Coley Laffoon responds to ex-wife Anne Heche: You’re so mean!

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Earlier this morning, CB did some great, intensive coverage of Anne Heche’s appearance on The Late Show last night. Anne was… well, crazy. Let’s go with that. She called her ex-husband Coley Laffoon a “lazy ass” and said that she waited to have a baby with James Tupper, the man she began “dating” when she was still married to Coley, “until I met a man that deserved having a baby. And I met James Tupper and I just thought he was such a wonderful dad to Homer that he deserved one of his own, you know?” She claimed that all Coley did for a living was “go out to the mailbox and he opens up the little mailbox door and goes, ‘Oh! I got a check from Anne! Oh! I got a check from Anne! Yay!” CB said it best by calling Heche a “nasty, bitter, borderline functional person who would like nothing more than to publicly malign her ex husband.” Well done.

Now Anne’s ex Coley is responding. I know I should be on this guy’s side because Anne is such a bitter, ridiculous, whackadoodle headcase, but Coley’s statement to Us Weekly made me laugh. He sounds like a tool. He whines about how he just came home “from showing two different clients two different condominiums” and he basically calls Anne a big meanie and a bully. Giggle. They’re like children.

Anne Heche’s ex Coley Laffoon is firing back after she called him a “lazy ass” on Wednesday’s Late Show With David Letterman.

“After coming home from showing two different clients two different condominiums, I was disturbed to see Anne taking out her personal frustration on the father of her child on national television,” Laffoon, 35, an employee with Los Angeles real estate company Hilton & Hyland, tells Usmagazine.com in an exclusive statement.

On Letterman, Heche, 40, complained about the $3,700 per month in child support she gives Laffoon for their 7-year-old son, Homer.

“He goes out to the mailbox and he opens up the little mailbox door and goes, ‘Oh! I got a check from Anne! Oh! I got a check from Anne! Yay!’” she sardonically told Letterman.

Laffoon, who filed for divorce in February 2007 after five years of marriage, also responded on his Facebook page, writing: “I wish Anne Heche could see that public bullying isn’t good for the soul or positive for her child. It’s mean.”

[From Us Weekly]

Dude… chuckle… okay, he needs to hire a publicist, because that’s a terrible statement. If Coley had wanted to come across as sympathetic, he could (and should) have said something like, “It’s unfortunate that Anne felt the need to belittle me, but I won’t do the same. I will always love and respect her as the mother of our child, and I hope in he future she will show me more respect.” If he wanted to come across as hardcore, he should have just issued this statement: “Bitch is crazy. I’m filing for sole custody as we speak.” Why don’t these people ever ask me for help? I’m here to serve you, Coley!

Here are Coley and Anne during happier times in 2005. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

 

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23 Responses to “Coley Laffoon responds to ex-wife Anne Heche: You’re so mean!”

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  1. Praise St. Angie! says:

    Kaiser, you should def have a job as someone’s spokesperson.

  2. Firestarter says:

    I love how he has to mention he had been out showing two condos.

    Like Kaiser said, either take the high road and make a classy, sane statement or be tough and tell it like it is.

  3. Iggles says:

    Yea, his response is laughable. But it’s obvious Anne likes to be with men she can control then rails on them for being “wimpy” afterwards.

    Good luck James! You’ll need it! This woman is crazy so there’s no way in hell that your marriage is gonna last..

  4. JustMe says:

    I forsee another “wandering through the desert talking about aliens” bout for Heche.

    I despise her. And he’s a moron.

  5. Eileen Yover says:

    Well you have to take account that he was married to her so he can’t be the brightest bulb in the box that’s for sure. She’s nuts! I loved her as Vicky and Marley Hudson in Another World…but she is a huge mess of crazy. She’s probably not even aware of how awful she came off on Letterman she’s so far gone.

  6. Eileen Yover says:

    One more thing-Is it just me or does Coley Lawhatever look like Dean McDermott??

  7. Leni says:

    Just watched the clip. Wow. You know I wish I had watched the whole thing last night. It is one of those train wreck things-you just cannot look away. Wow.

  8. The Domestic Goddess says:

    Why did he feel he had to defend himself with the remarks re showing condos? Me thinks he protesteth too much? Though I didn’t see the interview on Letterman, I mean who really cares? And apparently she’s being punished for being “nuts” to the tune of almost 4k a month. She obviously is nuts enough to go out and earn a living! I don’t care about her personal life – that’s her business. I like her as an actress and that’s good enough for me.

  9. BOGART4017 says:

    like summer vacation—(wait for it)
    no class!!!!!

  10. Giz says:

    She’s wacked and he needs to just shut-up!

  11. Brutus says:

    I’m with Anne, he’s a parasite who needs to go get a job and take care of his child.

  12. Linda says:

    I saw the show last night, the bitch is crazy….I am sure Ellen is happy to have gotten rid of that arse in time…the guy she’s with now must not be much of a man,,,,,,tio be with something like her?? Jesus help us!!

  13. gg says:

    Yeah, love the protestations – but, but but I took two different people to two different places! Not like ONE person to two places! I have TWO clients!

    Something’s rotten in denmark.

  14. Ally says:

    Given that Anne Heche shagged her way to the top (Steve Martin, Ellen Degeneres) she really should not be throwing stones in that particular glass house.

    So the guy is out of showbiz? He should be ashamed? I thought his statement was personal without the PR BS vibe. She just came out looking like a jerk instead of crazy for a change.

  15. Seth says:

    That man? needs to show some pride and get a job and take care of his child instead he thinks Anne Heche is his mommy/sugar mommy. Where’s the Manly pride?

  16. House mouse says:

    “I’m with Anne, he’s a parasite who needs to go get a job and take care of his child.”

    +1 So may husbands are lazy, laying in front of a TV and checking their emails and last news. At least, someone said it. Anne is strange sometimes but she has the courage to say it publicly. maybe it will shake all men tht recognize themselves in this bitter portrait, before their wive walks away with another man, less “lazy ass”.

  17. Tantipanini says:

    Professional pretender, part-time lesbian, molested and infected with herpes by her gay Baptist minister dad, self-proclaimed “daughter of God, half-sibling of Christ”…

    What do you expect her to say- “Coley’s doing great, thanks for asking”?

  18. Tia says:

    Anne said Ellen was the best sex she ever had, so nobody is going to live up to that. Ellen was smart enough to get the h*ll out of there, and dump her crazy ass. Poor Anne.

  19. Sarah says:

    I’d second that #1 comment. Go out Kaiser and look for a rep job! :D

  20. Christine Roulette says:

    Anne is so incredibly great, I just LOVE her! A. She is ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE! B. She is RIGHT ON! Coley is ridiculous lazy and that is an amazingly large amount of money she has to pay him! So many men, so little time; if that’s her theory and maybe so, who cares?! She is super funny and super cute. And if it works with James that’s great, their new baby and Homer are so darling! Coley dude get a job; two clients two houses; what in two months?

  21. RM says:

    Coley may be lazy, but his ex old lady is a nut!After she and Ellen split up, Anne, the super funny, super cute ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE NUT knocked on a stranger’s home in Fresno and asked to take a shower. The cops were called, and Heche babbled about God, and outer space as I recall. She and her new old man named their son Atlas! The mouthpiece representing the couple said they are ecstatic over the birth of their child. When the kid is old enough to comprehend his surroundings and his life experience on this Earth, I doubt if he will be ecstatic over being named Atlas. Coley needs a job, while his ex old lady needs to relocate to a rubber room.