Jude Law was having a good run. His run in Hamlet has gotten him some of the best reviews of his life. He’s taking the play to Broadway, where the accolades will probably continue. He’s single and mingling. He’s been photographed with several attractive women, and rumored to be in some kind of love triangle with Cameron Diaz and Leonardo DiCaprio. In other words, Jude Law is back on top! Unfortunately, that’s just when something bad happens.

It happened last night. After his play, Jude went for a late-night dinner in London, hosted by The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan. As Jude was exiting the restaurant, something happened. Jude either consciously attacked a female photographer, hitting her in the face, or Jude was blinded by the camera flashes, and a little drunk, and he put up his hand to get his bearings, and he accidentally hit this woman. Jude’s version is the one that has him accidentally hitting the woman, and apologizing for it at the time. The woman’s version has Jude as some kind of violent misogynist. The Daily Mail has some of the photos from the incident here, and here’s the rundown of events:

A female photographer is today considering pressing charges against Jude Law after he hit her while leaving a central London restaurant in the early hours of this morning. The actor appeared to strike the 28-year-old paparazzo as she took pictures of him leaving a celebrity dinner party at Automat in Dover Street, Mayfair.

Harsha Gopal claimed the attack was unprovoked, and added: ‘He hit me full on the face, it was a real stinger, it was very sore.’

Jude was at a dinner hosted by movie director Christopher Nolan, where other guests included Leonardo DiCaprio, Jay- Z and singer Michelle Williams. As he left the eatery at 1am he appeared to throw a hand towards Harsha’s face, leaving her reeling away in pain.

She was among a group of other photographers who had assembled outside to catch the A-list crowd on their way out.

She added: ‘It was really loud – there was a massive thud and my face is still stinging today. It was deliberate – you could see it in his face. Maybe he didn’t realise he was hitting a girl, but he could at least apologise.’

Jude Law’s lawyer Graham Shear today called the claims ‘nonsense’ and added: ‘Last night’s incident was an accident. Jude was blinded by the camera flashes when he left the restaurant, raised his hand to shield himself and inadvertently struck somebody standing very close. He apologised and left’

Harsha was resting up today and suffered no injuries, but is now considering whether to press charges against the 36-year-old.

Jude was arrested after allegedly assaulting a photographer near his Maida Vale home in 2007, although he denied the claims and the case was dropped.

[From The Daily Mail]

I tend to think Jude’s version of events is probably closer to reality. He had just come out of the restaurant, he probably was a little drunk, and then he gets blinded by the flashbulbs. In the photos from the incident, Jude looks a little out of it, he doesn’t look malicious. You can see that he seems surprised and annoyed that he made physical contact with one of the photographers – at least that’s how I’m reading it. Maybe it will all go away if Jude issues a sincere apology to this woman, and continues to stick by his story that it was all an accident.

I have to admit this at the beginning – I barely know who any of these people are. Demi Lovato is a 16-year-old actress and singer of the Disney-fied Miley Cyrus variety, only without all of the sketchy photographs. Demi and Miley are around the same age, and apparently they’re kind of friends, because Demi was dating Miley’s older brother Trace. I just looked up pictures of Trace Cyrus, because I didn’t believe the photo People Magazine had up. The kid looks like the love child of Joey Ramone and a goat. Trace is 20 years old, and from the sound of it, he seems to have been the one to do the dumping. Dude… she’s 16 years old, and you’re going to release a bitchy statement about “busy schedules” to People Magazine? Douche.

Age and distance put a strain on Demi Lovato’s fledging romance with Trace Cyrus, and the couple has split, Cyrus tells PEOPLE exclusively.

“Demi is one of my good friends and I definitely became very, very close with her in the past few months, and it’s something I really wanted to make work. But unfortunately, we both have very busy schedules – we’re both on tour right now,” says the Metro Station singer, who is also brother to Miley Cyrus. “I’m always on the other side of the world and so is she, so it just seemed like something that can’t work out at this time.”

