Carson Daily on his anxiety and panic attacks: ‘You feel like you’re dying’

2018 NBC NY Midseason Press Junket
I know Carson Daly from the early aughts on MTV, where he got his start hosting Total Request Live. He seems so self assured and natural in front of the camera, which is how you assume most media personalities are. Carson currently hosts The Voice and is an anchor on the Today Show, where he recently opened up about the fact that he has anxiety and has suffered from panic attacks for years. He was inspired by Kevin Love, of the Cleveland Cavaliers, who wrote a moving essay about having a panic attack during a game and being worried that people would find out about it. Carson said that he can have a panic attack when he otherwise might not be under stress, like at a playground with his kids and wife, and that he’s experienced anxiety since childhood (Note that this story has been out for a little bit but I wanted to talk about it.) Here’s some of what he said and you can see the video.

Carson said his anxiety started as a child.

“I was a worrywart kid. I was always worrying,” he said. “My father died when I was 5. I had an ulcer when I was in high school. I’ve been nervous my whole life.”

It worsened after he moved from his native California for a job at MTV.

“I moved to New York and my life changed overnight,” he said.

“At times I feel like there’s a saber-tooth tiger right here and it’s going to kill me attack me and bite my head off. I’m scared as if that’s really happening,” he said. “You feel like you’re dying.”

After one anxiety attack, he went to the hospital to make sure the tightness gripping his body wasn’t from a heart attack.

“People think, ‘Oh, he has anxiety. High pressure life. You know, you’re on television.’ It has nothing to do with that,” he said.

Carson said panic can grip him even during moments when most people would feel relaxed.

“I’ve had heightened anxiety and mild panic attacks at the playground with my own children and wife there. The feeling was so gripping and so terrifying that literally I had to leave and excuse myself,” he said.

Carson said part of the reason he’s talking about his anxiety is to help explain that the disorder doesn’t come with an easy fix.

“We live in that world where it’s like, ‘What did he take? I’ll take that too.’ It’s not that simple,” he said.

I opted for a cognitive therapist, somebody who teaches you about anxiety, the model of it, and offers you tools on how to kind of work through it,” he said. “Muscle retention relaxation really helps me.”

That technique can involve something as simple as clinching his fists enough to flex his arm muscles. That’s enough to help him feel “an ocean of relaxation” wash over him. Other techniques that can help anxiety include exercise and yoga.

“This is the way I was born. This is the way I was hardwired. This is the downside the way God made me and there’s a tremendous upside as well,” he said.

[From Today]

In the follow up segment, which you can see below, they also talked about the stigma associated with anxiety, particularly for men. They emphasized that there are help and tools available. Kudos to Carson for being so honest about his anxiety. That takes bravery to reveal, especially in his career when it can be used against you. Amanda Seyfried, Kristen Bell and Selena Gomez are among the celebrities who have discussed their anxiety, and this is one of the more heartfelt admissions. I like how he explained that being sensitive and feeling things deeply is an upside. In the video he also showed the relaxation technique he uses where he tenses his fists and biceps as hard as he can before releasing them.

As someone with anxiety, I came away with some tips from this interview. I’m going to remind myself to listen to music and to meditate as needed. I related to his story and I’m grateful he alerted me to Love’s essay.

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2018 NBC NY Midseason Press Junket

photos credit: WENN and Getty

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23 Responses to “Carson Daily on his anxiety and panic attacks: ‘You feel like you’re dying’”

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  1. Nicegirl says:

    I can relate. Thank you for this article!!

  2. minx says:

    Been there, panic attacks are a horrible curse.

  3. Birdix says:

    This is helpful to me in trying to understand my anxious kid. Thank you.

  4. NYC_girl says:

    Yes, they are horrible. I have had them since I was a child. Had them briefly one of my summers in high school, but thankfully it went dormant until I was in my 30s. I suffered horribly for almost 6 years – even with my therapist’s help. I couldn’t date. I had to travel for work and it was a horrible struggle. Finally she referred me to a psychiatrist because I was isolating myself, and we planned 6 months with a small dose of Lexapro. It helped a lot, but didn’t make it go away. I saw a great cognitive behavioral therapist who was also a yoga instructor, and he made a big difference. I highly recommend that kind of treatment – I just needed a few sessions to “reprogram” myself somewhat. So much of anxiety has to do with “what if” and avoiding the environments and situations that cause it. Of course, it is more complicated than that…. thankfully the anxiety stopped around 2012. It is a very big challenge, esp since people don’t see you as having an actual “physical” illness, and it is almost impossible to describe the feeling when it’s happening. My family and friends could tell from my face when I was having an attack, and thankfully understood and let me flee the scene if I had to. One or two good guys also understood, but I was a total mess. I regret it, because I feel like I lost years to the struggle. My heart goes out to all of those dealing with it.

