Caitríona Balfe is a revelation in Belfast, the film loosely based on Kenneth Branagh’s childhood in Northern Ireland during the start of the Troubles. She’s glamorous and vivacious, and yet you can tell that her character, Ma, is a big fish in a little pond and that’s just how she likes it. Balfe is very, very good in the role and she’s well-deserving of awards-season attention. Which is what she’s getting here – she covers Vanity Fair’s Awards Insider issue. This is not how I would have styled her at all. This is a moment for black-and-white photos, bouncy hair, strong eye makeup and clingy sweaters. I’m just saying, she would have looked amazing in that kind of editorial. Balfe chatted with VF about growing up in Ireland, her modeling days and a lot about Outlander. Some highlights:

Her acting career only began at 29, now she’s 42: “I feel like I’m at such an early stage in my career because I started so late.”

Moving to Paris to model at the age of 18/19: “I always just wanted to travel. Growing up, we never did that—there were too many of us. We didn’t have the money. There was something about the theatricality of the runway shows—and the event of it—that I really loved,” Balfe says. But it eventually lost its shine as she neared 10 years in the business. “For the last couple of years I was miserable, really. It’s not exactly the nicest industry or the healthiest industry.”

She works on Outlander nine months out of the year: “The beauty of this show is that it’s opened a lot of doors. The tough part about it is that we don’t have any time to really take advantage of it.”

Her baby announcement last summer surprised people: “I’m a very open person. It’s not like I was hiding my pregnancy. Everybody at work knew, all of my friends knew, anyone I came into contact with in my life knew. But in terms of putting that out there, I don’t see the value in that. I think there’s certain things that are nice to have for yourself.”

The obsessive Outlander lunatics: “When you have a kid, you become really protective. I don’t want those crazies—because that’s what they are—I just don’t want them talking about him. It’s sad, because you meet the loveliest people who are fans of the show and they’re super supportive and they do the nicest things—and then you have that little thing, which just taints it.”

On her ‘Belfast’ character: “In her own space and in this own little community, she was so confident and comfortable. But yet she was such a little girl, because you take her outside of that, and she was so scared. The outside world was so alien to her.”

She wants to direct an episode of Outlander: “It’s something I’ve been talking about doing on the show. It’s falling a little on deaf ears.” Clearly frustrated, Balfe says she hasn’t heard anything about directing in the upcoming seventh season but feels it’s unlikely at this point. “It would’ve been the perfect chance for me in a very safe space. I’m so close with all of our camera crew, and they were always having conversations about what lens they’re using and what frame it is and they’re really always super helpful in giving me as much information as I want. It’s a shame, but out of my hands.”

She understands why so many moms leave their careers: “By the time you get to a certain age, if you want to have a family at all, you end up stepping off that ladder and I think it’s very hard for them to come back in. That’s something we need to address as an industry because I look at our camera crew, all amazing guys, all of them have become fathers in the eight years we’ve been filming, but not one of them has had to give up their position.”

[From Vanity Fair]

I’m totally fine with what she’s doing here re: directing an episode of Outlander. Clearly, she’s been talking about it with the producers for years now and they continue to shrug off her requests, so now she’s putting them on blast – in a casual way – in Vanity Fair. Maybe they’ll pay more attention to her requests now. And she’s right, directing an episode of Outlander would be a great way for her to get her feet wet in directing. Tons of actors begin the transition by directing TV episodes. The episodes of Mad Men directed by John Slattery are some of my favorites!

As for the rest of it… I honestly just blanked on the fact that she was a famous and in-demand model for the better part of a decade? Where was I? Damn. I also didn’t realize that Outlander was basically her first big role. What an unconventional road she’s had.

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Cover & IG courtesy of Vanity Fair.