'09
Are there people out there in the world who really think that John Mayer is cool guy? That’s so foreign to me. Whenever I see his smug dirt-lip, I want to smack him. Whenever I hear his voice, I want to claw out my eardrums. Whenever I read something that he wrote or said, I pray to God that he (she?) would take away my literacy. So it goes with this new interview John did with New York Magazine’s Vulture column. This interview took place when John was playing host at a party at the Armani store (here for the full interview). As the Jedi master says: “The douche is strong in this one.”
Vulture: What do you think about Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize?
JM: I think it’s fantastic.I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but maybe someone else deserved it more.
Who? If you don’t know who else should have gotten it instead of Obama, I love you, you’re beautiful, but shut your f-cking mouth.What do you think about health care? Would you take the public option?
Have you ever heard me play guitar? I’m really f-cking good. You know what I’m bad at? Answering questions about public health care. This is not in my wheelhouse. Do you have any questions about music? I almost got a mad need to lighten up. You need to lighten up, because the questions you asked me were all troublemaking questions. If someone gave me the Nobel Peace Prize, and I didn’t deserve it, I would just shut my mouth and enjoy the hell out of it.Which I’m sure he’s doing.
What’s he going to do, send it back? It’s like I’m getting a wrongful bulge in my pants and everyone’s thinking I’ve got a nine-inch c-ck. I’m not going to argue with them, I’m going to let them think I have a nine-inch c-ck.How about a style question?
Yes, this seems to be apropos. Do you get paid for this?I do it more for fun.
You do this for fun? That’s like me saying … never mind.What do you think about guys with seventies mustaches?
I don’t give a f-ck about who wears their face what way. If I could grow a beard, I’d have some nutty things going on on my face.You can’t grow a beard?
It’s a pituitary thing. I know you’re not that much of a moron.These are questions my editor wanted me to ask. I’m trying to build my journalistic career here.
You’re not building a journalistic career. You’re making yourself look like a moron and you’re not a moron. Who’s your editor?Jada.
Jada is making you sound like a moron in front of people.Why don’t you tell me about your new album? You’ve been in the studio for a while.
I have a record coming out November 17.Any particular theme or inspiration behind this one that makes it different from previous albums?
Look what we’re doing right now! We’re connecting right now! This is great! Yeah, it’s going to be quite melodically bright, but the themes are all about heartbreak.How is that different? Haven’t you written a lot about heartbreak?
I think most artists do, but this is really breaking into the theme of it as a concept.Is there hope behind the heartbreak?
The melody is the hope. The lyrics are the heartbreak, the melody is the hope. If you have the lyrics being the heartbreak and the music as the heartbreak, your editor made you ask stupid fucking questions! You’re standing in front of me acting as if these questions are fair, but now we’re talking about something real. So there was stuff I wanted to put on the record that just didn’t fit the concept. So the next record will have that concept.What concept?
More political things, worldly things.Such as?
Nothing rhymed with public option.You don’t always have to rhyme, though.
I’m going to forcefully sodomize your editor.
[From New York Magazine’s Vulture Column]
Shut it, Dick-breath. If you don’t want to talk to reporters, then don’t talk to reporters. If you don’t want to answer questions, then don’t answer them. If you don’t want to promote your latest O-face album, then don’t. But please, for the love of God, don’t ever do another damn interview like that again. Too much sketchy imagery infecting my brain’s purity. Blah blah… nine-inch….blah… sodomize…GAH! Must. Bleach. Brain.
Oh, by the way… in this week’s issue, Us Weekly is reporting that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are back together. AGAIN. Discuss.
Here’s Mayer attempting his cool guy walk in Soho on Sunday. Images thanks to WENN.com .
