In case there was ever any doubt, Doug Reinhardt is truly p*ssy whipped. Now I have random bouts of stuffiness, and don’t really care for this particular term. But the only other thing Kaiser and I could come up with to describe it was “hypnotized by the vadge,” “utterly whipped with the power of the vadge” and “hypnotized by the rotting disease of Paris Hilton’s crotch.” All Kaiser, by the way. So use whatever of those works best for you, but let it be known far and wide: Doug Reinhardt is whipped by Paris Hilton. And not in the way a lot of men are. In an extreme way that says, “Paris likes to role-play and keeps me in her dungeon.” There’s whipped, and then there’s this. This is just degrading. I never thought it was possible for me to feel any emotions whatsoever for Doug or Paris. But I truly feel badly for the guy, and I think he’s in a situation he needs to get out of.

Over the course of the weekend, Paris and Doug attended two Halloween parties. A lot of people would repeat their outfits, but not Paris. There are only so many days you get to dress up in one year, and what’s she supposed to do the other 245 days? You gotta seize the event and milk it for its maximum paparazzi potential. Naturally, Paris dressed up as sl*tty Dorothy from the “Wizard of Oz” on Friday night for a visit with Jimmy Kimmel, and as a slutty dancer (I think) the next night.

But here’s the creepy part: She made Doug dress in a nearly identical version of each outfit. And not “identical except masculine.” If there was a skirt, Doug was in a skirt. For her dancer costume, Doug was dressed as the tooth fairy – in coordinating colors. Wearing a crinoline skirt, white stockings, a wife beater with a molar on it, a headband with a big bow, and wings. For Dorothy, Doug was wearing the exact same costume. Just with the addition of a red belt (nice!) a blonde wig, and for some reason his high heels were pink instead of red. Not surprisingly, they got in a huge fight that night.

While the evening started out in a pleasant fashion, everything went downhill for Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt after leaving Heidi Klum’s Halloween party at Voyeur nightclub on Saturday night (October 31).

According to a paparazzo source, the couple then headed to another party at Roosevelt hotel in Hollywood, where they stayed for a few hours.

As the on-again/off-again pair headed back home, photographers following them saw a cell phone flying out the window on the corner of La Brea and Sunset, during which time the limo stopped and Paris jumped out of the car to find her mobile.

Our insider adds that the hotel heiress “went back to the limo with her hands empty – yelling to Doug that she wanted to kill him for throwing her cell out of the car.”

As the limo started moving again and stopped a few blocks away, photographers approached the car to find Paris slapping Doug on the back seat, with Doug finally immobilizing his lady by holding her down before friends quickly tried to block the paparazzi from witnessing the troubling domestic moment.

[From celebrity-gossip.net]

There is some seriously messed up psychology going on here. I’m not even going to try to guess what it is. It’s hard enough figuring out the deep inner recesses of someone’s psyche when they have a normal intellect. But what to you say when they’re clearly totally messed up, but it’s Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt, so there are no deep inner recesses? Whatever it is, it is f-ed up. And there is the slight possibility Doug chose to dress himself like this. But I don’t know a lot of men who like toying with their masculinity that way.

Here’s Paris’ visit with Jimmy Kimmel. The show’s crew dressed up as different characters from Sesame Street. Jimmy dressed up as Big Bird – or “Huge Bird” as Paris classically called him. See, even by the age of three she’d already stopped learning. Paris was hawking her latest line of hair and beauty products. She also brought along one of her little puffball purse dogs as Toto – this time inside a basket instead of a purse – named Marilyn Monroe. She rejected the stuffed Toto that came with the costume because her pup is “hotter and blonder.” She also mentioned that she had “like 20 different costumes custom made.” I’m going to hope she’s exaggerating and/or her number skills are failing her again, but you never know.

Audio Where’s Waldo assignment: try to listen for Paris using the word “philanthropist.” Correctly, no less!

Here’s Paris on Jimmy Kimmel on Friday night – images thanks to Mitch Haddod/ABC. Thanks to BauerGriffinOnline for the rest of the degrading Halloween photos. Note Paris’ flat dead eyes – perfect for Halloween!