Lindsay Lohan puts on weepy spectacle after allegedly punching dude

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These are new photos of Lindsay Lohan and sister Ali crying as they both talk on the phone to people unknown. Not to be cruel about whatever their drama is, but they both look like bad actresses, yes? Like, I don’t find these tears convincing. Probably because I have some theories about why they were putting on this tearful show for the paparazzi. The first theory comes from Fame Pictures, and they claim the tears were all about Lindsay assaulting a dude for getting too close to Ali:

After Lindsay Lohan allegedly threw a punch at a guy who was getting too close to her younger sister Ali at a nightclub, the two exhibit some bizarre behavior on their yacht early this morning, the 4th of January. Sources say that Lindsay repeatedly warned the young man to leave her sister alone and viciously punched him when he did not stop.

Bodyguards arrived quickly to stop the fight and Ali returned to the boat, while Lindsay and a male friend stayed for another hour. On a yacht still riddled with vodka bottles from the long night of partying, the Lohan sisters laughed and cried as they made phone calls, trying to determine the severity of the fight and the consequences that may put a stop to their indulgent vacation.

[From Fame Pictures]

First off – if you don’t want random dudes to hit on your 16-year-old sister, you probably shouldn’t bring her to a club in St. Barth. Just an idea. As for the dude who wouldn’t leave Ali alone, well… yeah, he probably deserved a smack, but I’d be willing to bet this was all some kind of cracked-out imagined drama by Lindsay. The dude probably offered to buy Ali a drink (not realizing that she was 16 years old) and Lindsay probably went crazy on him. Just my theory!

Next theory: Lindsay and Ali were weeping so unconvincingly because they had just learned of Casey Johnson’s death. Lindsay actually crack tweeted about Casey’s death, and copied from Sam Ronson’s page this message: “Am so sick of those 3 letters, so tired of losing friends to something as senseless as a drug overdose. WAKE UP people.” Er… what’s disturbing to me is that Lindsay was likely high on something when she cut and pasted:

In the wake of the sudden and mysterious death of Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson, many—including the 30-year-old’s partner Tila Tequila– are wondering if drugs could have played a part in her untimely death.

While her cause of death has so far been determined as “uncertain” some celebrities aren’t wasting any time toting their anti-drug messages. On Monday night, Lindsay Lohan vented her thoughts on her Twitter page, writing: “Am so sick of those 3 letters, so tired of losing friends to something as senseless as a drug overdose. WAKE UP people.”

Her words were actually taken from her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson’s page. Ronson herself had been tweeting about Casey Johnson’s death.

Lindsay has battled her own drug rumors. Her father Michael Lohan told RadarOnline.com that he fears his daughter has an addiction to prescription pills and has pleaded publicly with her to get help.

In an exclusive statement to RadarOnline.com on Monday, Lohan said: “For how long now, have I been on national television, radio and in the press making waves about prescription drug use and how it is affecting the people we love and others?” Lohan wrote. “Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, Adam Goldstein, Brittany Murphy and now Casey. (My heart goes out Courtney Semel, who tried to help her, just as my heart goes out to my daughter as many of these people were her friends.) But let’s not talk about celebrities. Let’s talk about our own children and loved ones. When are people going to realize that these drugs cause you to do things you normally wouldn’t and will ultimately destroy your lives!?

“Knock me all you want, I am trying, not lying! It’s time to take a stand folks. Now! God bless Casey and her family.”

[From Radar]

Ugh, you know Michael had to say something. Because everything has to be about him. Gee, I wonder where Lindsay gets it? Oh, right, from both parents. So, what’s the better theory? That Lindsay and Ali put on this little weepy performance because of Casey Johnson, or because Lindsay could be facing assault charges in St. Barth, and she needs to get the hell out of Dodge? Probably a little of Column A, a little of Column B.

UPDATE: I guess there’s a theory number three, courtesy of the crackhead herself. A “friend” close to Lindsay tells Us Weekly that Lindsay’s “friend” Patrick Aufdenkamp “stole Lindsay’s sketches for her new 6126 clothing line… He is now running off trying to do his own line. And telling people he’s going to fashion market week in NYC on February 18 to debut his line.” Oh. My. Pasties! So, Lindsay was sketching her new clothing line while on vacation, and the designs were so good her “best friend” stole them to use for his own line? Lindsay’s friend continues: “It’s horrible. He was her best friend. He has always used her, and she’s been warned to never trust him. Lindsay is a good friend and likes to see the good in people. She didn’t want to believe how bad Patrick’s energy was, and how false his friendship has always been with her.” Oh, for the love of God. Lindsay herself admits that “I should’ve known better… But new year for me and a new beginning! Health, happiness, success and love!” Ten bucks says all of this just some new cracked-out delusion.

