Ryan Adams breaks his silence: ‘All I can say is that I’m sorry. It’s that simple’

Musician Ryan Adams attends Hollywood Gala celebrating Capitol Records 75th Anniversary on November 15, 2016 in Hollywood, California.

In February 2019, the New York Times published an exposé about Ryan Adams. Many gossip-watchers had always had a bad feeling about Ryan Adams, especially in regards to his marriage to Mandy Moore. Mandy was included in the NYT exposé, but the Times also spoke to other women who had been in Adams’ orbit over the years, professionally and personally. Their stories were similar, in that they revealed a man who was emotionally abusive, domineering, controlling and manipulative. Mandy basically spent years crawling out of his suffocating emotional abuse, and he’s screwed over countless women in their careers and personal lives. At the time, Ryan offered some vague denials but he never really came out and said everybody was lying. Now, a year and a half later, Ryan Adams has something to say.

Ryan Adams has issued a public apology over a year after he was accused of harassment and emotional abuse by multiple women. In an essay for the Daily Mail and verified to PEOPLE by Adams’ attorney Andrew Brettler, the musician, 45, apologized for his past actions, saying that “there are no words to express how bad I feel about the ways I’ve mistreated people throughout my life and career.”

“All I can say is that I’m sorry,” the singer wrote in his essay, which was published on Friday. “It’s that simple. This period of isolation and reflection made me realize that I needed to make significant changes in my life. I’ve gotten past the point where I would be apologizing just for the sake of being let off the hook and I know full well that any apology from me probably won’t be accepted by those I’ve hurt. I get that and I also understand that there’s no going back.”

Adams said that while his apology will “seem like the same empty bulls—” to a lot of people, he said that “this time it is different.”

“Having truly realized the harm that I’ve caused, it wrecked me, and I’m still reeling from the ripples of devastating effects that my actions triggered,” he shared. “There is no way to convince people that this time is truly different, but this is the albatross that I deserve to carry with me as a result of my actions. Realizing the consequences of my actions, I took a hard look inwards and sought to find the truth behind them. I made a promise to myself that no matter what it took, I would get to the root of these issues and finally start to fix myself so I could be a better friend, a better partner, and a better man overall.”

The “Heartbreaker” singer also wrote that “no amount of growth will ever take away the suffering I had caused.”

“I will never be off the hook and I am fully accountable for my harmful behavior, and will be for my actions moving forward,” he said. “In my effort to be a better man, I have fought to get sober, but this time I’m doing it with professional help. Sobriety is a priority in my life, and so is my mental health. These, as I’m learning, go hand in hand. But I will not bore anyone with stories of my demons or use them to excuse what I’ve done. I really want to express that I’ve internalized the importance of self-care and self-work. I’m really trying.”

“I hope that the people I’ve hurt will heal,” Adams shared. “And I hope that they will find a way to forgive me.”

[From People]

I’m not giving him a cookie for going away for more than a year or for giving a thorough apology, but I do think that is a better way to handle it than some of the other examples we’ve seen. I wish like hell that some of the other abusers and trainwreck men would have done something similar when they were outed, you know? Go away, come back more than a year later and apologize. It doesn’t make Ryan Adams a good guy or anything. In fact, it’s just a reminder (like we need another reminder) of how much men get away with in real time and how they know they’re being terrible but it takes a f–king global Me Too movement and multiple victims coming forward to change anything. Also: he seems to be blaming his manipulative bullsh-t on his alcoholism?

Mandy Moore has spoken about Ryan’s apology! She says she’s surprised that Ryan would apologize publicly but not privately.

Ryan Adams

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red.

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11 Responses to “Ryan Adams breaks his silence: ‘All I can say is that I’m sorry. It’s that simple’”

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  1. paranormalgirl says:

    Good for Mandy Moore. She is correct in being curious about his approach to an apology. A public apology done without any private amends is performative. it’s that simple.

    • Mtec says:

      Yeap! 100%

      Also: “ he seems to be blaming his manipulative bullsh-t on his alcoholism?”
      —that’s honestly how I see it too. I wrote this somewhere else as well, but in my opinion, in the cases i’ve seen, all intoxication/addiction does is disinhibit abusers to perpetrate the abuse—basically it emboldened him to do what he did. A sober version & sober moments of an abuser is still not the opposite of an intoxicated one, if that makes sense.

      Manipulators like him know exactly what to say. Not giving him props for public words. He groomed a child, destroyed the careers of many young women in the industry; one who even stopped pursuing a music career altogether because of his actions (she was just a teen at the time). No amount of words will ever correct that.

      I wish his victims could get reparations from the emotional, sexual, and psychological trauma he caused them, and for the years and careers he stole from them.

      I for one do not accept what looks to me like a very self-serving apology.

  2. Marietta58 says:

    I’m so glad Mandy got away from him and is happy now. As for this douche, just because you’re an alcoholic doesn’t mean you can blame your shi**y behavior on your disease.

    He should have apologized to Mandy in private prior to the public apology. The fact that he didn’t just shows who he really is.

    • justwastingtime says:

      And AA has a step for making amends so there is that..

      The best thing about that little pathetic jealous talent abuser is that I got to know Phoebe Bridgers music sooner than I may have otherwise… I have never bought an album of his but I have bought three of hers including a collaboration and the awesome album that just came out. If you haven’t had the pleasure, strongly recommend it.

  3. lucy2 says:

    Mandy handled that perfectly, and she’s right.
    That said, I do hope he’s sincere, and does make changes, and if possible, amends. I’d rather see someone do that than deny it, and continue to be abusive. It won’t make up for those he hurt previously, but maybe it will keep him from hurting more people in the future.

    • Tiffany says:

      Mandy Moore continues to be a better person than me because my response to the question would have has so many expletives I am pretty sure I would have gotten banned.

  4. snerak says:

    Look at his statement and count how many times he says “I”, “me”, “my”, “I’m” or some other iteration of the same. His statement is all about him. He only references others and his affect on them to continue to talk about himself. He is also bringing up red herrings to blame for his actions like his previous lack of sobriety and his new focus on mental health. This is not the statement of a man that has actually taken responsibility for how he has harmed others in any way whatsoever.

  5. Ashley says:

    He sounds like my ex, and no I didn’t believe his bullsh— either. I wrote a post on my blog about my ex. He came back two month’s later (after having spent one month being an ass and calling me a liar), saying he was so sorry, he had reflected during lockdown and he was changing. Do you know why he was saying those things? Because he meant it? Because he’s actually remorseful? No, because he claims companies were finding the article and weren’t giving him interviews. Because at the end of the day guys like this don’t change. They’re always just about themselves. I never took down the post. You shouldn’t treat people badly and then cry when people find out about it. You’re only upset that people know the truth, not upset by your crappy actions towards another person.

    I don’t know at what point men can ever believably change, if they ever can, but I don’t believe Adams. He’s probably losing money and that’s why he’s begging. Just like my ex, his apology is all about saving him, not actually feeling sorry.

    And I wonder what Parker Posey has to say to this? She dated him for a long time back in the day.

  6. Becca says:

    The fact that his apology came by way of the Daily Mail tells me he’s learned absolutely nothing.