Hugh Hefner: “The real immorality of infidelity is the lying”

Bunny Boy

Hugh Hefner celebrated his 84th birthday over the weekend, and to celebrate, Hef decided to talk to the press and tell them exactly what he thinks about all of these kids and their crazy sex addictions. Do you feel a “Back in my day…” moment? Breathe easy, because it’s Hef, and although he needs an intervention by archangels to get wood, the man’s mind is still relatively sharp. I love what he had to say:

Hugh Hefner is giving up having multiple girlfriends now that he’s 84. The Playboy legend says he’s sick of keeping a whole harem happy and he wants to stick just with new love Crystal Harris.

Hef, who celebrated his birthday in Vegas over the weekend, told us: “She’s very real, and although she has her aspirations, the major thing in her life is our relationship. The problem with some of the other girls is that there were other motivations, their careers. This is more like true love. She is, as they say, ‘the real deal.’ ”

Hef also had words of advice for cheating husbands Tiger Woods and Jesse James: “When you get married, you make a commitment. I had a lot of girlfriends, but it’s not the same as cheating. I don’t cheat. I am very open about what I do . . . Sandra Bullock’s husband looks like a real creep. I think that when you are in a relationship, you should be honest. The real immorality of infidelity is the lying.”

[From Page Six]

I cosign. Hef is right – what he did is different. He has a lot of girlfriends, and they all know about each other (and live in the same house) and he’s not “cheating” on them (because that would involve a miracle, but besides that, he wouldn‘t). Even when he got married in the 1980s and had his sons with his wife, he didn’t cheat on his wife. They just got divorced and he takes care of her financially, and he went back to being Hef and having lots of girlfriends. This reminds me of what I’ve always thought about Hef – he loves women. His pornography is about the celebration of women – compared to other pornographers, who are all about the degradation of women. As such, I think Hef is saying that when someone like Jesse James or Tiger Woods cheat, it’s about misogyny, it’s about their feelings towards women and commitment and morality.

Hef also chimed in about the whole sex addiction thing and Tiger Woods: “He can [go to rehab] if he wants to. But this whole idea that it’s a sex addiction is a copout. Some people become obsessed with sex, but it’s not like an alcohol or drug addiction. He did it because he could get away with it.” It’s weird that now I kind of want to be one of Hef’s girlfriends now, right?

Paris Hilton at The 2009 Fox Reality Channel Really Awards in LA

Hugh Hefner and latest girlfriend Crystal Harris at the 2009 Fox Reality Channel Really Awards at the Music Box in LA

2009 Fox Reality Channel Really Awards

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54 Responses to “Hugh Hefner: “The real immorality of infidelity is the lying””

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  1. heb says:

    Young Hef looks like Noah Wyle in that pic.

    Crystal Harris has just as much aspiration as other playmates but just doesn’t go on the road to do appearances like the Shannon Twins. She’s starting a make up line and signging career but since she can do those things and be back in the mansion by 9pm–she’s still considered ‘the real deal’

  2. kelbear says:

    I don’t like Crystal because I think it’s obvious she isn’t in this for “love”. I really think he should of kept Holly. She really loved him believe it or not.

  3. Amy says:

    I think Hef is completely charming and while its obvious that the girls are with him for what he can do for them, I can understand how they fall in love with him.
    Sorry shoulda said how some of them fall in love with him.

  4. Tia C says:

    Good old Hef. I like your take that his pron celebrates women instead of degrading them. Maybe that’s why I’ve always kind of liked him. He does have some wise things to say.

  5. Bonfire Beach says:

    Hef would be hard pressed to find someone who truly cares about him. Let’s face it – all those blonde bimbos have “aspirations” but I do think Holly truly cared for him. He should have kept her. I am glad that he’s sticking to one girl rather than have a harem. It made him look ridiculous.

    God bless the old fart.

  6. simplicity says:

    Yep, I’m in, Hef tells it as is. These women know what they’ll be paid, and what terms are in the agreement.

    Gotta love an honest man!

  7. ogechi says:

    Kinda crazy but i like Hef.

  8. Kaboom says:

    I agree with him that “sex addiction” is two things, none of which is an addiction: a convenient way to make really nice money off those claiming they need treatment for it and a “look I’m a sick man/woman, don’t be hatin'” excuse for those caught with their pants around the ankles.

  9. lucy2 says:

    I never thought I’d see the day, but I’m agreeing with Hef’s on marriage and cheating. And that JJ is a creep.

    Of course I still want to sing Joel McHale’s “I am a boat captain” jingle every time I see him.

  10. JuiceinLA says:

    GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok ok, its true that the lying is equally as bad as dipping the wick in pots and pots of ink, but everything this man says sets women back further than SJP’s fake feminism….