Lindsay and Ali Lohan on a yacht in St. Barth on January 4, 2009. Credit: Spread Pictures/Fame Pictures

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56 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan puts on weepy spectacle after allegedly punching dude”

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  1. nikki says:

    it’s always sad to learn a friend is dead

  2. Praise St. Angie! says:

    well, that sure is some home-schoolin’ that Ali is getting eh?

    at least she’s getting educated in how NOT to behave.

  3. Jojo says:

    The timing is right for it to be about Casey.

  4. Whitey Fisk says:

    You know, usually when I am crying over a friend’s death, I step inside the yacht and try to compose myself, as opposed to standing on the deck and directly facing a group of people who are taking my picture. But that’s just me. I’m shy like that.

  5. Goddess711 says:

    Yeah, I doubt this is about Casey Johnson’s death, it’s probably about how her probation is going to be affected. She’s still on probation for the drinkig thing, isn’t she? Didn’t some judge extend it a few weeks ago? Maybe the fact that she had her underage brat sister out partying she could be liable as well? If any thoughts about Casey are running through this twit’s head it should be whether she could be next in the “three letters”. Instead she’s probably wondering who can replace her “connection”.

  6. DoMaJoReMc says:

    This whole thing is SO wrong on SO many levels. HoHan is her 16 year old sister’s chaperone? A 16 year old out of the country, in a nightclub, on a yacht where there is booze and (I’m sure) drugs and sex. Where is CPS? Where is her mother (using the term loosely). Why, when the ‘bodyguard’ returned her from the nightclub to the yacht, did Hohan stay behind with a male friend? And what in the holy HELL was a 16 year old doing at a nightclub? There was a post yesterday picturing Ali and HoHan with 2 older guys. Do you think they just had ‘friendship’ in mind? NOPE! I’m almost willing to bet you that somewhere, somehow, someday a video will surface of this little get-away, especially with an underage girl. It SMACKS of child neglect. Someone go an SMACK Dina HoHan upside the head and WAKE HER THE EFF UP! I will take my hum-drum life with my family and my bills and my problems ANYDAY over this (dare I overuse the term) TRAINWRECK? We’ll be reading about HoHan, just as we read about Casey Johnson……….

  7. DoMaJoReMc says:

    @ Whitey Fisk: LOL! LOL! LOL!

  8. Jenny G says:

    @Whitey Fisk- Too f’ing funny!! You’re hilarious! Love it! LOL LOL!!!

  9. bella says:

    So glad to read Lindsay’s “drama-free” new year lasted until the 3rd of January (when she slugged a guy!)…she went drama-free longer than I thought she would!

  10. Praise St. Angie! says:

    Whitey Fisk, excellent point about how she’s making a spectacle of herself.

    when I cry, I don’t want ANYONE to see me.

    goddess711, the probation thing you mentioned…I think the judge gave her an extension – her excuse was that she was unable to complete her alcohol ed classes because she didn’t have enough time what with all her work.

    Give me a F*CKING break. at her next hearing, the judge should lock her up.

  11. Dan says:

    Yeah, Whitey is my Leader today

  12. Birdie says:

    How can Lindsay afford to rent a yacht? Uber-pricey…

  13. lin234 says:

    Has anyone read the book ‘Trading Up’ by Candace Bushnell (sex and the city author)? It’s about a Victoria’s Secret model and in one part, there is a recollection of her remembering her younger days of meeting some sort of Arab billionaire with a ridiculous yacht where she was basically paid thousands of dollars a week to be a “companion”.

    Perhaps that’s how Lindsey is paying her way and maybe someone mistakenly thought Ali was on pay too?

  14. kermit says:

    So, we are to believe that these young women are crying because of something that allegedly happened in a nightclub? It’s daylight. Makes no sense. Why are they outside crying? They both are on the phone and at the same time. You don’t get great signals inside of vessels, I know that from dinner cruises I’ve been on. So they are out on deck near the railings to get a good signal perhaps. And, possibly, they are talking to the same party and whoever they were gave them some bad news. It may or may not have to do with Casey Johnson and frankly, it’s none of our business.

  15. GatsbyGal says:

    Why was her underaged sister out on a yacht with vodka and older men to begin with…? You’re just asking for trouble at that point.

