Lionel Richie performed at the Essence Festival in New Orleans this past weekend. After his show, he talked about his daughter Nicole’s recent behavior, ranging from drinking and driving, drug addiction, and possibly (but who the heck knows) being pregnant with boyfriend Joel Madden’s baby. Here’s a recap of some of Nicole’s legal issues:

In February 2003, Richie was arrested in Malibu, California and charged with possession of heroin. She was also driving with a suspended driver’s license. On December 11, 2006, Richie was arrested by the California Highway Patrol after she failed a field sobriety test and was charged with driving under the influence on California State Route 134 in the Burbank/Glendale, California area. Several motorists had reported a black Mercedes-Benz G-Class entering the freeway on the exit ramp and traveling in the wrong direction. She admitted to using marijuana and Vicodin before the incident.

[From Wikipedia]

As a result of her latest run-in with the police, Nicole is scheduled to go on trial on July 10. She pleaded not guilty to a misdemeanor charge of driving under the influence. She likely pleaded not guilty due to her previous arrests, and thought it better to take her chances than go to jail for sure. Theoretically Nicole could get more time than Paris did, and could be sentenced to 90 days to a year in jail.

I am continuously amazed at what an enabler Lionel Richie is. The first time or two I saw him interviewed regarding Nicole, I thought, “Wow, she’s lucky to have such a supportive parent.” But then she just kept messing up, and he kept making excuses, and after a bit you realize he’s a big part of the problem. In past interviews Nicole has talked about Lionel not allowing her to be around her younger siblings due to her erratic behavior, fearing for their safety. He seems to think that just because she’s not quite as messed up as she used to be, she’s okay. When asked about Nicole’s recent trials, Lionel said:

“’She keeps apologizing to me. I told her, You’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing to your father at this age.’”

[From Newsday]

Wha… what? You’re supposed to have a heroin addiction? Eating disorder? Drive under the influence? I think Lionel really missed the memo. You’re supposed to stress out your parents. You’re supposed to stay out late, not call enough, date a few guys that aren’t good enough for you, and make them worry in that way. You’re not supposed to go to jail. He really needs to get his act together just as much as she does. She needs to surround herself with people that are good for her, not people that tell her it’s okay to do seriously unhealthy things.

The Britney crazy tour continues. Word is her family has indeed cut off her credit cards in an attempt to save her from herself, a strategy which has obviously been ineffective so far. She left that high end rehab after a day and was trailed by the drooling paparazzi, who caught her going to a lawyer’s office and then trying in vain to gain access to K-Fed’s house, but he was either not home or ignoring her.

The lawyer Britney visited once represented Reese Witherspoon in her suit against a paparazzo that harassed her children, although it is unknown why Britney was there (The photographer Reese was suing incidentally ended up dead.)

K-Fed is looking like a super fit parent compared to Britney, and has supposedly been caring for their children. He’s said to be saddened by Britney’s antics and the fact that she’s ignoring her kids. He called his mom on Valentine’s day to come out and help him watch the children. Britney’s mom, K-Fed and his mom are all taking care of Britney’s kids while she has her public breakdown.

Meanwhile a former nanny of Britney’s has revealed that she was looking for a friend more than a childcare expert and that she didn’t seem to care if she had experience watching children.

K-Fed is having an emergency custody hearing today, and the news of that hearing may have been what led Britney to head over to his house and ring the bell in vain. She got all worked up at the paparazzi at the time and yelled and hit their car with an umbrella.

There’s also a story that Britney tried to kill herself twice before shaving her head. Incidentally there are four different stories about why she shaved her head: she was raped, she didn’t want K-Fed to be able to drug test her hair, she had lice, and/or her hair was falling out from frequent dye jobs and extensions.