  5. winosaurusrex says:

    Thanks you Carson.

    I’m open about my struggles with anxiety and depression, but I can never seem to put it into words. Frankly the best account I’ve ever read came from Hyperbole and a Half. she did a 3 part series on depression, and I have never ever seen anything more accurate, or easy for those who’ve never experienced it to understand.

    Anyone who comes forward with their struggles, helps normalize it, which allows all of us to feel less marginalized and stigmatized. Mental health is something that will affect every person at some point in their lives-either personally, or because someone they know and love is going through something.

  6. Loopy says:

    I get panic attacks but only in my sleep,I jolt out of bed and my heart it either pounding or it feels like it is getting squeezed,you truly feel like you are dying. I have never experienced one just in the middle of the day doing something like sitting in a park.

    • Jess says:

      I didn’t know that could happen in your sleep! I’ve woken up several times and jumped out of bed because my heart was pounding and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I assumed they were from a bad dream but this actually makes more sense. I’ve had 4 of what I think were panic attacks, my heart suddenly started pounding and my whole body shook, I kept thinking “just go outside and take in nature and look at something normal for a few minutes, you’ll be ok”. Maybe I need to go talk with someone, they happen during stressful periods but not often.

    • LisaPreng says:

      Have you had your thyroid levels checked? I had the same symptom and thought it was my anxiety but it turned out to be caused by a thyroid issue.

    • april says:

      It’s probably sleep apnea. That’s the same reaction I had when I would have an apnea (airway is not getting air and body stops breathing). I have a bed (like a hospital bed) that you can automatically raise the head and I’m better now.

  7. Kristen says:

    This actually humanized Carson for me, and helped me feel a little empathy for him — something I’m trying to do more of in general.

    After I had a baby, I started feeling more anxiety symptoms. I never had a problem with public speaking, but now I have issues with losing my breath and just generally feeling like my throat is closing up. I’ve considered talking to a doctor about it.

    • NeoCleo says:

      I think it’s a great idea to speak with a doctor. Don’t suffer in silence, especially when you’ve got the added (good but still) pressure of raising a child. You might be struggling with post-partum depression.

      Signed,

      Been there, etc.

  8. Scarlet Vixen says:

    I started getting anxiety & panic attacks relatively later in life (about 18mos ago when I was 36 & my mum was dying). So, I haven’t really learned how to cope with attacks yet (I have an essential oil blend that helps them dissipate, but nothing to prevent them). They’ve really caught me off-guard, because while I’ve always been a bit of a worrier I never ever realized how debilitating panic attacks can be. I can be sitting on my couch minding my own business & suddenly feel like my heart is literally going to explode. I have SO much respect for people like Carson who have struggled their entire lives.

    • Mrs. WelenMelon says:

      If it is at all possible, seek professional help. Anxiety is one of the most treatable things out there. Some “only” need to learn that the mind can only really think one thought at a time. At the onset to an anxiety attack, you replace anxious thoughts with music or visualization of a happy place, etc. Others also need medication.

      This is not something you self-treat.

      • NYC_girl says:

        Distraction is a big help, but doesn’t always work. I remember in my teens I used to keep the September “Back to School” issue of Seventeen magazine near me – it was like, 500 pages and offered me some relief LOL

  9. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    My attacks started in my 30s, and it’s been an uphill battle ever since. Yes there is stress, but they never happen in stressful situations. I’ll have one watching TV or at the grocery store or wake up with one. And every time, my husband’s all, “But why? You’re not stressed right now.” Every time. So annoying.

