Jessica Simpson has a huge closet full of painful-looking shoes

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I’ll admit it, I love shoes. And, as an admitted shoe-a-holic, I kind of dig that Jessica Simpson has a great affinity for footwear. The 37-year-old singer/actress/shoe designer devotes the hashtag #shoecrushsaturday to showing off some of the sweet kicks in her closet. In the past she’s shown us her own sexy stilettos, some crave-worthy velvet Prada booties and some plaid knee-high Fendi boots.

This past weekend, Jessica used her #shoecrushsaturday to give us a peek into her own, floor-to-ceiling packed shoe closet. Jessica sits among her color-coordinated, mostly high heeled pumps and wedge sandals, strapping on a 70s inspired pair of platforms. She captioned the shot, “Decisions, Decisions.” I don’t know about you, but I’d love to spend a Saturday in that closet.

Decisions, Decisions. #ShoeCrushSaturday

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My closet may not have nearly as many shoes as Jessica’s, but I have a couple of pairs of her shoes in it, and, as cute as they are, they are blister machines. I’m getting to the age where the compliments about my shoes aren’t worth the pain I have to endure to get them. But, I digress.

Apparently, Jessica has developed quite an addiction to posting “closet selfies”. She has been using the closet as her own photo studio over the past few months, showcasing shots clad in some scanty swimwear. She’s even gotten hubby Eric Johnson into the act. A few weeks ago the couple shared their finest beachwear couture in a closet shot. Jessica captioned the snap, “I taught my husband the art of the closet selfie.” Yep, he’s a duck face away from mastering this, isn’t he?

I taught my husband the art of the closet selfie 😜

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I am well aware this screams “trying too hard,” but Jessica posting shoe pics from other designers makes her a little more relatable, as far as I’m concerned. I feel like we have a bond of sorts over beautiful, and surely kind of painful, heels. That being said, Jessica, if you could make just one pair of cute heels that don’t make me want to chop my feet off after a couple of hours, I’d be eternally grateful.

Jessica Simpson leaves a Hotel in New York City

Jessica Simpson retuning to her hotel in New York

Outstanding Mother Awards 2018

Photos: Getty Images, WENN.com

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64 Responses to “Jessica Simpson has a huge closet full of painful-looking shoes”

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  1. MostlyMegan says:

    A closet full of shoes, but only ugly brown or black platforms to chose from? That is like the 9th circle of hell for me.

    • Athyrmose says:

      Agreed.

    • lightpurple says:

      That’s what I noticed first too! Black, brown and beige. Where’s the color? Where’s the fun? Whats weird is I have a pair of bright red patent leather pumps that are her line. She makes shoes in colors, why not own shoes in colors? Or maybe they’re in another closet?

    • Jess says:

      Exactly, I don’t understand having so many similar shoes! If I had that much money I’d at least have a shit ton of colors and variety, surely she has another closet full?

    • Astrid says:

      +1

    • SM says:

      This only proves that fame and fortune can not buy you a good taste. I usually pass by a section like this in a shop without stopping and I am precious about my shoes. Too often i will go shoe hunting and come back empty because I never buy shoes just for the sake of having new pair, I have to really like my shoes.

      • GameofScones says:

        I’m hopping there’s more to the closet and those are just the neutrals. I swear I’ve seen her wear fun shoes.

      • DearWhitePeople says:

        I got off the “I’m so Carrie” shoe hoarding when I found out most shoes from China are made from dogs. It’s not a cute trend, it’s just part of the problem.

  2. Alissa says:

    I have a pair of red pumps by her that are AMAZING, and surprisingly comfy.

    • lightpurple says:

      Red patent leather, 2 inch heel? That’s what i have and I love them!

      Note to Corey: get a pair of comfortable, boring, dowdy walking shoes for getting about outdoors and carrying your beautiful shoes in a tote bag of some sort so you can change when you reach your destination. Spares you the blisters and also cuts down on the damage hard pavement and sidewalk cracks can wreak on your pretty shoes.

    • Druzilla says:

      I have a few pair of very high heels from her and find them super comfortable. My faves!

  3. Mrs. WelenMelon says:

    For some reason, my mind put this story and the Ted Cruz story together to become a visit to Ted Cruz’s shoe closet.

    You’re welcome.

  4. Clare says:

    Man, shows aside, she needs ti rethink her fake tan. That shade of fake-mahogany is not a good look.

    The picture of her and husband in the closet made me think of that Friends episode where Ross gets a spray tan, lol.

    • Kelly says:

      Yeah, her face looks haggard and I think it’s a combination of the neon tan and the top light hair. If she eased up on both, she’d look a lot better.

