There’s glitter on the floor after the party.

A post shared by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Dec 5, 2017 at 6:51am PST

I still don’t know what happened between Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift. As much as I’d like to think that Karlie simply had enough of Tay’s Mean Girl/Snake Emoji act, I suspect that the real story was so much more complicated. Taylor doesn’t want us to even think about her breakup with Karlie though – Tay wants us to think that she’s SO PRIVATE with Joe Alwyn. That’s her storyline now: performative privacy. She’s super-private and you know that she’s super-private because all anyone can talk about it how private she is now. Well, now Grazia – a British tabloid which is usually wrong – claims that Taylor’s privacy is for real and it’s all because she’s so loved up with Handsome Joe Alwyn, and they’re practically living together.

I’m sorry, the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Because she’s gone to ground since ‘practically moving in’ with her British actor boyfriend Joe Alwyn, 27. That’s according to the singer’s friends, who claim they’ve barely heard from her in recent months. Last week, it was reported that Taylor’s relationship of over a year with Joe has gone from strength to strength, and she spends so much time at his Crouch End house, they’re ‘practically living together’. And it’s said to have made Taylor, 28, neglectful of her famous squad.

Speaking last week on condition of anonymity, one high-profile former member of her clique exclusively told Grazia, ‘Celebrity friendships are weird. You don’t see each other for forever, and you accept that – but Taylor’s gone off-grid in a big way since meeting Joe.’

The friend also claimed that Taylor has ruffled feathers by asking squad members not to publicly comment on her. ‘I even heard about people getting requests not to mention her in interviews. It’s hard when that’s all you’re asked about, but Taylor is hyper-sensitive. I guess you have to be high-maintenance to become the biggest pop star in the world.’

Elsewhere, Taylor’s close friends Karlie Kloss and Lorde are rumoured to have defected fromher squad in favour of hanging out with her ‘straight-up enemy’ Katy Perry. Last month, Karlie was forced to delete a video of herself playing basketball, which she captioned ‘Swish swish’, the name of Katy’s Taylor diss track. She was then spotted at dinner with Katy, causing fans to flood her Instagram with rat emojis.

It’s a far cry from 2014 to 2016, when Taylor’s online presence was dominated by references to her famous friends, her annual Fourth of July bash was attended by everyone with a Wikipedia page, and even Beyoncé and Jay Z put in an appearance at her birthday. In contrast, last year her Independence Day party was cancelled, and her track This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things hinted at her disillusionment with being BFF to the entire A-list. ‘It was so nice throwing big parties/Jump into the pool from the balcony/Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year’, she sang. ‘So why’d you have to rain on my parade? I’m shaking my head and locking the gates.’

Does this spell the end of the squad? According to a second insider, ‘Taylor’s been keeping a low profile, but there hasn’t been a big fall-out. She was stung by claims her squad was elitist and prefers to spend time with close friends one-on-one at the moment. Since meeting Joe, her priorities have shifted, and everyone’s hoping for her sake that it works out. If it doesn’t, she may find herself having to make some awkward reparations.

[From Grazia]

“Taylor’s been keeping a low profile, but there hasn’t been a big fall-out. She was stung by claims her squad was elitist…” Horsesh-t. I mean, I doubt there was a massive “fall-out” but why are people so hesitant to call this what it is? It’s a re-brand. The girl-squad was a re-brand too. Taylor cycles through brands/images for each album, and she was “stung” when the girl-squad brand outlived its usefulness and blew up in her face when Kim Kardashian dropped the receipts. So she rebranded: performative privacy, being loved up and serious with an actor who is not a dancing dragonfly (Tom Hiddleston). As for Taylor abandoning her girl squad…remember when she sat there (with a straight face) and told Vanity Fair that she was going to be BFFs with two dozen women for her entire life and HOW DARE YOU question that? Ha.

Inescapable I’m not even gonna try. And if I get burned, At least we were electrified.

A post shared by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on Dec 4, 2017 at 4:42pm PST

Photos courtesy of Instagram.