Heather Mills makes daughter listen to Beach Boys, not Beatles

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A “Heather Mills is a bitch” story always makes my day a little better. Mostly, I love these stories because I know that in Heather’s mind, she’s always a saint, an icon of generosity, honesty, humanity, and all that is good in the world. I’m sure in Heather’s mind, she’s never done anything wrong – she is always the victim, trod-upon, yet tough and resilient, able to overcome what turns out to be her personality disorder.

Over the weekend, Heather attended a polo match in Bridgehampton, and she decided to tell People Magazine all about her daughter with Paul McCartney, five-year-old Beatrice. Some of what Heather says is really cute – Beatrice is a good dancer, and all of the kids at Beatrice’s summer camp try to copy her little English accent. But Heather also dropped the word that Beatrice’s favorite album is the Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds. Gah! Beatrice doesn’t even get to listen to her dad’s band. Well, we don’t know that for sure. Pet Sounds is a good album. But I’d rather listen to The White Album.

She may be the youngest Beatle scion at age 5, but Paul McCartney’s daughter Beatrice enjoys grooving to another legendary 1960s rock band.

“She likes the Beach Boys,” Beatrice’s mother, Heather Mills, told PEOPLE at a polo event Saturday in Bridgehampton, N.Y. Her favorite song to sing? “God Only Knows” from Pet Sounds, the classic Beach Boys album that traditionally dukes it out with the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper for the title of greatest album ever.

“She’s always been into music. It’s innate,” Mills said. “And she’s a great dancer.”

Beatrice has been enjoying a nice holiday in the Hamptons, says her mother, and getting a chance to mingle with other kids. “She tried a day at summer camp,” Mills said. “All the kids were copying her English accent, which was quite funny.”

Mills, 41, who was divorced from Paul McCartney in 2008, was in Bridgehampton for the Mercedes-Benz Polo Challenge at Blue Star Jets Field. While in the Hamptons, she’s also doing some promotion for a new vegan product line of hers.

“Even at lunch today, at the Southampton Beach Club, the people sitting next to me were having cow’s milk,” she said. “So I said, try soya. It’s better for you. And I brought them a little care packet.”

[From People]

Oh. My. God. Heather “brought them a little care packet”! She’s so considerate, isn’t she? So benevolent! Heather continued her little soliloquy saying, “The people were so grateful that I gave them the splendiferous gift of soy milk – from my own teats, mind you, which I wrapped up in recycled birthday paper with a soy bow – that they told me what everyone always tells me, that I will win a Nobel Peace Prize one day, because everybody tells me I deserve it.” And then Heather farted, and it smelled like honeysuckle. “Pardon me,” Heather said, embarrassed, yet resilient.

Here’s Heather and Beatrice working together to put the finishing touches to her new Vegan café on June 27th. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.

 

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19 Responses to “Heather Mills makes daughter listen to Beach Boys, not Beatles”

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  1. Praise St. Angie! says:

    “And then Heather farted, and it smelled like honeysuckle.”

    brilliant.

    alright, I’m going to say it…I only reserve this word for the worst of the worst, and she’s it.

    CUNT.

  2. Bill Hicks is God says:

    Just to clarify, Pet Sounds is one of Paul McCartney’s favourite albums and the record was heavily influential in the Beatles’ later work.

    So while Heather Mills is an absolute twat, and I’m sure her daughter would rather smear caca in her ears than listen to Heather Mills, we may wanna apply some credit here that at least the child is being exposed to music her father loved and that ultimately changed the direction of The Beatles entirely.

  3. photo jojo says:

    Oh yes, I totally believe that the people lunching next to her at the Southampton Beach Club were enjoying their meal with a nice cold glass of milk. I call shenanigans on that little gem.

  4. Risa says:

    “…from her own teats….”

    LMFAO!!!!

  5. crash2GO2 says:

    More like cow’s cream in their White Russian. Wrested from the cow while it screa….erm…munched on hay. Poor old cow. Beastly.

  6. mollination says:

    Without having read the article – just the title – I think that could be construed as child abuse….or mal-musical education….or something. It’s effed up is what it is.

  7. Marianne says:

    I don’t think that will make much of a difference. Beatrice will hear a lot of The Beatles for the rest of her life, especially considering how popular her dad is. People will ask about him everywhere and obviously, she’ll listen to his music very frequently. And God Only Knows happens to be Paul’s favorite song. Or in his own words, a song he wanted to write himself, but Brian Wilson got there first.

  8. Firestarter says:

    Iaf she would have told me to try “soya” I would have told her to mind her own effing beeswax and to take her care package and shove it.

    (I am not normally that mean, but I cannot stand this woman)

  9. moo says:

    What a name dropper… couldn’t she just say at lunch today, etc.? She HAD TO say where???? Furthermore, if some stranger told me whatever was better than what I had, I would tell them to mind their own fucking business!

  10. tasteT says:

    Lord, I bet she is a mean mama, she looks its..

    I wonder how much child support she gets..you never see Paul with her..

    I am sure Heather runs a tight ship.

  11. whatever says:

    Love the write-up Kaiser. Very funny!
    God, how you can NOT listen to the Beatles? Their music (except the White Album, maybe?) is so kid-friendly.

  12. blind item reader says:

    @Bill Hicks is God: THANK you. I was going to say the same thing.

  13. Aussie says:

    Soy is a scam, it comes from the dregs of the vegetable oil industry. Vegetable oil and canola oil should not be consumed by humans. Soy causes thyroid problems in women, which has become an epedemic, due to smart soy advertising.

  14. Jen says:

    ah well I’m looking forward to the teenage years when the child rebels and instead of listening to heavy metal listens to NOTHING but the Beatles

  15. british bitch says:

    Poor Heather, it can´t have been easy being married to the narcisstic drunken spliff-smoking tight as arseholes old bastard Paul.

  16. lyra says:

    Can you imagine having Heather Mills as your mother? ACK.

  17. River says:

    Hmm. Question: How can you tell the difference between cow’s milk and soy milk when you cannot taste or smell them? For appearance sake, they’re pretty similar, no?

    So, I call BS on this, too.
    And now I’m going to go have a nice big glass of milk. Cow’s milk. Excuse me.

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