Last week, Entertainment Weekly had a list of Hollywood’s smartest people. I didn’t cover it because 99% of them are executives and business folks that the majority of us haven’t heard of/don’t care about. And the other one is Ben Affleck, and I find his intelligence debatable. He dated J-Lo. Though he did leave her two days before their wedding, so I guess that shows some brain power. So while it’s great to have a smartest list, let’s be honest – what we really want to know about are the dumbest. You have to wonder – let’s say you’re at the bottom of the dumbest list – meaning you’re the smartest of the people on there. Do you think celebrities are still egocentric enough to be flattered by that? That’s like being the cutest pig at the fair. I mean sure you’re the cutest, but you’re still a pig, so there’s only so many places your life can go.

Riffing on Entertainment Weekly’s recent list of Tinseltown’s smartest people, the New York Daily News flipped the script and slapped together a list of the “Top 50 Dumbest People in Hollywood.” Top/bottom of the heap was Lindsay Lohan at number one, for lousy career choices, rampant misbehavior and bad taste in men. Hard to argue with them on any of those counts, but we’re still rooting for LiLo to smarten up now that she has sobered up.

Also predictably landing in their top five was It boy Shia LaBeouf, “honored” for that inexplicable arrest stemming from his recent nocturnal Walgreens walkabout. Let’s hope he gets it together. Both Spencer Pratt and ladylove Heidi Montag make the list, but the mister lands in the top five for…well, if you watch The Hills, there really is no reason to explain.

[From E! News]

Wondering about the top five smartest of the dumbest? Well the biggest genius is Tom Sizemore, probation violator, followed by our dear friend Joe Francis. Joe – who’s vociferously complained about the food in prison, is actually considered smarter than the next cheeseburger loving guy on the list, David Hasselhoff. The best of the worst is rounded out by Michelle Rodriguez (labeled a “public nuisance”) and Vanessa Hudgens (Disney star, nude picture poser).

You’ve got to admit, that’s a little more interesting than learning about Daniel Battsek, the president of Miramax. Sure we’re glad he’s smart and does whatever he does, but best as I can tell from my internet research, he hasn’t done jello shots off a naked male prostitute with Lindsay Lohan, so I don’t really know what else to say about him.

A surprising (at least to me) entry on the dumbest list was Jennifer Love Hewitt at number 17. After all the other people, the Daily News said something derogatory that gave you an idea as to their reasoning for calling the person dumb. My favorite was number 22, which lists “Wilmer Valderamma, actor?” Love the question mark. But nothing besides “actress” was listed for Hewitt. I’m going to assume it’s because they had some problem with her work in “Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties.” Though I can’t imagine why.