I know people hate Heidi Montag and that half of you are going to be screaming “BAN!” in the comments, but I occasionally like to write about Heidi Montag and/or Spencer Pratt when they do something especially idiotic or provide a quote that is pure comedy gold. I mean, I get it. They’re f-cking idiots and horrible human beings and I should just ignore them. But every now and then they’re funny to laugh at, aren’t they? Anyway, I was skimming the transcript (from US Weekly) from an interview Heidi did with Ryan Seacrest yesterday, and it’s totally ridiculous. Heidi was talking about all of the twenty million plastic surgery “procedures” she had done to her face and body, and she claimed that she had “my back scooped.” When asked what the hell a “back scoop” was, Heidi said: “I actually didn’t know. I might be the first one to try it. It carves out your back a little bit.” Are you f-cking kidding me?
Sounds painful!
During a Monday radio appearance for On Air with Ryan Seacrest, Heidi Montag revealed new excruciating details about her plastic surgery marathon earlier this year, in which she underwent ten procedures in one day.
In addition to familiar-sounding enhancements — nose, cheekbone and chin jobs, eyebrow lift, breast enlargement, fat injections — Montag said that she also “had my back scooped.”
When Ryan Seacrest asked her to clarify what a “back scoop” is, Montag replied, “I actually didn’t know. I might be the first one to try it. It carves out your back a little bit.”
The star said she also “had my waist cinched in on both sides.”
And the reality star has all the gory details on tape. “I have the footage of my ten procedures,” Montag warned. “Going into it, getting it done…I’ve watched a little bit.” The bloody footage might see the light of day in a future reality show, Montag hinted.
Post-surgery, Montag says she “has a great body now,” but there are drawbacks. “I’m very weird about hugging people now — [my body] is very fragile.”
And, with breasts that are now size “E or F” depending on the bra, Montag said that jogging is also out.
The Hills star also talked up her ambitions to be the “blonde Tomb Raider,” and it turns out she shares a fondness for weaponry with the original Lara Croft, Angelina Jolie.
“I actually have been training with guns and knives for years,” Montag said. “I go to the firing range. I’ve been training with my M4s and Glock-19 for years!”
And despite breakup rumors, she and husband Spencer Pratt are doing just fine. “After everything we’ve been through — it’s a lot for any couple to go through — everything’s better now,” she assured Seacrest.
The couple may move “to Costa Rica or somewhere in Latin America,” she added. “I think we’re gonna go there and figure it out,” said Montag, who doesn’t speak Spanish.
Is she sad about The Hills ending? “I couldn’t be more excited to move on,” she countered. “I’ve been doing this since I was 18…I’m ready to show my own reality.”
[From Us Weekly]
So, her body is so “fragile” that no one can hug her, but she’s still training with weapons and she still wants to be (chuckle, snarf) the “blonde Angelina Jolie”. For the love of God. I’m starting to think Heidi’s goal in life is to become a completely mechanized Fem-Bot. She’s mostly plastic anyway, and yet… I don’t even think she’s attractive enough to be a Fem-Bot. But that’s not what Uber-Bitch Kristen Cavallari thinks… she told Us Weekly, “Honestly, Heidi looks better in person.” Ouch! Chuckle.
UPDATE: A lot of you are talking about the cellulite photo below – the photos are from a few weeks ago, and people made a big deal at the time about how she still has cellulite. I thought it was a little mean, but whatever. The bitch is crazy, so who cares? Here’s an addition photo, a close-up of her thigh:
She should’ve gotten that cellulite “scooped” instead. smh
Um…what is going on with her thigh in the first pic? I mean, she doesn’t look big enough to have that much cellulite.
All that surgery and she still has cellulite?!?
OK, who drew thunder thighs on Heidi? Fess up.
can we stop posting stuff about this fake bitch please? she looks like she’d melt in the sun.
