Hoda Kotb adopted her eldest daughter, Haley Joy, in 2017. This spring, Haley became a big sister to Hope Catherine. A few weeks later, in May, Hoda and her daughters covered People. I love reading stories about Hoda. She seems like such a joyful person, and it’s clear that she loves being a mom and is so grateful to have her daughters in her life. Hoda is currently savoring her maternity leave, which includes a lot of trips to the beach. Though she’s excited to reunite with her Today colleagues again in a couple of weeks, on September 3, she doesn’t want to rush her time at home with her girls and her partner, Joel Schiffman. She spoke to People about how precious this time is:
“Work is incredibly important, but I do understand what my North Stars are now. And it’s clear. And when something is clear like that, decisions come easy,” Kotb tells PEOPLE. “I know I come from a place of incredible fortune … and [have taken] a maternity leave that is longer than most people are allowed to take. I’m on-my-knees grateful for that, because it matters to me. It’s not something everybody can do.”
“I can’t tell you how excited I am to go back, but at the same time I feel like I didn’t miss this moment,” she adds. “We all need to pay [our] bills and have insurance … we can’t take all the time we want. I get it. But I feel like if you can, and if you’re at a point where you feel like you can do it, you should do it. I’m sure every woman wants to do it and can’t. But if more women are taking the allotted time, then other women aren’t going to look at them funny.”
However, “It’s not a vacation,” Kotb warns. “I worked harder on maternity leave than I did at work. You’re up at the crack of dawn, and you’re up all hours. Stay-at-home moms should be called work-at-home moms. You are up all the time. We post stuff on Instagram from the beach, but it’s work. But it’s the best work. It’s the best work I did in my life. I don’t know if my kids will remember it, but … I will always remember.”
[From People]
Hoda also gushed that Hope is interacting with Haley and grabbing her while Haley is giving her kisses. Haley is “talking nonstop” and using complete sentences now, which Hoda said cracks her up. Hoda declared that this “will go down in my life as the best summer I ever had or will ever had.” Reading this article made me happy. I’m glad that Hoda’s summer has been such a great, meaningful one. A couple of friends have recently given birth, and I know they are already dreading going back to work. Hoda is right that if mothers (all parents!) have leave available they should take it, and not feel guilty about that. I appreciate that she acknowledges that she has the gift of a longer maternity leave than most mothers in the U.S., but she’s entitled to it use it, and I hope that she savors every last bit of it.
Here’s a video of Hoda announcing her return:
Yeah I’m glad she acknowledges that some women CAN’T take that leave. Many (maybe even most?) states will protect your job for 12 weeks of leave, but that time is unpaid. Here in NY we just got paid leave within the last few years, but it’s guaranteed and paid by the state not by the employer. A girlfriend of mine recently had some heart wrenching Facebook posts- she’s about 1.5 months post partum and she needs to go back to work due to struggling financially… so she was posting to see if she could find free or low cost childcare. I don’t know what she found but she’s back at work… poor thing.
Heartbreaking. And this is a big part of the reason why our generation is having less or no children. Lack of resources and support.
Yup. That and the environment/the world in general. My husband and I are not having any children (also because we simply don’t want any, haha…) I think of the movie Idiocracy and it freaks me out how realistic that future is, since most educated upper middle class people I know in my age group are still childless into our 30s. I think people in their 20s are even more hesitant.
Plus, watching those I do know with kids struggle so hard is ..: in a word, heartbreaking.
This is so sad and wrong. Get with the times USA!!!!! Here in Australia it’s far from perfect, but a lot of work places provided paid leave – usually 3 months but you can usually take 12 months leave without the risk of losing your job. You can then apply for a further 12 months. We also have 18 weeks of benefits from the Government- it’s minimum wage (about $740 per week).
Breaks my heart to hear how tough it is for some mothers.
On a side note: Hoda’s girls are ridiculously adorable. I love following her on Instagram!!!!
It’s unnatural. We don’t separate animals from their young for 8 weeks, but American women are expected leave their baby and go back to work right away. Not right at all
I took the full 12 weeks and that’s not long enough. I would have loved to stay home for 6 months. Not just for baby bonding and baby needs/but hormonally I wasn’t myself until 6 months along. I would have made for a better employee instead of just a body behind a desk.
I envy countries that give a full year.
Agreed, it’s not a vacation, though I’m so grateful I was able to do the full 12 weeks, you typically burn through all your pto/sick time in the process and believe me, when your infant starts daycare is when you need that sick time! I’ve been really lucky but that’s rare, hoping we won’t have to have this conversation in 20 years. Hoping my boys, should they choose to have children, will have a full paid paternity leave (and obviously a maternity leave for mom)🤞🙏🙌
Her daughters are adorable and she does seem so happy. I want that cute, white, V neck t shirt.
I’m taking leave right now and I’m not protected by FMLA. I found out I was pregnant the day I signed new hire paperwork. I basically got a promise that they won’t fire me.
I also cringe to think of the money I’m missing out on, that we are fine without, but could go towards savings for something, like retirement, or when we have to replace a car.
As someone without kids and not intending to have any, it can honestly be hard on me when I have to back up someone on maternity leave. BUT it should stay and should be mandatory. We have to support working mothers, it doesn’t make sense to take that time with their newborn away and not let them recover properly.
I hear you Alexandria. I also have no children and never intend to. I have had to take on additional duties for 2 women on maternity leave. It is a bit of a burden but I agree that maternity leave is a must. I support it even if it places me in a bind with my workload. I support women and their choices so maternity leave is something I support too.