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Gross, Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer, Stupid
- Diet secrets from Jessica Alba's nutritionist [Hollywood Life]
- Hef's twins have beautiful hair [D-Listed]
- The Twilight kids: more "Hills" than cool [Lainey Gossip]
- Ellen premieres on Idol tonight [Popeater]
- Cute photos of Anna Paquin and Steven Moyer exercising [Popsugar]
- JWoww wants bigger implants [Celebslam]
- Look at Handy Manny now [Go Fug Yourself]
46 Responses to “John Mayer is a douche, threatens to sodomize mag editor”
-
Nope, you are not the only one. Trust!
-
i think he’s too smart for a dumb reporter. what was that? why was the reporter asking him about healthcare and Obama? but as dumb as he was at least the report understood the jokes, unlike you.
-
ya know, when I first saw this guy on The Chappelle Show, I thought he had a great sense of humor about himself.
now, not so much. I guess he’s actually started to believe his own hype.
-
Wow, how did she get through it without punching this pig in the testicles?? now THAT is deserving of a Nobel Peace Prize!
-
Aw, I kinda thought it was funny. When they ask you stupid questions, really, why answer all serious? Especially when you know that all the gossips will jump for joy at another opportunity to tear a strip off you. And those first few questions were really looking to get his foot into his mouth.
The sodomy line was a bit much, I guess.
-
How cringing must Jen Aniston and her handlers be that this guy is running unchecked out there? She even went to an awards ceremony with him. She must be dying right about today. Cut to Aniston CA-RINGING…
-
I fought the return of the word ‘douchebag’ as an insult, but some people just ask for it.
As an aside, my husband ran a music club in Atlanta for several years. In all that time, he dealt with only two artists who were DB’s: John Mayer and Warren Zevon. To quote, “some people forget that the crappy midsize venues you play on the way up are the same ones you are gonna play when your career is on its way down.”
-
That was a painfull article to read. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or scream asshole!
-
this guy is so overrated. wish someone could explain the appeal to me. don’t get it at all.
-
I LOVE THAT JACKET HE’S WEARING!!!
Where do I get one???
Anyone knows? -
Of course US Weekly is going to say that. With John making a gigantic ass of himself yet again, they aren’t going to miss the opportunity to link Jennifer to him, since they LOVE her soooo much (not).
-
I’m thinking you missed the joke here. It’s on whoever took this interview seriously.
Kind of unusual for this site…
-
Good gawd he is such a dickwad asshole. Maybe that’s even too nice of a description.
-
Totally overrated and rude. Just because you think you are a big star doesn’t mean you have to make it miserable for other people to do their jobs.
Also, can I take a minute to complain about his ‘waiting for the world to change’ song. Hello, if all you’re going to do is wait then you are just part of the problem, loser.
-
The douche is strong in that one, but- he’s really fucking funny. And I appreciate people who ask the obvious questions. Because seriously- why was that fool reporter asking a musician about Obama and Health care?
No I have never listened to any of his music, and I don’t think that a 9-12 inch schlong alone makes so many women fall for a total deuce, but he’s not stupid, and I kind of like his perspective.
damn.
-
He is such a douche….can’t stand John Mayer and his idiotic lyrics which are so sad and pathetic. Ugh, he annoys me
-
Twinkle toes, Jen ran back to this guy after he dumped her, then paraded him around like a prize pig at the Oscars. So, she must have seen something she liked??? Pr? Who knows. Personally I think the guy is a douche and Aniston is a #1 dumb-ass for ever dating him. eww you’d probably have to disinfect everything after dating Mayer the player.
-
“Who? If you don’t know who else should have gotten it instead of Obama, I love you, you’re beautiful, but shut your f-cking mouth.”
This translates to, “You cannot have an opinion than differs from mine unless you can think of a reason right this very second. I’d still have sex with you, though.”
Am I the only one who gets “emotional abuser” from him? He just has this air about him and I can imagine him belittling the woman he’s with in public, calling her stupid, telling her to shut up when she disagrees with him.
-
Yea,i’ll second the emotional abuser thing. I would definitely say he has ‘issues’ with women.
-
@Alarmjaguar So true! HATE the lyrics to “Waiting on the World to Change”.
