On Monday, I was thinking about how it sounded like the British media had punched themselves out when it came to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. This past weekend was the first time in months where there wasn’t wall-to-wall royal coverage of some real or imagined controversy involving Harry and Meghan. And then on Tuesday, we learned about Meghan’s childrens’ book, The Bench, and suddenly we’re off to the races once again. The British media is mad about all of it! They’re mad that she would dare to write a book about fathers considering her own father is a toxic a–hole. They’re mad that… she might have gotten paid, and that she used her name! From the Mail:

The royal, who went by the pen name ‘Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex’, said in a statement: ‘The Bench started as a poem I wrote for my husband on Father’s Day, the month after Archie was born.

It is not known if Meghan has received an advance for the book and whether any of the proceeds will be donated to charity, but a branding expert has suggested it would have already netted her £500,000 following a ‘bidding war to secure her first venture’.

Popular culture expert Nick Ede told FEMAIL that the Duchess of Sussex would’ve likely been paid between a £250,000 to £500,000 advance to write the book. In authoring a children’s book she follows in the footsteps of fellow Royals Sarah, the Duchess of York, who has produced her own money-spinning series, Princess Michael of Kent and even Prince Charles, who penned a children’s book called The Old Man of Lochnagar in 1980 to raise money for the Children’s Trust.

[From The Daily Mail]

“…Who went by the pen name ‘Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex’…” Reader, I lol’d. That’s not her pen name, that’s HER NAME! She didn’t even use her HRH because she knew that would make people even angrier! Her name is Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex. Ugh. As for the money… again, it’s worth noting that no one even knew that Meghan had a book deal. I would imagine that she did get an advance when she signed a book contract, but anyone trying to tell you what the book deal is worth is a day late and a dollar short. I would also assume that Penguin Random House signed Meghan to a multi-book deal, which, again, LOLZ. From Katie Nicholl at Vanity Fair:

Sources close to Meghan say she has long wanted to write children’s books, and that hopes to write more books in the future if her debut is a success.

“Meghan loves writing and she’s very good at it,” said a source close to the Duchess. “She wanted to have a go at writing a children’s book first and depending on the success of this, there will be more. She is also keen to write books for adults too.”

It is not known how much Meghan’s first book deal is worth, but given her global profile she will likely have been paid a sizable advance for the book, which will be published on June 8. Random House is the first publishing company to work with the Duchess, and described the book as ‘timeless’.

“Meghan’s touching text explores the relationship between fathers and sons and undeniably tugs at the heartstrings that parents and caregivers feel,” said Mallory Loehr, EVP & Publisher, Random House Books for Young Readers Group. “Christian’s art beautifully matches the tender emotion of Meghan’s words, and every spread is infused with a vibrant sense of joy and love. The Bench is timeless—it feels destined to become one of those books that people will be reading for generations to come.”

[From Vanity Fair]

Considering her blog, The Tig, and her guest-editorship of British Vogue and her love of writing Instagram captions, I would also assume that writing books has been one of Meghan’s big goals for many years, and it’s probably a dream she’s had since before meeting Harry. I can only imagine the anger, incandescence and rage from the palaces if she tried to do this while she was still in the UK. God, every single day I’m so happy they managed to get away. Every single day, I laugh about how people on Salt Island thought Harry and Meghan would crash and burn in America.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.