    I hope Lindsay gets in biiiiig fuckin trouble for this. Both for the assault and for whatever that one charge is called, contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

  16. Firestarter says:

    I thought she and Johnson didn’t like eac other due to the fact they both were “involved” with Courtney Semel, the “Google Me Dumbfuck” heiress.

  17. QB says:

    The only problem is that Lindsay can’t sketch and anyone good user would know that the cheap ass celebrity clothings line are done in th LA fashion week or in Miami.

  18. Tia C says:

    I don’t know, but I would guess that since St. Barth is French, there is no drinking age there. So Ali being in a club is no big whoop. I’m not saying I think it’s a good plan for her to be there, but legally, it’s OK.

    I highly doubt Lindsay and Ali crying has anything to do with the late heiress. I think Firestarter is right that they were not on the best of terms. They are probably crying because Ali broke a nail. Who cares? I actually find this quite amusing…

  19. tsagrenderp says:

    @Praise St. Angie you would think so wouldn’t you? But I still cringe at an interview she did a few years ago with E! She said something along the lines of she would do anything to be famous like her sister…

    I weep for these children I really do.

  20. Praise St. Angie! says:

    tsagrenderp, I remember her saying that.

    it wasn’t “I want to be an actress” or “I want to be a singer” or writer, or any actual PROFESSION, it was “I want to be famous like Lindsay”. I made a note of her words because I thought they were telling.

    no aspirations to BE anything, just famous for whatever.

  21. Susette says:

    I swear I’ve encountered stray alley cats with better maternal instincts and more urge to protect their young, than Dina Lohan.

  22. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    What is it about Tia Tequila’s business that gets all of these people to follow her?

  23. thepickle says:

    freaky-deaky like circus freaks.

  24. snowball says:

    Whitey, it may have been because she couldn’t get a good signal inside the yacht?

    Never having been on a yacht myself, I wouldn’t know. But it’s an option.

  25. BitterBetty says:

    Too pathetic for words

  26. kermit says:

    This illustrates how stories are made up about certain targeted celebs. Read the headline of this story. The most plausible story of Lindsay and Ali crying is the perceived betrayal and breakup of a 7 year friend of Lindsay’s (not confirmed but it’s looking like this is the case). Hope this doesn’t push her over the edge into more substance abuse. But read the headline and you may think their crying is based on some speculation by some “source” of a violent incident on Lindsay’s part. Sad.

  27. Bodhi says:

    Shes even stealing other people’s tweets now?

    “The most plausible story of Lindsay and Ali crying is the perceived betrayal and breakup of a 7 year friend of Lindsay’s (not confirmed but it’s looking like this is the case).”

    ^^Huh? Where did you get that from?

  28. diva says:

    I could have sworn the judge said for Lindsay not to leave town and to attend daily alcohol classes before her next court date as part of her probation. It doesn’t appear as though she is following the judges orders and will get jail time.

  29. lucy2 says:

    I don’t know which is more pathetic. Lindsay’s troubles are so deep and dangerous and everyone knows it. But her poor sister’s are yet to come, and could be even worse.

    Amusing, in a very sad way, whenever someone famous dies, all their buddies go oh no, drugs bad! When you know they all do it and are just lucky it wasn’t them this time.

  30. ccoop says:

    “three letters”

    What 3 letters? D-E-D?

  31. Kaiser says:

    LMAO@ccoop – I was wondering about that too, but I felt like an idiot for thinking about it. I think it “DIE” or “DOA” maybe?

  32. Praise St. Angie! says:

    I’m thinking the 3 letters were RIP.

    Bodhi, don’t you know? “kermit” is Lindsay’s last fan. or lindsay herself, except that kermit can seemingly spell.

  33. Kaiser says:

    Good call, it’s probably RIP.

  34. KelBear says:

    What is Ali doing at a nightclub in the first place?

    She isnt even 18 is she?

  35. kermit says:

    No, Kermit isn’t Lindsay’s fan. Kermit is a person that is very troubled of how easily people jump on the bandwagon to character assassinate a public figure. Lindsay brings on her share of troubles and the gossip industry feeds into this and creates an exaggerated figure for “regular” folks to beat up. This was done to Michael Jackson to the strongest degree. Yes, he was ill and quite troubled, but he was also the target of ugly ridicule by the press and public. I hope both the “press” and the public learn from past actions and the impact it can have on very troubled fellow human beings whose job and maybe some notoriety makes them public figures.