Despite the split, there are no hard feelings between the two. “We gave it a shot and that’s all you can do,” says Cyrus. “Every time I hung out with that girl or talked on the phone with her, it was amazing. She’s someone I can totally relate to.

“But she is a lot younger than me,” Cyrus, 20, adds of Lovato, 16. “When someone is that much younger, you’re looking for different things in relationships. Maybe when she’s older and we’ve both matured, we’ll be looking for the same thing and it can work out.”

Even without Lovato in his life, Cyrus has plenty on his plate, as he kicks off a headlining tour in Texas with his band Metro Station. “Then right after that I jump on tour with my sister Miley,” he says, “and we’re going to be going all across the U.S. for a few months and then headed to Europe and the U.K.”

[From People]

Demi has been in the news the past week because several media outlets/gossip sites claim that she’s cutting herself again. The rumors about Demi’s cutting started last year, when E! obtained photos of what looked like recent scarring on her wrists. Now Star Magazine has photos up that look similar – Demi with small, red X’s or slashes on her wrist. If I didn’t know there was a history of people claiming she was a cutter, I would have only suspected she was drawing on herself with a red pen:

Disney darling Demi Lovato is showing disturbing new signs of cutting — a secretive self-mutilation ritual girls sometimes use to deal with traumatic emotional issues. A little more than eight months after shocking pictures first revealed Demi’s scarred wrists, new photos of the 16-year-old leaving MTV’s NYC studios are even more alarming.

There now appear to be at least five nasty-looking slashes, where previously there were only a few.

“Demi has been really stressed out about her new show, Sonny with a Chance,” a source tells Star. “She’s not getting enough downtime because there is so much work involved, and she’s always being pulled in different directions.”

Unfortunately, that constant pressure may lead to destructive behavior. “Cutting is how she can let go of the stress that has built up inside — when she cuts herself, it’s a way to cope,” explains Dr. Jennifer Austin Leigh, a San Francisco–based psychologist who specializes in treating teenagers.

But there is hope, adds Dr. Leigh, who has not treated the actress. Besides counseling, Demi “needs to surround herself with family and friends who will have a positive impact on her.”

[From Star Magazine]

In high school, I knew a girl with severe emotional problems who was an extreme cutter. Her forearms and thighs were heavily scarred from years of self-abuse. She later had to be taken out of public school and put into a facility where her problems could be dealt with. Cutting is as much a cry for help as a full-fledged suicide attempt, and should be dealt with as such. Maybe this recent report about Demi’s alleged return to cutting has no merit, or maybe it has nothing to do with an older guy breaking her heart. But I suspect the two are connected. Poor girl… I hope there’s someone in her life telling her that all of this is not her fault. Sometimes sh-t just happens, and there’s no reason to internalize to the point of extreme self-abuse.

Here’s Demi Lovato in NYC on June 24th. For pictures of her cutting scars, see the link to Star’s article above. Credit: Fame Pictures . Trace Cyrus pictures from WENN.com

Joe Jackson was on Larry King Live last night, acting like his usual bastard self. Nothing is ever his fault, everybody is always telling lies about him, et cetera. Typical abuser, actually. Nevermind that we’re just quoting accurately. It was actually a doozy of an interview, and Larry was sharper than I’ve seen him in a while, asking Joe about everything from abusing Michael, to Joe’s relationship with his wife, to those quotes from two weeks ago about how Michael’s kids should be in showbiz because “Blanket can really dance”. CNN has the video, and they also have an extensive breakdown of the interview:

Michael Jackson’s father told CNN’s Larry King Monday night that he never beat his son or made any mistakes in raising him. Joe Jackson also said the rumor that he wanted to take the singer’s children on tour as the Jackson 3 was “a bunch of jive.”

Jackson repeated his suspicion that foul play was involved in his son’s death last month, but he conceded he did not know what happened. He said he had been blocked from seeing or talking to his son in the days before his death.

