Amid pictures of Britney partying in a borrowed bra and panties after news that she puked the previous night comes a letter from her former assistant, Felicia Culotta, to a fan site webmaster who’s more than willing to share it with you. Ruben at World of Britney previously posted a supposed IM conversation with Britney’s manager, and now he has a letter from her assistant of 9 years. The woman comes off as quite sweet and thoughtful in her letter, saying she can’t force Britney into a treatment facility and can only pray for her dear friend. She also hints that Britney treated her like shit withough coming out and saying so, stating “I’m so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say—You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!”

Good for her. Here’s the full letter:

Ruben,
Once again–I commend you for your Honesty and Integrity. I have been reading your new website daily and am grateful to have that to go to, to check on the antics of Britney. Britney doesn’t have a Publicist for me to clear this thru first, so it will come directly from my heart to you!

I am writing in response to “Where is Felicia?” on your editorial.I am home–in Mississippi…….I am now a trained Corporate Flight Attendant and fly with a tiny jet company out of Georgia. I am also a substitute Preschool Teacher at the Church Preschool in my town. I LOVED being with Britney for the past 9 1/2 years. I enjoyed being a part of HER dream, but now, am living my own dream.

I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding…….

I want you to know Ruben that WE (as in her Family and nearest and dearest—ALL of whom are NOT on the payroll anymore!!) are doing EVERYTHING in our power to get help for Britney and all in our power to NOT pad the bottom or move the bottom, so when she does indeed hit rock bottom, she’ll stand up and walk away from this whole fiasco a new, confident, changed, career driven Britney like we all knew and loved.

There’s just so much you can do to help a person—I don’t dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. All I can do is be a friend, someone that loved her for MANY years unconditionally, and PRAY. That, I have decided is the most and best I can do for my friend. I cannot save her from herself, nor can I commit her to any type of treatment program against her wishes and will. I am throwing my hands up and realizing that I am helpless over another—ANYONE!

It’s been a hard reality for me to face. I have lived my best example daily, and that is ALL I’m capable of. To see what’s transpiring now, makes me feel a failure, defeated. I LOVED and BELIEVED in what I was a part of for the past 10 years and was so incredibly proud of Britney and all she’d become.

All that to say this Ruben–I’m so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say—You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!

Thank you for ALL you’ve done–ALL the love and support over the years. ALL the non-judgement and ALL the Honesty!

PLEASE let me know if there’s ANYTHING I can do to repay your kindness. With as much sincerity as I can Muster,

—FE

Damn. I guess when the rest of us are making fun of her there are people that are really worried about her and care what happens. It does indeed seem serious when viewed through this kind woman’s eyes.

I mean, I don’t want her to OD or get hurt or anything, but she’s richer than sin and it seems like she could clean up her act and have any kind of life she wants. She has all the resources in the world at her disposal and could travel all over and have all sorts of non-drug enhanced adventures. She’s choosing to hang out with stippers in her underwear now, though, and I guess that would be worrying to me if I actually cared about her.

Thanks to Gossip Momma via Lipstick for this story and picture.

And here’s a video featuring more of Britney’s partying and an US Weekly commentator who says her career is shit now:

More news from the Robbie Williams Rehab from his ironically-employed drug counselor mother, Jan, in today’s UK Sun:

She said: “He’s a very public figure and all the media attention at the moment is added pressure on him.”
Jan promised to fly out to join him once he has got through the early stages of his recovery.
She added: “I am not going out to visit Robbie yet. Rehab is all about being on your own. But once he gets better I will be over there like a shot.”

Not, however like a shot of bourboun or whisky … more like an old shot in the arm of mother love for the poor wee primate posterboy.

Today’s coverage has new and scary specifics of how the depression be-deviled monkey boy has danced on the edge of substance abuse- without quite crossing over into the illegal stuff.

The singer finds it impossible to get to sleep until 4 or 5am due to insomnia and is on sleeping pills. He is hooked on the powerful and controversial anti-depressant Seroxat, which has been linked to suicidal tendencies in teenagers.
And daily he gets through an incredible 36 super-strength double espresso coffees, 60 Silk Cut cigarettes and around 20 cans of energy drink Red Bull.

rb Williams seems to have spun out on a very contemporary convergence of old skool Valley of the Dolls, new skool pharmaceuticals and post-rave come down beverages. There is just no rest or safe haven for the rehabbed these days – your Starbucks and corner bodega can join forces to do you in. Still, at least he has avoided the Anthony Kiedis pitfalls of internet sex addiction – opting instead for actual sex with local starlets. Very generous of Mr. Williams as they earn pocket money selling the stories (excellent Robbie Sex - sad Robbie crying) while he’s away in the Betty Ford. Well not actually Betty Ford:

Robbie is believed to have checked into the exclusive Meadows clinic in Wickenberg, Arizona. It is the same rehab centre which helped supermodel Kate Moss deal with health problems in the past.