Britney wants the world to witness her pain, and indeed we are, but she’s only hurting herself by picking her wounds and begging us all to watch. It’s uncomfortable for everyone and she needs to get away and recover. She has all the resources in the world at her disposal but she can’t figure out what to do besides hop around her old haunts and have everyone watch. At least her family is taking care of her children and they’re too young to understand what’s going on.

Here’s Britney caring for her new dog and clutching what may be the last credit card she could find. Thanks to FlynetOnline for these pictures.

Well, I wouldn’t have thought this of Kevin ever. But the hard-partying, money grubbing SOB either really does care, or he’s making very calculated and intelligent moves in an effort to win the custody battle for his children. If you think about it, it’s pretty certain that he’ll at least get joint custody of the children considering how Britney’s spiralled out of control.

During Britney Spears’s recent wild weekend, her ex, Kevin Federline, canceled plans to party in Las Vegas during the NBA All-Star weekend in order to stay in Los Angeles to be available for the couple’s children, sources tell PEOPLE.

“Kevin is concerned for Britney and his children,” says a friend of Federline’s. “Of course he’s concerned about her. He loves her. He’s always loved her – even after she started divorce proceedings.”

The pair, who split in November, have two sons together, Sean Preston, 1, and Jayden James 5 months.

According to another source, Federline had booked a room from Feb. 14 - 19 at the Venetian Resort Hotel Casino, but canceled the reservation.

It’s not clear if Federline has been in direct contact with his two sons or Spears, who voluntarily entered a rehabilitation facility on Tuesday.

A rep for Federline could not be reached for comment.

Even though I’ve never been a fan of Britney or her antics, I really hope that she sticks with rehab this time, especially for the children’s sake.

Thank you People Magazine.

Britian’s Mirror is claiming Britney had head lice, which is why she shaved herself bald in the buzz heard ’round the world. The Mirror makes a lot of stuff up, and I don’t believe it. This is the only place I’ve read it, and I doubt it’s more than pure conjecture.

Troubled Britney complained to friends of a “strange itching” on her scalp before running out of Eric Clapton’s Crossroads clinic last week on Caribbean isle Antigua The 25-year-old said the bugs “totally freaked me out” and she had no choice but to lose her locks.
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Leaving LA’s Mondrian hotel, Brit was heard shuddering: “I had to get rid of the lice. They were horrible.”

A source close to Brit told us: “She thought lice were eating her hair extensions, so she decided to get rid of them as soon as possible.”

Celebrity hairdresser Jonathon Long, who tends to the tresses of Girls Aloud and Westlife, told us that if she did have the bugs Brit’s decision might not have been as crazy as it seems. He added: “It’s impossible to run a fine-tooth comb through hair with extensions so she would have found it very difficult to rid her hair of lice without drastic measures.”

Everyone knows that Britney was at the Mondrian shaving her legs by the pool and trying to swap bikinis, so it’s likely they made up this story up to sell papers. I have caught them fabricating quotes based on paparazzi photos before, so this wouldn’t surprise me. If Britney did have lice, it’s easily determined by examining her hair, now for sale at the ridiculous price of $1 million. Esther Tognazzi, who owns Esther’s haircutting where Britney popped in for a shave, is selling the nasty stuff through her website. (She tried to go the eBay route, but her auction was shut down.)

Tognazzi told Ryan Seacrest on his show that Britney’s bodyguards opened the blinds before she shaved her head in her salon so that the crouching paparazzi could get clear shots of the deed:

“I had my vertical blinds closed,” she said, “And the bodyguards … opened the blinds, supposedly to see who’s back there … and somebody got a very clear shot of her in the back of my salon.” Ryan asks if it’s possible this was all a set-up for publicity. “Do I have to answer that?”