  5. Abby says:

    I have some summery wedges from her line that are SUPER comfortable. I’ve got other shoes by her that were SO CUTE but so uncomfortable I could barely walk. But 20-something me did not care. I’m a 30-something mom now so I’ve pruned most of the unwearable shoes. I do love me some shoes though, her closet is amazing.

  6. manda says:

    Those platforms are awful but she has always been self-conscious of her shortness. I think her high heeled pumps look like Miss Piggy shoes

  7. Josephine says:

    She seems innocuous enough, but the shoes are ugly and her tan is worse. But the worst offender is her hair/wig/extensions — not sure what is going on with what’s on her head. I don’t get her hair on how she can think it’s flattering to her. She seems stuck in time and maturity level.

    • Kitten says:

      Shoes? All I can see are her awful, too-blonde extensions. It’s a really bad, very dated look. Her and Brittney, man..they need to evolve a bit.

      • minx says:

        Just what I was going to write. Tone down the hair color, go shorter, dump the fake tan. They are both pretty women.

  8. Lexilla says:

    I’m reminded of the old saying: It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.

  9. Naptime says:

    I’m sorry but her shoe connection looks like the footwear department at the salvation army. Not only are they all brown or black, they all look beat to hell, too.

    • Rachel in August says:

      Good one, yes, lol. The shoes aside, the woman who said she’d never get lip fillers again appears to have lots of lip filler in her top lip especially! And that boob job is gross-looking, almost like Anna-Nicole Smith having two implants stuffed into each boob.

    • mela says:

      i thought the same thing lol

    • DiegoInSF says:

      @Naptime, I laughed out loud at the train station. 😀 you’re spot on!

  10. Patricia says:

    Excess to that degree comes off like some kind of mild mental illness to me. It’s insane. I know I know her money and all, she’s not hurting anyone blah blah. I get it. But seriously what goes on in the mind of someone who has that many pairs of shoes?

    • GameofScones says:

      It says “I have a lot of money and I like shoes” to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • Josephine says:

      acquiring new things gives a quick and very temporary boost. i imagine that’s true even if you have a lot of money. so when i see people who have so much, i think they are people who need that quick boost over and over again. boredom, stress, unhappiness, just not enough going on to keep them satisfied, etc…

    • Abby says:

      If I had the money to burn and the room, i would have that many shoes. Not the exact ones she’s got in hers but…. I love me some shoes. Shoes don’t care if you gain weight or have flabby arms. They still look good. 😆

    • Veronica S. says:

      She’s wealthy and owns a clothing line. I imagine many of those come from her own shoe collection. Materialism isn’t exactly something new in America.

      This being said, *I* own a lot of shoes, and I’m not excessively wealthy. When your job requires a more sedate dress code, shoes can add a little personality to the outfit. Years of collecting them means that I’ve probably got about fifty pairs lying around. *shrugs* Everyone has their indulgences. From a more pragmatic perspective, I work on my feet, so limiting myself to a few pairs would mean faster turn over as they wore out and had to be replaced.

      • Bridget says:

        Why do you think she has shoes from her own line in there? Jessica is well known as someone who wears high end designers. Has she ever been photographed in her own line?

      • Veronica S. says:

        Because…it’s probably free? I’m not saying that a fair amount of it likely isn’t high end, but plenty of people mix high/low.

      • Cee says:

        @Bridget – yes, she has.

  11. Samab says:

    I would spend my money differently but to each his own

  12. Veronica S. says:

    I legit thought her husband was a cardboard cutout in that selfie. I guess that says as much about his personality.

  13. Samab says:

    Besides shoes…..why celebrities stick to their do’s even when it gets so clearly unflattering?The fake blonde,the skin….is it so difficult to gets your colors right?

  14. SunnyT34 says:

    I don’t get why anyone wears shoes that hurt! I think it is interesting that it is usually women who force their feet into torture machines. I certainly wouldn’t, it just seems stupid.

  15. boredblond says:

    99% of the shoes that get oohs and ahhs here look painful to me..to each their own..

  16. Cee says:

    She has great legs!
    I own maybe 10 pairs of shoes and 3 pairs of boots so her show closet looks overwhelming to me.
    I would play dress up every single day.

  17. Lala says:

    All jokes aside…who dresses her? WHO ACTUALLY PUTS HER IN THOSE OUTFIT AND THOSE HAIRSTYLES?!?!