  10. RspbryChelly says:

    My panic attacks started in my late teen years. The worst one was when I actually passed out in the street! And they’re also never triggered by stressful situations, even just coming out of the shower could bring one on. I haven’t had one in some time but I always dread the thought that i could have 1 at any moment

    • PJ says:

      @RSPBRYCHELLY: It’s funny you should mention that because for me (and so many others), the fear of having anxiety can almost be worse that what anxiety I do have.

      Also, I’ve been noticing that I’m more prone to physical anxiety these days when I’m doing things like trying to relax on the couch and just watch tv. It’s so confusing & scary! There’s no trigger, and I feel like “If I’m having these symptoms in an environment/situation where I should be at my MOST relaxed, what will this mean if I try to go out later?” Awful. I feel you :/

      • ninjacat says:

        Anxiety and panic never come out of nowhere. They are triggered by thoughts – some you may not be aware you had. They are physical responses is to a perceived threat. Learn to examine and change your thinking on a deep level to identify your triggers. It’s not easy, but can be done.

  11. Britney says:

    Anxiety? Funny, he never seemed to have anxiety when he, Kid Rock, and Fred Durst were publicly groping groupies backstage. Just wait until those stories come out. Carson is a PIG!
    This “anxiety” that he claims to be suffering from is classic post-pothead behavior. All those years of hibitually smoking himself stupid before and after shows has really taken its toll.

  12. PJ says:

    Thank you Carson! I’ve struggled with horrible bouts of anxiety-sometimes in the form of debilitating, physical symptoms such as constant panic attacks (as in my early 20s), other times, it’s purely mental in the form of racing thoughts and generalized fear of constant “what ifs” (which is what I almost exclusively deal with now in my mid-30s).

    Medication helps, but it’s not a perfect science. In fact, some of the best tools that I’ve recieved for relief have been from cognitive behavioral therapy. The first I learned was from a former psychiarist. I’ll never forget the day I called him in the midst of one of the most terrifying, HORRENDOUS panic attacks of my life (it hit me like a Mack truck while I was just walking down the street on a lovely summer day. In the moment, I truly though that death would be better-those who suffer know they really can be THAT bad.) He told me to choose a focal point that appealed to me to stare at while he remained on the line. That was it. I thought he was nuts! But after a few seconds of screaming through tears, I did choose one-a beautiful orange lily-and that moment changed my life forever. I was completely at peace and “reset” within a minute or so. He explained to me that the body cannot focus on more than one stimulous at a time. By simply staring at the flower and focusing on slow, repetitive, deep breathing, my nervous system had no choice but to stop the adreneline rush and move on.
    It was incredible!

    The other tip I picked up was on an online thread from a fellow sufferer, via her CBT therapist: the second you feel those all too familiar tell tale signs coming on, grab a pen and piece of paper and start writing a list of first and last names. They can be of people you know, made up, celebrities, whatever. The point again is simply that your nervous system cannot focus itself on multiple stimuli at the same time (kind of why Carson’s muscle clentching works). Sometimes, it really is the things that seem “too easy” that work best 🙂 I hope these tips can help someone else as they’ve helped me.

    • Lucia says:

      @PJ – so true. I’ve done similar techniques but I found them myself after reading specialized literature on the topic and trying out many many tricks. After many panic attacks and methods I finally found a combination that helped. Distraction – mental or physical distraction. I remember when I was a kid and going to the dentist whenever I had pain I would grip my hand or finger and squeeze it really tight to create another pain that was stronger and eclipsed the first one. It works the same way with panic attacks because the body cannot focus on two sensations at the same time – by creating a distraction, your mind and body change focus.
      Think about your favourite pie recipe (or a poem or anything else) and say it out loud with details; look around and start describing what you see as if you are explaining it to an alien, talk talk talk lots of details and even make up stories around it – it will take your mind off your worries AND it will extend your exhale which slows down the heart, when taking you won’t be able to breathe fast; try EFT (google it) – tapping certain acupuncture points (works like magic); shake arms and legs firmly or tense your muscles and then relax them repeatedly; tap the area in the middle of your chest just below your clavicles (a gland called timus is there, balances sympathetic and para-sympathetic nervous systems) as if you’re playing the guitar. Just be inventive and find derivatives.

      • PJ says:

        @LUCIA: Thank you for sharing! The internet has been an invaluable resource for me this past year. Just knowing that I’m not alone in my struggles, and being able to share with people online who face similar hurdles helps tremendously in and of itself.