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Here is the cover shot for Jessica Simpson’s cover of Allure Magazine, the March issue. What do you think? I wish they had chosen a photo of Jessica with her mouth closed. When Jessica’s mouth is open, she looks… not bright. Like she’s about to fart on someone. The hair looks good, though, and the makeup is alright.
Jessica is on the cover because she’s gearing up to promote her VH1 show, The Price of Beauty. The show premieres on March 14, and throughout the series, we will see Jessica in Japan, Thailand, France, Brazil, Uganda, Morocco and India with best friend/stylist Ken Paves.
That’s about all. Allure hasn’t released any additional images from the photo shoot or any interview excerpts, unfortunately. But I am looking forward to Jessica’s press tour! You know she’s going to screw up somehow, she’s like Calamity Jane in high-waisted jeans. But in one other piece of Jessica-related news, her dad crashed Nick Lachey’s Super Bowl party in Miami on Friday. Apparently, Joe crashed the party and told people Nick “didn’t know” he was there. Apparently, they barely spoke, but they did acknowledge each other. And Joe is an ass.
Allure cover courtesy of CoverAwards.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Farts, Jessica Simpson
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32 Responses to “Jessica Simpson looks farty on Allure’s March cover”
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Fugly brows.
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I wish Jess would lose some weight. She really isn’t looking good lately… very bloated
I’m not saying she should starve herself, but she’s a person that has all the time in the world to work out and get her body back in shape.
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I like her. She’s one of my favorite celebs. She’s goofy but savvy and likes to make fun of herself. Her show sounds reasonably interesting.
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Ugly brows? really? I thought they looked good.
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They really should have picked a better angle because she’s looking a little manish.
And I agree about the open mouth picture. She looks like a mouth breather.
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She’s got quite fat.
Time to retire as Hollywood “personality”. Her and the whole of her creepy, untalented and useless family.
It’s ages that nobody truly cares about any of them.
It’s like a the last bad joke to look at them, and feel like we’re witnessing a rotten reality.
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Note to self: get the heck out of this thread. It’s going to be all ATTACK JESSICA SIMPSON – FULL POWER in the comments, you can already tell. You do not need to let the trolls get you down with their icky attitudes today; it’s only Monday. Back away now.
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I think she looks pretty.
I wish people would stop hating on her.
AND – She is not FAT. Good God you people saying she needs to lose weight.. You’re the reason young girls become Anorexic or worse…
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I’m with you princess pea.
I feel sorry for her. Girl can’t catch a break and everyone always thinks it’s open season on her.
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Fat? Come on. She’s not a toothpick and rarely dresses well for her shape, but she’s not fat.
I do think her hair looks a little fake on the cover, it’s way too light and the same shade top to bottom. I don’t know if it’s just bad lighting or what, but it does make her brows look an odd color when they’re really not in the other pics.
Why is she still on magazine covers though? She’s not singing or acting or doing anything right now.
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What the hell? She doesn’t do anything to anyone, yet people pick on her constantly!
Bitch bitch bitch about weight. She is hardly fat, and if she is carrying a few pounds extra- SO WHAT!
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She’s not fat at all. She seems a healthy weight, if anything on the thinner side of average. And she looks absolutely fantastic wearing no makeup.
Per photo, photoshop. There are hardly any photos that aren’t retouched on magazine covers and in shoots.
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I think she’s so purdy. She’s one of my favorite celebrities. She seems sweet and really vulnerable.
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Is it me or does she really look like Ricky Martin?
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And she’s NOT fat. Girl doesn’t know how to dress, but she’s not fat.
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she sooooo needs to hire a stylist.
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Fat? Please – that’s ridiculous. She’s a great looking girl.
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I’m fed up with those “holier-than-thou” people who condemn those who want to have fun and bitch and moan about celebrities. This is not fan website; it’s a GOSSIP website! They are like “Rule #1, Rule #2, Rule #3”. Lighten up! This is a FUN site! (At least it’s supposed to be…)
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Oh, and by the way, I hate those stupid shoes!
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When will this poor girl live down that unfortunate flatulence incident? Lainey always says she needs authentic girlfriends to help her along. I hope she can meet a couple of true blue friends who can give her constructive advice on boyfriends, clothes and ditching that dad of hers!
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how does she look manish or bad? she looks good, clearly they wanted to try something new for the cover to grab people’s attention with her mouth being agape. even if it doesnt look perfect, its way better than all those grossly photoshopped pictures. at least it looks like her. and she looks like a normal beautiful woman with a banging bod.
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I’m with Princess Pea on this one, heading out away from the people who are looking to be mean!)
Jess is alright. Not one of us here would withstand half the scrutiny this poor girl takes for her physical attributes.
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Someone needs to explain WHY she’s getting the cover of ANY magazine…
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DAMN… people are vicious… seer, it’s one thing to be fun and bitchy, it’s another thing to make it obvious you have no soul… calling her fat and a rotting family etc etc? I don’t find this amusing… I find it SAD…
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Honestly, this is not NEARLY as bad as it could get. There are more people denouncing people who are calling her fat than there are people who are actually calling her fat.
Anyway, I don’t think that she looks like she’s about to fart, but the pose does call attention to her chin which is not her best feature.
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Her eyebrows are fine, pretty nice actually. She’s got her mouth open because every single magazine cover lately has pictures of women with their mouths hanging open. It doesn’t make her look stupid, it makes her look like she’s got her mouth partially open.
She’s not fat. She’s about 5’4″ and if you’re that tall, you’d know that every pound you gain makes you look like you put on several. She’s got big boobs – that alone makes her look different from all the lollipop head toothpicks.
She does not look like a man, nor does she look like Ricky Martin. I don’t get what a fart face is? Is this it? Because it doesn’t look like she’s going fart at all.
Did anyone actually read Kaiser’s story? She’s on the cover because she’s promoting her new VH1 show. Lucy2, jules, she’s working, is this enough reason?
I’m constantly amazed by the outpouring of dislike and the number of people who rag on Jessica. She could be knock you dead gorgeous wearing a gorgeous dress that shows off her rocking bod and some people will still call her a stupid, ugly man.
I’ve never seen a report where she’s been bitchy, attacked anyone, been a crazy diva or done anything but be a little ditzy. Was it the second she asked about the tuna? Because she and Nick Lachey got divorced? Because her dad is a freaky pig?
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@snowball_
I agree with you
Her dad is jerk though
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How in the hell does having one’s lips slightly parted make one look farty? Lame filler story.
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@ fizXgirl314 “calling her fat and a rotting family etc.”
Well, yes, in that sense I agree. Touché : )
But I still think her shoes are stupid!
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@snowball I’m not amazed by comments anymore. Doesn’t matter how nice someone comes across as, people commenting are anonymous on the net and some target celebs because to them, celebs put themselves out there and aren’t considered real people. I’ll say this too, it seems women and even young girls are attacked more than men, especially their appearance and often judged by how they dress or wear makeup.
There was a recent article about Jessica farting in a meeting. That’s probably where the farty face comes from. Jessica’s smart, the ditsy thing is an act. She’s comes across wonderfully, if she’s attacked I guess anyone can be.
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don’t like that pic of her at all…
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Think the cover shot could have been better. Vaguely curious to see her new show.
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