Firstly, what’s with the cottage-cheese-thighs in that second picture? I’m not having a go at her for cellulite but it seems really odd that someone as obsessed as her would deign to allow anything so natural as a bit of dimpled body fat to remain on their bod. Is it the only bit of her that’s still real? Does it remind her of happier times, when her face moved and she could hug people without bleeding?
Seriously, too fragile to hug?! That’s the saddest, most pitiful thing I’ve heard in my life. Spent a fortune making herself look like a Barbie doll and all she’s done is make herself look worse, older, faker, and she can’t even hug another human being. Why doesn’t she just have herself vacuum-packed? Sure, she’d suffocate, but it’s not like she’s actually alive at the moment, is it?
I’ve never watched that insipid show “The Hills” but I did see a bit of the previews for the finale on “The Soup” and it appears Heidi asks her Mom if she thinks she’s “pretty” now after her surgery and her mother asks her to rephrase the question.
That has to hurt. I mean, I believe her mother should be honest, but damn. It’s a shame, if this girl wasn’t such a famewhore I would feel sorry for her and all her psychological hang ups.
ugghhh, this girl is so delusional it is funny. I see the thigh issue everyone is posting about. It looks like a bad angle from the sun, which can make alot of people’s legs look worse than they are.
OK who photoshopped the cellulite on her ginormous thigh? Because you JUST KNOW she doesnt have cellultie for REAL! blah ha ha!
Firstly, how does she still have cellulite after all that surgery?
Secondly, who the F*CK would let this chick anywhere near a gun?? I don’t think I’d trust her with a water pistol.
Maybe she had some back bacon?
I just added another photo, a close-up of her cellulite. I didn’t Photoshop this, this how her legs really look!
Please DON’T ban them lol! I love to read about Speidi. They make me feel like an intelligent, contributing human being 😉
That back scoop thing made my back hurt. I have had back problems ever since having my daughter 3 years ago (I had a botched epidural) so if she was doing it from a pain perspective I could totally understand but from a vain point of view?
The back is full of nerves, is not generally that fatty and it is designed the way it is for a reason. Scooping just sounds dangerous and excessive.
looks like someone pasted mischa barton’s thigh on her. cute. send a copy to heidi. she’ll be purging in her bathroom for the next 4 years.
Wow… for someone who’s so insane about her body, you think she’d realize that jogging (which she can no longer do due to her utterly retarded breast size) is the one of the best ways to stay in shape. All that means is that she’ll need lipo like every year to suck the fat out that she can’t burn through exercise, since she’s so concerned about having boobs “size H, for Heidi”
omg *shakes head*
gurrl call your surgeon stat and have those thighs scooped!!
@ Bullett – purging? Not severe enough. She’ll just have that leg amputated and replaced with a prosthetic limb.
I mean, who cares about such mundane things as walking and being grateful for your health? What’s important is the pursuit of NAZI-ESQUE PHYSICAL PERFECTION. Seriously, why not? If it’s acceptable for her to have fake tits, fake nose, fake cheeks, fake… back (?!), why not go the whole hog and remove the leg that breeds the cheese?
Skinny people can have cellulite too, sheesh! There is not alot they can do about it from what I understand. Pretty cruel to highlight it, she is so deranged she might just get all of her thigh flesh scooped as well. I can see it now she is going to end up like the face of Beau from Dr. Who.
The legs in the top two photo cannot possibly be the same legs in the photo with tan shorts and pink heels – can they? I know cellulite is more in the pack and sides but the legs in the pink heek pic look perfect and in the other two photos where you can see some of the thigh where there is no cellulite, well, they do not look that good even towards the front. Is the pink heel one shopped? Weird – she’s weird and a complete moron who should try not to talk.
I think she had her brain scooped.
I don’t think it is cellulite. I thinks he is walking by a pond and the reflection of the water is hitting her leg. This is ridiculous, are they trying to drive her to more surgeries? We know she is insane, we know she’ll do it…
Looks like they photoshopped Mischa Bartons thigh onto hers.
