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Since Jeremy Renner publicly denied getting Jessica Simpson’s digits, someone (her dad) had to look for someone else to hook Jessica up with in the tabloids. No, I’m actually not that cynical. Well, maybe I am. I think her dad does do that, set her up with people for publicity purposes, but I don’t really think Jessica is like that. But I digress. Life & Style is reporting that after John Mayer’s Playboy interview in which he referred to Jess as “sexual napalm,” Jessica’s phone “is ringing off the hook”. And one of the dudes who wants to date Napalm McMotorboat is none other than the newly single (and still douchey) Ryan Phillippe. Apparently, Jess has “always had her eye on him” and she’s been texting him:
John Mayer’s racy Playboy interview has ended up being quite the personal ad — for his ex Jessica Simpson.
“My phone is ringing off the hook, I have to say!” Jessica revealed on Oprah, discussing the aftermath of being referred to as “sexual napalm” by the singer-songwriter. But Jessica, 29, is getting her payback: she’s been basking in male attention ever since.
Not only was The Hurt Locker star Jeremy Renner seen talking with Jessica at a pre-Oscars cocktail party, she’s also begun texting with the newly single Ryan Phillippe.
“Jessica has had a crush on Ryan for ages,” a friend explains. “They’re planning to get together soon.”
[From In Touch Weekly]
This will end in tears, Napalm. Ryan may seem like he’s a half-way decent guy, but I don’t really think he is. Jessica is better off with Jeremy Renner, who just seems like a better guy all around. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like Renner was interested. Who else would be good with Jessica? I’m at a loss. It has to be someone nice, but let’s not overreach. A really smart guy would get bored with Jessica, I think. So we need to find her someone nice who is similarly not all that bright. I still can’t think of anyone…
And what’s up with Ryan only dating blondes?
Jessica in NY on March 10, 2010. Credit: Girlie/Fame Pictures. Ryan in LA on January 28, 2010. Credit: Fame.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Jessica Simpson, Ryan Phillippe
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19 Responses to “Jessica Simpson will get her “sexy revenge” with Ryan Phillippe”
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Thats funny. Who is John egghead by the way?
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how very nick lacheyish he is. especially in that pic.
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Yes, this will definitely end in tears, Napalm. The one “good” thing about Ryan is her career would never eclipse his, so he probably wouldn’t leave her. But he’d still probably cheat on her, just because that’s the way he is.
Maybe for Chesty Drawers we could find a nice, semi-dim sports player. I’m still drawing a blank, but let me get some coffee in my system, and I’ll think on it.
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@bellaluna, LOL, *clinking coffee cups*
Jessica-honey, I know you have Daddy issues, so try some therapy so you can stop dating sleazy douche a-holes!
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Sad that her whole career now is her personal life and who her latest boyfriend is
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Ryan Phillipe is such a smug douche…his face in every picture makes him look like the biggest dick ever. Jessica will definitely get hurt by him, unless she’s smart enough to just use him for sex
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Well, I would give it a try if I were her….douche or not he looks good to me!
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Didn’t Ashlee hook up with him a few years ago? I highly doubt Jessica would want her sister’s sloppy seconds.
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@ canadianchick – Cheers! ITA with you on Jess and her daddy issues.
See, I think the thing with Nick & Jess was this: Nick knew she wasn’t the sharpest tool in the box, but he found it endearing and loved her enough that it didn’t matter to him. She hasn’t found that since. I hope her pervy dad is proud of himself for chasing off (and bad-mouthing him to Jess, making her think [falsely] she could find someone so much better than Nick) the one man who truly loved her for her. Pervy dad was threatened by Nick, couldn’t handle that Jess loved Nick and that Nick “took” Jess away from him. Her dad is just so nasty.
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What we need is a David Boreanaz type for her. Sam Worthington is pretty hunky, laddish, seems not too brainy but very nice. Like he wants a sense of humor to go with those awesome boobs, and Jessica’s hilarious, albeit, not always intentionally.
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She looks sooo much better in these pictures than she does all dressed up!
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I like her. I wish her well. She is pretty harmless, and seems down to earth. I would definitely love to go out and have cocktails with her….
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If Kellan Lutz wasn’t too young, I’d vote for him. Someone sweet but not too bright…A little bland…
JOHN STAMOS!
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hello again. tis meme the brangelina hater (heehee). MY imaginary BF Jeremy Renner is NOT interested in jessica. now STOP it or i might lose my shit again. that’s never pretty.
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They say the most arrogant people only date others who share similar coloring, features, etc. of themselves. That explains Ryan and his blondes…
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WTF does Ryan Phillippe have to be arrogant about? He’s a crappy actor and a douchebag.
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bellaluna – you prety much got it straight. The “grass is always greener” syndrome. They were good together, neither of them is doing so great alone. O’well – Jess wanted a change.
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LOL.
Her dad is delusional.
There’s no way motorboat Simpson will get a piece of Ryan (who’s a douche, a HUGE one, but who also has a taste for hot people, and Jessica latest’ look makes her resemble a pink Dumbo The Elephant.)
Lose half of your weight, than maybe…
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i think her career has already eclipsed his though (in the business dept.), because her bag/shoe seems to be pretty popular so she’s most certainly bringin n the bucks with merchandising..and the new show on vh1
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