You’ve undoubtedly heard that Britney is back in rehab, this time at the Promises facility in Malibu, which helped Ben Affleck, Robert Downey Jr., and Matthew Perry battle their addictions. Her dad drove her there after a deep conversation over Cajun food, and it looks like she’s not getting along with her mom. Promises has a swimming pool, tennis court, and “spalike levels of staff attention” and it’s not like Britney will be roughing it. The facility she checked out of after one day, Eric Clapton’s “Crossroads” on the island of Antigua, is known for being a tough rehab without a lot of amenities:

I used to live on Antigua and we knew that Crossroads was probably the toughest and most spartan of clincs in a sense the last resort for rehab. If Britney did go there and bolt because of the boot-camp facilities, no surprise.

Britney probably chose her first rehab based on the familiarity of the name and the fact that she loves that “Tears in Heaven” song. Once she learned that she’d have to rough it she hightailed it out of there, meeting the plane to Miami right before take off and begging staff at the gate to let her on.

She had to fly back to Miami in the last row of coach because first class was fully booked. It looks like first class rehab is still available for Britney, though, and hopefully she will get the drugs and narcissism out of her system.

There are pictures of Britney at rehab already, with paparazzi agencies X17 and Splash News both claiming to be the first to capture a chain-smoking, pacing, bald Britney outside the Promises facility. Jordan at Britney fansite BreatheHeavy is calling for the paparazzi to stop taking pictures of Britney while she’s trying to clean up, but that will never happen. I’m not publishing the pictures here, but it’s not out of any sympathy for Britney. I just don’t have the rights to them.

Here are screenshots of Britney’s Crossroads Diary, published just five years ago and available through Amazon. It was cowritten by Felicia Cullotta, her assistant who just wrote a letter saying she’d like to save her.

The more I hear in this Anna Nicole story, the more realize she really wasn’t someone I could have much sympathy for, or even give a shit about. She was so delusional that, according to her former nanny, she ordered that her baby be underfed so that the infant would be “sexy.”

Her former nanny gave a sworn statement before Anna died, saying she was concerned for the baby’s welfare in so unstable a home and with an absent, erratic mother.

Anna insisted Dannielynn be fed only 2.5 ounces of formula every three hours instead of the standard 3 ounces because she was obsessed with her tiny daughter being “sexy.” She didn’t seem concerned for any other aspect of Dannielynn’s health or well being, though, and apart from strictly monitoring her food intake she wasn’t around much.

The nanny said that Anna spent barely any time with her daughter, preferring instead to be locked up for hours in her bedroom with the Bahamian immigration minister, or sleeping off her drug-induced haze and waking up in a foul mood.

Other caregivers included the friend and mother of Anna’s special favor’s lover, the bahamian immigration minister. Anna couldn’t be bothered to be around Dannielynn much, but she did tell the nanny that she would shoot her if she heard her daughter call her “mummy.”

Anna was also seen downing an entire bottle of sleeping medication, after which she laid in a coma for 48 hours and was surprised to wake up, telling the nanny she meant to kill herself. She also tried to drown herself in the pool, and once she was rescued by Howard he told her that he would get arrested if she died.

The nanny was ultimately fired after less than three months when Anna, in a drugged fit, accused her of losing the user’s manual to a new washing machine.

Other salacious details in the Anna Nicole Smith case include the fact that she had a doctor friend prescribe her methadone and demerol under a false name right before she gave birth to tragic Dannielynn. She had the drugs delivered to her in the Bahamas. She was friends with the prescribing doctor and was seen riding a convertible with him in a gay pride parade in 2005.

Our friends at Gabsmash point out that methadone is a liquid and that no pills were found in Anna’s stomach. Toxicology reports are pending, and it’s probable that she died of a methadone overdose.

The National Enquirer reports on Anna’s last drug-filled days, saying she was spiraling out of control after the death of her son Daniel. She smoked crack (they say cocaine, but I’m assuming it’s crack if she smoked it, my drug knowledge is limited), accused Howard of trying to kill her, never ate and was basically a mess:

An insider even claims they heard her outrageously yell at Howard: ‘I don’t want to see you again - you’re trying to kill me!’

