'09
I’m just going to start this off by saying there are some perverts at Disney. Not everyone – probably. But enough of them. Remember that penis castle on the “Little Mermaid” cover art? That is not Photoshop ladies and gentlemen, it’s legit. I’ve got the same cover on the original VHS clamshell tape case for my second grade copy. Now Snopes says this is just urban legend, but the drawing is in fact legit. The urban legend is just that a disgruntled illustrator did it on purpose. Apparently it was accidental or whatever. Then there’s the whole thing with the word “sex” appearing in a cloud of dust in “The Lion King” – which seems to be legit. And the picture of a topless woman in “The Rescuers” – which even Snopes admits is true. So I’m just saying, there are some perverts at Disney. And some of them are clearly still employed there, though displaying their predilections in a much more subtle fashion.
A few months ago I wrote a story about how Disney is trying to stick their brand all over healthy food like fruits and vegetables and eggs instead of Chicken McNuggets (yums) and McDonald’s legendary flat hamburgers. My favorite are the High School Musical avocados. I bought a bag the other day, and I swear the taste of a nice creamy avocado combined with the face of Zac Efron was positvely delightful. Slap some Laughing Cow on a cracker and you’ve got one heck of a snack.
So Disney said they were planning on rolling out a bunch of other healthy items to lure in the kiddies. The Washington Post suggested a Hannah Montana banana. Genius, right? Unfortunately Disney discarded that perfectly clever – and super marketable – idea, in favor of Hannah Montana cherries. Red, ripe cherries from the 16-year-old who just did a pole dance on an ice cream cart the other day.
And I bet you didn’t know she had more than one! Seriously, Disney is the wrongest wrong of all the wrongs. Chris Hansen needs them to put down that iced tea and have a seat….
In future news, Hannah Montana’s red cherries have sold out! The entire stock was bought by a man named Mark McLeod-Cyrus [Miley’s stalker].
[From Dlisted]
It’s obviously possible this is all innocent. But my point by going over Disney’s perv history is showing there’s a chance it isn’t, too. I mean think of all the other fruits and veggies out there. Why not bite into a nice Hannah Montana kiwi? Or a nice bowl of organic blueberries? I guess there could be some inherent problems with the banana idea, but they’re all still preferable to cherries. And think how many brands Disney has to promote. How did this particular combination seem like the best way to go?
Last night I made the loveliest Donald Duck mashed cauliflower. I was a little disappointed by the finished dish – it tasted like it had no duck in it whatsoever. The only flavor I could detect was some nasty cruciferous vegetable. But clearly Disney’s plan is working, because here we are talking about it – and eating it. Now if only I had some pitted fruit to munch on.
Written by JayBird
Posted in Disney, Food, Miley Cyrus
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27 Responses to “Hannah Montana Cherries - inappropriate, or an innocent way to get kids to eat fruit?”
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Awww, how cute, they both have the same highlights!
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I can’t decide if they’re the perverts or we’re the perverts for seeing it that way?
Bah.
Frankly, I don’t want her on anything.
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billy ray looks so douchey.
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Alright, I am not a native speaker and I don’t get it. What do I miss? What’s so wrong with the cherries?
I would have thought the banana as to be more “offensive”, if any fruit is to be considered that way.
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Seriously, WHO is handling this child’s career?? Nude photos, pole dancing, peddling pedophilic fruit…
What are the odds this kid will be knocked up in 2 years?
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Sarah - when a girl loses her virinity the slang in this country is “she’s popped her cherry”. Its pretty common for teens to use that phrase so its pretty inappropriate for Hannah Montana’s Cherries to be up for sale. Lol.
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Maybe I just have a dirty mind, but there must be some innuendo in there in creating this product.
Sarah, “cherries” have many sexual connotations in American English. It most often means a vagina in vulgar slang.
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Actually a cherry is slang for hymen. So the implication is that Hannah Montana is a virgin - even more appealing to pedophiles than a child that has already been used and abused. Disney should know better. What a scandal it would be if pedophilia took Disney down. Millions of jobs would be lost and it would have an affect world-wide. You can be sure that lots of things have happened that have been swept under the carpet or people have been paid off.
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popping your cherry is losing your virginity Sarah thus the questionable fruit choice.
one one hand, it irks me to no end with this marketing yet….ugh,…my four year old will eat Dora broccoli without any coaxing so….eh
as for cherries and miley….bad call…just bad.
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omg i was flipping channels the other day and passed disney. some cartoon was on and it looked like some cutesy spacey sci-fi thing. well the dialogue went something like this:
guy:…i’ll handle the thrusters
girl: let me know when your coming!ummmmmm…perverted writers???
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xD this is amazing! so dirty! im gonna go buy some disney fruist and veggies!
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yay, today is friday and here i am getting my friday laughs reading about miley’s cherry popping. rofl.
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Are people really falling for this sort of marketing ploy? How much extra do you have to pay for a Disney fruit compared to a ‘normal’ one??
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By the way, there is also Hannah Montana string cheese, cereal, granola bars and juice boxes. None of them are allowed in my home. We’ve been on a Hannah Montana blackout for about a year now, and it is AWESOME.
The only time we lifted that ban was so my 14-year-old could purchase a HM T-shirt and deface it as part of a social studies project.
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MSat, YOU are awesome. Too bad you can’t be raising the majority of teenagers in this country. You are a great parent, showing your kids the way the world really works.
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Thanks to everyone who introduced me to the second meaning of cherry. LOL! I had really no idea…
Now, I see it and it’s indeed rather malworded from Disney. Gosh, don’t they have some slnag-knowing native speaker around to prevent such stunts?? Unbelievable…
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Can anyone else see themselves in the produce isle with their daughters and after calmly trying to tell them NO! Not buying the Miliey Cherries finally loosing their cool and saying
“We are NOT buying that hobags cherries!! PUT THEM DOWN!”
Seriously.. between the MOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOMOM and the Miley Cherries.. SYSTEM OVERLOAD! LOLOLOL
Oh Disney what in the hell are you thinking?????
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Sweet niblets!!!
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Woow! You gotta be kidding me. First she’s pole dancing then there’s this about the cherry?
I really don’t get the cherry thing but i do find the banana more offensive!
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If you look at cherries and see a sexual connotation because there’s a 16 year old girl on the package- you have deep seated issues and need professional help.
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Well said, Hieronymous Grex!
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Give me a break, people! Cherries and bananas as sexual fruits?! Sure, people may think that, but THEY are the perverts, NOT the people selling them. You people must have very dirty minds to assume just because it’s Hannah Montana that it HAS to be sexual and perverted. I guess we should stop eating cucumbers, too. Some people use them in sexual ways, too. GET OVER IT!!
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Would you guys stop hating her? I mean come on, even Miley thinks this is crazy.
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It is not the people at Disney who are perverted. It’s this sick society that we live in where there is always someone lurking around the corner to make an innocent healthy program into something sexual. If they had done bananas I’m sure many would have found a sexual connotation in that as well or a cucumber or zuccini! Grow up people!
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salut je suis fane de toi inpeu comme tout le monde mes bon mdr jai ate de te voir en concer et jespere ke tu passera en france tien je te donne mon adresse msn comme ca on poura parler et tu me dira si tu passe en france ok allor mon adresse sais claire_du59300@hotmail.fr
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je t’aime je t’aime et je t’aime a mourire
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omg you have got to be kidding me hahahahahahahahahahaha….
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