That’s got to be the least promising recommendation for a clinic presently available- though it works as a cross promotion for landing a Burberry campaign when he gets out. What’s next - The Paris Hilton Promise Keepers – Courtney Love Lamaze Classes – The George Bush Inter-Faith Jamboree?

pic via posternet

How does he ever find the time to surf for porn? You would think decades of adolescent rocking out while eliminating all body fat, shooting shirtless videos to exploit the aforementioned fatless torso and then running out to the dog run to feed Flea - one’s days would be quite full. You would be wrong:

Red Hot Chili Peppers star Anthony Kiedis had to ween himself off an addiction to internet porn when he realised his obsession was becoming unhealthy.
Kiedis discovered his addictive personality was driving his seedy interests in cyberspace - and he had to stop before it became a major problem.

(via Female First)

Rock and roll stars used to have the decency to just tip over addictedly dead, reasonably young with pretty corpses and mourning. Now they can’t even handle the internet without KidSafe Firewalls … ohh the dangers of the wild broadband lifestyle. I rather thought Kiedis would eventually evolve into an Iggy Pop type of rock elder statesman. The evidence seems to indicate he will need large unhealthy heapings of internet porn to get back on track.

Perhaps addiction is the new Rock and Roll. … it is certainly the anthem of a generation. Celebrity after celebrity and politicians too roll into rehab after every scandal. Failing or disappeared careers are resurrected with the formula:

Find an Addiction, confess to it, publicize confession, lather, rinse, repeat. If you time it right you might boost your book’s Amazon ranking. Kiedis is actually exploring the radical cutting edge of addiction PR. The “I was almost addicted, but I stopped just in time.” A sort of Horatio Alger addiction

“When I finally got a computer, I discovered this limitless world of pornography.
“I realised the feeling that I was having was like the feeling that I used to get when I’d go score drugs. I actually had to make a commitment to myself to stop.”

That’s almost a story … I had the feeling it was going to be a story when I started to read it. I should have made a commitment to myself to stop.

Pic via exposay.com

It looks like all the other rehab treatments, including a stint as a counselor, didn’t take for messed up Pete Doherty. The Sun is reporting that on-again girlfriend Kate Moss has dropped him off at an in-patient drug rehab in North West London near her home. Kate is said to be paying big bucks for Doherty to get treatment at the facility, where a 12-patient wing was cleared for him to stay. Kate will perhaps pop in for some sessions of her own, but seems to be staying offsite:

The supermodel and the shambolic rocker checked secretly into the discreet Capio Nightingale Hospital just half a mile from her home in North West London.

They met staff who cleared a 12-place unit at an annexe behind the main hospital building off busy Marylebone Road.

The pair were recognised by passers-by as they arrived but registered for treatment using false names.

Kate, 33. left the hospital yesterday but was expected back to join Doherty in therapy sessions.

Yesterday one of Kate’s assistants was seen delivering to the hospital what appeared to be groceries and computer gear.

There was news that Kate and Pete got married in Thailand over New Year’s, but Kate’s people denied that report. It seemed to me like it was some kind of commitment ceremony, because Pete insisted it was true.

Pete was recently questioned by police after the death of a man at a party. The guy was seen arguing with Pete and fell to his death from a balcony a short time later. Police said he was not a suspect, but the family was unconvinced.

Let’s just assume for a moment that Doherty is capable of prolonged sobriety and a somewhat normal lifestyle free of Jaguar crashing and random death. How long do you think Kate Moss could remain faithful to a guy like that? Don’t you think she’d consider him boring?

Header pictures is original art for Celebitchy by contributing writer and artist UrbanDK.

Lindsay Lohan has been seen out multiple times in her less than two week stay at the country club rehab facility Wonderland following an intervention by executives on the new film she’s making. She’s been working and attending AA meetings, but has also been seen out eating and shopping. She even went home to her condo at one point.

Residents say when she isn’t out and about people come in to service her including a masseuse, makeup artist, and hairstylist.

At least one guy has left in disgust over the special treatment Lohan has been given at Wonderland. He said he wanted to get clean and can’t do it in the circus environment Lohan is creating. Due to all the perks Lohan is getting, the facility is letting up on all the residents and making it harder for them to stay sober.

The National Enquirer reports that despite all the leniency Lohan is being offered, she’s acting like rehab is a joke and refusing to go along with the staff. They also say people suspect she suffers from bipolar disorder:

“She’s acting like a spoiled brat!” declared a source close to the 20 year-old party animal.