    As I read this, for Hef true love means submissive slavery where the only thing that matters is the man…

    “the major thing in her life is our relationship.”

    Are you shitting me???

    “The problem with some of the other girls is that there were other motivations, their careers.”

    I vurped in my own mouth just now.

    That isn’t true love you wrinkled old asphole! you wouldn’t know true love if it hit you in the dong with a bottle of viagra.

  11. Cor says:

    whoa you are way off. Up until very recently he had been married. they were separated for 11 years, not divorces

  12. GatsbyGal says:

    Oh Hef, never change. <3

  13. snapdragon says:

    i agree with hef. wow, i can’t believe i just said that. open relationships are different than cheating, because cheating implies that one partner is being lied to. an open relationship would not work for me & mr. snap, but it works for some couples. as long as everyone knows what’s happening and is OK with it, who cares?

  14. Bek says:

    Call me whatever you like, but I think he’s disgusting. I’m not sure we can confidently say he never cheated on his wife (or wives, or whatever). We’re not allowed to know about things like that in Hollywood. It’s viciously covered up. But beyond all that, I’ve got to say that I still think there’s something wonderful about a guy who’s a one woman kind of man. Does admitting to your douche-actions mean that you’re less of a douche? No. It just means you’re a brazen one, with little to feel sorry for. People keep their affairs, their mistresses and their dabblings secret because deep down, they know its wrong and they know the hurt it causes others. Being flagrantly open about it is a step towards callousness, not the other way around. By that standard, as long as anyone commits a crime or unethical action, they’re a stand-up person because they’re open about it. Right?

  15. fizXgirl314 says:

    Yeah ok Hef, we believe you “true love” it is lol…

  16. Roma says:

    What Hef is saying is that it’s not cheating if you never promised to be exclusive. He is absolutely right; why do so many women feel that they could forgive a one night stand but not an affair? They can forgive sex but not an emotional betrayal.

    To compare it to someone who commits a crime is idiotic.

  17. Lenore says:

    I never thought I’d type this but I agree with Hugh Hefner. On the immorality, and on the sex addiction “cop out” too.

    This is the thing about Hef. A lot of people barf at the concept of this old guy paying a bunch of identikit blonde bimbos to service him and live out his fantasies but at least he’s being honest about what he wants and nobody’s getting hurt.

    Amen to Hef and a belated Happy Easter to the Bunnies. 🙂

  18. Bek says:

    I simply don’t feel that being honest about trashy acts makes those acts any less trashy. I’m entitled to my opinion, as is anyone here. And yes, in my opinion, sleeping around is as devastating as a crime. It spreads disease, it hurts spouses and partners, it breaks the hearts of children. If this man is A-OK, then why aren’t the people in Texas who practice polygamy? Last I checked, the “wives” in that situation were ok with it, so why aren’t we all? Hmm? Double standard much?

  19. Twez says:

    The legal issue in Texas wasn’t polygamy. The allegations were that the men of the church were marrying underage girls.

  20. Kim says:

    The problem was their motivation – oh Lord! Goodness forbid they would want careers outside of being his girlfriend.

    Does he think any of these women, including his current girlfriend, would be sleeping with his old, ugly ass if he wasnt rich and famous???!!!!!! duh! What girl wouldnt need motivation to sleep with him!

  21. ashleigh says:

    @Bek, I actually have no issue with responsible polygamy with consenting adults. That means that safer sex guidelines should be followed, and everyone has to know that there are multiple people involved. So I don’t hold a double standard on this issue. As for children…children shouldn’t be aware of the sexual behavior of adults. I’d no more want my parents telling me about their forays into BDSM (or whatever) than I’d like to hear if they decided to have an open relationship. And I’m an adult now. Sex is a private thing that kids don’t need to receive too much specific information about.

    I definitely agree with Hef. Polygamy isn’t for me, but I’m not going to judge the sexual habits of other informed consenting adults because I don’t want my sexual behavior judged.

  22. Kim says:

    Shes the real deal! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha As IF she would be with him if he wasnt rich and famous and giving her a place to live in exchange for sex. Hugh you are in denial if you think these girls really love you for you. And wasnt he proclaiming Holly to be the real deal a few yrs ago? She was probably to motivated for him -haha! This Crystal girl seems by far the fakest of them of in her attentions towards Hugh. Wow is he in la la land but he is old so let him dream.

  23. Ursaline says:

    I agree with Twez. The grossest part of that Texas thing (I’m not far from Austin myself) was that they were impregnating little girls. More than half of the 50-odd 14-17 year old females at the compound were pregnant, because the cult believed that the “spiritual age” of marriage was 12.

