A new chick lit book whilch the author claims is based on celebrity in general, not Jennifer Lopez specifically, is so close to Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s story that it’s not fooling anyone. The author, Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, has the arrogant J.Lo character cheat on Ben Affleck with Marc Anthony in a bid to boost her career:

The lead character periodically puts her hands on her stomach during photocalls to drum up press speculation about her pregnancy status, and tries to train her husband to be more media-savvy and manipulative.

The author, Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez admits that “There are some anecdotes in there based on experiences that I or people I knew had with Jennifer Lopez.” No kidding. She also claims that members of J.Lo’s staff approached her and told her that the book was dead-on.

That sounds really juicy and it’s sure to be a best seller!

Here’s her royal highness herself at Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People party yesterday.

When I think of PeeWee Herman, I have to concentrate to remember the skinny pale guy in a bowtie with the weird laugh. That’s because the first image that comes to mind is his disheveled mugshot.

Kevin Costner is lucky there is no photographic evidence of the fact that he jerked off while having a massage, because we might still think of the hot suave Costner from Bull Durham. When pictures like this of him come out, though, it’s easy to imagine him doing the deed. (Although if you try and substitute old creepy Costner with young baseball player Costner it’s kind of hot.)

The story is that Costner is said to have jerked off in front of a horrified female masseuse while honeymooning at a Scottish resort in 2004. Everyone speculated it was Costner a while ago, but the actor’s involvement was confirmed, at least according to his accuser, when the court lifted privacy restrictions on the case last week.

One of Costner’s exes has come to his defense, stupidly claiming that the hotel worker must have been rejected by Costner and is going through all this trouble to get back at him:

Clearly this woman remembers the younger, hotter Costner of yore. Maybe that guy wouldn’t have dared to get off in front of a bewildered masseuse, but creepy Costner didn’t care.

Here is Costner performing with his new “garage band” at the BMW Charity Pro-Am golf event in Greenville, South Carolina on April 29th. Costner was the “headliner” celebrity golfing at the event. Other stars involved included hockey great “Wayne Gretzky and Brett Hull, quarterback John Elway, actresses Catherine Bell and Janet Jones-Gretzky, and actors “Cheech” Marin and John O’Hurley.”

The Sun has pictures of Pete Doherty injecting heroin into a passed-out woman on his kitchen floor. Kate Moss is shown in another photo sleeping on a bed at Doherty’s house, but she wasn’t there when he drugged the unconscious fan. The pictures were said to be taken in the “past five weeks”:

Doherty was placed on 2 years probation and received orders to attend 18 months of outpatient rehab in drugs posession case last week. He was arrested again on drugs charges on the same day he was sentenced, and was let out on bail.

We thought Doherty might be cleaning up slightly, as he was praised for his efforts by the judge at his sentencing and he bragged of his sobriety at a recent concert. He might be trying, but he won’t escape his past without a great deal of effort.

The Sun website says that you have to buy the print version to get the pictures. Once they’re online, we’ll post them. In the meantime Here are pictures of Doherty at a Babyshambles gig on 4/26.

Paris Hilton has two lawsuits pending against her. One is $10 million defamation case filed by Zeta Graff for a story that Paris invented about Graff attacking her in a night club in July, 2005. Paris arranged to have the fabricated incident leaked to Page Six, which is otherwise a bastion of responsible journalism.

There is another defamation lawsuit against Paris by party planner Brian Quintana. He was granted a three year restraining order against her after she made threatening phone calls to him, famously calling him a “lazy Mexican.” Quintana was friends with Paris, until he is said to have told Paris’ boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos III, to dump her to get back with Mary-Kate Olsen.

Paris is not allowed to get within 100 yards of Quintana, unless they’re at the same party.

Now Quintana is willing to drop the lawsuit - if Paris will show up at the launch of the nightclub he’s now running, Teddy’s, which was recently closed for underage drinking and mismanagement.

That’s pretty generous and business-savvy of Quintana. Whether Paris shows up or not, he just got a ton of free publicity for the club.

Here she is getting out of her car. I know - thrilling - but she does seem to get caught behind the pop-up door for a moment.

Pictures [via]

Charlie Sheen is involved in an incredibly stupid business venture: he launched a line of children’s clothing this weekend!

Unfortunately for Sheen, the clothing line was in the works from some time, and announced over two months ago. The launch couldn’t come at a worse time for him, because the allegations in his wife’s divorce deposition are explosive.

The divorce statement from Denise Richards acquired by The Smoking Gun is pretty incredible and well worth the time to read. Richards says that Sheen:

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have come under fire for closing off roads to The Burning Shore Lodge where they’re staying in Namibia. They’ve also been criticized for the agressive, over-the-top behavior by their security team, headed by a security guard who was once charged with murder. So far their guards have pepper-sprayed a photographer and grabbed one local female reporter around the neck!

