Tom Cruise’s life seems to involve a lot more talk about placentas than the average man’s. Or the average woman’s, for that matter. Tom once famously claimed that he was going to eat Suri’s placenta after she was born. When people freaked out (Western cultures generally don’t partake in the birth products of their young) he claimed it was all a joke. But because it’s Tom Cruise, most of us know he doesn’t make a lot of jokes, and the crazier something sounds, the more likely he means it. Apparently Suri’s birth wasn’t the first time Cruise has made placenta demands. According to author Andrew Morton’s highly unauthorized Tom Cruise biography, Nicole Kidman saved some of the placenta after she had a miscarriage. Why? To prove to the media that it was indeed Tom’s.

Tom Cruise’s controversial biography stirs up more outrageous allegations. The book claims that Nicole Kidman reserved some of the placenta from her miscarriage to prove Cruise was the father of her child.

Andrew Morton, the author who is facing a $100 million legal threat from the Top Gun actor and the Church of Scientology for his unauthorized biography of the actor, asserts that Kidman saved the placenta to quash media speculations regarding the paternity of the unborn baby.

“They did try to start a family [but] she sadly had a miscarriage,” Morton says. “And because of all the questions over the father, she ordered that some of the placenta be saved in order to prove paternity - the fact that Tom Cruise was the father.”

[From All Headline News]

Sounds a little unbalanced right? Who do you think is more likely to be the brains behind that idea: Nicole Kidman – who seems relatively sane, if not a little over-botoxed, or Tom Cruise – who… does the crazy things Tom Cruise does? I can’t even begin to give a list of all the unbalanced things the man has done and said. I wouldn’t know where to start, and I certainly wouldn’t know where to stop. There are too many things to choose from. So who do you think masterminded the whole, “let’s save a chunk for the press” idea? Probably a couch jumper.

What I really want to know is – if Tom and Nicole did indeed save some placenta for the media – what in the world did they intend to do with it? Would they have actually given it to a reporter to have it tested? Would the reporter have had to ask, or would the Cruises have been polite enough to offer? How does that kind of discussion even work? I’m a pretty big nerd whose read a lot of etiquette books – I don’t think I’ve ever run across that situation. Leave it to Tom Cruise to chart new waters every day.