    What Hef does is tacky, but he does seem to be upfront about it. JJ, on the other hand, was spooging in some bimbo’s face WHILE ON THE PHONE REPEATEDLY TELLING SB THAT HE LOVED HER.

    And isn’t that a case of the pot calling the kettle black and sort of being right?

  24. AC says:

    wow. i never thought i’d agree with what hugh hefner had to say. kudos heff for being a man!

  25. Huma says:

    Great remarks, Hef, and great post, Kaiser.

  26. jane says:

    Can’t stand this revolting old perv. He has a sick, demeaning view of women, and those of you who think he’s cool, should check Gloria Steinems expose on his Bunny clubs back in the 60’s.

  27. Jeri says:

    I betcha “the twins” cheated on him.

    Holly sure got over him quick when she left the mansion – I think she just wanted to be Queen Bee.

  28. Bek says:

    I respect your opinions. I understand that everybody is going to feel very strongly on such a sensitive issue. And that’s ok by me. For the record, regardless of the ages of those girls in Texas, whether they’re ok with their situation or not, and regardless of how old Hef is, how many he’s banging, or who or at what time, I’m just not in the support group of it. And I’m by no means a closeted conservative. I’ve actually known several couples who have an open relationship, and three different people from polygamist backgrounds. And their preferences make no difference to me. They’re still great people, though I have to admit I’ve witnessed what happened to them and that’s why I’ve stuck by my own view. My opinion is my own, and I realize it comes in a sea of other views. Sorry if I’ve offended some.

  29. Lilias says:

    I think he’s right about cheating as well. Why not just get a divorce or break up with someone if you feel the need to cheat? It just doesn’t seem right.

    I don’t think being open about being a manwhore makes one less of a manwhore. But it’s not like he’s going around telling these women that he only wants to be with them. He’s not lying to them, he’s not deceiving them.

    Sleeping around is gross, yes. But he doesn’t have a spouse, his “significant others” are all aware of his sleeping around and consent to it and I doubt his kids knew about it until they were old enough to get it. Not that they approved of it (I’m not sure, I don’t know much about Hugh Hefner’s children).

  30. Melinda says:

    I think Holly really loved him, and I am sure he would have been exclusive with her as well. The problem was that she was miserable. She wanted to be married and have a family, and even after a lot of painful fertility treatment, children with Hef wasn’t going to happen. I don’t think Hef could have kept Holly if he wanted to.

  31. Uzi says:

    Well said Hef! Maybe we should send all these celeb cheaters to the Playboy Mansion for sex rehab and some words of wisdom from THE MAN!

  32. jane says:

    interesting juxtaposition of articles on the site today. A modern, decent working woman, Julianne Margulies, talking about how television is now empowering women, placed right next to an article of a sick, selfish, misogynistic dinosaur from the past–a man who made millions from degrading women in every possible way. You young women seriously need to wake up & smell the coffee. I’ve read a lot of articles on political sites the past couple of years where a lot of older women are saying that the Gen Xers, Y’s & Millenials are throwing away all the good work for womens rights that the Boomers and previous generations fought so hard for, and sacrificed so much for. After reading these comments, I’m afraid they’re right.

  33. Anti-icon says:

    Thanks Hef, for keepin’ it real. It’s true, (I know) It’s not the sexcapades that kills the soul, it’s the lying. I hope men take his words to heart and we start to see some correction in this area of infidelity, which DESTROYS families, especially children.

  34. Rosanna says:

    I like Hef’s honesty. I don’t like that he seems to imply that any woman with a career who is in a relationship puts more focus on her career. Macho attitude in my book.

  35. ashleigh says:

    @Bek, I’m not offended. In fact, I appreciate that you’re able to respond to a dissenting opinion without going ballistic.

    I’m bisexual; I know that a lot of people would judge that (both gay and straight). So I have a strict no-judgement policy when it comes to the sexual behavior of consenting adults as long as it is safe.

  36. jzhz says:

    I hardly think that cheating is just about morality and misogyny – I think it’s about self-hatred and a lack of empathy. If you feel comfortable with yourself, and if you know what you want – you either: 1) are in an open relationship/marriage; 2) don’t get married, or let anyone you’re in a relationship with think you’re being monogamous; or 3) commit to a monogamous relationship and remain monogamous. It’s really about honestly with yourself about what you really want. Also, I don’t think all women want monogamous relationships, just as I don’t think all men are cheaters.

  37. Eastbay says:

    But are his “open relationships” a two way street???? I don’t think Hef would put up with his gilfriends dating other men.

  38. snappyfish says:

    I used to watch “the girls next door’ when it was Holly, Kendra & Bridget. Then I read the book “Bunny Tales” by Isabel St. James one of the Hefner 7. It was vile. These girls get $52K a year for being girlfriends. Their car payments made as long as they live in the mansion, plastic surgery and must be home by 9.