“Howard never used drugs but Anna smoked cocaine every single day.

“She’d smoke the cocaine and 10 or 15 minutes later she would be a changed person, very animated and talking loudly.

“Sometimes she would smoke too much - and took pills to bring her down.”

The insider added, “Many times she was so drugged that she fell, often hurting herself. She frequently vomited on the floor and soiled her bed. She hardly ate, just smoked cocaine and drank fruit juice.”

This woman seems to have wanted to die. In fact, The Bastardly reports that Anna told FHM in a 2004 interview that she was involved in so many projects that “I’m probably gonna die at 37 like Marilyn.”

Anna Nicole Smith was an addict and a negligent mother. The people surrounding her, with the exception of the help, enabled her drug use. That seems to have been at Anna’s insistence, though. She may have been out of it but she didn’t hesitate to dump Larry Birkhead when he told her not to do drugs while she was pregnant with what he assumed was his baby.

Anna’s body is now in legal limbo. It has been released from Larry Birkhead’s court ruling that it be held until February 20 pending ruling on his paternity case, but now both Anna’s mother and Howard K Stern, the executor of her estate, are fighting over burial rights.

Little Dannielynn is still under Howard K Stern and his mother and sister’s care in that squatter estate in the Bahamas. She’s the real tragedy in the case.

Star cover from popbytes.

Amid pictures of Britney partying in a borrowed bra and panties after news that she puked the previous night comes a letter from her former assistant, Felicia Culotta, to a fan site webmaster who’s more than willing to share it with you. Ruben at World of Britney previously posted a supposed IM conversation with Britney’s manager, and now he has a letter from her assistant of 9 years. The woman comes off as quite sweet and thoughtful in her letter, saying she can’t force Britney into a treatment facility and can only pray for her dear friend. She also hints that Britney treated her like shit withough coming out and saying so, stating “I’m so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say—You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!”

Good for her. Here’s the full letter:

Ruben,
Once again–I commend you for your Honesty and Integrity. I have been reading your new website daily and am grateful to have that to go to, to check on the antics of Britney. Britney doesn’t have a Publicist for me to clear this thru first, so it will come directly from my heart to you!

I am writing in response to “Where is Felicia?” on your editorial.I am home–in Mississippi…….I am now a trained Corporate Flight Attendant and fly with a tiny jet company out of Georgia. I am also a substitute Preschool Teacher at the Church Preschool in my town. I LOVED being with Britney for the past 9 1/2 years. I enjoyed being a part of HER dream, but now, am living my own dream.

I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding…….

I want you to know Ruben that WE (as in her Family and nearest and dearest—ALL of whom are NOT on the payroll anymore!!) are doing EVERYTHING in our power to get help for Britney and all in our power to NOT pad the bottom or move the bottom, so when she does indeed hit rock bottom, she’ll stand up and walk away from this whole fiasco a new, confident, changed, career driven Britney like we all knew and loved.

There’s just so much you can do to help a person—I don’t dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. All I can do is be a friend, someone that loved her for MANY years unconditionally, and PRAY. That, I have decided is the most and best I can do for my friend. I cannot save her from herself, nor can I commit her to any type of treatment program against her wishes and will. I am throwing my hands up and realizing that I am helpless over another—ANYONE!

It’s been a hard reality for me to face. I have lived my best example daily, and that is ALL I’m capable of. To see what’s transpiring now, makes me feel a failure, defeated. I LOVED and BELIEVED in what I was a part of for the past 10 years and was so incredibly proud of Britney and all she’d become.

All that to say this Ruben–I’m so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say—You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!

Thank you for ALL you’ve done–ALL the love and support over the years. ALL the non-judgement and ALL the Honesty!

PLEASE let me know if there’s ANYTHING I can do to repay your kindness. With as much sincerity as I can Muster,

—FE

Damn. I guess when the rest of us are making fun of her there are people that are really worried about her and care what happens. It does indeed seem serious when viewed through this kind woman’s eyes.

