Jennifer Love Hewitt says she tries on an engagement ring once a month

Jennifer Love Hewitt's The Day I Shot Cupid Book Launch Party
Once when I was in college I got busted by a classmate checking out diamond engagement rings. She totally called me on it and was really snotty “oh are you planning something?” when she could have played it off and just said “hi.” The girl was getting married at the time too, and she invited me to her wedding. When I RSVPed with two dinner choices she called to tell me that I didn’t have a “plus one” since I wasn’t dating anyone that she knew of. My rambling point is that there are times when women check out engagement rings, but we do it in relative private and if our friends find out we don’t want them to be bitches about it. I didn’t particularly like that girl, and she made it much worse by acting like I was pitiful for even looking at commitment jewelry.

Jennifer Love Hewitt has a new dating and self-help book out The Day I Shot Cupid and in a brief review posted on NPR it’s revealed that Hewitt admits to trying on a favorite engagement ring at the jewelers once every month since she was 12. I’m not going to be like that bitchy “friend” whose name I would have to look up to remember. I’m just going to say that if I had a friend who did that, I would encourage her to head to the other side of the counter where she could buy some nice earrings or a bracelet. It’s just not productive to be so fixated on your own engagement that you try on a ring every damn month. What do they say about that? “A watched pot never boils”?

There’s more at NPR, and I’m chuckling at the way they describe Hewitt’s writing style “the late stages of an Internet message-board meltdown.” Overall it sounds like a silly book without much going for it in the way of useful advice:

Called The Day I Shot Cupid, it is subtitled, “Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt, And I’m A Love-aholic.” Yes, this means that her name is on the cover of the book twice. As you can see from the cover, this book is about very serious advice for women about how to be happy. Despite the fact that I feel like I am walking right into a trap set by a publisher who expects this book to sell with an Irony Multiplier of about 8.5, I simply cannot help myself. Here are ten completely awesome things that happen in this book.

1. On page two of the introduction, the word “TRUTH” (in all caps, thusly) is followed by 23 exclamation points. On page three of the introduction, the word “love” is followed by five question marks. Two sentences later, the word “CUPID” is followed by two exclamation points. Three pages into the book — pages of the introduction, which comes after the preface — you’re already basically reading the late stages of an Internet message-board meltdown.

2. On her own press: “I cannot even tell you how many times I’ve been reading an article, happy with what they have written, focusing on all the right things, and then, like the clap, it appears: serial dater.” It seems to me that there is a very unfortunate and obviously unintentional parallel being drawn here between what causes one thing to “appear” and what causes another thing to “appear.”

3. “Guys hate to spoon — they prefer to fork, lol!”

4. “This is embarrassing and personal, but once a month, since I was twelve years old, I go to my favorite jewelry store and try on my dream ring.” She is 31 years old. If this is true, she has made roughly 225 trips to the jewelry store to try on engagement rings. I do not know where to go with this.

5. From the list of 20 Things To Do After A Breakup: “Make out with a stranger (he must be gorgeous or you’ll feel worse).”

6. From the list of 10 Things To Do Before A Date: “Spray tan is a must.”

7. From the list of “Strikes,” where if a guy has three, you forget it: “He keeps saying ‘That’s so dumb’ when you’re talking.” Oh … Jennifer Love Hewitt. I’m so sorry that possibly might have happened to you once or twice or I’m assuming you might not have brought it up.

8. “Remember, your body is a temple, not a 7-Eleven.”

9. From the list of “What A Man Should Know”: “How to pick a diamond,” and “To always have a coat for you.” A coat for you? Always? He should always have a coat for you? And pick out diamonds? I am beginning to think that Jennifer Love Hewitt and I do not share exactly the same priorities vis-a-vis romantic situations and also who is in charge of choosing and transporting our clothing.

[From NPR via WeSmirch]

The tenth point is all about how Hewitt bedazzles her mons, a story which has received quite a bit of press. I’m not going to get into that except to say that it looks painful on several levels.