  18. Sarah says:

    It’s like 2004 blew up all over Jessica…platinum extensions, fake tan, bad clothes…😆

  19. Bridget says:

    That closet selfie with her husband was clearly her answer to the “is she pregnant” question. I hope she burns that Gucci dress in that case.

  20. Bailie says:

    She used to be kind of cute when she was married to Nick Lachey.

    Now she reminds me of some 90’s washed up porn star with that awful platinum, fake looking hair/hair piece and horrendous fake tan.

    I’m not even going to discuss her horrible clothing choices.

    What happened to this woman???

    I guess, the saying is true, it cost a lot of money to look this cheap.

    Maybe she should spend some time in Europe, to look around a bit, observe women walking around, to learn to tone it down and also take it down about 10 notches.

    She looks as fake as they come, a little more natural look would not hurt her at all.

    I didn’t realize that her legs are so unattractive until now.

    I love shoes, but I’m very picky about the quality, just like my clothes and bags, I rather spend a lot of money on one pair of great shoes than buy 5 pairs of some cheap crap.

    Less is more in my book, always quality over quantity.

    America is way too materialistic, greed is a problem.

  21. Oliviajoy1995 says:

    Is that a recent picture of her and Eric in the closet? Because I thought I just saw recent pictures of them and neither of them looked like that.

  22. holly hobby says:

    Ugh what happened to her face? She looks different. That closet picture with the hubby looks like something from Real Housewives too. Tacky tacky tacky.

  23. Valerie says:

    Dear god.

  24. ASHBY says:

    How tacky, materialism at it’s best.

    Have less stuff and rather make more memories.

    Jessica also looks really fake.

  25. Happy21 says:

    She’s sooo tacky, real housewives style but I can’t help it, I’ve had a soft spot for her since her Newlywed days. She’s harmless as a kitten and comes across as dumb as a box of rocks but I think she’s got to be somewhat savy to have employed the best of the best to keep her rolling in the dough.

  26. Laura says:

    I have always enjoyed Jessica Simpson’s music, tv shows and her fashion line 😍

    That being said, I have never really understood the point of having so much stuff, whether the stuff is shoes, clothing, or whatever else people fill their homes with. I am a minimalist at heart, living in a very small one bedroom apartment with my two chihuahuas, ten articles of clothing and three pairs of footwear (winter boots, running shoes and one pair of “dress up” heels). I don’t make a lot of money so I suppose I prefer to devote my excess income to experiences such as travel, restaurants, going to the theatre/zoo/musuems and supporting a specific few charities that are close to my heart.

    No shade or judgement of those who prefer to embrace extreme materialism though because if we were all the same this world would be really boring 😉

  27. jferber says:

    I’ve always found her harmless and kind of likeable. She is a very pretty woman. I’ve seen her clothes/shoes in stores. I once got a Jessica Simpson teddy set (shorts and cami) and it was cute. However, when I see Ivanka Trump’s stuff, my blood just curdles. Why oh why does Lord & Taylor still carry her stuff?

  28. Lisbon says:

    Jessica’s father made some good licensing deals for her.
    I have nothing against her, although she is not very bright and she looks cheap and tacky.
    Also very materialistic, but what else is new in USA.
    Too much “STUFF”, but not enough money to pay bills and barely any savings.
    Who needs pairs and pairs of black and beige shoes???

  29. Tea Bags, baby! says:

    I LOVE HER SHOES. I am very hard on my shoes, the bottom of the heels always come off, revealing the little metal spoke that ruins wood floors-and all the pairs from her have lasted and lasted.

  30. KiddV says:

    I like that she has a 70’s vibe. I think a lot of her shoes are cute but I can’t bring myself to buy any.

    And where are the clothes in that closet? If she has that many pairs of shoes, I find it hard to believe they have an empty clothes closet.

  31. LittlefishMom says:

    Off topic- I don’t like the color of her hair or the length. She is so pretty. I love her hair shoulder length or shorter.

  32. raincoaster says:

    Her fashion and shoe lines are pretty good. I don’t wear heels, so I can’t speak to that comfort, but the flats are good and don’t cut into your feet teh way some can. I’ve been impressed with the JSimp stuff I’ve bought. And she’d look better if she wore her own lines and not some of the “Mid-Range Eastern European Escort” stuff she usually wears.

  33. beatrixkiddo says:

    He looks like hell. wtf

  34. Jane says:

    I’ll probably get a lot of hate for saying this…but I simply cannot stand her.

  35. janet says:

    I own two pairs of shoes. That’s it. Hate buying them. Hate trying to match them to clothing. Hate wearing in new shoes and feeling uncomfortable.

    I just don’t get the shoe thing.

    Am i the only one?