I mean, I don’t want her to OD or get hurt or anything, but she’s richer than sin and it seems like she could clean up her act and have any kind of life she wants. She has all the resources in the world at her disposal and could travel all over and have all sorts of non-drug enhanced adventures. She’s choosing to hang out with stippers in her underwear now, though, and I guess that would be worrying to me if I actually cared about her.

Thanks to Gossip Momma via Lipstick for this story and picture.

And here’s a video featuring more of Britney’s partying and an US Weekly commentator who says her career is shit now:

More news from the Robbie Williams Rehab from his ironically-employed drug counselor mother, Jan, in today’s UK Sun:

She said: “He’s a very public figure and all the media attention at the moment is added pressure on him.”
Jan promised to fly out to join him once he has got through the early stages of his recovery.
She added: “I am not going out to visit Robbie yet. Rehab is all about being on your own. But once he gets better I will be over there like a shot.”

Not, however like a shot of bourboun or whisky … more like an old shot in the arm of mother love for the poor wee primate posterboy.

Today’s coverage has new and scary specifics of how the depression be-deviled monkey boy has danced on the edge of substance abuse- without quite crossing over into the illegal stuff.

The singer finds it impossible to get to sleep until 4 or 5am due to insomnia and is on sleeping pills. He is hooked on the powerful and controversial anti-depressant Seroxat, which has been linked to suicidal tendencies in teenagers.
And daily he gets through an incredible 36 super-strength double espresso coffees, 60 Silk Cut cigarettes and around 20 cans of energy drink Red Bull.

rb Williams seems to have spun out on a very contemporary convergence of old skool Valley of the Dolls, new skool pharmaceuticals and post-rave come down beverages. There is just no rest or safe haven for the rehabbed these days – your Starbucks and corner bodega can join forces to do you in. Still, at least he has avoided the Anthony Kiedis pitfalls of internet sex addiction – opting instead for actual sex with local starlets. Very generous of Mr. Williams as they earn pocket money selling the stories (excellent Robbie Sex - sad Robbie crying) while he’s away in the Betty Ford. Well not actually Betty Ford:

Robbie is believed to have checked into the exclusive Meadows clinic in Wickenberg, Arizona. It is the same rehab centre which helped supermodel Kate Moss deal with health problems in the past.

That’s got to be the least promising recommendation for a clinic presently available- though it works as a cross promotion for landing a Burberry campaign when he gets out. What’s next - The Paris Hilton Promise Keepers – Courtney Love Lamaze Classes – The George Bush Inter-Faith Jamboree?

pic via posternet

How does he ever find the time to surf for porn? You would think decades of adolescent rocking out while eliminating all body fat, shooting shirtless videos to exploit the aforementioned fatless torso and then running out to the dog run to feed Flea - one’s days would be quite full. You would be wrong:

Red Hot Chili Peppers star Anthony Kiedis had to ween himself off an addiction to internet porn when he realised his obsession was becoming unhealthy.
Kiedis discovered his addictive personality was driving his seedy interests in cyberspace - and he had to stop before it became a major problem.

(via Female First)

Rock and roll stars used to have the decency to just tip over addictedly dead, reasonably young with pretty corpses and mourning. Now they can’t even handle the internet without KidSafe Firewalls … ohh the dangers of the wild broadband lifestyle. I rather thought Kiedis would eventually evolve into an Iggy Pop type of rock elder statesman. The evidence seems to indicate he will need large unhealthy heapings of internet porn to get back on track.

Perhaps addiction is the new Rock and Roll. … it is certainly the anthem of a generation. Celebrity after celebrity and politicians too roll into rehab after every scandal. Failing or disappeared careers are resurrected with the formula:

Find an Addiction, confess to it, publicize confession, lather, rinse, repeat. If you time it right you might boost your book’s Amazon ranking. Kiedis is actually exploring the radical cutting edge of addiction PR. The “I was almost addicted, but I stopped just in time.” A sort of Horatio Alger addiction

“When I finally got a computer, I discovered this limitless world of pornography.
“I realised the feeling that I was having was like the feeling that I used to get when I’d go score drugs. I actually had to make a commitment to myself to stop.”

