The American public often behaves in a way that makes me think there is hope for the future. This time, I’m encouraged by the fact that Paris Hilton’s new movie, “The Hottie and the Nottie,” was an abysmal failure this weekend– both with the critics and at the box office. I was actually a little scared that people might go see it out of boredom or curiosity. But I was very happy to hear that the movie brought in only $26,000 in limited release, according to ticket sales tabulated late Sunday.
Hilton’s new film, meanwhile, The Hottie and the Nottie, was a definite nottie.
The comedy, the all-new tale of a gorgeous blonde and her less-attractive brunette best friend, “grossed” $26,000 at 111 theaters. By comparison, In Bruges, the Colin Farrell hit-man comedy, grossed, in the truer sense of the word, $471,200 at only 28 theaters.
Now, this isn’t quite as much of a floating turd as Jessica Simpson’s movie, “Blonde Ambition,” however it did perform even more poorly than Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards’ stinker, “Blonde and Blonder.” It also drew brutal reviews from every critic who had the misfortune of seeing it.
One would think that after increasingly embarrassing forays into reality television, the Internet and the penitentiary, Paris Hilton might have taken a moment to reflect on her choices. Or perhaps not: with “The Hottie & the Nottie” Ms. Hilton proves yet again that introspection — not to mention shame — is as alien to her as a life without paparazzi. Custom designed for its smirking star (who is also an executive producer), this tasteless train wreck asks only that she preen and prance on cue.
It’s almost needless to describe how awful “Hottie” is. It’s a total and complete misfire of intention and execution; an utterly worthless, unfunny sack of pain that doesn’t deserve anyone’s time or attention. It’s best to ignore it, like one might avoid say the plague or a “Two and a Half Men” studio taping. Oh yes, it’s that bad.
However, to lunge at Hilton’s throat for this botched abortion is too easy and truly not where this trail of tears leads. The culprit is Joel David Moore, an actor who, for some unknown reason, was told early on in his career that he was funny, and now we all have to pay for this demonic miscalculation of talent.
America, thank you for showing your good taste and judgment by avoiding this movie. Paris doesn’t need any encouragement to continue her “acting” career. Hopefully this will be the nail in the coffin on that front, and she will go back to being tabloid fodder so we can all ignore her again.
Picture note by Celebitchy: Paris Hilton is shown at “Verizon and People Honor Timbaland” on 2/8/08, thanks to PRPhotos.
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