    Hef is not delusional. These girls are bought and paid for. He is still married to Kimberly Conrad. He just filed for divorce a few months ago, this occurred when he put the house she and their sons were living in on the market and she sued him for 5 million.

    I do agree that there isn’t such a thing a sex addiction, it is just used as an excuse. But to say this girl is the ‘real deal’ is ridiculous….singing career and make up line…what will she call it? whoretime? purchased chippy girl? L A Hooker?

  39. Solveig says:

    “Hugh Hefner is giving up having multiple girlfriends now that he’s 84.”
    Better late than never.
    I’ve never paid attention to this man before but he was really good looking and charming back in the days.

  40. girlygirl says:

    This man has a great make-up artist or has done a great job of staying out of the sun. His skin is great for his age! Ohhhh…maybe that is what lots and lots of sex does for your skin.

    Hef, what is your secret?

  41. Kat says:

    I agree with Hef.

    Also, I think hell just froze over.

  42. corine says:

    I’m sorry but the guy who made his career out of exploiting stupid young girls should NOT be giving advice to anyone about anything. Hefner is just an egotistical, fameho who made his money/fame out of pimping pretty girls for sex-starved Americans. HOW IS THAT ADMIRABLE? The guy is nothing more than a low-down, dirty pimp. The fact that the American press gives him the time of day is SAD. If he was black, he would be in jail right now.

  43. AnonPlus says:

    His response was pure genius. The truth has spoken.

  44. AnonPlus says:

    Hef at least keeps it honest and has several open relationships with women at one time. He isn’t hiding any one of them.

    He would be an evil cad if he had a wife during those years and was messing around with all those women. Need I mention Tiger Woods or Jesse James?

    He made his life and lifestyle a work of art. Most men would give anything to be able to have Hef’s life and carry on. He at least has the grace to come forth with his take on relationships.

    It was sad to see he and Holly broke up. She truly cared about him.

    Besides, it wouldn’t shock me if he was a little ‘soft in the slippers’. He will never tell us though.

  45. girl says:

    I disagree that the lying is what is immoral. When you cheat, you are breaking a commitment to be monogamous. What Hef does is NOT breaking a promise. They all know what they are getting into.

    I know of women who are married to men who openly cheat on them. No lying involved. They just eff around and dare their spouses to call them on it.

  46. girl says:

    wanted to edit but couldn’t:
    the lying isn’t the *only* immoral part.

  47. Kelly says:

    Word. It’s just dumb and dishonest to look another person in the eye and tell them you’re never going to want to sleep with anyone else, ever. Because if youre thinking about it and wanting it, you might as well be doing it. I think its time we need to ditch this christian monogamy rubbish and be real with each other. It works for me and my squeeze. Dont knock it til you tried it.

  48. Brittney says:

    In regards to criticizing the misogynistic nature of his complaints about his girlfriends’ careers.. it is kind of valid since he was technically their boss. I don’t think he means too much of their time and devotion was taken up by their careers, but that they were actually with him to advance them, and with this girl he believes her motivation is true love. Or am I way off?

  49. sickofit says:

    being happily married, i always know that oneday it could happen and my husband cheats on me and viceversa. but: nothing can take the wonderful time we are having so far. why are some people so scared about cheating? Because it might reveal that their so great and true love isnt so great and true at all? its in those painful situations where it turns out what your relationship is about.
    btw i always liked hugh hefner. hes honest about his lifestyle, hes made alot of money with beautiful girls, but i always felt that when your were a smart one he respected you. hes much better than many men out there.

  50. Slymm27 says:

    Hugh Hefner is true and honest. All men need to live like him, since all of them cheat anyway.

  51. Paula says:

    “But are his “open relationships” a two way street???? I don’t think Hef would put up with his gilfriends dating other men. “

    You are right. Like an emperor, Hef guards his concubines. Kendra remarked that she had to sneak out for sex while living in the mansion. She and the other women were not allowed to date openly. Hef’s relationships with women are much more traditional than he realizes or admits. Across generations and cultures, men have long sought multiple sex partners while expecting wives and girlfriends to be faithful.

  52. Slymm27 says:

    All men in the world cheat! Everyone of them have multiple sexual partners, and if they tell you otherwise, dön’t believe it. They should all live like Hef. Honesty is the best.

  53. Cor says:

    Once again, Hef has been married this whole time!! His divorce was within the last year

  54. Elle says:

    I agree with Heff.
    It’s so much more important to be honest and forthright with people. Someone has a right to know whether or not you’re on the same page with them in a relationship. If you can’t handle something, you need to be an adult enough to admit to it and allow them to make the best decisions for themselves as well.