Jackson denied that he was legally separated from Katherine Jackson — his wife of 60 years — although he did say he spends most of his time in Las Vegas. His wife lives in the family home in Encino, California.

He denied a report that he had agreed to sign a document saying he would not be involved in helping raise Michael Jackson’s three children as a way to help his wife retain custody of them. “I’ve never said I was going to sign any papers to that effect,” he said.

Debbie Rowe, Michael Jackson’s ex-wife and mother of his two oldest children, has not said yet whether she will challenge Katherine Jackson for custody. Joe Jackson appeared careful to avoid any hints that he might encourage the children to enter show business, saying “they have to be what they are, kids, at the moment.”

“I can’t get into that right now, Larry, because, I mean, I just can’t,” he said.

King asked him to respond to a media report quoting an unnamed family source that said Joe Jackson, who turned his sons into the Jackson 5, had approached Michael Jackson’s children about touring next year as the Jackson 3.

“Not true. That’s a bunch of jive. That’s a bunch of — I wish I could say what I should say. That’s a bunch of bull.” Asked about stories that he was abusive to his son as a child, Jackson said “Oh, that’s a bunch of bull S. That’s a bunch of bull S.”

“You never physically harmed him?” King asked.

“Never. Never have. And I — and I raised him just like you would raise your kids, you know? But harm Michael, for what? I have no reason. That’s my son. I loved him and I still love him,” Jackson said. He said he made no mistakes in raising his children.

“Michael was raised properly,” he said. “He didn’t run the streets like most of those other kids that was in his neighborhood.”

While denying any child abuse, Joe Jackson’s explanation did leave the question of spanking: “The media keep hollering about saying that I beat Michael. That’s not true. You know what this beat started — beat started in the slavery days. Where they used to beat the slaves and then they used to torture them. That’s where this beating started. These slave masters, and that’s where that come from. But, hey, there’s a lot of people in America, Larry, a lot of people in America spank their kids, you know? They say they don’t, they’re lying. They’re lying. Now, Michael was never beaten by me, I’ve never beaten at all.”

Joe Jackson said he was not surprised or hurt to learn Michael left him out of his will.

“That’s the way he wanted it,” he said. “And it’s not going to hurt me that I was left out of his will. But it happened.”

The will, written in 2002, places all of Jackson’s assets into a family trust that benefits his mother, the three children and various charities. Joe Jackson showed frustration at being cut out of his son’s life in his last days.

“Larry, I’m going to cut through the chase on this. I could never get to him. I tried all I could and I could never get to him because he — I was barred away from him by securities and all that type of thing. I could not get to him,” he said.

[From CNN]

Not only do I think Joe Jackson is a lying old bastard, I think he’s a pretty bad liar. Truth expert Eyes for Lies thinks the same thing – she writes:

When Joe Jackson answers Larry King about whether or not he was abusive to Michael, and Joe answers, “I never been abusive to him”, you need to take a closer look at the words being spoken here. Joe Jackson clearly skirts the issues by playing with words, if you want my opinion.

Notice how convoluted Joe’s answer is? He talks about slavery and torture, and then ends up saying a lot of people spank their kids and don’t admit it. Why doesn’t he answer the questions directly? Then Joe ends his somewhat non-nonsensical answer by saying he’s “never beaten at all”. I think the key word here is “beaten”. It’s all semantics, if you want my opinion.

A man who abused his children and who is denial about it is likely to diminish his actions, and I believe that is what Joe Jackson is doing here. Notice how he doesn’t deny “spanking” Michael? And how he justifies everyone else must be doing it?

When I’ve seen Michael Jackson talk of how afraid he was of his father, I absolutely believed him.

[From Eyes For Lies, Radar Online's video is quoted]

One of the most interesting parts (for me) was Joe’s hedging on the whole issue of how much he’s involved in Katherine’s life. It sounds like they’ve been separated for a while, but that they’re still involved in each other’s lives. This is a key point, and I hope it’s a major part of the custody hearing. I don’t think that Katherine should be appointed guardianship if she’s in any way involved with Joe.