The latest news is that a photographer was beat totally senseless by one of their secuirty guards - right in front of Brad and four year-old Maddox!

They need to get some new help right away, because it’s unacceptable for people to get beat up or even threatened by the thugs on their staff. Maybe they’ll realize that they can’t let their staff hurt the paparrazi when they’re slapped with some huge lawsuits for the damage they’ve caused.

Here are some pictures of Brad Pitt shopping in Paris a little while ago. [via]

Jude Law, 33, is on vacation in California with his ex-wife, Sadie Frost, 40, and their three children. Jude was said to have reunited with Sienna Miller for a few days when he had nothing better to do. Meanwhile Sienna Miller scared off Kiera Knightly’s ex, hooked up with Jude, and then was spotted with some mystery guy in NY. Jude supposedly said no to a blonde at a party a little while ago, which made me think that he was back with his ex, but I really have no clue.

While on vacation, Law has struck out at the paparrazi for taking pictures of his precious children, and TMZ has the video.

Looking at these old nude pictures of Law made me feel like a pedophiliac I have to say.

One can hardly blame him for protecting his kids, but why did he go on vacation with his family in California? Couldn’t he have found a more out of the way place?

Pictures [via]

The NY Post is embroiled in a scandal involving a senior editor of Page Six, Jared Paul Stern, asking for huge bribes in exchange for positive reporting. The news on Page Six seems to be going downhill fast. Although it is Monday and gossip is harder to find, we can’t help looking at the NY rag with an overly-critical eye. It seems like they could make up anything at this point.

Of course that’s true about most newspapers lately. Scandals involving plaguarizing journalists rocked USA Today, The New York Times, and The New Republic in the last few years.

Page Six is seriously lame today, and leads with a story of “dueling dwarf bands.” They did have this gem, though: evil bitch Naomi Campbell may appear on Oprah to cleanse her soul. She’s also said to be fighting with Diddy after she pulled out of his cooking show. Now why would he still want her to come? She must be fabulous at tenderizing:

You know Oprah is not going to be as hard on Naomi as she was on James Fry. Maybe Jared Paul Stern should go on Oprah to redeem himself too. He can sit there looking at his hands and act as if he’s sorry that Page Six made up all those stories to try to embezzle money out of innocent billionaries and socialites.

The NY Daily News says that Page Six’s positive coverage of “Girls Gone Wild” mogul Joe Francis was totally influenced by Francis’ star treatment of another Daily News coumnist, Richard Johnson. Francis held a lavish bachelor party for Johnson at his resort in Mexico and flew in all of Johnson’s friends on his private jet. Page Six had a glowing report on Francis that ran afterwards, saying that he wanted to get into publishing to become “the next Hugh Hefner.”

Page Six is also said to have a chummy relationship with richie Ron Perelman, who recently jilted his wife Ellen Barkin.

Buh-bye to that shitty rag.

Naomi Campbell is still working as a model after hitting her maid so hard with a cell phone that she couldn’t see straight and required stitches.

Campbell was in Geneva, Switzerland yesterday working for Mont Blanc. She wore the most expensive and dangerous watch Mont Blanc has ever made. Also present was model Marcus Schenkenberg, who looked bemused. Johnny Depp and his French wife Vanessa Paradis attended the show. We will publish pictures of Depp and Paradis shortly.

Campbell’s scheduled appearance on P. Diddy’s celebrity cooking show has been canceled, which may or may not be related to the abuse charges against her.

Campbell also made an ironic peacekeeping visit to South Africa to meet with Netson Mandela after the incident. The press was not allowed to be present at the event.

Here is Campbell modeling for Mont Blanc. The company should have hired a better spokesmodel.

Naomi Campbell doesn’t just hit, bite, headbutt and throw objects at people, she also spits. Campbell spat in a security guard’s face at a U2 concert a few months ago::

Campbell was not even removed from the concert and was characteristically rude when officers gave her a verbal warning. The abused guard’s harrassment complaint to police was closed because “Campbell’s actions were considered more rude than harassing.”

Meanwhile the maid that Campbell struck with a crystal-encrusted Blackberry on Thursday said that she suffered from blurred vision and extreme blood loss after the attack.

Cops have also recovered a mobile phone from Campbell’s house that may be the one she used to hit the maid from behind. Campbell faces up to 7 years in jail if she’s convicted.

If Campbell wasn’t famous she would have been hauled away for spitting at a security guard at a concert. Let’s hope she has severe legal and monetary consequences for this latest episode.