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I wasn’t physically abused, but I have been in emotionally & mentally abusive relationships. The last one I actually just said “enough” and made a clean break. We were going to a counselor and the counselor called me privately, fearing the next step was going to be physical. That’s what I had feared too and hearing the confirmation gave me the strength to say no more. But, it really does happen, a little at a time – you don’t realize it. You think “well, he says he loves me, so this must be ok.” He starts alienating you from your friends and family. It’s easier that way – gives him more control.

I was lucky, unlike you, Firestarter, and some others on here. I am so sorry you guys ever had to suffer at the hands of another. I am also sorry that you will forever be scarred from that. There really are good people out there! (I finally found my sweet prince!) But I completely understand you keeping people at arm’s length. Keep up the healing! Each day that goes by helps!

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Fire- Thanks for the kind words as well. Three things I am passionate about: Domestic Violence, Animal Abuse and Child Abuse. I go ape when I see people excusing any of the above actions, because those three groups cannot defend themselves like a man can defend himself.

It is not easy to tell the tale because like others, initially you are humiliated that it happened to you, then you get angry that it happened to you. The final stage is acceptance and moving on. I am still in the anger stage, and I just freak when I read some of the responses on here regarding this topic.

Those that give abusers a pass or the benefit of the doubt, more than likely have NEVER known abuse, regarless of what they may say. Nothing is easy when you find yourself in a mess with an abuser. To say I should have seen it coming is like saying, New York should have seen 9/11 coming. You can be the smartest, most aware person out there, and I assure you an abuser can still sneak in on you without you ever having an inkling that is the type of person they are.

I am just glad it is over for me, and like Rihanna and the other brave ladies on here, I have become wiser because of it. I have also learned to trust people less and keep people at arms length. I hope one day I will be able to be less prickly, but right now it is how I find I must deal with people to make myself feel safe.

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First of all, Firestarter, gg and the others on here who have suffered from abuse, of any kind – thank you for sharing your stories with us. It takes a lot (even anonymously) to relive what you dealt with by writing about it now. Thank you. I applaud your strength!!!

Also, wow. To those others of you who don’t seem to have half a brain – like truth, tiffay, cat….wow – I feel for you guys. Sounds like you don’t have any faults and you’ll never fall victim to abuse yourselves, huh? That’s BULLSHIT! It happens to the best of us. It starts out small and builds and builds. You don’t know what’s happening until you are so deep in it you can’t see it happening. Your views on this subject are so asinine and juvenile that I just had to say something.

@ cat – rihanna must be so PR savy that she concocted the story back in February, doctored those horrible photos, leaking them on the internet months ago and now is “conveniently” on a PR tour promoting her new album, posing as a victim. Man! What planning!! “Posing as a victim” – that is so idiotic I don’t even know how to respond. She is in fact on a PR tour promoting her new album and she is finally breaking the silence and speaking about the BEATING because she is being asked about it. She is finally talking about it to try to help other young women. What’s sad is the fact that you think she is doing it to sell records. What a huge price to pay to sell some CDs.

Oh, and Chris Brown is a piece of shit! He bit her, choked her until she passed out and LEFT her on the side of the road. And has the nerve to want her to “keep it private.” What an awesome guy to look up to!

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Adding to Firestarter’s post: Chris Brown, as a human being and NOT being a dog (allegedly – since I’m starting to doubt he has a human brain), has God-given wits enough to know not to go postal and even bite! on his girlfriend for any reason whatsoever.

So comparisons to dogs is not really workable as a guideline or talking point. Dogs are not capable of rational human thought.

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What happens when you do not “poke” the dog at all genius, and he attacks you, then what? Whose fault is it then?

It disgusts me the amount of people who think solving conflict through violence is AOK. It’s not! Take a look at our neighborhoods, schools, places of work. Saying that it is fine to hit back allows for EVERYONE to feel that fists, guns, knives, are teh way to solve a problem.

Seems to me that this country needs to be educated in ideas of protection and the proper use of force.

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If you poke a dog once and he bites you it’s probably the dog that’s the problem.

Either way, that dog’s getting put to sleep. Can’t have biters around.

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She wishes him well because well, she’s a decent chick who has realised that in order to completely put this and him behind her, she has to let go of resentment and hate, otherwise she’ll be mired in this nightmare forever. She’s got a really good head on her shoulders does Rihanna.

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