Joe Jackson is shown on 7/10/09 at Michael Jackson’s hometown memorial. Credit: WENN.com

Before I get into the specifics of this situation, let’s just play a little game. Say I provide you with two different versions of the same event, and it is your duty to choose which version is the most likely. I will lay out the two scenarios as such:

Scenario 1: Sharon Stone is a lovely, thoughtful, conscientious person who got special approval to take two carry-on pieces onto her flight from Montana to Utah. A random stewardess saw Sharon Stone and decided to take out all of her anger, rage, and insanity on Sharon Stone, screaming at Sharon several times about her carry-on luggage. Sharon, being a shy, vulnerable sort of woman, was willing to give up her carry-ons to ease this stewardess’s problems, under the condition that she be provided with some kind of private security to help her through the Salt Lake City terminal.

Scenario 2: Sharon Stone is a crazy bitch who picked a fight with a stewardess, then acted insane through an entire flight. When the plane landed Sharon Stone was detained, and perhaps arrested, by the Salt Lake City police.

So which one sounds more likely? You be the judge – here’s Style List’s report:

Sharon Stone’s famous temper got her into trouble on a flight from Kalispell, MT to Salt Lake City, UT yesterday.

According to a witness on board: “The flight attendant in Kalispell asked her to gate check her bag and Sharon refused and got into a huge fight with her. They eventually took the bag from her and she screamed at her assistant with her and made a scene during the entire flight.”

The source told me: “When the plane got to Salt Lake City it was met by armed Salt Lake City police officers. She was detained. Its not clear if she was arrested.”

But Stone’s rep, Paul Bloch, says the person who met her at the airport was “private security hired by Sharon. She was not detained by police.” Bloch also said Stone was traveling alone, without an assistant.

“Sharon had been visiting her father in Montana, and was approved to take both bags on the plane. When she got to the plane, she told me the stewardess screamed at her that she couldn’t take both bags on board,” said Bloch.

According to Stone’s version of events, the stewardess on the Delta connection operated by SkyWest “screamed” at her not once, but twice, over the luggage, before the actress eventually surrendered a bag.

After hearing Sharon’s take on the matter–specifically that police weren’t involved–we went back to the witness. The source said: “It was definitely police, the uniform had a big Salt Lake City police patch on the side. And there were also at least four customer service/security agents from the airline. The flight attendant she fought with was named Ebony. Ms Stone was definitely acting irrationally.”

Finally, a Salt Lake City, UT Airport media spokeswoman confirmed that at least one uniformed police officer was awaiting Stone at the gate…but she said it was at Stone’s request, for security.

We have to wonder whether she needed quite as much “security” before she got into the fight with the flight attendant.

[From The Style List]

If it was a different celebrity, I might have given the person the benefit of the doubt. Stewardesses are no angels, and I’ve been treated badly by a few. But when it’s Sharon Stone? Yeah, I’ll totally buy that she was probably screaming abuses at a stewardess, and that she was most likely detained by the police. She is crazy, after all.

Sharon Stone is shown out with her two of her three sons getting ice cream with a friend on 6/19/09. Credit: WENN.com

Chris Brown entered a guilty plea for felony assault yesterday and received five years probation for the brutal beating of his then-girlfriend, singer Rihanna, in February. He was also ordered to complete 180 days of community service in his home state of Virginia and to undergo domestic violence counseling every week for nearly a year. Although Rihanna was in court in anticipation of being called to testify, the plea deal ensured that she was not called to the stand. The judge also issued an order of protection for Rihanna stipulating that Brown stay 50 yards away from her at all times, except at music events, when the distance was limited to 10 yards.

A repentant Chris Brown accepted a plea deal Monday from California prosecutors, avoiding jail time for beating up his ex-girlfriend Rihanna.