  36. andrea says:

    i was thinking the three letters were DOA, but Linds was probably thinking DUI.

    so many levels. how are these girls on a yacht? how are they paying for anything given the lack of work, shopping and drugs? how is lindsay ALWAYS the “victim”? b/c creating drama is the only way she can get attention, i guess? also, im guessing that when these girls go to a club, theyre in some sort of VIP area or something and/or have bodyguards – the article references bodyguards – how about, if some guy was really being a pest, you have the bodyguards handle it, since that’s, ya know, their job?

  37. Praise St. Angie! says:

    “Lindsay brings on her share of troubles and the gossip industry feeds into this and creates an exaggerated figure for “regular” folks to beat up.”

    well, you were partly right there.

    she DOES bring it on herself, which is why the claim that the gossip industry creates an exaggerated figure of her is just bunk.

    she’s a marginally talented, self-entitled, narcissistic junkie-waste-of-space who constantly plays the victim (for which you are now enabling her) and won’t take any responsibility for her actions.

    remember her famous “those weren’t my pants!” claim?

    oh, and as talented as MJ was, he was also an alleged pedophile, which is MOSTLY why he was targeted with “ugly ridicule” by the gossip press. people took the stories of him having a pet chimp and sleeping in an oxygen chamber as some simple eccentricities, but when it came to (possibly) diddling a child (or two, or three…), that’s where they drew the line.

  38. lucy2 says:

    @andrea, I have no idea how she is still affording this sort of lifestyle either. Life as an endless party with no job of any kind? Doesn’t make sense. I’m tending to give lin’s “professional companion” theory some plausibility, except I can’t imagine who would want her.

  39. kermit says:

    Re Ali. Lindsay has characteristics of someone with borderline personality disorder and Dina has characteristics of someone with narcissistic personality disorder. I truly feel Ali is better off with Lindsay. Why? Dina uses her daughters to make herself look great any almost any expense. Lindsay has unstable relationships but wants to protect and promote Ali. So, it’s the lesser of the two evils with Lindsay.

  40. kermit says:

    Praise St. Angiel THe press doesn’t exaggerate and make things up? You believe the story about the nightclub incident? Or the various men Lindsay’s attached to? The press is part of the problem, Lindsay’s illness and all of Hollywood’s role in producing narcissist is another part of the problem. As for Michael, I despise anyone who harms children or adults for that matter. I specifically meant all of the nonsense that surrounded Michael, especially stuff about his physical appearance. I believe he did have vitiligo and that’s tough for a public person. And the “eccentricities” were exaggerated and the public was extremely mean-spirited towards pre-pedophile accused Michael.

  41. journey says:

    fashionista.com has a picture of linds wearing a dress by jen kao from last year. and next to it a sketch from linds brand new line 6126. and they’re identical. the dress has an intricate geometric pattern down the front and line by line they’re the same, so it’s not like its an “accidental oops” or a “sort-of-similar coincidence”. it’s just flat out ripping off a legitimate hardworking designer. so if linds’ friend ripped off the designs that linds stole from someone else– can’t feel too bad for her!

  42. Praise St. Angie! says:

    “THe press doesn’t exaggerate and make things up?”

    didn’t say that, but in Lindsay’s case, they don’t need to. that’s not to say they don’t report rumors about her, but there’s enough TRUE, VERIFIED stuff about her (like the multiple thefts, car chases, etc.) to justify any “ridicule” she receives.

    I don’t believe for one second that she’s “ill”. (except for her addictions, if that’s what you meant.) she didn’t behave this way until she started HEAVILY using drugs. I think she’s been around her enablers (Dina, etc.) for too long and now thinks she can do no wrong, drugs and all.

  43. mollination says:

    Why is Ali crying though for god’s sakes?! She shouldn’t know or emotionally care about casey johnson, she shouldn’t be in clubs, she shouldnt’ be going home to her yacht by herself in the middle of the night (yeah, way to look out for your lil sis Lindsay, Punch the guy and then let her go home alone while you try to get your slut on), and she shouldn’t be partying all the fucking time unsupervised on the vodka bottle boat! What the hell is going on!?

  44. What? says:

    How the f*ck does a washed-up and completely unmarketable ex-actress/ex-singer/ex-fashion designer find the money or means to get a yacht?!

  45. la chica says:

    why are they both crying in the open? can’t they go to their suite and cry their hearts away? or is this just a drama show for the cameras. my vote is drama.

    i think that both stories are true bec multiple sources are reporting them both. i hope that Child Protective finally removes Ali from her mother’s custody as a result of the first incident.

    and Patrick Aufdencamp has been a successful stylist for years. check his website. he doesn’t need to steal designs from this crackhead Ho.

