I don’t even know where to begin with Jessica Simpson. She’s just so dumb. And her style is so… gross. Like, she doesn’t known how to dress for her lovely, petite, curvy figure, she doesn’t know how to put away the boobs, she doesn’t know how to stand or pose or wear clothes that will de-emphasize her shoulders, she doesn’t know how to not dress in curtains from the 1960s. She also thinks it’s cute to match blue nail polish to your blue curtain dress. At least her hair isn’t terrible? I guess. But I don’t even think her hair and makeup look that great here, although I’m glad to see she didn’t actually cop off her hair into that Edie Sedgwick look she was sporting yesterday, although it would have been cute.
Speaking of Jessica and makeup and styling, while talking to journalists on the red carpet of this Good Housekeeping event, Jessica defended her May Marie Claire cover and photo shoot. Jessica claims that sh-t was truly makeup free. Hmm…
Jessica Simpson has a message to those who think she wore concealer or blush on April’s Marie Claire cover: “I absolutely was not wearing makeup,” she told UsMagazine.com Monday at a Good Housekeeping bash in NYC. “Look at the cover — you can tell! My nose has been broken a couple of times. If you look at a retouched cover of me and you look at the Marie Claire cover, you can see there’s a big difference.”
Why no makeup?
“I really wanted to show women that I’m just a normal person,” she said. “I take the pictures. I don’t know what the magazine is going to do with it after that. I don’t know what the photographer is going to do with it after that, so it was important for me to make sure that they absolutely did not retouch. I just wanted people to see how I really am.”
She also told Us she was wearing a wig in those infamous photos she posed on Twitter Monday.
“I was just having fun,” she told Us of wearing a 60s-inspired pixie cut wig.
Though her mother Tina told Us her daughter would never chop off her hair, Jessica told Us: “Never say never! Maybe, but not right now!”
She also filled Us in on her love life, echoing previous remarks that she’d like to date a doctor or a chef.
“I’m just looking for a normal man!” she told Us. “Just somebody that’s normal! That’s it!”
[From Us Weekly]
I don’t know… I didn’t think the Marie-Claire cover was totally makeup free, just mostly makeup free. I suspect there was some powder and lip gloss and some retouching involved. But whatever, it doesn’t really matter, does it?
Oh, and Jessica really, really, really wants to marry Ken Paves and have his babies:
Sometimes I really feel sorry for Ken. I mean, I’m sure he love Jessica and I’m sure they have a great time together as best friends, but at the end of the day, he has to hang out with Jessica Simpson all the time. I can only take her in small doses, so imagine how horrible Ken’s life is?
Jessica in New York on April 12, 2010. Credit: WENN.
Meh…I’ve seen her look worse. I actually think her makeup looks really good here, but her comments…argh. I just want to shake her!
Isn’t she indirectly saying that there was no photoshop as proof that there was no make-up?
The logic of her confuses me almost as much as her ex’s (Mayer) does.
I think she’s actually looking thinner in those pictures, the dress is fug but her upper body looks less bulky than usual
damn girl, get your shit together, she looks like a tranny
The dress could be cute…but it doesn’t fit her well. I agree that she could work on her posture a bit more, she looks like she is shrugging her shoulders or something.
such a beautiful woman, such terrible taste in clothing. ken paves is NOT a good gay girlfriend or he would tell jessica NO HONEY YOU’RE NOT WEARING THAT!
I actually don’t mind the dress itself. On her, however, just no. I think it would look cute on someone stick thin with no boobs. You are right, though – she just does not know how to dress for her body.
I kinda like the dress and nail polish.. But then again my friends would probably say the same thing about me.. I have no fashion sense 😛
oh my god! she is sooooooo fat! :O
Lift and seperate! Also, no neck and no waist make this dress a big fat NO.
alrighty then.
Unfortunately strapless dresses are not a good fit on anyone.
They always give off the illusion of drooping boobs.
Had there been a couple of thin straps it would have given her enough support.
I love the material and color of the dress. But it still gives her the droopy boob look.
Sadly I have to agree she does not have a clue how to dress for her petite size. Which is a problem for most smaller girls. Not just Jessica.
I love her, but she does need some restyling. It’s fine to wear what you feel, but you have to work WITH your figure, not against it. She has so much figure potential, and she doesn’t even use it right!
Then again, she may be afraid that tabloids will start trying to make her slim if she shows too much…
Yeah, what happened to her neck? I thought she used to have one.
Ken probably only pretends he’s gay so he doesn’t have to date her.
OK, that was mean. I actually like Jessica but she needs a brand-new stylist.
Do you guys ever get tired of critizing everything this girl does? Seriously, she doesn’t look that bad. It gets old reading people pick apart everything this does.
And I’ve watched her show…Ken is 10 times more annoying than she is anyday. I feel bad for her having to hang out with him. He seems to cling more to her than the other way around. JMO.
The main problem with the dress is that it’s ill-fitting. If it were six inches longer and cinched more tightly at the waist, it would look great on her. The colors work on her very well. Her makeup dosn’t seem to work with the dress, though, and neither do the godawful shoes.
I actually like her, and wish her well.