Brown, 20, fessed up to one count of felony assault stemming from the February attack…

“Guilty,” Brown said in a soft voice, standing in the packed courtroom with hands clasped behind his back.

[Brown] is expected to receive five years’ probation and be ordered to complete 180 days, or more than 1,400 hours, of community labor when sentenced Aug. 5. He must also undergo 52 weeks of domestic violence counseling.

Asked by Judge Patricia Schnegg if he understood the plea-bargain, Brown said, “Yes, ma’am.”

Wearing a gray plaid suit, a white shirt and a striped cream tie, Brown entered his plea as his mother, Joyce Hawkins, somberly watched from the courtroom gallery.

“I think it’s commendable you took responsibility for your conduct,” Schnegg told [Brown]

Schnegg encouraged Brown to take his counseling sessions seriously, saying, “I hope [it] will have some meaning for you.”

The plea deal allowed Rihanna, 21, to avoid testifying at the hearing, initially intended to determine if there was enough evidence to send Brown to trial.

The “Umbrella” singer made a brief appearance in the courtroom after Brown left. Schnegg told her that she was issuing a protection order barring Brown from coming closer than 50 yards, except at music industry
events, when he must stay 10 yards away from her.

“Thank you, Your Honor,” said Rihanna, wearing a short black dress and a pearl necklace.

Prosecutors informed [Rihanna] of the deal shortly before the hearing.

“We discussed the plea with the victim, and she concurred,” said Sandi Gibbons, spokeswoman for the Los Angeles district attorney’s office.

Brown started beating Rihanna after they left a pre-Grammy gala Feb. 8 in a rented Lamborghini.

“He [Brown] punched her in the left eye with his right hand,” a police affidavit stated and “continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand.”

[From The NY Daily News]

We haven’t heard any kind of mea culpa or sincere apology from Brown and he has done absolutely nothing to show that he’s repentant at all for his severe attack on Rihanna. All he did was issue a kind of passive statement that he was “sorry… for what transpired” and record a video in which he called out people for being haters and claimed “I ain’t a monster.” Brown didn’t do a single act of public contrition, like visiting sick kids in the hospital or recording a public service message – about anything, not necessarily domestic violence. I hope his community service is backbreaking, and I hope he gets arrogant and entitled as expected, doesn’t complete his probation requirements and gets sent to jail.

Brown is shown outside of court yesterday. Credit: Horizon Pix/Fame Pictures. Court sketches thanks to MavrixOnline.

This is not the spanking picture

In Touch is featuring a cover this week that shows mother of eight reality show star Kate Gosselin smacking one of her daughters on the butt. The back story is that one of her sextuplets, five year-old Leah, was blowing a whistle while Kate was talking on the phone. Kate told Leah to stop, she didn’t, and then she spanked her. It all happened out in the front yard where the paparazzi captured Kate’s anger and Leah’s anguish.

We ran that story earlier today and many of you say that you were either spanked or knew someone who was and there’s nothing wrong with it. Others say it’s borderline abuse and can easily cross into that territory. My stance is that it can be cruel and that it’s not a good form of discipline because children tend to remember that you hit them instead of focusing on their misdeeds. There are much gentler and more effective ways to teach children right from wrong.

Kate Gosselin has issued a statement to Life & Style about the incident, and she basically says that she’ll discipline her children as she sees fit, thankyouverymuch:

In response to the recent controversy centered around photographs of Kate Gosselin publicly spanking her daughter Leah, the John & Kate Plus 8 star tells Life & Style exclusively through her reps:

“Whether the paparazzi are there or not, I am a mother first. I love my children and when they misbehave, I discipline them as I deem appropriate for the situation.”

[From Life & Style]

Incidentally, spanking is illegal in over 20 countries. In the US it’s not illegal for a parent to spank their child, but in 29 states it’s illegal for teachers to use corporal punishment. Why is it ok for us to hit our kids, but abuse when we hit a spouse or another adult? At least an adult can defend themselves.

