Pink covers the latest issue of Redbook, and man, she’s doing a lot of press for her current tour. It feels like she’s been on the covers of like six magazines over the space of two months, although I’m sure that’s wrong. Since it’s Redbook, Pink mostly talks about motherhood and what it’s like to deal with two little kids all while being a full-time rock star. Some of this I like and appreciate, but there’s one part that upsets me. You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:
On finding balance between life as Alecia Moore and life as Pink: “I’ve never juggled so many damn plates in my life, but it’s because I want to. I enjoy it. If I had nannies raising my kids and just wanted to be a rock star and party all the time, I wouldn’t be successful and I wouldn’t be happy.”
On life on the road with Willow (7 years) and Jameson (18 months): “When touring stops working for the kids, if they decide they just want to be home and have a normal life, whatever that means, I’ll stop, because they are by far the priority. But I think it’s cool that they get to see their mom be the boss and work really freaking hard to realize a dream. I’d say it’s 95% positive.”
On being emotional, being a crier: “I am a total crier. I cry at commercials. I cry when the wind’s changing directions. Willow won’t cry ever, and it annoys me to no end. One day I had a sit-in at her school because I knew she was upset and she wouldn’t talk to me. I sat down on the pavement and I was like, “I’m not moving until you tell me about your feelings, because this is going to be a lifelong conversation for you and me and you have to learn to let me in.” Without batting an eye, she goes, “I promise to tell you more about my feelings if you promise to tell me less about yours.” In my head I was like, Holy s–t! But I said, “Not going to happen. People pay me for my feelings.” She processes differently than I do, and it’s teaching me a lot about how to deal with people. I process out loud. She does it inside and it scares me a little, but I have to let her go through her process.
This is the part I appreciate: “I think it’s cool that they get to see their mom be the boss and work really freaking hard to realize a dream.” Too few women talk about that, how important it is for them to let their kids see that their mom has a job, that their mom works, that their mom has other things on her plate other than being a mom. I’m not saying stay-at-home moms are doing it wrong at all, I’m saying that I reject this notion that SAHMs are somehow superior or doing it better. Everybody’s different, and I like that Pink is talking about how it’s important to HER that her kids see her working.
The part I don’t like: when a seven-year-old child is telling her mom to be less verbal and less emotional, that’s a signal that the kid feels overwhelmed by her mother. Your kid feels like there isn’t room for HER to feel anything because mommy is so emotional and everything is about how mommy feels. Trust me – I have that kind of mom. It’s really difficult. It’s a difficult way to grow up. Moms need to know that they shouldn’t dump all of their emotional sh-t on their kids too.
Cover and photo courtesy of Jason Kim/August for Redbook, sent from a promotional Redbook email.
Love her! Always have loved her since Day 1 as the anti-Britney. She’s so awesome.
Always liked her but wonder why she’s overcompensating about motherhood. I think she’d benefit, and her daughter would too, if Pink spent some of her energy on therapy.
I feel for her daughter. Pink seems to miss that life needs a balance of ease and grace too. Also she’s refusing to acknowledge what her daughter is telling her about her own boundaries. FFS it’s alarming.
I have that kind of mom (always sharing feelings, making it about her). It’s hell. I feel like I’ve always been an adult because of it.
Yeah, it’s about understanding and respecting the fact that different people process and communicate differently. It’s okay to coach your kids on how to communicate, but not okay to force them into a communication style that doesn’t work for them.
My 8 year old is a hesitant and closed communicator. It causes problems. I try to teach him communication skills but no way do I push him too far too fast. Baby steps, patience and he’ll get there.
On the hard-working mom thing: I get it. I’ve been both a stay at home mom and a working mom, and I much prefer my kids to see me working.
Just because you HAVE feelings doesn’t mean you get to subject other people to them. Respect her no. She’s telling you how she needs to relate to you and what she needs from you. Less emotions. Maybe pinks process of emotions is inhibiting her working through her own stuff. It doesn’t even matter though – another person (yes a child) asked for a set boundary to better the relationship between you two. RESPECT IT
I don’t think I could ever be an artist – the very idea of openly sharing my emotions with the world makes me squirmy. I spend significant energy masking my emotions for the outside world – strangers on the street, co-workers, even casual friends. My feelings are mine, they are private, and I don’t share them with just anyone. If asked how I FEEL, I usually give a one word answer. On the other hand, ask what I THINK, about any subject, and I will talk for hours. Seriously, try to shut me up.
The thing I keep coming back to. She would stop touring of the kids needed it. Full stop. But her child asks her to stop flaying her with her emotions and she says no because people pay me for my emotions. What? You would give up millions of dollars from touring if your kids ask. But you won’t respect a simple request for an emotional boundary.
Love Pink she is awesome and love the skirt outfit. She looks beautiful!
I love Pink, always have. But has there been a single interview for the last few years that hasn’t been exclusively about her kids? I would never have pegged Pink to be *that* kind of mum, who just doesn’t seem to talk about anything else.
She looks better after 2 kids than I do after 0.