Ronnie Wood’s drunken antics make Keith Richards give up booze

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Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles: legendary boozer Keith Richards has given up alcohol after seeing the complete train wreck of a life his band-mate Ronnie Wood has made for himself. Sources say that Richards, who famously was so drunk that he didn’t remember composing the guitar lick for the Rolling Stones’ signature song “Satisfaction,” is now retracting his previous vow to drink until the end of his life, thanks to Ron Wood’s non-stop drunken tour of elderly embarrassment that included an affair with a woman young enough to be his grand-daughter.

Keith Richards hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol for over four months, despite previously vowing to drink forever after outliving several doctors who had told him to give up it up.

But four years ago Richards, who has a face like a crinkle cut chip, suffered a brain haemorrhage after he fell out of a palm tree on an alcohol soaked holiday with Wood. And now he’s determined not to end up like Wood, who’ll be partying with The Saturdays and Amelle Berrabah by the end of this week.

A source said:

“He has always quite enjoyed the fact that he seemed to be able to carry on drinking as much as he liked with no real negative impact on his health.

“But he has watched Ronnie fall well and truly off the wagon last year and he doesn’t like what he sees. Plus he has started to feel for the first time like it might do him some good to give up the booze for a while.”

[From Holy Moly]

This whole situation with Ron Wood is kind of fascinating to me. It seems like everyone else around him is learning a valuable life lesson. His long-suffering wife, Jo, has learned that her life is much better without him. His now-ex-girlfriend, Katia Ivanova, is learning that she likes being the former girlfriend of “Grandpa Punchy (TM Kaiser),” because it gets her magazine spreads and TV appearances. And Keith Richards has finally woken up to the fact that an old drunk just isn’t cool – even if that old drunk is wearing leather pants. This is pretty big news. I mean, we’re talking about a guy who allegedly snorted his dad’s cremated remains. I guess the next question is: when will Ron Wood himself learn something?

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20 Responses to “Ronnie Wood’s drunken antics make Keith Richards give up booze”

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  1. Nic says:

    Why do I find this funny?

  2. Black~Kat says:

    LOL face like a crinkle cut potato chip..

  3. Black~Kat says:

    Only one reason young women go near this bunch of raisins… free drugs and money. Who the hell wants to stroke granddaddy’s leather clad crotch…ewww.

  4. Praise St. Angie! says:

    aw, I love me some Keith.

  5. Tess says:

    Hey, Keith Richards actually makes Ronnie Woods look good in side-by-side photos. And that’s no easy feat.

  6. Linda says:

    I love the man. I don’t care what he does. He’s the man. I’d go back to drugs if he asked me to. Love, love, love.

  7. Cathy says:

    Katia is/was also on Celeb Big Brother

  8. annie says:

    He just looks like he smells like a ashtray.

  9. Babalon says:

    @Black~Kat: You crack me up. Literally spewed some beverage on my keyboard. Thanks. 😉

  10. CYANN says:

    I always laugh when I envision that drunk old man hanging from a palm tree.

  11. Lantana says:

    @Tess LOL and you make such a good point

  12. Dan says:

    The Stones can do no wrong in my eyes… booze, drugs, ashes of dead people & I refuse to believe Ron Wood hit Katia Ivanova just because she said so…
    POW

  13. lilred says:

    Better late than never…Now he will be able to remember where he parked his wheel chair.lol.

  14. gg says:

    @ Tess – I know!! Wonders never cease.

    Anyway, at least some good things have come from such a shambolic specimen of a jerk.

  15. Sincerity says:

    I absolutely love it when these celebs realize they’re “not immortal” and it’s time to “grow up”. I suspect it may have been Keith’s love of music that also contributed to his decision. Not being able to play your own classic hits certainly is somewhat embarrassing. He probably does not have too many functioning brain cell left.

  16. fabulous says:

    Leave him alone. Just love Ronnie and why shouldn’t he do what he wants? He is a legend.

  17. Ben says:

    Rockstars get a pass for me on hedonistic behaviour because well…they’re rockstars, it’s excepted.
    Better that than nancy-boy faux rock like the chastity ring Jonas Brothers.

  18. Ollie says:

    Great! Live the life boys, we all know that youth is mask so live it long and fast, you may never get another chance…

    Who at 60+ wants 40-60 year old hags..

  19. dael says:

    the irony of it is U guys/ I bet he’ll get sick because he gave up booze. I mean he is so pickled at this point but hell yes still a great guitarist and you REALLY hear how great he is on his solo albums .

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