Chelsea Handler calls her ex-boyfriend/current boss a “giant toddler”

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I know I was talking about my general dislike of Chelsea Handler the other day, but I have to backtrack a little, just because she didn’t come across as unpleasant as she usually does in this new interview in Harper’s Bazaar. Chelsea was interviewed to promote her book, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, and they made her pose with Abigail Breslin for the photo shoot. Chelsea is supposed to be Abigail’s put-upon “Handler” in the photo spread. It’s kind of funny. I really like Breslin, and apparently she and Chelsea got along well, so I’ll give Chelsea some credit for not drunkenly mocking a little girl. Well done! My God, the bar is low. Anyhoodle, here are some excerpts from the Bazaar piece (full article here):

Chelsea doesn‘t like an entourage: “Sometimes the publicists are worse than the star,” observes Handler, who has certainly dealt with her fair share of the type. “They really are delusional. That’s why when I hired a publicist, I was like, I never want the type who is going to be such a pain in the ass and treats people terribly.”

More on how publicists suck: “A lot of publicists trade their clients,” Handler continues. “They’ll say you can have this person only if you’ll have this person who’s not as successful or famous,” just like baseball cards, but plus Zac Efron and minus Alex Rodriguez. “If your client knew what you were doing, then they wouldn’t be having you represent them.”

On the personal stories in her book, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang: “I don’t get to talk about my personal life enough on the show,” she says. “[The book] is about the embarrassing situations I find myself in.”

On her ex-boyfriend (and current boss at E!, Ted Harbert the current president and CEO of Comcast Entertainment Group): “[Ted] has read the book and signed off on everything, so he should be fine with it,” says Handler, though she does compare him to a “large toddler” in its pages.

On her dad: She details his affairs with his cleaning ladies and his defunct personal hygiene and suggests, not entirely joking, that he should be committed. “[My father] likes to have any attention, whether it’s negative or positive. He is pretty much under the correct impression that he has no say in anything I do and that my childhood was humiliating enough. So it’s payback time,” says Handler. “If he tried to sue me, he’d have to borrow money from me to sue me.”

On Demi Moore: “It’s always nice when you see somebody who’s bigger than life and you meet them in person,” says Handler of Demi Moore (this month’s Bazaar cover star and a recent first-time guest). “You’re like, I wonder what they’ll be like, [and then] they’re totally normal and cool. That’s great.”

On her party-girl image: “I don’t really go out and about at all those nightclubs. I got that out of my system in my 20s,” says Handler, who prefers to hang out at her friends’ houses and “just chill.” “I’m not that into getting my photograph taken. I think people see enough of me if they want to [on TV] every night.” Anyway, she quips, “I can’t afford to get a DUI with the people I make fun of on this show.”

On her work life: “I decided to become a comedian when someone told me you only work on weekends. Turns out they were way off base,” says Handler, laughing. “I work more than anyone in my family, but luckily I now also take better vacations than anyone in my family.”

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

Whatever she’s doing, it’s working. Or whatever. I meant that as in, her book is selling really well and she’s got a contract with E! until 2012. After which she’ll probably regret calling her boss a “giant toddler”. So that probably isn’t working so well, long-term. And whatever the girl is doing with her skin and diet and whatever is not working either, because I’m still not buying that she’s 35 years old. Oh, well.

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Photos courtesy of Harper’s Bazaar.

 

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15 Responses to “Chelsea Handler calls her ex-boyfriend/current boss a “giant toddler””

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  1. Dorothy says:

    Love Her! I wonder why she broke up with Ted?

  2. bellaluna says:

    Chelsea is actually very funny. My hubby and I enjoy her panel and the banter on her show.

  3. escapee says:

    For a second, I thought the first picture was a shot of Miley Cyrus and Melissa Rivers. The bottom two pics. are great for both of them though.

  4. Sudini says:

    I really like her a lot. I don’t usually buy celebrity books (the last one I bought was Amy Sedaris’s) but I’ll probably get this one…

  5. Jennifer says:

    Love her! Why don’t you believe she’s 35? I’m confused.

  6. Ron says:

    Her books are very funny and make a good beach read. Jen Lancaster and Laurie Notaro are two other authors in the vain and are also very funny. And of course David Sedaris, the king of biographical essays.

  7. ien says:

    i love chelsea, she tells the truth and it’s effing hilarious

  8. GatsbyGal says:

    She’s a hard 35, that’s for sure. I think she looks older than she really is because she’s basically an alcoholic…plus being so bitter and snarky all the time ages you, I think.

  9. lucy2 says:

    I agree, GatsbyGal, she’s just a hard 35. It’s amazing what sort of toll all of that partying can take on a person. Though if snark ages you more quickly too, I might be in trouble.

    @ Ron – I LOVE LOVE LOVE David Sedaris (Amy too, but David much more). Got to see him do a live reading a few months ago, and I especially love the audiobooks of his writing – the way he reads it makes it all even more hilarious.

  10. JuiceinLA says:

    At the risk of repeating myself, She’s not 35, she’s like 42, maybe 45, and she is a hypocrite in the extreme.

    No matter how funny you are, if you schtick is based on turning a spotlight on the gossipy downfalls of others, and directly berating z-listers for their participation in playboy spreads and vanity, if you earn your money making fun of Heidi Montage in playboy and then you go pose for Hef- you are an asphole.

    And this is exactly who Chelsea handler is: a hypocritical asphole

  11. Alexa says:

    I am disappointed by the “Chelsea Lately” show. I ONLY like some of the sketches – the panel/insults bit sucks imo. But the show before that (was it called “The Chelsea Handler Show”?) had some hilarious sketches – which really got me laughing. Like the one where she goes to see an etiquette coach; and the one where she borrows her friend’s baby to do a “Mommy and me” exercise class; or the one where she helps out at a daycare (flask in pocket); or the one where she chaperones a teen’s date; OH – and the one with Gary Coleman was hilarious too!!

  12. Cinderella says:

    I think she’s funny, but I bet she’s a mean drunk.

  13. Lauren says:

    I was curious so I looked it up. According to public records in CA and NJ, Chelsea Joy Handler is, in fact, 35 years old.

  14. SpreadLove says:

    Chelsea admits on her show she cops a lot of grief for looking older than she is. That’s would be suck and it would be hard not to give in and go under the knife so I applaud her for staying natural.

    I love her show. Its the BEST late night chat show on. Some of the sketches are a bit meh but I love the round table discussions. Esp Ross and Lonnie..