If you’re anything like me, you were probably sitting around, looking at your wall, and thinking, “Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the richest rap mogul of them all?” If your mirror said Jay-Z, you should give it some Windex. Jay-Z was just named the richest rapper by Forbes.com. I thought they were supposed to spend their time talking about financial markets, stocks, and making people panic over real estate. But it seems that lately, Forbes is spending the majority of their time coming out with “The richest…” lists. Last week they had “The richest bald man” and “The richest one legged farmer.” Okay not really, but I would read Forbes a lot more if they did. Okay not really.

“Jay-Z wins all around, says Forbes.com. He’s got Beyonce on his arm _ and more millions than 50 Cent and Diddy. The rap icon, aka Shawn Carter, is No. 1 on the site’s list of “Hip-Hop Cash Kings,” based solely on 2006 income. He banked an estimated $34 million, Forbes.com said Thursday.

“Jay-Z, president and CEO of Def Jam Recordings, released his 11th studio album, ‘Kingdom Come,’ which sold around 2 million copies. Jay-Z, 37, is also part owner of the New Jersey Nets and has endorsement deals with Budweiser, Hewlett-Packard and General Motors.”

[From Forbes.com]

It might be good to be Jay-Z – yeah you have a lot of money, and Beyonce at your beck and call singing that “Cater 2U” song (blech) – but you’d also have to deal with that crazy mother of hers, Tina Knowles. You know, that lady that’s always trying to drape people in the fur of live puppies? Well her clothing line is one of the few out there that still uses fur, and to me it’s all the same thing. Who else makes a lot of money and doesn’t come wit the bizarre mother?

“Curtis ‘50 Cent’ Jackson ranks second with an estimated $32 million. The 31-year-old rapper-businessman oversees his G-Unit record label, clothing line, ring tones and other enterprises, and has sold more than 11 million albums. His latest record, ‘Curtis,’ is due out Sept. 11.

“Diddy (real name: Sean Combs) placed third with an estimated $28 million. A fashion plate, he has a clothing line, Sean John, and heads Bad Boy Worldwide Entertainment and its record label. Diddy, 37, is also host of MTV’s ‘Making the Band’ series.

“Rounding out the top five are Timbaland ($21 million) and Dr. Dre ($20 million). They’re followed by Eminem ($18 million); Snoop Dogg, Kanye West, Pharrell Williams and Scott Storch (all $17 million); Ludacris and T.I. (both $16 million); Outkast and Lil Jon (both $14 million); Ice Cube ($13 million); Jermaine Dupri and Swizz Beatz (both $12 million); Chamillionaire and The Game (both $11 million); and Young Joc ($10 million).”

[From Forbes.com]

You could be at the bottom of that group and still be doing pretty well for yourself. I have no idea who Swizz Beatz (sounds like the name of a cheap watch) or any of the guys after him are, but I’m pretty sure I could learn to love them, given the chance.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Jay-Z and Beyonce at the Black and White Ball. Header image of Jay-Z at Giant Magazine’s celebration of Rihanna’s new album on June 3rd. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Take this for what it is, pure speculative gossip considering the source, which has been known to make up stories and/or completely misinterpret pictures, but there’s at least some circumstantial evidence behind it. MediaTakeOut reported that Jessica Alba joined 50 Cent in The Netherlands where he was on tour last month, and was seen having a romantic dinner with him. He even brought her onstage during his concert calling her ” the loveliest woman in Hollywood,” and there was video on YouTube (now removed) of the incident. They speculate that he was cheating on his maybe-girlfriend, Ciara, with Alba:

One of MediaTakeOut.com’s faithful readers in the Netherlands caught up with 50 and Jessica on what she claims was a romantic evening. Tells the tipster, “Last Friday I was at [a local restaurant named] Van Vlaanderen and you’ll never guess who I saw - 50 Cent and Jessica Alba. They tried to sit quietly in the back but I know it was them …. They were talking and laughing like a real couple and it looked very romantic. At one point it even looked like they were going to kiss, but they didn’t.”

