Jack Nicholson is one of those actors whose appeal I’ve never been able to understand. I think it’s the eyebrows – he has very evil eyebrows. And the sneer. Regardless, the rest of the world seems to think he’s awesome, with the exception of Anjelica Huston. The two were together for fifteen years, until Jack cheated on her in 1989 with actress Rebecca Broussard – who he got pregnant.

I was in a quandary,” Jack quietly explains to PARADE’s Dotson Rader. “I knew having a child was a boon to my life, but I was in a wonderful relationship with Anjelica. It was as good as it gets. I immediately told her what was up, and she made the decision for us.” The public presumed that Nicholson had dumped Huston for Broussard, a younger woman. The truth is the opposite. “Anjelica’s first response was, ‘You have to support this woman,’ ” Nicholson says. “Her second response was to come down to my job and beat the hell out of me. She really beat me up, I tell you. Anjelica can punch! Meanwhile, Rebecca didn’t want me to separate from Anjelica. Well, they both have good taste,” he says laughing.

[From the Huffington Post]

It takes a pretty big man to admit he got beaten up by a woman. Not that I blame her. Physical violence I never okay, but I can understand the anger. Aside from beating the crap out of Jack, it sounds like Huston handled that news in a fairly mature way – she told him to leave and support the mother of his child. Not a lot of women could be so big. Can’t blame her for wanting to hit, though.

Jack also gave an interesting analysis of women. It’s either nonsensical or over my head.

“These issues between men and women are not psychological. Look, remember what a gland is. Most of these are glandular issues. A gland is what allows that mother to lift that truck off a child. Whatever intelligent design is, it’s not going to leave the continuation of the human species up to fashion-crazy, flitting mentalities. It’s in those glands. The infatuation cycle of 18 months hasn’t changed a lot since the monkeys. Look at the numbers. Eighteen months is nine months doubled. A woman’s entire system is set so that when you’re having that procreative act with a woman, you’re dealing with a being whose actual cycle is nine months. It doesn’t have to do with her brain. It has to do with her entire bodily system, which is there to overcome the brain. We don’t legislate this stuff. We don’t out-think it. You cannot change these fundamental things that we are as human beings–but you can adjust to it.”

[From the Huffington Post]

Okay… I’m kind of confused about my glands right now. I wonder what glands Jack is referring to. I have strep throat right now and my lymph glands are swollen – do you think that could factor into my ability to lift a truck off a child right now, if I needed to? Would that make it easier or harder? I’m confused. I was trying to figure out what the hell Jack was talking about, and if he literally meant glands or was using it for some kind of a metaphor that I just can’t understand because it’s three in the morning. Based on the gland thing, Jack Nicholson is either a total moron or incredibly profound.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Anjelica Huston at the Oceana Salutes Former Vice President Al Gore event on October 6th. Header of Jack at designer daughter Jennifer Nicholson’s show at fashion week on March 22. Images thanks to PR Photos.