-
I used to floss my teeth with guys like him.
-
Love John, love his music, love his interviews. He’s sarcastic, irreverent, articulate, does not suffer fools lightly. When the interviewer says ” These are questions my editor wanted me to ask. I’m trying to build my journalistic career here.” Yeah, right! Please give me dumb answers to my stupid questions, so my equally stupid editor will be impressed. Honey, get yourself over to the Hills and/or the rest of those reality shows; you’ll be Einstein.
-
Kaboom, I’m sure you did. And you chose to be commenting on this blog instead of being up there being interviewed.
-
Hahaha, uh-oh everyone, seems like we hit one of Boonie’s nerves.
Also, I’m not really sure peppering phrases with variations on the word “fuck” counts as “articulate.”
And if you’re going to be an enormous dick to the person interviewing you, why even bother continuing the interview? He could have simply left if he was that disgusted with the line of questioning. But nooooo, he had to make sure to answer them all with, what did you call it?, “irreverence” to make some lame point that he thinks the interview is stupid.
Like him all you want, Boonie, but he’s still an abrasive, egotistical dick.
-
Boonie, quit being a douche.
Mayer may think he’s being funny and sarcastic and maybe in-person, you get that impression. But on paper in print, this guy comes across as a gigantic steaming pile of misogynist crap. Didn’t Jen dump him the second time because he couldn’t keep his stupid yap shut on Twitter? Obviously there was more to it than that (maybe not), but this guy has diarrhea of the mouth.
If Jen got back together with this turd, then I’m officially off the Jen bandwagon.
-
I would hate to have to do endless interview upon endless interview to market myself and my creation. However, he did choose to do this for a living and this stuff comes with the territory. Hard to imagine treating another human being that badly. Why not just terminate the interview if you don’t like the person or the questions? Why torture and abuse them? After all she’s just making a living too.
-
Kaiser please don’t hold back, stop beating around the bush, tell us how you really feel! I can’t stand him either and fail to see the appeal. He obviously thinks he is some kind of cerebral stand up comedian. If we get a choice can we just keep some other epic douche and let this one be culled from the herd? I’m open to suggestions about which epic douche we keep..suggestions anyone?
-
I’m guessing, not very many people comment on this site. I do believe, GatsbyGal and snowball, you missed the earlier comments from Princess Pea and Susan, probably because they didn’t use the word ‘articulate’. GatsbyGal, excellent points until the end; adding ‘to me’ at the end of your last statement would have kept it neutral. Snowball, calling me a douche simply negates whatever argument you may have, but, in one paragraph you go from me being a douche to Jen getting back with John, spiffy!
Can we continue? -
John sucks but the interviewer asked some very stupid questions. I’m not surprised he responded this way. He has sick, dry sense of humor.
-
@ Debbi: Warren Zevon? Really? Oh man, that gives me a major case of the sads! I love Warren & sobbed like a fool when he died… Great quote though..
As for Mayer, he is a complete & utter tool who has bought his own hype so much that he has actually become a parody of himself. Yeah, most of those questions are kinda dumb given the setting, but he since he touts himself as an intellectual, its natural that a reporter would ask him socially relevant questions.
Hes a self-important asshole who loves to hear himself talk & see his pictures in the tabs & online. And his music sucks. But, of course, its just my humble opinion. Those out there who like him: hes all yours. PLEASE take him.
-
Oh c’mon! I didn’t say anything bad!
-
Boonie, Beat it!
-
For the love of God…Kaiser, for the first 3-4 questions I read, I thought you were snarkily answering questions, in order to mock this ass. Then I realized THOSE ARE ACTUAL THINGS THAT CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH in response to honest questions. Shut up, John Mayer.
-
Who created this monster?
For sure the interviewer deserves an award for putting up with this narcissistic DOUCHE BAG. She did not deserve that jerk acting out on her while she was trying to do her job. I feel the interviewer was abused on the job.
Since when do other women support a man while he verbally abuse a women?
