Gwyneth Paltrow is having a boy and plans to name him Mortimer. No, we did not make this up:

First of all, Mortimer is a nickname Paltrow made up and isn’t even Speilberg’s real name, which is really Steven Spielberg.

Second, there’s a reason why only old Jewish men are named Mortimer - it’s a weird creepy name that is deservedly out of fashion.

We hope this rumor is false or that Paltrow changes her mind. The girl is a pompous laughing stock and she should get therapy from a non new-age source.