Kate, if I was her (which, thank f*ck I’m not), I’d take up swimming. With those floatation devices on her chest, she’d be awesome at backstroke.
Does anyone else get the willies when thinking of having there back scooped?!
I mean I picture someone grating my spine inward- ugh it makes me sick.
I wanna know who allows this lunatic to have a gun in her hand!
@scout – I think she is wearing shorter shorts in the pink shoe picture, making her legs look longer. And it’s pretty common for legs to look much bigger from the side or back than front. I know mine do!
Cellulite, not much you can do about it, trying to remove it usually just makes it worse, since it comes from a weak tissue matrix under the skin.
Yeah, that looks like a photoshop job. It doesn’t even match the right leg in the same picture, and definitely not the legs in the lower picture with the teeny brown shorts. She actually has really lovely, albeit thin as all get out, legs.
I watched a few episodes of the Hills, but it was so annoying how these girls have no self-esteem and are not role models for young women or any woman for that matter. The way Audrina kept putting up the that douche’s bs is beyond me and all of them behaved in this manner. Heidi had already had a lot of work done and I thought she looked lovely, now she looks scary, plastic and wooden. It is so sad.
I’m with padiddle – I don’t think that lipo can do anything about cellulite.
She has F size boobs and it is a revelation that she cannot jog. That was hilarious.
Back scooped – man, that sounds just so awful. I think I will pass on that.
That is photoshopped.
Maybe it’s bad lipo? Can’t that leave you sort of lumpy if it’s not done right. Part of me can’t stand her and all those like her – no talent morons who force their way into celebrity, but the other part of me feels sorry for her. I think she is so desperate to have fame and so messed up in the head that she’s basically butchered herself for no reason at all, and is willing to just about whore herself out to stay in the spotlight. I think she needs some serious help.
This will drive Miss “Christian Barbie” back to the plastic surgeon but quick. What bothers me about this fool is how she goes on about loving God and being a good Christian……why doesn’t she take a few bucks out of the plastic surgery fund and donate it to charity??? She’s just an ass.
She looks better in person? What’s the point of that? She wants to be on film, she needs to look better on film than in person!
ANYONE can have ‘hail damage’ on the legs, no matter how skinny… it is just the luck of the draw, my mom has it… I eat Easy Cheeze sprayed on Doritos every day and I don’t have it, I am not ‘skinny’, my mother in law who eats only organic, works out 4 times a week, is just downright fit and drop dead beautiful and about 100 lbs dripping wet has major hail damage. It can’t really be fixed, nor should it, it doesn’t mean a person is more or less sexy than anyone else.
Sorry, I am on my soapbox but when will we stop altering people to be ‘beautiful’, even with the best MDs that ‘nip and tuck’ will fade and if the person you are with is simply an accessory, who will be your soulmate and hold your hand when you need it in the end? The most beautiful people I know might be passed over at first glance simply based on their looks, but you couldn’t find a kinder heart and soul if you tried.
@Pebbles, Miss Christian Barbie doesn’t think that God did a good job with her body. She had to go correct God’s work.
She had a beautiful face and a nice body (first season of The Hills). Too bad, about the lack of direction and lack of responsibility.
In the bottom photo, she looks deactivated. Lights off, nobody home. :/
Kaiser, as someone said in another post, it’s ironic that this site is called Celebitchy, yet you’re waving a finger about the meanness of talking about her cellulite. She’s a “celebrity”, so she has to take the bad with the good. Everyone on gossip sites talks about celebrity looks. The only way we can’t be mean is that the site has a no “bodysnarking” rule, as Jezebel.com would say, and then the site wouldn’t make posts about how someone looks in an outfit or their new facelift.
Thin people get cellulite, and I’ve seen overweight people with no cellulite. For me, it’s not that she has it, it just that she should have enough money to correct the problem, even without surgery.