I felt she needed to punch that narcissistic pile of nothing!
I believe that magazine editor should be outraged as well at the threat this DOUCHE BAG issued.
I to believe this jerk really hate women and use them as tools.
This fool really believe his hype!
I understand why his old band mates are not with this lousy DOUCHE BAG any more.
I wonder how they every put up with that narcissistic clown for 1 day.
Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston have to have low self esteem for having anything to do with that low life scum!
I severely hate this guy so much now!
Glad DOUCHE BAG cleared up the fact that he has a small package for all the dumb women that fantasize about this jerk.
I caught a glimpse of jerks new video and HATE it. I really hope his CD bomb big time. He deserve to be knocked back in his place. -
he may be a douchebag, but that reporter deserved every answer she got. you can’t say you wanna build a career in journalism when you ask those kind of questions. i hope she’s young enough to be able to change her career path.
-
Who TF is John Mayer?? Never heard of him.
-
What a tool.
-
What a loser…. never liked him or the shit he calls music
-
crane, did you read the interview? Those questions were not her own.
John Mayer continues to bury himself. From mankinis to misogynist rants, the boy exposes his endearing true colors.
Blech.
-
yeah yeah…it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that john’s answers were supposedly “sarcastic” and “funny”…that’s been his schtick for awhile. but he is such a little tit that it backfires. i’m sure john thinks he is god’s gift to women, politics and music.
-
I know Susan’s awe-inspiring intellect leads her to believe she is the only one who can decipher sarcasm, but in reality it is her awe-inspiring lack of a sense of humor that allows her to be the only one who finds this funny.
We get it Susan. We just don’t think it’s funny. The reporter wasn’t dumb - john, like you, just *thinks* he’s smarter than everyone else, and thus wouldn’t answer the questions. I love that he accuses the reporter of not knowing what they’re talking about when he openly admits he doesn’t “have enough time” to follow the subjects in detail enough to speak about them.
He’s embarrassed because the reporter revealed his own ignorance and hot-buttons.
-
So he thinks he’s fucking good at the guitar. Um, no.
Duane Allman was f’cking good, Steve Vai is f’cking good. Derek Trucks is f’cking good. Kirk Hammett is f’cking good. And one for the ladies: Jennifer Batten is f’cking good.
It takes more than self-absorbed pansy music to be f’cking good.
-
“self-absorbed pansy music”! LMAO!
-
wow. you guys really missed the joke on this one. may not have been the most hilarious joke ever, but at least it was different from the usual ego-stoke interview that everyone does. i think what people can’t stand about john mayer is that he doesn’t take his celebrity as seriously as everyone wants him to. i’m sure everyone who reads/wrote this site has been a bigger jerk than he, it’s just that his life is public and he can’t be bothered to create a bland public persona. props to him, at least he’s authentic in every situation.
-
i didnt find this funny at all. who the hell does he think he is to step all over somebody’s ambitions? he seems to have forgotten that he wasnt always “John Mayer”. what an asshole. i hope that he gets interviewed by this same person when his career is in the shitter and he cant make it on his own anymore. You cant treat people like that and expect kharma to skip right over you. whoever told this guy he was funny has a horrible sense of humor.
Leave a Reply
Celebitchy aims to be a friendly, welcoming site where people can discuss entertainment stories and current events in a lighthearted, safe environment without fear of harassment, excessive negativity, or bullying. Different opinions, backgrounds, ages, and nationalities are welcome here - hatred and bigotry are not. If you make racist or bigoted remarks, comment under multiple names, or wish death on anyone you will be banned. There are no second chances if you violate one of these basic rules.By commenting you agree to our comment policy
Use the "Report this comment as spam or abuse" link to ask the moderators to delete a comment if it's offensive. If your comment disappears, it has been eaten by the spam filter. Please e-mail cbcomments at gmail.com to get it retrieved.
Get an icon next to your name by signing up for a free Gravatar
Am I the only one out there that literally hates this guy?
Report this comment as spam or abuse