Singer Maren Morris gave birth to son Hayes at the end of March. Maren’s entire postpartum has been spent in quarantine, which could be a good thing for new parents, having no pressure to do anything but bond with the baby. Unfortunately, if a new mother is experiencing postpartum depression, being confined to the home with no one to talk to would compound things. And that’s exactly what Maren said happened to her. Fortunately, she feels she’s on the other side of those horrible feelings of inadequacy. She’s speaking out to let other moms with PPD know they should reach out because there are people who can help, even during lockdown.
Maren Morris is opening up about some mental health hurdles she has overcome in the wake of her son Hayes Andrew’s arrival.
The country megastar, 30, recently chatted with CBS This Morning from her home in Nashville, Tennessee, about her battle with postpartum depression and how she is faring now as her son is about to turn 6 months old.
“I’m kind of coming through the tunnel now. I feel back to normal,” she told co-host Anthony Mason on Monday’s episode. “Fortunately, I was able to do phone therapy during the pandemic. … And [I have] people that love me around me that are like, ‘Hey, if you’re drowning right now, there’s help.'”
“You’re trying to become a new mother and good parent and do everything right,” Morris added of the drowning feeling, “and you just feel like you suck at every level.”
“And then the one thing I’ve always felt like I have a handle on is my music,” she continued. “And to not be able to tour and have to furlough my band and crew, it was just a lot.”
I know a lot of people who are reticent about phone in therapy during lockdown and I wish more people would advocate for it. It’s so important. I have one family member who is afraid the others in the house will hear them and I have no idea how to eliminate that worry. I suggested the rest of the family take a drive during the sessions, but they insist on waiting until they can go into an office. However, I don’t know if I would have thought to find call in help for PPD during quarantine if I were a new mom. I’m glad Maren is discussing it.
As for her PPD, I know it sounds silly but some of us, me included, honestly believed we’d be handed our kid for the first time and some ancient hand with goddess wisdom would press against our forehead, letting us know all the answers. I truly believed dealing with a baby would be second nature. What’s that phrase, “I was an excellent parent… until I had kids.” I know exactly what Maren is talking about trying to be a good parent (and a good spouse and daughter and friend) and feeling like, “you just feel like you suck at every level.” Even the stuff you were doing well you’re messing up. And I could see how not being able to visit other moms, casually chat with someone or even have a friend over would be so isolating.
Again, I am grateful that Maren brought this up and very happy to know she’s feeling better. I hope that has helped her process her recovery following her unintended C Section as well. If anyone is feeling the effects of PPD or any baby blues, you can contact the SAMHAS helpline to find qualified help. I also found these websites that might help your search. Or, if you are lucky enough to have health insurance, if you call in to your provider, they are generally more helpful than the online search options.
Photo credit: Maren Morris Instagram
LOVE the FaceTime therapy.
I don’t have kids so I close the door and my partner doesn’t listen, and I don’t worry about that.
Therapy is so important when you’re struggling.
I can only afford it every other week, but it helps.
I don’t have children, but reading all these interviews make me see the struggles some of my friends go through, this summer I went to a lake with a friend who had her daughter in june: we were talking and I know at a certain point I was thinking “but for FFS she is under so much pressure”, and I told her she was doing great, and she was a good mum because I had the feeling nobody told her that enough.
I’m a therapist and have been working via VC during the pandemic and all my misgivings about therapy via phone and VC have been proved wrong: it works.
God this is so important. And just talking about it releases a bit of depression-laced bewilderment. The entire process of pregnancy, learning to live with that, the countdown to birth, the birth, baby, at home with baby…… The entire thing also illicits a range of behaviors from family and friends. It’s all a perfect storm for an acute mindf@ck. Whatever you need, ask for it, do it. Scream, cry, throw something at your reflection, accept and give hugs. Nothing is too stupid, too silly, too weird, too scary, and in fact, not giving into despair (if not for the sole purpose of the journey back) could be just as detrimental as anything else.
First time commenter (long time reader) so that I could share that I had issues feeling private enough in my house to do telehealth, so now I sit in the car in the garage!! I made a joke to my therapist how I must be her weirdest client for that, and she said nope! She has 4 car clients, all for the same reason!! Works great. Definitely tell others.
My second kid was born a week after hers, and I really feel for her. Being a first time mom, dealing with PPD in lockdown must have been a very heavy load to carry. I’m managing my three year old daughter, my 5 month old son, back at work and no childcare and it is tough shit, but I knew what to expect of a needy, tiny baby you love to distraction and want to escape from at the same time. I’m glad she could get help and is feeling better. I didn’t have PPD with my daughter but it did get quite dark for me in her first months, and she was a lovely, perfectly easy baby. But being a mother is a hard thing to adjust to.
My heart goes out to her. I had a big gap between my first and second kids, and with my second, the PPD seemed to come out of nowhere. I had trouble breastfeeding him, unlike his older brother, and felt like a total failure. I sobbed in the car on the way to work after my leave was over even though he was happy and safe at home with my husband. I remember forcing myself to be cheerful and “mom” for my oldest on the way to school drop off, and then just crying. I cried in the pumping room at work. I was overwhelmed. I thought I was the worst mother ever and nothing could change my mind.
My husband finally told me I had to talk to my doctor. The diagnosis surprised me, because in my mind, I was a bad mother who didn’t do a good job with anything. My frame of mind was so completely skewed. I went on medication for about ten months and it made such a difference.
I’ve also kept up with my therapy in lockdown. I do miss going in person, though. I wish America did a better job with mental health and made resources available to everyone who needs them.
I had PPD with baby #2, and I was also socially isolated due to geographical location. I was suicidal, but felt like a failure because I knew I needed help. I finally went to GP and got meds. It really helped. I really encourage anyone who feels like this to talk to your doctor or counsellor.
Two things. First, thank goodness for telehealth!!! I’ve been doing therapy sessions that way and it’s worked out wonderfully. I’m so grateful to have that option and encourage people to give it a shot if they need help.
Second, Maren’s a local gal. Her parents are acquaintances and I’ve met her a few times. Her parents are incredibly supportive, kind people who love their daughter fiercely, and Maren is truly one of the most grounded famous folks I’ve ever met. It doesn’t surprise me that she’s speaking up; she was taught to raise her voice.
Much love and support to everyone who is struggling right now.
Great article and love the resources at the bottom
Hecate, thank you so much for this post. I’m beginning training to be a Postpartum/ Postnatal Doula. New mom’s and especially 1st time mom’s need support. There were natural supports before the “medical model” supplanted the entire process. I can’t imagine adding a pandemic into the mix.