Remember that moving crap Paris Hilton spouted on Larry King Live in her exhaustive and super-boring first interview after her life-changing 23 day jail sentence? I was actually impressed by it, and wrote up a post in which I praised her for coming up with something original and looking like she was genuinely affected by jail for about 5 minutes. It was the highlight of an otherwise boring interview, and Paris seemed to step out of her everyday flat affect momentarily to exhibit what looked like actual emotion.

Here’s what she wrote, and I thought it was so nice I transcribed it from the video back them because I’m a sap like that:

The say when you reach a crossroad or turning point in life it really doesn’t matter how we got there, but what we do next after we get there. We usually arrive there by adversity, and it is then, only then, that we find out who we truly are and what we’re truly made of. It’s a process, a gift and a journey [sighs] and if we can travel it alone, although the road may be rough at the beginning, and find the ability to walk it, a way to start fresh again. It’s neither a downfall nor a failure, but a new beginning.

– I just felt like this a new beginning for me, just being in jail, and I just used it as a journey to figure out myself and who I am and what I want to do, and there’s just so much more to me than what people think.

[Transcribed from the video available on YouTube.]

All of you who commented on it were less naive than me, and said it was written by someone else. Here’s my favorite comment from zadzi:

A ghost writer wrote that shit. I do not believe this little wart has so much as an inkling of conscience.

Of course you guys were right. A 43 year-old fan claims she sent the letter to Paris in prison and she’s considering suing her because she’s pissed that her words were jacked like that and passed off as Paris’ own:

As if David Letterman grilling her wasn’t enough. Now Paris Hilton is accused of passing off fan mail she received in prison as her own poetry! Judi DeBella, 43, claims she wrote the words Paris recited on Larry King Live. She’s waiting to see if Paris has been reformed by jail time before deciding whether she will sue.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, October 15, 2007]

That woman isn’t waiting to see if Paris is reformed, she’s trying to figure out along with her lawyer if she has a case against Paris or not and can prove she wrote it. I hope she copied it and sent it certified mail.

No wonder Paris’ jail diaries were never published – she didn’t write anything worthwhile while she was “battling claustrophobia” in that cell. She had to rip off someone else’s writing just to have a snippet to read on television.

As for Paris’ progress post-jail, she’s been partying a bit, but she has also been seen out at more charity events and seems to have changed a little. She’s no Mother Teresa despite an offer to play one in a Bollywood film, but she says she’s going to visit Rwanda for some good PR. It’s something. She’s still a vapid twit, but I can’t really hate her for some reason.

Paris is shown celebrating her sister Nicky’s 24th Birthday at LAX Nightclub at the Luxor Hotel in Vegas on 10/5. Thanks to PRPhotos.