I just saw Hewitt on The Today Show on Tuesday, and she was so warm and funny. Like Kaiser mentioned a couple of days ago, I also like Hewitt and find that she’s growing on me. She’s got a great attitude about her breakup with co-star Jamie Kennedy, and is handling herself well as she promotes this book. That said, she doesn’t seem to have a real clue about men and dating. It’s like she’s put so much emphasis on getting married that she’s not pausing to question what she really wants in a man and a relationship.

While Hewitt was cute and friendly on The Today Show, she did say some things to Meredith Viera that I just found sad. She said that women are giving mixed signals to men and that we need to find one role to take in a relationship and stick with it. On the surface that may sound like good advice, but when you read between the lines it’s like Hewitt is trying to take the complicated issue of relating to a partner and reduce it into how she presents herself. She said “I feel like there’s more I need to learn about myself before I can completely give the perfect version of myself to somebody.”

When Meredith asked about a passage in Hewitt’s book in which she wrote “Women need to decide who they want to be in a relationship, do they want to be the woman, the boss or the equal?” She explained “Maybe men have a point when they say we’re incredibly complicated and they’re not sure what we want. I think it’s because women want to be really powerful, but they also want to be the girl. That doesn’t always mix well. You can’t sort of say ‘I want to wear the pants, but now buy me dinner and open the car door.’ I think that women have to better figure out who to be in a relationship, sort of stick with that consistently and maybe the guy will figure out better how to deal with them.”

It all sounds so contrived. Just be yourself and work on relating to your partner authentically, don’t adapt some silly persona in an effort to keep a man on the hook. Relationships change and require different roles for both parties. Plus, it’s not all up to the woman to make it work! Stop trying on engagement rings and thinking about how you need to change in order to keep a man, and get out there and live your life, J. Love! The best men come along when you’re happily doing other things.

Jennifer Love Hewitt Shows Up at Esprit Opening

Jennifer Love Hewitt Signs Copies Of The Day I Shot Cupid

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31 Responses to “Jennifer Love Hewitt says she tries on an engagement ring once a month”

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  1. whatevs says:

    What a weirdo.

  2. Zelda says:

    Blech.
    She is very much a kind of person I would not hang out with.
    I think she probably just loved high school and stayed there mentally.

  3. Rianna says:

    I don’t think that I have ever just went to try on engagement rings. Maybe I am the odd one? Who knows?
    She always gives me the vibe of a 16 year old girl.

  4. lucy2 says:

    So glad someone gave her a book deal so we can learn these pearls of wisdom.

    This kind of crap is the reason I don’t like her. She seems so immature and fake, and must have some sort of self esteem issues. All she seems to care about it making herself perfect for Mr. Right, which to me seems like a sad way to live.
    Even with very minimal talent, IMO, she has managed a lengthy Hollywood career, and should be happy and proud of that. She should just go buy that damn ring for herself and stop putting all self her value in what guy she’s dating.

  5. Erin says:

    Wow, she is NUTS. Who does that? No wonder she isn’t married – she obviously has a huge hang-up/obsession about it.
    I’ve never had an interest in trying on engagement rings, but I can totally see how doing that ONCE IN A VERY GREAT WHILE would be fun. Once a month screams insecure lunatic, as does JLoveHew in general.

  6. dread pirate cuervo says:

    If she’s known exactly which ring she’s wanted for 20 years, why didn’t her ex-fiancee buy it for her? This is very sad, very pathetic.

  7. Julia says:

    Before I wondered why she’s been engaged a million times, but the ring covetousness makes total sense now.

    I never understood women who wanted to be married more than they wanted to be with someone in a good, healthy relationship. Like if they had to pick one, they’d pick the former. Stories like, “Well I knew I wanted to be married by 30, so I told him to propose or get out” have always creeped me out. Is the relationship good/healthy/etc? Stay in it with or without some stupid rock. And people wonder why the divorce rate is so high…

    I just got engaged after 6 years of coupledom and everyone assumed the delay was because of his cold feet, but really it was the lack of necessity. We had a house, a dog, and were basically married, but now it makes more sense for us to be legally married. No rush. We could have continued on that path with no marriage forever and it would not have made me feel any less his partner. I love shiny jewelry, but too many people want the wedding and not the marriage.