That’s almost a story … I had the feeling it was going to be a story when I started to read it. I should have made a commitment to myself to stop.

Pic via exposay.com

It looks like all the other rehab treatments, including a stint as a counselor, didn’t take for messed up Pete Doherty. The Sun is reporting that on-again girlfriend Kate Moss has dropped him off at an in-patient drug rehab in North West London near her home. Kate is said to be paying big bucks for Doherty to get treatment at the facility, where a 12-patient wing was cleared for him to stay. Kate will perhaps pop in for some sessions of her own, but seems to be staying offsite:

The supermodel and the shambolic rocker checked secretly into the discreet Capio Nightingale Hospital just half a mile from her home in North West London.

They met staff who cleared a 12-place unit at an annexe behind the main hospital building off busy Marylebone Road.

The pair were recognised by passers-by as they arrived but registered for treatment using false names.

Kate, 33. left the hospital yesterday but was expected back to join Doherty in therapy sessions.

Yesterday one of Kate’s assistants was seen delivering to the hospital what appeared to be groceries and computer gear.

There was news that Kate and Pete got married in Thailand over New Year’s, but Kate’s people denied that report. It seemed to me like it was some kind of commitment ceremony, because Pete insisted it was true.

Pete was recently questioned by police after the death of a man at a party. The guy was seen arguing with Pete and fell to his death from a balcony a short time later. Police said he was not a suspect, but the family was unconvinced.

Let’s just assume for a moment that Doherty is capable of prolonged sobriety and a somewhat normal lifestyle free of Jaguar crashing and random death. How long do you think Kate Moss could remain faithful to a guy like that? Don’t you think she’d consider him boring?

Header pictures is original art for Celebitchy by contributing writer and artist UrbanDK.

Lindsay Lohan has been seen out multiple times in her less than two week stay at the country club rehab facility Wonderland following an intervention by executives on the new film she’s making. She’s been working and attending AA meetings, but has also been seen out eating and shopping. She even went home to her condo at one point.

Residents say when she isn’t out and about people come in to service her including a masseuse, makeup artist, and hairstylist.

At least one guy has left in disgust over the special treatment Lohan has been given at Wonderland. He said he wanted to get clean and can’t do it in the circus environment Lohan is creating. Due to all the perks Lohan is getting, the facility is letting up on all the residents and making it harder for them to stay sober.

The National Enquirer reports that despite all the leniency Lohan is being offered, she’s acting like rehab is a joke and refusing to go along with the staff. They also say people suspect she suffers from bipolar disorder:

“She’s acting like a spoiled brat!” declared a source close to the 20 year-old party animal.

“Some staff believe that in addition to her addictions, she could also be suffering from a bipolar disorder.

“When she came in, she gave a brilliant performance as a tortured young star who wants to men her ways.

“But she’s still in touch with all her friends, and she says the doctors and staff are all bull—-!”…

The article goes on to say that her mother Dina tried to cut Lindsay off from her friends to get her to stop using, but that obviously didn’t work.

It was Lindsay’s little sister Ali, 13, who was said to be instrumental in getting her to get treatment, which it seems she’s not taking seriously at all. Ali was said to have called Lindsay in tears and begged her to go.

When is this bitch going to get the tough love she needs? By giving her all that freedom in rehab they’re making it harder for her to stay sober, and ruining treatment for people who are serious about it.

Hopefully someone will clamp down on her before she has a real tragedy or accident and it’s too late.

Here’s Lohan in West Hollywood outside an AA meeting on 1/28. Pictures from Linds-Lo.com