Maybe Ken Paves DOES get super annoyed with her, and maybe the way she looks is his revenge.
I have a similar body type to jessica but I’m shorter and about the same weight… i can’t tell because pictures are misleading she looks a lot bigger than she actually is. What I can say is… short AND curvey is really hard to dress. You almost always look awesome in person but in pictures unless the angle is PERFECT you look bulky and huge. That is all!
Bonfire Beach: your comment “Ken probably only pretends he’s gay so he doesn’t have to date her.” has left me in stiches… Top comment!
I agree with Kolby, I like the dress but it’s not fitted correctly about the middle and would look better with an on-the-knee pencil skirt. Plus, the shoes are heinous.
Other than that, I think she looks good.
The angle of these pictures makes her already short neck look non-existent.
Ugh! She’s cute and every single time it’s all wrong and she ends up looking like a mini refridgerator with heels on.
I also wish she’d get a new hairstyle. Long or short or a different color or something.
I think Ken Paves can only style himself and does no favors for Jessica with his input or advice.
Also–does it seem like Paves has had something done to his face? It looks so weird and pulled in the last few years??!?
ok whats wrong with main page? Mine stuck on jennyjim split, I don’t see any new posts. It’s punishment or something?
she looks nice
it’s ok now, sorry
Jessica looks good, give girl a break
Dressing for your body type is not exclusive to petite women. Any woman needs to be realistic about her body type and dress (or learn to dress) accordingly. As examples, I offer up:
1) Anyone who wears low-cut jeans with a short shirt, so we can better see her muffin-top;
2) Anyone who wears leggings when cellulite is clearly visible through the material;
3) Large-breasted women in denial who don’t wear clothing with adequate support or VBS (visible bra straps);
4) Small women who think it’s cute for us to be able to count their ribs;
5) Heidi and Tori in anything they wear.
It’s really not that hard to learn to dress for your body type.
i actually think she might be losing weight.
@ Red Folder – Agreed about the angle. I see it a lot in red carpet shots, actually, where the star’s bodies end up looking totally disproportionate and alien. Maybe it’s because so many of them are short?
I too would love to see her in some different hair. Like that cute Ken Paves shag she was rocking in the airplane photos… or anything different, really. I think she needs better friends.
ugghh. this is one chick i cant wait to NOT have to read about.
I think she’s looking on the thicker side again but whoever dresses her obviously doesnt really like her or they would do better with her style.
Maybe the magazine let her believe she was doing an unretouched/no makeup photoshoot to humor her in her fantasy that she is the everyday woman’s spokesperson, but gave her some pre-shoot “moisturizer” and secretly worked some post shoot magic so the pictures wouldn’t come out looking like this…
http://tinyurl.com/y2uqe7v
http://tinyurl.com/y73hcqd
I think she’s an absolute doll!
t: Excellent point. Those photos are just … is her nose really that big?
jenn I agree with everything you wrote. Leave the girl alone, she looks great!
i wish you included an actual full length photo of her that wasn’t taken under some weird angle. as of now, it’s hard to see what the dress even looks like on her but from what little is visible she looks just fine.
That blue nail polish…ugh.
So 90s.
That looks like her real hair with no weave. Can’t remember last seeing her without a weave. Maybe she wanted to prove it wasn’t as short as the wig (as some thought).
tasteless whale alert…
and where did her neck disappear??
The only thing you can say for sure is that her “friend” (fameho) Ken Paves did with her wig pics yesterday was a huge retouch with liquify feature of photoshop, because there her face looked half the size it is from this set instead.
Jessica Simpson is a loser of giant proportions.
In every sense.
Pathetic.
I like this dress on her. I think this is best she has looked in awhile. She is a pretty girl skinny or curvier.
I LOVE the blue polish! Nail polish colors come in and out of popularity but no color really ever goes out of style.
Whatev. I think she looks good.
She needs to push her shoulders down. That scrunching gives the effect of fatness around the neck that she just doesn’t have.
She needs a stylist. Or a better one. Maybe the one she has is bad at his or her job. Or is another friend who she can’t fire.
The designer is…
Sir Syllo-ott to alot?
Next Euclid to Euclipunite?
Remember when Barbie’s head would pop off and you would screw it back on, but then the neck would look too short? Well, I think Jess had her head popped off and reattached.
Ken Paves always looks perpetually stoned. Must be the eyelift.
She and I have a lot in common. I dont know how to dress or style for my figure either.
Seriously, no reason to hate on her. It’s not fair. Its like getting into a battle of wits with a special olympics entrant.
You look bad and everyone feels for the other person.
Nothing to be gained. She’s a sweetheart. A brainless, piece of fluff that really shouldn’t offend anyone. Its mean to pick on her. Pat her on the head, patronize her, and move on.
Not hot.
Meh. She looks better here than she manages to look most of the time, which still isn’t saying much.
She looks very pretty but kind of heavy in the middle.
The dress looks ridiculous. I just don’t like her style .
Uh…you can now stop the hate! I am by no means a fan of Jessica Simpson, but she hardly looks as bad as you seem to want us to believe.
Your such a hater try to put on that dress she has on on and see if you look good,probably not ..lol haha ^_^ okay