    I just went to a big expensive wedding for a co-worker. Over $100 a head and she’s a student. Her dress was like 2 grand. They have already filed for divorce, and she told me like 3 months after the wedding that she didn’t love him. Wish I’d known that before I shelled out 400 bucks for the hotel room. Crazy people. 🙂

  8. Lem says:

    4. “This is embarrassing and personal, but once a month, since I was twelve years old, I go to my favorite jewelry store and try on my dream ring.” She is 31 years old. If this is true, she has made roughly 225 trips to the jewelry store to try on engagement rings. I do not know where to go with this.
    …….
    I know where to go with this… If they haven’t sold that ring in 20 years and Love is visiting it monthly… They should give it to her! Then she can do one of those “i married myself” stupid lifetime network moments. Maybe if the poor gal gets the ring (which she really pines for) she’ll be less inclined to stress about not actually being married to the next dark haired, soon to be overweight, child man she dates

  9. Lem says:

    CB: you’re friend actually called and said that… what a Biotch… rude rude rude
    I hope you took a really junk gift… and a date!

  10. Rianna says:

    True Julia… you could have spent it on a real holiday. I hope the wedding food was good.
    I agree that most girls just want to be married for the dress, cake and attention… they don’t think about the day after the wedding and the day after that and so on..

  11. Lem says:

    I hate my wedding ring. It’s so not me. I never wear it. 14 years it’s been pulled out to go to other peoples weddings and put back in the box. 🙂
    it’s not about the ring

  12. Bodhi says:

    She looks amazing in that 1st picture!

    What she needs to do is get a damn life. That old (obnoxious) addage about finding someone when you aren’t looking is totally true. I met my husband at the dog park & believe me, neither one of us was actually looking for a future spouce. She just needs to chill out!

    My hubby has no clue how to pick out a diamond & he doesn’t carry a coat around for me, but he does cook & do the laundry & that is a-ok with me!

  13. xxodettexx says:

    @Julia, i completely agree with everything you said! luckily for me, i was dead set at an early age to live my life in the moment and not get caught up in the perfect life track [i.e., graduation, engagement, marriage, kids, my 30s!] many of my peers that married for the wrong reasons are either stuck in a terrible marriage they cannot get out of for many reasons such as financial reasons, or they were disvorced at a young age and are now lamenting it…

    not that i am knocking getting married young, my parents did it and they are still together 30 years later and STILL in their honeymoon stage, but they got married for [what i believe are] the right reasons! LOVE, friendship and a genuine want to be around their significant other

    sigh, this article depresses me… jLove seems to be focusing on “the Ring” and not just finding someone to connect with on a deep level… knowing there are girls out there that think like this just makes me sick

  14. terry says:

    It would be my privilege to get on bended knee and offer Jennifer a diamond ring!

  15. anon says:

    i like her mostly but seriously if she wants a ring that badly she should just go buy one. however i really doubt that she actually goes and tries on rings every month. who has the time for that sort of thing?

  16. Cat says:

    What does your ring look like, Lem? How bad could it be lol

  17. Alarmjaguar says:

    Other folks have said it pretty well, but I’d add that all of her priorities for a guy are about things (coat, ring, diamonds, etc) and not about an actual person. Dude, get a personnel shopper, you’ll be happier. No person, male or female, wants to feel like you are only interested in them b/c they know how to buy you things…they want you to like them for who they are. And don’t even get me started on her whole, you can’t be a multi-faceted individual b/c that sends mixed messages, so just act out a role. Grrr

  18. Kitty2000 says:

    I actually understand that bit about deciding who to be in a relationship. Kind of. I have the greatest man (I kid you not) and I like to consider myself independent and on equal standing with him but when I want him to get rid of spiders, cockroaches, etc, he looks at me as if to say “what the hell? who are you again?”

  19. Jenny says:

    I don’t know much about her, but if I remeber correctly she’s been engaged before, yes? How the hell didn’t her fiancé buy her the ring she’s been dreaming about since she was 12?
    (Just wanted to add that I’m not one of those “a diamond the size of my eyeballs or see yourself out” girls. My fiancé proposed with a ring from a bubblegum maschine…and the proposal was perfect :))

  20. Boo says:

    She should just buy herself the ring. My mother never got an engagement ring but always wanted one. After her divorce she started collecting antique engagement rings, which I think is very cool. What is the deal with some women thinking they can’t buy themselves the jewelery they love? Perhaps it could be a statement that Hewitt is going to try and like herself, by herself.