  46. andrea says:

    kermit/angie – points taken. however, no comparison btw MJ’s tabloid targeting and LL’s. for many reasons. LL intentionally pulls stunts to get attention b/c she is wildly dysfunctional. MJ was also wildly dysfunctional, but did not intentionally and constantly stage antics for press – quite the opposite, he wanted to be as private as possible. LL’s dramas are calculated to manipulate and/or hurt other people – something MJ never did/never would have done.

  47. andrea says:

    ya know, ive been genuinely perplexed for a while now about how it is that LL is still alive. that sounds awful, but she’s been on suicide/overdose/car crash/other violent drama-watch for, gosh, maybe *years* now? esp in comparison with britney’s ability to pull out of her spiral (largely via her parent’s care, which LL obviously lacks.) im starting to think that one of the other differences btw brit’s spiral (and subsequent at least moderate recovery) and LL’s continuing and ever-darkening spiral is, yes, about the diff in parents, but also maybe it’s really true what folks were saying that brit was NOT into drugs during the head-shaving days – she’s got some sort of bipolar mental illness and had a breakdown but it wasnt drug-fueled and she wasn’t a crackhead – whereas lindsay’s spiral IS about drugs – and that’s a much different problem. it’s been said a million times, but linds is living on borrowed time. i wish she was young enough for child protective services to get involved – given her “parents”, i would think she’d be taken and made a ward of the state or given to other relatives. unforunately, too late for that. why doesnt SOMEONE get lindsay a conservatorship like brit’s? put an appointed legal guardian, NOT her parents, in charge, or something. i am a lawyer (snore, i know) but lawyers DO have the ability to seek a declaration that their client is not capable of caring for themselves and needs a guardian – im sure its a lot of hoops to jump thru – but it seems that if her parents won’t do it, one of her lawyers or managers or SOMEONE should do it. take control of her bank accounts, whom she can have contact with, throw her in a secluded looonnnggg rehab program. only way this girl is going to come out alive.

  48. PigskinMama says:

    Who knows, who cares, maybe their credit cards were cutoff or something.

  49. kermit says:

    Lindsay’s problems are not drugs. Drugs are a symptom, drugs are escapism as well as her shopoholic tendencies. I don’t know if I can post links here but Lindsay, as well as people like Amy Winehouse, are almost definitive examples of women with borderline personality disorder. That’s her real challenge and something she needs therapy for. Please see the following article. There are about 9 bullet points for characteristics and if 5 are present, then the diagnosis is usually made. Lindsay has almost all 9 bullet points. And yes, Lindsay’s parents are a mess. Link:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jordan-safirstein/lohan-nature-nurture-or_b_58272.html

  50. GatsbyGal says:

    @Kermit – I don’t think she’s got any kind of disorder. She’s just a selfish, spoiled brat who’s trying to destroy herself in some vain attempt to get back at her parents (which will never, ever work because they will never, ever care).

  51. la chica says:

    they’re crying bec patrick and jessica schul who were part of their entourage in st. bart’s abandoned them and returned to the US together. now Hohan and mini-me have to find their own way home. hence the tears. Patrick left bec Lindsay went to US Weekly and accused him of stealing her designs. (not true)

    Lindsay definitely has BPD. major abandonment issues. and Ali is BPD in training because she is wailing right along with her sister.

  52. kermit says:

    Gatsby Girl, have you been around anyone with this disorder or know anything about it? Anyone that has it? I know someone that has BPD and is in the arts and Lindsay and this woman share similar qualities. I have experience with her as well as others that have BPD. I totally stand by what I say. If you google Lindsay Lohan and borderline personality disorder (it comes up in Google predective text) and really look into what trained professionals have to say about it, then at least you and other doubters will see what they base their professional judgments upon. This doesn’t excuse Lindsay’s behavior or actions, just gives more insight into them and that it is more than meets the eye.

  53. jaundicemachine says:

    My mother was Borderline. Her behavior drove me to study Psychology at school.

    In my personal (armchair) opinion, there is nothing “neurologically” wrong with Lindsay that can’t be undone with some honest introspection and a bought of sobriety – that is to say, while she may be suffering from depression, she doesn’t have a hardwired personality disorder.

  54. serena says:

    well.. at least ali seems a 16 years old girl NOW. xD better than nothing.

    I’m sick of lindsay -_- such a crazy idiot.