I’d like to think that in the picture of her drinking sadly through a straw, she had a moment of clarity and saw her life as it really is. Empty and vacuous. Unfortunately the reality is probably “Oh crap, my nail varnish is totally clashing with this tablecloth”.
Women are seriously nuts sometimes. The same commenters who go ape-S over the slightest nitpicking over cellulite (all women have it, blah blah) are acting like it’s a sin above. Personally, it looks like the lighting/shadows emphasized it. Everyone has a little bit in the right light.
I will admit Heidi’s face looks *slightly* less painful in these photos but then she had to go say “back scoop” and then I saw the below pics of her body and now she looks all new levels of painful .
It’s certainly a revelation to me, as a lady currently wearing an F size bra, that I can’t jog. I’ve been running for years. With F size boobs. It’s not hard Heidi.
Maybe she means right now, before everything gets a chance to really settle in? Jogging with big boobs is easy with a couple of good training bras strapping them down.
Texasmom wrote: “I think she had her brain scooped.”
I think you may be right on the money. 😉
The picture is definitely photo shopped. There were a ton of pictures of her in those shorts on almost ever gossip site and none showed any cellulite. As sad as she is, I think the person who spends their time photo shopping cellulite onto sad, pretend celebrities is even more pathetic. Now I’m starting to wonder about Misha Barton’s pictures.
I just saw a ‘before’ pic of her, she really was quite pretty… not sure why she messed with her face like that. Not that she looks ugly now, but it doesn’t seem like she needed to do that. She must have terribly low self esteem.
Doesn’t Lipo cause dimpleing with all the poking around in the fat. Look at Tara-a-dise.
@TaylorB: I don’t get why she messed with her face, either. Now she doesn’t look unique, she just looks like a cookie-cutter-over-surgeried L.A. blonde. Where’s the appeal?
That level of surgery is definitely rooted in very low self esteem. A girl I knew in college spent $8K on lipo because at a size 4 she was “too fat”.
both she and her freak of a husband give me the creeps.
I’m hoping their 15 minutes are at 14:59, because how many more stunts can they think of to stay “relevant” and in the tabloids?
I’m surprised that when Heidi walks around there’s not a loud, whistling sound around her head from the breeze passing right through her ears with no obstruction. . .
Sure, I’ve met dingbats and airheads, but I’ve never encountered anyone as vacuous and vapid as Heidi. I’ve never watched the Hills, so could it be an act? Because I don’t know how someone could honestly be that stupid and clueless. Really?
Let me say something about cellulite and liposuction — lipo does not totally remove it, and frequently only makes it worse. If a person is predisposed to have cottage cheese thighs, and they have chunks of said cheese removed, there are going to be more dips at the removal site, hence more shadows. The only way to mask that (temporarily) so it doesn’t show, is — guess what — a thigh lift (more surgery).
Re: the “how can you pick on her for having cellulite” comments – I for one am not (and I don’t see many who are, actually). Cellulite is natural and as several people have said, so long as there is any fat on your body (and there SHOULD BE FAT ON YOUR BODY!) you might have cellulite no matter what you do. C’est la genetics. It’s only surprising that she hasn’t demanded its removal yet.
No, I’m ragging on her for being a braindead famewhore and a shockingly pitiful human being, albeit one becoming less human every day with every silly surgery. How dare she have human imperfections! I BET SHE EVEN SWEATS SOMETIMES! Come on Heidi, get those glands removed! Have your pores cemented shut! If you can survive without a brain you can survive without sweat glands, what’s stopping you?
Her thigh must be photoshopped. no way that girl has cellulite. She’s young and tiny and you KNOW she would’ve gotten that taken care of during her fifty hour surgery.
Kristin,
Being fat, thin, young or old does not determine if a person has cellulite, it is genetic. About half or more women have it, doesn’t matter how much they weigh, or eat, or if they work out it is simply how the normal body fat settles in a particular person. She looks fine, a bit of hail damage on the thighs isn’t going to change that.
I hate the bitch, but circling her cellulite isn’t helping anyone.
