George Michael gave an extensive and unguarded interview to The Guardian newspaper over the weekend, likely his first since the British media went crazy with reports that he and Kenny Goss, his partner of 13 years, had split. Those reports were later denied, but that doesn’t stop the lingering questions about George Michael’s thirst for strange, his ambivalence to his fans, and his drug problems. The Guardian journalist even notes at the beginning of the interview: “A bag of grass and half a dozen pills sit on the table in front of him.” I’ve said it before – I actually like George Michael, even though I think he’s a total skeeve. I appreciate that he’s honest about his life, and he does give a hell of an interesting interview. The full Guardian piece is here, and here are some highlights:

Michael says that he’s tempted to tell some female fans to “piss off”: Really? “No. What can you do, especially if they come from abroad? You can’t be nasty. There’s one woman, she broke into my house seven times. The police did nothing. And I saw her down the road one day wearing my clothes.”

Michael on an interview he did in 2004: “I was probably more stoned in those days. I was existing on a balance of Starbucks and weed.”

The pills: What are the pills for? “Mind your own business. No, some of them are vitamin, some are anti-smoking and some are for my back.” In the bad old days, he reckons he was smoking around 25 spliffs a day, and was worried he’d do permanent damage to his voice. “I probably do about seven or eight a day now.”

George Michael on Rupert Murdoch, who he calls “the devil”: “Well, I’m the only person who mentions Murdoch in a negative context. The last person to go against him was Dennis Potter, and that was how many years ago? And if he hadn’t died, he would have been dead soon after, after what he said.” He’s joking. Sort of.

On all of those incidents where he was sleeping in his car: “For all the doctored pictures, every single breathalyser test I’ve taken in my life has read 0.0, and I’ve never failed a sobriety test.” He stops. “I always preface this with, ‘I deserved to lose my licence, I needed to lose my licence.’ ” Yes, he had taken drugs, but he was not stoned. “I had a problem with sleeping pills for about a year and a half, and I f-cked up really badly. I got in the car twice when I’d forgotten I’d already downed something to try to get me to sleep. It doesn’t matter that it wasn’t deliberate – ultimately, I did it a second time, and I could have killed somebody. But the fact remains I was never accused of driving under the influence. I got done for exhaustion and sleeping pills.”

Michael on crack: “No! I mean, I’ve done different things at different times that I shouldn’t have done, once or twice, you know.” I say I’d hate to think of him on crack. “Of course. Of course. Nobody wants to regularly smoke crack. Was I [smoking back then]? On that occasion? Yeah. I’m not going to tell you [the last time I smoked crack]. But I am going to tell you, whatever I do, I did 105 really good performances, and none of my musicians can ever say they’ve seen me wasted.”

On cruising: “The handful of times a year it’s bloody warm enough, I’ll do [go cruising]. I’ll do it on a nice summer even–ing. Quite often there are campfires up there. It’s a much nicer place to get some quick and honest sex than standing in a bar, E’d off your t-ts shouting at somebody and hoping they want the same thing as you do in bed. DyaknowhatImean?”

On the kind of men he likes: “I do get anyone I want. But I like a bit of everything. I have friends up there, I have a laugh.”

On “shagging” his boyfriend Kenny: “Too personal, man. If it was shagging with Kenny, I wouldn’t have to invite him round, would I? Kenny gets his, believe me.”

On his friends thinking he needs rehab: “Elton [John] lives on that. He will not be happy until I bang on his door in the middle of the night saying, ‘Please, please, help me, Elton. Take me to rehab.’ It’s not going to happen. You know what I heard last week? That Bono… Oh for God’s sake…” He’s choking on his laughter. “Geri [Halliwell] told Kenny that Bono, having spoken to Elton, had approached Geri to say, ‘What can we do for George?’ This is what I have to deal with because I don’t want to be part of that social clique. All I’d have to do to stop it is hang out in London, so people realize I don’t look close to death. As if Bono gives a sh-t what I do with my private life… Elton just needs to shut his mouth and get on with his own life. Look, if people choose to believe that I’m sitting here in my ivory tower, Howard Hughesing myself with long fingernails and loads of drugs, then I can’t do anything about that, can I?”

And in the end: “I’m surprised that I’ve survived my own dysfunction, really. People want to see me as tragic with all the cottaging and drug-taking… those things are not what most people aspire to, and I think it removes people’s envy to see your weaknesses. I don’t even see them as weaknesses any more. It’s just who I am.”

[From The Guardian]

Now, does George Michael sound like a well-adjusted man? Not really. He sounds like a really damaged yet self-aware addict who is maintaining to a certain degree. That being said, I love the stories about Elton John and Bono. I believe them too. I could really see Bono being like “We gotta do something about George, dude.” And I kind of love the audacity of George Michael talking to a reporter as he’s rolling and smoking joints. Can you imagine if an American celebrity did that? Oh, people would have a fit. Sigh… I know I shouldn’t enable George, but I love him.

George Michael and Kenny Goss leaving Nobu in London on October 15, 2009. Credit: WENN.