Kate is shown playing with her kids on 6/17/09. Credit: INFPhoto.com, and shopping on 6/14/09. Credit: ANT GRIFFITH/bauergriffinonline.com

Last week, we ran a story that originated in the National Enquirer in which a former staffer of Jon and Kate Gosselin claimed to have witnessed Kate take one of her children into a room and spank him repeatedly with a plastic spoon. The child was screaming, and the supposed witness alleges that it wasn’t the first time Kate spanked one of her children with an object. We had quite a debate in the comments on that article about corporal punishment. My stance is that it’s never warranted and is cruel and ineffective, but that I wouldn’t judge someone for a light smack. Many of you said you were spanked and turned out fine, but that it can become abusive in many instances and you have to be careful not to take your anger out on a small child.

In Touch has exclusive photos coming out in their upcoming edition that feature Kate Gosselin smacking one of her daughters on the bottom. You can see that Kate is mad and the daughter is crying. It’s pretty clear she’s spanking her for something because the child is upset, her dress is lifted up and Kate’s hand is right there. You can see all the photos on PopEater:

The world of Jon and Kate Gosselin is about to get even more dramatic (if that’s possible), as photos of Kate apparently spanking one of her children has been given to PopEater exclusively by In Touch Weekly.

In these photos given exclusively to PopEater, reality mom Kate Gosselin is seen here allegedly smacking her daughter Leah.

The photos were taken on June 13, and show Kate playing outside with her children. According to the In Touch story, when daughter Leah blew a whistle after being asked to stop, Gosselin allegedly grabbed her and spanked her. The photos show Kate holding the girl’s arm, and then the daughter crying and holding her rear.

“The girl was screaming and crying. Kate just pushed her away and walked off with her coffee. Her older sisters were trying to make Leah feel better,” an witness tells In Touch.
The Gosselins have been making headlines for months, as everything from their love lives and reports of infidelity to their vacations have become something everyone wants to know about. Both Jon and Kate have separately been linked to other romantic partners, though neither has admitted any infidelity.

[From PopEater]

The inset story on the cover asking why police were called is about Kate calling them to get rid of photographers. Maybe she realized that they busted her smacking her kid.

Last week, we saw a video clip in which Kate Gosselin requested a bottle of water ahead of an interview and drank it, repeatedly ignoring her daughter’s request for water. Her daughter Mady said “Mommy, you’re so mean.” It looks like Kate’s children know just how mean their mom is and that it goes beyond actively ignoring their needs.

“Jon and Kate Plus 8″ continues to sink in the ratings, which is only to be expected considering how strongly it opened with all the tabloid controversy. Now that this new issue of In Touch is coming out, more people will probably tune in to see how Kate treats her poor kids. It’s time to pull the plug on this show.

Photos used with permission of In Touch. Header photo via Cover Awards

Oh no! My immortal beloved, Gerard Butler, might be headed to jail for the beat-down he put on a paparazzo last fall! I’m totally going to put my hair into a nasty beehive and run down to the Los Angeles courthouse for Gerry’s June 10 arraignment, just so I can scream “Gerard Incarcerated!” And then, you know, I’ll smoke some crack or whatever else Amy Winehouse did after Blake Incarcerated’s court dates. But I digress.

In a story as old as Hollywood hissy fits, Gerard Butler might have to do hard time for tearing this photographer a new one. The original incident occurred the night of October 7, 2008. Allegedly, this photographer was trailing Gerard’s limo for hours, and then verbally harassing Gerry whenever he got in and out of the limo. Gerry lost his temper, and kicked his ass. Sort of. The pictures of the photographer show a guy with a bloody lip. That’s not really an ass-kicking, it’s just a couple of punches.

Gerard Butler has another notch on his belt, but this time it ain’t a chick …he’s scored a criminal charge.

Butler has been charged with misdemeanor criminal battery in connection with a run-in with a photog on October 7, 2008. At 2 AM, after a premiere party for “RockNRolla,” Butler left Crown Bar in a limo and allegedly popped a papper in the lips three or four times. The L.A. City attorney filed the charge yesterday.