@Jeri is right- the lipo probably caused the dimpling- OR as many others have suggested, this picture was photoshopped to add the cellulite. The only reason I think this is that if she was that bad, we’d have seen it in a bazillion other photos.
I think its a public service announcement to post about Speidi and be mean. Here is why: this girl deserves any criticism she gets for her actions and lifestyle- Frankly if we, the public, don’t voice our opinions of horror and disgust, then someone out there (either teenaged girls or the media) will think its OK to be like her, do what she does…
I hate the biatch, but that cellulite is photoshopped. Her other leg is smooth compared to the other. NO way. Although I think she needs to fix her nose again. She looks like a pig
Photoshopped — I looked at the photos on other sites and they were not like this. I wish I could find a link — grrr.. if I find one, I’ll post it here.
Sorry, I hate Heidi, BUT that is Photoshopped. That is not her leg. That isn’t even the leg of a woman 300lbs. Yes, I know thin people can have cellulite too, but that is not her leg. No way.
FluffyKittenTail, I posted a link, just went to google and found the originals.. i searched : Heidi Montag on set movie .. and came up with tons of pics.. no cellulite.
Fake-ass ho.
“I actually have been training with guns and knives for years,” Montag said. “I go to the firing range. I’ve been training with my M4s and Glock-19 for years!”
…riiiiight
It’s not cellulite. It is the side effect of too much fat being liposuctioned out of thighs that were thin in the first place…case in point..Tara Reid and her stomach disaster.
That is really weird because I saw pictures of her from behind in those tan shorts and her legs looked pretty awesome.
I gotta admit, I would love to have her body (with smaller boobs.) At least the body in the last picture.
I wonder if they scooped her back fat?
once again, heidi highlights the dire need for improved access to mental health care services in this country. im not even joking. this girl needs serious help upstairs. i think part of the problem is that she’s just dumb, but then that’s compounded by whatever mental health issues she’s got going on.
The texture of her neck compared to her face in the first photo fascinates me.
Yeah I doubt that cellulite is real. There’s no way she would have missed that area when she was having everything else melted down and re-poured.
I hate to say it, but the photo with the cellulite looks photoshopped. It doesnt even fit with the other pictures out there of her.
Bottom line, I’m not a fan of this girl/woman.
But, we “adore” tons of celebrities that have had as much, if not more, plastic surgery as her. They just come “onto the scene” with their surgery done…This girl started a show when she was BARELY an adult (18 yrs!!) and went front and center in the public eye–in an industry that places the highest value on beauty…Everything she did just WAS in the public-eye…Including her surgery…
At least she didn’t try not to acknowledge it..She talked about it becasue inquiring minds wanted to know and how many of you either bought the people issue with the full spread or looked for it online???
She talked cause we we’re listening. She acts like she does cause we’re looking.
The media loves to play this shi*t up, she did not have what they called “10 plastic surgeries in one day”. I work with a plastic surgeon and it is amazing the spin they can put on this:
She had:
mini brow = takes maybe 45 minutes
botox= this is an office procedure that was probably done at the end of the surgery while she was coming out of anesthesia, takes 5 minutes
liposuction = in her areas probably took about 45 minutes
fat injections = from the fat they had already sucked, this is what is used so another 15- 20 min for the fat injections
Ears pinned back = can be done in an office under local, takes like maybe 20-25 minutes
Breast revision and nose revision take the longest depending on what has to be done, combined maybe 2.5 hours.
So called “butt augmentation” = I am assuming that she did not get butt implants, instead using the fat they took from the liposuction they injected it to her butt so add another 15 minutes for that
The media makes it sound so much worse
She looks like one of those sexdolls you inflate with a bicycle pump.
Why the American women are so obsessed with these uglifying sun tanning, & boobs’ augmentation! Both are among the most unæsћetic practices one can resort to. About Heidi I am sorry for her(no malice implied). I am truly dolorous.