Well, her much-hyped “comeback” was once again a massive failure. Like most of Britney Spears’ other comebacks of late, she underperformed and horribly embarrassed herself. Britney opened the VMAs with what was supposed to be an impressive, magic-laced performance of her new single, “Gimme More.” She left the audience thinking the same thing. Spears wandered around the stage aimlessly with a bleary, drugged out expression on her face. Instead of dancing, she swayed her hips randomly and let a dancer grab her a few times. She half-heartedly shook her hips and did a couple body rolls, and at a few points it looked like she might stumble, but she managed to right herself. And that was about it. She’d completely forgotten how to lip-sync… hello, don’t you have a hairbrush and a mirror to practice with like the rest of us?

“Somewhere, Kevin Federline is laughing.

“An out-of-shape, out-of-touch Britney Spears delivered what was destined to be the most talked about performance of the MTV Video Music Awards - but for all the wrong reasons. Kicking off the show Sunday night with her new single, “Gimme More,” Spears looked bleary and unprepared - much like her recent tabloid exploits on the streets of Los Angeles.

“She lazily walked through her dance moves with little enthusiasm. It appeared she had forgotten the entire art of lip-synching; and, perhaps most unforgivable given her once taut frame, she looked embarrassingly out of shape.

“Even the celebrity-studded audience seemed bewildered. 50 Cent looked at Spears with a confused expression; Diddy, her new best friend, was expressionless.

“Some comeback.”

[From the Associated Press]

It’s clear that Britney’s days of super-athletic routines are far behind her. Though she’s always lip-synced in concert, most people forgave that, since there’s no way someone could dance the way she did and sing. But most of us could stumble around confused without a problem. I don’t think she looked bad in terms of her physique, but she’s clearly forgotten how to dance and how to perform. So essentially, she’s forgotten how to have a career. Either she was incredibly tired or she was on something… my guess is both. According to 24/Sizzler, Britney partied until 6 a.m. the night before the Video Music Awards.

“Britney Spears, donning a fedora hat and blonde extensions arrived at Tao for a Samsung Gleam bash around 1 a.m. Sunday morning with her partying partner-in-crime Diddy…The duo partied in the club’s VIP area and danced to Britney’s new single ‘Gimme More’…Former rehab inpatient Britney drank Grey Goose vodka and sugar-free Red Bull, while Diddy downed Patron…

“On Saturday, Britney sidekick Alli Sims arrived at the Tao Hospitality suite – sans Britney – but with two other friends…’Alli claimed that Britney was so tired from the night before partying until 6 a.m. that she wanted Alli to pull “fun” swag from the suite,’ tattles a 24Sizzler.com eyewitness. Alli grabbed Britney product from Disney Couture, Treesje Handbags, Luxottica sunglasses but kept the Oceanaut watch for herself.’”

[From 24/Sizzler]

It’s not like a lot of people were pulling for Britney anymore, but I naively thought that if MTV was going to let her open the VMAs, she must have a good performance ready. The VMAs have lost a lot of viewers the last few years, and MTV has been trying to revive the awards show. But apparently they were willing to take a risk on an old commodity, and it definitely didn’t pan out. Sarah Silverman caustically summed up Brit’s performance “Was that incredible? Britney Spears, everyone. Wow. She is amazing. She is 25-years-old and she’s already accomplished everything she’s going to accomplish in her life. It’s mind blowing.” Watching Britney limp around on stage was sort of sad, but it doesn’t make me pull for her. It just makes me hope she goes back into rehab – or wherever she needs to be – stays away from the spotlight, and gets her life together. Then, when she can actually do a great job, she should work on a comeback.

Note by Celebitchy: Here’s the video thanks to Britney.cl

Pictures via Britney.cl and JJB.