Paulina Porizkova slams Heidi Montag, Madonna & Kate Hudson

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Call me crazy, but I love some Paulina Porizkova! She’s one of my favorites from the ‘80s. I always enjoyed her as a model, and as a rock star girlfriend/wife (to Ric Ocasek, they’ve been married for 20 years). But I really grew to appreciate her so much more when she became the truth-telling bitch who slammed Tyra Banks after Paulina was dumped from America’s Next Top Model. Tyra and Paulina got into something of a verbal dispute after Paulina’s dismissal, and Paulina came out the victor, just for being awesome and calling Tyra out on her bullsh-t (recap here).

Anyway, Paulina still writes and blogs and keeps it real. She wrote a blog post for the website Modelinia, and she took to task some of the most recent plastic surgery “victims” in celebrity-ville today:

Supermodel Paulina Porizkova calls Heidi Montag a “cheap plastic pool float” and has harsh words for fellow plastic surgery patients Madonna and Kate Hudson as well.

In a blog post for Modelinia.com, Porizkova writes: “Madonna no longer looks like Madonna: what started as a sexy, well-shaped, and somewhat hairy Italian girl has ended as a cool Nordic blonde . . . she is starting to sort of melt away into the stew of the famous women over-fifty-high-cheek- boned blondes-who-cannot-frown.”

As for Hudson, who’s rumored to have recently gained breast implants: “She just looks like any California blond actress. Instead of enhancing, she has diminished herself.”

[From Page Six]

I cosign the sh-t about Madonna and Heidi, obviously. I don’t care how much money Madonna has, or how many hit records, young boyfriends, or fancy estates she has, Madonna has ruined herself with her sketchy plastic surgery. It looks painful, it looks horrible, and it made Madonna seem so fragile, so uncool, so desperate to retain whatever youth she might have been clinging to. As for Heidi Montag, that sh-t’s a lost cause, but “cheap plastic float” sums it up well. The only one I slightly disagree with is Kate Hudson. CB and I were taking about Kate’s new boobs, and we both agreed that if we were as flat as she was, and we had the money and time to get it done, we probably would have gotten implants too. So, no judgment on that part. As far as the assessment of “She just looks like any California blond actress”… um, that’s always been the case! With or without implants, Kate has always been just another blonde.

'Nine' New York Premiere

Heidi Montag shows off her new beach body in a self-designed bikini

Kate Hudson and a friend take in the atmosphere of the Coachella Music and Arts Festival California

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43 Responses to “Paulina Porizkova slams Heidi Montag, Madonna & Kate Hudson”

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  1. Leticia says:

    I just now noticed that Kate Hudson does not have lips. That would bother me more than being flat chested.

  2. annie says:

    Kate Hudson, who? Madonna creeps me out, but she always has. Love Paulina, though.

  3. EllenP says:

    To me, Madonna looks like a 60-some-year-old woman who wants to look ten years younger. It doesn’t work.

  4. Seri says:

    Kate looks heavier everywhere though. arms, neck, belly, legs… in the ‘bikini’ photos, she looks much heavier than normal–I think that’s where the tiny bitty boobs come from. For god’s sake–she didn’t have arm/neck/thigh implants as well! So critical.

  5. Jackson says:

    PP is spot on about Madonna. I really thought she would be one of the few to say ‘screw it’ with plastic surgery. Hmm. Not sure why I thought that now. Heidi whoever – why even bother commenting on her. And Kate? Well, at least she didn’t get something too large for her frame. And yes, she has always been just some random California blond actress…who only got famous because of her mother.

  6. Beth says:

    I don’t know for sure if Kate has implants or is wearing a pushup bra but the fact that I don’t know and nobody can say she definately has them shows they are good. She didn’t go overboard like Heidi. She just got a size that seperates her from a 12 year old boy.

  7. Marjalane says:

    For all Madonna’s holier than thou attitude, she’s pretty damn insecure with herself. She’s one step away from Janice Dickenson. I don’t understand why more “stars” don’t see the value of the Meryl Streep philosophy- respect is SO much better than ridicule.