Butler’s reps have said the papper had stalked the star, and chased people through the streets. The rep claims the papper almost killed a pedestrian.

If convicted, Butler could face up to 6 months in jail. Butler is due in court for an arraignment on June 10. Butler’s lawyer, Blair Berk, declined comment.

[From TMZ]

The investigation into the incident started in the Los Angeles attorney’s office quickly, but several of the gossip sites had their own theories. Just one day after the altercation, TMZ had multiple sources alleging that the photographer was driving recklessly, chasing Gerry’s limo, and nearly hitting several pedestrians. TMZ’s sources also claimed: “[After] Gerard allegedly got out of the limo and struck the photog in the face, the photog continued following Butler for more than an hour before going to the hospital. But the agency the photog works for says Gerard struck the dude at 1:45 AM and he was at the cop shop at 2:10 AM…And, we’re told, the photog spoke with a civil lawyer before contacting cops.”

From my research (research = starring at pictures of Gerard Butler shirtless), I’ve found that this is Gerry’s first ever charge in America. Meaning that the whole “oh my Gawd, he could go to jail for six months and he’ll live a jailhouse thug life” worry is probably misplaced. Even if he’s found guilty – which he won’t be – he probably would just get a slap on the wrist. Here’s another thing – he’s not even an American citizen! If he gets jail time, he could be like, “Whatever, Scotland won’t extradite me, bitches.” He’s just here on a work visa – although I would be happy to help him expedite a green card application in exchange for a marriage based on him walking around naked and feeding me chocolate.

Gerard Butler is shown 12/11/08 – not the night in question and at the Golden Globes on 1/11/09. Credit: PRJ/Fame Pictures

Kiefer Sutherland is going to surrender himself to New York authorities a few weeks from now, all stemming from “a minor assault charge” lodged against him for headbutting Proenza Schouler designer Jack McCollough. Even though I want to think well of Kiefer for sort-of defending the honor of a lady (Brooke Shields), he must have some serious issues. Brooke even sides with McCollough, because she had her representatives tell TMZ that she was jostled, but nothing happened. Ah, it seems the fair damsel in distress didn’t really mind when her martini was shaken.

Kiefer’s friends are still trying to make excuses, though. An unnamed friend tells the New York Daily News that though Kiefer feels strongly that he was “provoked”, Kiefer is totally sorry, and thinks the incident was “regrettable”:

Kiefer Sutherland will surrender to prosecutors in several weeks and face only a minor assault charge for headbutting a fashion designer at a party, a law enforcement source told the Daily News.

Sutherland, who spent Wednesday holed up in his girlfriend’s Manhattan apartment, will face only a third-degree assault charge for the bizarre assault on designer Jack McCollough, sources said.

And the actor will simply be issued a desk appearance ticket for the misdemeanor – meaning he won’t be jailed and will be free to travel before his arraignment date.

A friend told the News that Sutherland – who seemed to be channelling his “24” alter ego Jack Bauer when he slammed his head into McCollough’s at a Soho nightspot – felt bad about the strange display.

“Kiefer is sorry it happened. Absolutely. It’s terribly regrettable,” said the friend.

Still, the friend insisted Sutherland lashed out inside SubMercer because McCollough, a designer for Proenza Schouler, bumped into actress Brooke Shields.

“Kiefer was provoked. The gentleman bumped into Brooke Shields and didn’t apologize,” the friend said.

Sutherland’s attorneys are expected to contact McCollough’s lawyers and hammer out a cash settlement.

Sporting a fresh cut across the bridge of his nose and shielding his eyes with Oakley sunglasses, McCollough told the Daily News this morning outside his West Village apartment that he’s “doing fine.”

McCollough’s representatives are resolute that the head smacking at an after-party for the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s annual Costume Institute gala was unprompted, telling People, “Anyone who knows Jack McCollough knows that he would not hurt a fly.”

