Just Jared has pictures of Madonna exiting a hotel with her husband, Guy Ritchie, and carrying a clear bag with a product in a pink box labeled “purple penetrator.” In case there’s any doubt what the thing is, there’s a clear picture of someone wearing it on the package and it’s all curvy and solid-looking.

In the photo description on Just Jared, he says that they’re leaving Claridges Hotel in London on Monday. It’s night time, so maybe the package was a gag gift from someone. Jared points out that Guy’s birthday was that day, so I would bet someone gave him a gift he’s not likely to live down. Still, it looks more like a present for Madonna than her husband. Don’t like that image in your head? Try to stop thinking of it, you know you can’t resist.

In the latest Madonna news, there’s an accusation that she threatened to kill a security guard for the band Bloc Party after he put her in a headlock and dragged her out of the band’s dressing room at Live Earth. The security guard didn’t recognize her and seems to think she was just barging in. Madonna started cursing and yelling and wriggled out of the big guy’s grasp:

Speaking about the incident, Bloc Party’s frontman Kele Okereke said that the band’s Scottish tour manager was not aware of who Madonna was.

“When she came in, he alerted security and security dragged her out. In a headlock,” explained the singer. “It was really surreal, and everyone stopped speaking.”

He added: “And all we could hear is Madonna cursing and saying she’s gonna kill these guys. She’s really tough because of all that Pilates that she does, so she got out of the headlock quite easily.”

Madonna and Bloc Party were two of many acts who performed at the Live Earth earlier this year – which had been organised by former American Vice President Al Gore to raise awareness about the problem of global warming.

[From Gigwise]

Don’t mess with Madonna. She’ll fuck you up (the a**).

There are many more cringe-inducing photos of Madonna toting the strap on at Just Jared.

Update: Thanks to The Daily Mail for these larger res version.

Picture below is of Madonna after a workout earlier that day. Thanks to WENN.