  8. moe says:

    PP is spot on with Madonna and Heidi. I think madonna looks like an alien with her cheek implants. As far as Heidi…enough said on that one.
    Im still not convinced Kate had her breast done. Those are natural in that pic, implants are easy to spot because of the bowl shape outline and Kate does not have that at all. Maybe she just put on a few pounds? If she did tho, Id understand it too.

  9. wif says:

    I, for one, agree on the Kate Hudson front. Before I used to find her super sexy simply because her body was so different looking than everyone else’s. Now she looks exactly the same as all the rest. The same with Gwen Stefani’s body, I hate her implants, she was so much cooler/hotter before.

  10. wif says:

    moe, you’re incorrect. It depends on how the work is done. If the boobs are put on over top of the muscle tissue, you get that bowl shape outline. If they are put under the muscle tissue they look super natural. My girlfriend had hers done this way and they are beautiful and no one would ever know.

    I’m not willing to rule out plain old weight gain and a good bra though. I just liked her old look better.

  11. JC126 says:

    I don’t think anyone expected Madonna to get all this plastic surgery – I sure didn’t. I suppose it’s because we tend to expect actresses, not singers, to get it? I still think it’s kind of lame to see singers getting surgery, for some reason I can’t explain. You don’t see the guys doing it, after all (except for Axl Rose, which breaks my heart). Dave Grohl isn’t out getting his face lifted. Of course, I do think he’s far more talented musically than Madonna.
    Heidi Montag – ugh. Her face looks like a mask. Pathetic and sad.

  12. bellaluna says:

    Good on PP for calling bullshit on Tyra, Madonna, and anyone else who thinks we’re as stupid as they are. I’m so relieved to read that others find the big-apple-cheeked, permanently surprised-looking women alien-like, too. They look like clowns without makeup, for pete’s sake!

    And “cheap plastic pool float” is a much more polite way of describing her than “cheap plastic blow-up sex toy” but is no less accurate.

  13. suz says:

    I love your choice of photo for Madonna, lol. And you guys are right about Kate Hudson too. I would have championed her decision to just be proud and different and flat-chested, but I respect her for being so conservative with her implants seeing as that is behavior outside the Hollywood norm as well.

  14. nAynAy says:

    She hit the nail right on the mark with the heidi comments. Heidi looks like an absolute freak. How can anyone find her even remotely attractive now? In my opinion, she is the next CAT LADY.

  15. malina says:

    I still don’t think that Kate had implants. And she definitelly doesn’t look like “any California blond actress”. That would take much bigger boobs as well as some face and body surgery + hair and lash extensions etc.

  16. Green Is Good says:

    “Heidi Montag is a “cheap plastic pool float””. Ha ha ha! Well said, Paulina.

  17. CC says:

    agree with you about Paulina’s take on Madonna and Heidi. But re. Kate- I have large breasts for my relatively slim frame and it makes shopping for properly fitting clothes a complete pain…and don’t even get me STARTED on bras. I wish I were as small chested as Kate was…it would make life a lot easier. But then again, if I was naturally flat chested I would feel differently.

  18. pebbles says:

    Love Paulina Porizkova. She’s beautiful, smart and funny…….
    just like me 🙂

  19. Sumodo1 says:

    @Pebbles — of course! Paulina has been model #1 as far as my sister and I were concerned. Beauty, brains, and sensibility. Plus, she found Rick Ocasek “sexy” when most people saw a rock nerd. Once, she was asked why, and she said,(paraphrasing) “Well, he’s Czech, like me!” BTW, he’s aged nicely, too, and they were photographed at an amFAR benefit. (*swoon*)Lovely!

  20. lola lola says:

    I love Paulina! She’s always been opinionated and is a breathe of fresh air in a world of vapid models.

  21. kelbear says:

    I like Kate Hudson, and do not think she is just like all other cali actress wannabe.