  21. gg says:

    Poor silly girl has got it all backwards. She needs to buy herself the ring and wear the stupid thing if it means so much. Not buying the every month thing either.

    Also, the pic with the metallic dress? Ouch, babe, the hair and dress look terrible!

    Boo: I do the same thing! I collect antique wedding bands from ebay – used diamonds are CHEEP and prettier.

  22. Lindsay says:

    @ Rianna- no you are not alone. I used to like looking at them probably around the same time she did 12ish. I have only been once and tried on rings but I like looking at other peoples’ rings and every once in a while my procrastination habit of choice is to look at them. However, since I started coming to this site I have done it a lot less, I just come here! Going once a month is over kill and a bit obsessive so as long as the jeweler doesn’t know your name you are probably golden.

  23. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    Oh, man.

    I have known so many ladies like this. But that’s the training, right? Where do all of the stories and movies end? At the ‘Happily Ever After’, and unfortunately, that has taught us to believe that the ceremony is endgame and she gets subsumed by his golden conjugal aura.

    But how can you feel as if you’re not depriving yourself of a lot of the joys of life if everything before that is treated as a precursor? Training, auditioning, logistics, strategy, bow-hunting, visualization–just, why? If you turn yourself into a human pretzel, you’ll exhaust and sadden yourself, feel resentment towards your partner, and said partner probably won’t cotton to the fact that she’s not truly sharing herself with him, and basically believes that he won’t accept her as she is.

    She should be very proud, her hair is very glossy. Maybe she uses horse shampoo or silicone. Possibly cod liver oil.

    Whoever is responsible for buying her a ring should probably branch out into wardrobe, you can see half of her bra in that medium shot in the black top.

  24. Catherine says:

    Something about her sweetie-type thing she tries to pull off just shouts: NEEDY!

  25. snapdragon says:

    she’s getting more and more like a crazy cat lady, isn’t she? kind of pathetic.

  26. Lindsay says:

    @ Catherine – reading just these ten things needy is not even close. It so far beyond it I would imagine a ton of women labeled “needy” look easy going next to her ad may take offense to her ruining their label. (Like Lindsay Lohan is ruining mine, other than the $100 million from E-trade thanks to her perfectly reasonable example, I wish they at least named her -ey ).

    One day being “hewitt” or “jlh” or some other derivative will one day be the label for women leaps and bounds ahead of other “needy women.”

    Also, reading some of your comments I agree with a lot of you. There is pressure to get married, have a beautiful, expensive wedding, and one heck of a rock on the left hand. Others like JLH have idealized it and dreamed of it for so long now that the wedding is the fixation not the marriage. Your wedding is just one day, the marriage part should hopefully last much longer. But no matter how fairy tale the proposal and wedding are it will not end with a happily ever after that is constantly perfect. Probably why movies just show the wedding not the work and ups and downs of an actual marriage.

    Not that everyone that has their perfect wedding is that way. Hopefully you are only a bride once and it should be a special day. The relationship should be the priority, you need to prepare for that too.

  27. Confuzzle says:

    I knew a young woman who was so desperate to be married she’d bought a wedding dress which cost several thousand dollars. She was 20, at the time, and single. It’s just so desperate. A lot of women who dream of the big day and not the marriage should go into event planning. It may be they’ve missed their calling.

  28. snap says:

    She’s every man’s nightmare.

    I’m telling you now, the kind of men that actually -want- to marry don’t want their broads taking her advice.

    Those are the ones you F*ck and chuck.

  29. Hautie says:

    She needs bangs. Or maybe a slight fringe around her face.

    The “parted in the middle with no bangs” look just makes her face look oddly shaped.

  30. mags says:

    aiesh…poor girl. where are her good girlfriends to smack some sense into her?

  31. snapdragon says:

    “Those are the ones you F*ck and chuck.”

    wow…that’s classy.