And there’s more to the story. The very next night, at a concert in the Netherlands, 50 actually brought Jessica out on stage with him - introducing her as the “loveliest woman in Hollywood.”

[From Media Take Out]

This was reported on July 9, and I used to repeat Media Take Out’s gossip right away, as it’s usually pretty juicy. I found out that they report a lot of BS though, and after getting burned on the “Beyonce is really 32” story based on Photoshopped documents I stopped covering their stories.

Now that Alba has broken up with her longterm boyfriend, Cash Warren, having her assistant move his stuff out of her place, this story might deserve a second look.

Blogger Juju’s Jamba does some investigative journalism and notes that Alba was coincidentally in Paris at the same time that 50 Cent was on tour there, not that they were seen together. Was 50 the reason that Alba kicked Cash Warren to the curb? It seems too speculative at this point.

Commentors on Gossip Rocks where we found this story note that there’s a recent blind item from the Panache Report that says that “non-black/non-white actress currently on a TV series” and a “rapper/actor” had a secret relationship, and that the actress broke it off when her reps told her it wasn’t good for her career. She was said to have regretted it, and to only have realized how much she missed the rapper once he got involved with another woman.

Are Alba and 50 Cent together and did they have a secret relationship in the past? Time will tell, but if there is something going on they’ll be sure to try and hide it for as long as possible.

50 Cent had a hard day on Friday. In the morning he was arrested in NY City for driving an unregistered, uninsured Lamborghini with an expired license. It takes like half a day to get all that shit done at the DMV. You have to wait in one line to figure out what forms to fill out and then go to separate lines to take care of all those issues. In half a day 50 Cent probably makes what most people make in a year, so he figures that paying a fine and getting someone else to take care of it when it becomes absolutely necessary is probably the best strategy. The cops took him in because he was attracting a crowd of onlookers in the time it took to fill out all those tickets.

By the time night rolled around and 50 had to make an appearance at the Baby Phat fashion show, not a guy’s favorite place to be, he got a bit testy a punched a guy out for not giving up his seat to one of his friends. Who can blame him?

Poor 50 can’t explain his rage and has to resort to talking about his looks to make himself feel better. He sounds like such a girl.

Thanks to Crunk and Disorderly for the header picture of 50 looking guilty at the Baby Phat show. Thanks to Fark for linking this story.

Oprah has pissed off several hip hop stars including Ludacris, 50 Cent, and now Ice Cube. The rapper-actor has joined the chorus of male artists who claim that Oprah doesn’t give them equal air time. Ice Cube makes a good point when he notes that Oprah puts rapists and child molestors on the air, but doesn’t invite hip hop artists:

A few weeks ago Oprah gave a ridiculous excuse for her white middle-aged female-centric show, saying she loves hip hop and even has some black artists on her iPod:

That’s like Bill O’Reilly saying he has black and gay friends. (Ok, it’s not that bad, but it’s a pretty lame excuse.)

Maybe Oprah will realize that rap isn’t taboo and that her audience likes a good story from any background. Africa is cool enough for Oprah, but black culture in America is something she filters through her clueless, snotty viewpoint. She’s old and richer than everyone in the world. It’s about time she realized her show can’t remain relevant and retires.

Paris Hilton was seen sitting on 50 Cent’s lap in Cannes. He checked out her tiny cans and put a hand on her boob . She later got cosy with scum-bag director Brett Ratner, who is Lindsay Lohan’s ex f*ck buddy. Lohan and Paris missed each other in Cannes, though:

Monopolizing isn’t the same as making out, unfortunately.

The Mirror could have easily made up that story based on photos that came out of Paris with 50 Cent at the party, shown below.

Lindsay Lohan was making out in public with Paris’ ex, Stavros Niarchos, and also spent the night at his hotel. She seems to be spreading the fire-y love.

Here is Lohan getting swag at the GQ Celebrity Poker Tournament. She seems to be dressing from Nicky Hilton’s clothing line. Paris is shown at the De Grisogono party in Cannes on 5/22. Kimora Lee Simmons, Tommy Hilfiger, and Brandon Davis are also pictured. [via]