  22. Hautie says:

    If you want to see something truly startling, compare a current picture of Madonna to Barbara Walters.

    They look like sisters.

    They both have the same odd looking cheeks and their smiles pull the same way.

    Makes one wonder if they used the same doctor to get the same face.

    I do understand why women in the entertainment business go through the face lifts and such.

    But what I will never understand is why they drastically change the shape of their faces and then want to deny it.

    Kathy Griffin is the only girl I can think of that had major work done and freely admitted to it.

  23. anon says:

    Team Paulina.. if any work donw to her it”s subtle. I doubt it though she’s still great..and FUNNY. I like how she married Ocasek, still together..they are so freaking cool. I like it. And no nasty stories about her/drama…what is not to like. She needs her own show not these other twits!

  24. truth says:

    errrrr…’somewhat hairy italian”?
    are you kiddin’ paulina ?

    1st of all madonna is half italian (if that) ..
    for examples of italian women there are many ..
    how about monica bellucci or numerous others who are 100% italian …
    nobody likes madonna & she does not represent italian beauty by any means ..
    & frankly honey with that ‘lumberjack’ jaw you got ? put yer’ claws back in ….

  25. Katyusha says:

    Madonna in that second picture down reminds me of the puppet Madame.

  26. Wif says:

    @truth, I think what PP was talking about with the “hairy Italian” comment, was that when Madonna first became a mega-star (and I’m shamefully old enough to remember all this) there were pictures leaked of a photoshoot she’d done for Playboy (or something) that featured her having hairy armpits. She took a lot of flack for it from the media, at which she insisted that she was Italian and Italian women aren’t all hung up on the body hair issue like women here are. I don’t think that PP was trying to slam Italian women, I think she meant the opposite, that at one time Madonna was a unique, rebellious beauty who happily embraced her heritage; and now has turned her back on her ethnicity by trying to look like everyone else.

  27. Gigohead says:

    Heidi is downright scary! She has a great future in porn!

  28. Juice in LA says:

    Ha! “I co-sign the” shixza about Paulina (love and props and especially the Tyra smackdown) as well as the criticism of madge and any other hollywierd fool who has plastic surgery.

    That said, when I am feeling fat and lazy, I sometimes wish I were brave enough to get lipo- Even though I know it doesn’t work.

  29. Meg says:

    Am I the only one here who thinks Paulina is a condescending,holier-than-thou proselytizer? I mean, COME ON. Did we need dear Paulina to tell us that Heidi is a freak? No, I dare say we did not. Then to lump Kate Hudson in the same sentence as Heidi? Please. Me thinks Paulina is craving some attention.

    Also, like most holier-than-thou types, she is a hypocrite. Do people not know how much work she has had done? She’s just like the rest of the older model posse, trying to stay young to make some dough. Note to Paulina: SIT DOWN!

  30. J says:

    Kate Hudson is ugly, she has no lips, her eyes are squinty and look like they’re upside down, and she has that weird flat chest her mother has.

  31. rebecca says:

    speaking of hairy…what is going on with heidi’s bikini line? is that a shadow….or what

  32. jover says:

    Team Paulina: the pic of Madonna is just ugly looks like she has a suture scar on the left lower side of her mouth. Agree with all posters on Heidi Montag I’m a guy and she is not sexy. Her future is in low budget porn that they shoot at a Motel 6 and then burn the sheets – Heidi is so far beyond parody she can’t even make quality porn. Kate Hudson is meh – meh as an actress and meh in looks PP’s modeling photos from the late 80s make Kate look like the high school girl that generally takes your MacDonalds order.

  33. katherine says:

    I don’t like the meanness of her comments, but she’s right. I hope Kate didn’t bow to Hollywood and get her boobs done. I think she was very charming and perky before. The bonus of small breasts is that they stay perky forever and you don’t have to pick them up off the floor when you’re 50. Mine are large, and they’ve changed now that I’m in my 30s. Anyways, that’s life.