“All we can say at this point is that he was the victim of a vicious, violent, unprovoked assault and that the matter is in the hands of the authorities.”

Shields’ is apparently siding with McCollough, with her reps telling TMZ that she was jostled but “nothing happened to her.”

When Sutherland is formally charged in New York, it could violate the conditions of his probation for a 2007 drunken driving charge in Los Angeles – and potentially send him back to jail.

The actor was put on five years probation after serving 48 days in jail for driving under the influence in 2007. He was on probation for a 2004 drunken driving charge at the time.

“There is an ongoing investigation, and we’ll wait until that is concluded,” said Frank Mateljan, spokesman for the Los Angeles city attorney’s office.

“We would need to see the specific facts of what happened before we make a determination as to whether or not probation has been violated.”

[From The New York Daily News]

McCollough’s people are talking directly to People Magazine, and they sound pissed. In addition to the “he would not hurt a fly” argument (which I believe, the guy looks like a stiff wind would blow him over), Jack’s reps say: “All we can say at this point is that he was the victim of a vicious, violent, unprovoked assault and that the matter is in the hands of the authorities.”

There’s even consternation about exactly how the headbutting went down. One of McCollough’s people also tells People Magazine: “Jack walked into the party and tried to order a drink, and then the next thing he knew, he got headbutted for no identifiable reason… Jack did nothing other than walk into a party. He did not bump into Brooke. It’s just puzzling.” Ah, yes. But Kiefer sensed that there was a damsel in distress, you see. Thus, headbutting.

If you’re a guy facing felony domestic violence charges for beating your girlfriend’s face in, the last person you want to be compared to is disgraced former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson. Mike’s laundry list of crimes against women is epic. But when Tyson was recently asked his opinion about the Chris Brown case, his answer was surprising. The former champ identified with Brown, saying that he’s familiar with the psychology behind what Brown did, but he also said that the R&B singer needs to get control of his emotions- and that it is wrong to hit a woman.

Mike Tyson – who was accused of beating Robin Givens and was convicted of raping Desiree Washington – says he can relate to Chris Brown, the 19-year-old singer who allegedly beat Rihanna.

“It’s none of my business, but you know what I say about that? I understand the situation. I understand passion with young kids,” Tyson, 42, tells MTV News.

“My personal opinion about that is, he’s just a baby,” adds the former heavyweight champ, who is the subject of a new documentary, Tyson, out Friday. “He’s just a little baby that don’t know how to handle his emotions when it comes to a woman. And he probably hears this and thinks, ‘I know how to handle my emotions’; we all think we do.

“But the fact [is],” Tyson continues, “you look at this person and you might be crazy in love, but we don’t know how to handle those feelings.”

What could have led Brown to beat Rihanna, 21? Tyson blames a “pimp mentality” that is prevalent among young people. “Now you’re a fly guy and a cool guy [you think] … you have to be hard like that,” he says.

In the MTV interview, Tyson appears contrite about his history of violence towards women.

“You can’t abuse them,” he tells MTV. “It’s really sick what you [can] do. She has a space in your heart and you believe you care about her more than anybody in the world.

“Do I think it’s right to beat up a woman? No — hell no,” he adds. “Have I hit a woman before? Hell yeah. Was I wrong? Hell yeah. I’m a product of that environment. Do I regret ever doing that? Hell yeah. Would I do it again? Never.”

[From Us Weekly]

Well, there you have it: the one guy you probably thought would be rushing to defend Chris Brown is saying that it’s wrong to hit a woman. Who would have thought that the one-time poster boy for domestic violence would be one of the few male voices speaking out against what Brown did? Meanwhile, Diddy, Akon and Kanye West are still telling us that “we don’t know what happened” and that Brown deserves a break.

Here’s Mike Tyson at the Los Angeles premiere of ‘Tyson’ at the Pacific Design Center last Thursday. Images thanks to WENN.com .