I don’t know. I think workplaces should hire temporary workers to take over for those on maternity leave. It’s not fair that others should have to do double the work and not be paid extra because a co-worker wanted to have a child. Sorry but the whole system is flawed.
I am in Canada and I had the paid 18 months leave. I couldnt take it because I am the breadwinner and the pay was quite low compared to my actual salary. I went back at 8.5 months and even then I didnt feel ready. I so wanted to stay back and continue enjoying the summer as a family. I cannot imagine how women go back at 4 months and less. 🙁
I swear if I didn’t know the story, I’d think Haley was her bio child! Those smiles! Love this.
I am lucky enough to work for an amazing company that pays for 16 weeks. I know that many women are not lucky enough to have that and I am incredibly grateful. With that said, around the 8 week mark I was starting to go crazy and was so ready to go back to work. I think what Hoda said was right. You should take your full maternity leave if that’s what you want and you should never feel any kind of pressure to shorten it.
You also need to listen to your own voice. I love my daughters more than anything in this world and would do anything for them. I was thankful for the time I got to spend at home with my youngest. I was ready to work again though and I don’t regret that decision. There are no right answers when it comes to motherhood. You have to do what works for you and your family.
i love hoda stories. she is joyful and it makes me happy to read about. that is all!
I’m in US,and was guaranteed the 12 weeks,unpaid.I worried my entire pregnancy about money -or the lack of money when I would be on leave.We were fortunate to have had a savings set aside,it was supposed to go toward investing,home repairs,anything,preferably not touched.I had to use it as I stopped working at 8 months pregnant,went back at 8 weeks after her birth,and quit after about 2 months,it was too much for me.
We expect too much of ourselves and that’s sad.
Why in the world the US can’t get on board with giving 6-12 months is beyond me,adding stress to pregnancy and motherhood is not good.
I had a co worker who had to accrue vacation time (could not use sick time) to use on her maternity leave. And since there is a cap on it (use it or lose it by your anniversary), she had to file for long term leave at half her pay (and that is some that we had to pay for, not part of our package). So, there was a mass email going around to use if we wanted to offer any vacation time to her.
No. Just. No.
Everything about how this country treats women is wrong.
“I don’t know if my kids will remember it, but … I will always remember.” What a lovely sentiment.
It’s difficult to read all the above posts where US women feel like we have to be exceedingly grateful for 3-4 months, interspersed with non-US mothers who can’t believe that we would have to go back after just 4 months. My first child I got 14 weeks but only half of that was paid, and it was disability pay at 80%. My second child I too was “grateful” to be fully paid for 3 months. My company has since gone to 4 months, fully paid, for all parents, regardless of gender or whether they call themselves the “primary parent.” And we think we’re the freaking bees knees for this policy and get tons of positive press for it. 4 lousy months. Needs to be at least 6. I tried to watch Workin’ Moms on Netflix and immediately had to shut it off when I realized it was set in Canada and she was returning after a year. I just… I get it, it’s hard to go back for anyone, at any time, but I just knew that experience was not at all going to relate to me being at work, having to buy a third set of clothes because I still had 25 lbs of baby weight and giant nursing boobs, going to work in the morning after being up every 2 hours all night, pumping every 2 hours at work, LEAKING…
TQB – my heart goes out to you and “bravo” to you – especially the part about pumping at work. I am in Canada and had a year of maternity leave but now you can take 18 months. Breastfeeding is often challenging for mums but having a decent, humane amount of time for mat leave certainly makes it easier. The article referred to Hoda’s time as a “gift” — far from it. America, get with the times and move forward like all other industrialized countries.
My kids were all born in the UK and I had the going rate of one year with each. I was lucky enough to work for an employer who topped up the mandatory mat pay, meaning I was very, very close to my full pay for the entire time. I used KIT (keep in touch) days sporadically throughout the leave if I was needed for any sort of training and was looped into what was happening by my boss regularly. I was lucky enough to work for the same employer for all my pregnancies and it was a huge employee retention perk. They even had partially subsidized, on site nursery and designated pumping/feeding rooms with locked fridges. We were so loyal because they valued our families and valued us as employees while on mat leave. While these perks cost them money, in return they had employees who were able to be super productive during work hours. Every single time I read stories like this, I feel so incredibly privileged and grateful for what I had. I am forever in debt to that employer and the UK for allowing me that time to grow my family without fearing for my job or income. I only left because we moved to Canada or I’d still be working there! Even hearing about the maternity standard in the US makes me feel unwell.
Wow 12 weeks. Companies in the US need to step up that’s crazy. My company does 6 months full pay and no one comes back for a year and believe you get 60% of your salary for the last 6 months.
That’s how it is in Australia too. I have friends who’ve had three kids and haven’t been back to when in 5 years and their positions are still there for them. I am actually an American expat and am fortunate enough to be able to stay home full time. But I felt so bad for a friend of mine who had a baby two days before me and was back at work 12 weeks later. I had barely left the house by then. There’s absolutely no way I would have been emotionally prepared for that. The US is just appalling in that regard. It’s so sad.
I love her comment on “work-at-home moms.” It’s definitely more accurate.
It’s inhumane. I think American society would have healthier adults if they had more bonding time with their family as infants and children.
Not criticising the parents. AT ALL. It’s the systems that are f*cked.
Grateful we have one year mat leave in Canada (with partial pay), but even that is not enough. We should have the choice to take another year any time before they start kindergarten.