  34. Aussie Mama says:

    Well said by a classy and still very natural real woman. Not some fandangled Frankenstein created shit, like the women she mentioned. Paulina is still married to Rick Ozyaka from the Cars, a life long relationship/family, away from the bells n whisltes of fake Hollywood. What she say’s is sooooo true. Madonna, the youth obsession, which is only killing the looks sha has left is even more pathetic chasing the baby boy peen. Take away the $$$$ and her toyboy wouldn’t look at her twice. Anything and anyone will hoe themselves for the right price. Sad!

  35. boo says:

    Meg, nope. I usually like her but she’s starting to grate on me by bashing on women that she doesn’t approve of for whatever reason.

    She doesn’t even know if KH had implants and she’s throwing all sorts of generalizations her way.

    I expect more of her than to call another woman a “cheap plastic pool float”.

  36. Lia says:

    Kate looks great. She needed the implants. If she’s really had them done, it was done perfectly. Montag is beyond help, now… the next Jocelyn Wildenstein for sure, who she already frighteningly resembles. As for Madonna, her youth came and went without her ever making her life any more important than just being a series of photographs, one after another after another……

  37. Johnthing says:

    I love Paulina! Madge’s face looks like a “charlie mcCarthy” doll!!!

  38. Alexa says:

    I agree with poster Meg: Paulina – SIT DOWN! And I usually would keep something like what I’m about to say to myself, but since Mrs. Ocasek shouted her opinions from the mountain tops: I’ve always found Paulina to be extremely ordinary, boring, generically-pretty looking. Never understood why she was so popular . . . but it was the 80’s and those mega-puffy-sleaved tacky, shiny satin (or cheap acetate) dropped-waist, fish-tail bottomed prom dresses were popular too.
    Does anyone else think Madonna just keeps getting hotter (besides gay guys)? Looks-wise (and style-wise), I still think she’s the coolest.

  39. Majosha says:

    rebecca: I was wondering the same thing about Heidi’s bikini line (barf, shudder). Also, why are her eyebrows flesh-colored? Does she WANT to appear as though she doesn’t have them? Or is that just a disastrous dye job? I don’t get it.

  40. js says:

    “Madonna has ruined herself with her sketchy plastic surgery. It looks painful, it looks horrible, and it made Madonna seem so fragile, so uncool, so desperate to retain whatever youth she might have been clinging to.”

    Madonna will always be the sexiest woman on earth… and you know it.

  41. gail says:

    Well, pp you may look good in the mags but then again there is all that air brushing going on. Look at your own flaws before you go bashing others and then try to make us believe you want to help young girls. You are not helping anyone when you redicule them publically. You sound like a cheap mouthy czeh. And watch what you say about the hairy Italians. I happen to love Kate Hudson with or without the boobs, she is adorable. Go Alexa!!!!! and yes sit down now PP

  42. J says:

    PP definitely doesn’t try to say she ain’t without flaws. She usually makes herself the butt of all her own jokes in her blog at Huffington Post. She’s a funny lady who calls stuff like she sees it, including the fact she rode off her looks til her 40s. She seems dang down to earth. I like having somebody stand up for the au naturel team. I liked it when Kate Hudson was a sexy skinny flat-chested lady, now she doesn’t have that unique thing going on. Like Paulina writes about, think how hot Kate Hepburn’s skinny flat chested look was. Hepburn knew she was hot with her flat chested self, that confidence is what made her cool. It seems like women don’t believe in cultivating real confidence anymore. But to be fair, Kate Hudson already had had a major nose job before she was famous, so it’s not like she’s ever tried to pretend she’s all about her natural appearance. As far as Madonna goes, it is depressing someone as powerful as her would resist aging. So much for all her talk about self transformation.

  43. kiki says:

    moderation paulina may be right a lil but some are trying to help or extend the life of their career and others have egos the size of mount rushmore if you comment, no so silly they think therefore they are or are not!is more like it or get offended if the truth is said