“Some staff believe that in addition to her addictions, she could also be suffering from a bipolar disorder.

“When she came in, she gave a brilliant performance as a tortured young star who wants to men her ways.

“But she’s still in touch with all her friends, and she says the doctors and staff are all bull—-!”…

The article goes on to say that her mother Dina tried to cut Lindsay off from her friends to get her to stop using, but that obviously didn’t work.

It was Lindsay’s little sister Ali, 13, who was said to be instrumental in getting her to get treatment, which it seems she’s not taking seriously at all. Ali was said to have called Lindsay in tears and begged her to go.

When is this bitch going to get the tough love she needs? By giving her all that freedom in rehab they’re making it harder for her to stay sober, and ruining treatment for people who are serious about it.

Hopefully someone will clamp down on her before she has a real tragedy or accident and it’s too late.

Here’s Lohan in West Hollywood outside an AA meeting on 1/28. Pictures from Linds-Lo.com

Lindsay Lohan is a troubled young woman. She’s been looking old and worn out lately it turns out there’s a good reason for it. Despite well-publicized attempts, she hasn’t been able to lay off the sauce and has checked into a rehab.

In a statement issued through her rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, Lindsay says “I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health. I appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time.”

Lindsay’s mom, Dina, revealed last month that Lindsay had been attending AA meetings.

According to Hollyscoop, Lohan has been visiting her dealer in East LA and recently bragged that her trip to the hospital to supposedly get her appendix removed was “all for publicity.”

I want to say something snarky about her, but at least she didn’t wait until she got into a car accident or ODed, and is doing something about it now. I guess this explains why she spent 20 minutes in the bathroom the other day.

Update: Oh I forgot that Lohan’s doctors told her during her maybe-appendix removal that she had seriously elevated liver enzymes and low protein, which could indicate permanent liver damage. Her failing health may be the reason she’s entering rehab now.

Pictures of Lohan out on 1/13 and at a Golden Globes after party on 1/15 found at Superior Pics.

The cover story on this week’s National Enquirer (which was one my my last purchases before leaving the states for the trashy pleasure of it) claims that Britney collapsed on New Year’s Eve due to a drug overdose, and wasn’t simply tired or drunk as people have speculated. She was actually on Vicodin, cocaine and ecstacy, and smoked pot that night along with consuming a lot of booze, according to The Enquirer.

They also claim that K-Fed has hired a private detective to get more ammunition for the divorce:

Britney Spears’ headline-making collapse was actually a drug overdose fueled by cocaine, Ecstasy, and booze according to family insiders - and now Kevin Federline has hired a private detective to dig up dirt on Britney for their divorce war, say sources.

A world-exclusive Enquirer investigation has uncovered the shocking story behind the pop princess’ New Year’s eve disaster.

“Kevin was so upset about Britney’s collapse, he screamed: ‘I am afraid she’s going to kill herself right in front of my boys,’” revealed a close source.

Horrified by his estranged wife’s behavior, Federline has hired a private investigator - and plans to use his shocking findings as a weapon in their divorce, say insiders…

At dinner, Britney continued to drink - enjoying champagne and cocktails of rum and pineapple juice, according to an eyewitness…

After dinner, back at her hotel suite… Britney allegedly smoked marijuana before going to Pure for the New Year’s Eve party.

“When she got to Pure, she went into the V.I.P. section, and there she snorted cocaine,” charged the close source. “I think Britney likes coke because she feels it helps her stay sober,” the source claims.

Britney was also taking a powerful prescription painkiller - Vicodin, prescribed after her last C-Section some four months ago, according to sources.

As the music pounded and the booze flowed, the mother of two was also given Ecstasy, according to the source.

[From The National Enquirer print edition, January 22, 2007]

Britney was carried out of the club. Her manager famously claimed she was just sleepy while we all speculated it was much more. She then checked herself into an Arizona spa for some detox treatments, but was out and making the scene again within a few days.

The article cites an addiction expert who states the obvious - that a combination of the drugs Britney supposedly took that night has the potential to be lethal.

This sounds to me like one of K-Fed’s buddies called up The Enquirer and made these claims to smear Britney. I’m not saying it’s not true, just that it sounds like something he’d do and the article is worded very favorably toward him. You know he doesn’t care about the kids like this, and realizes they’re in the hands of Britney’s mother and competent nannies.

Pictures from FlynetOnline.

Keith Urban was on vacation from rehab when he joined his new bride Nicole Kidman in their native Australia for Christmas. Everyone thinks they’re going to be the next celebrity couple to call it quits since their brief marriage has met multiple challenges from accusations of infidelity to Keith’s very public alcohol addiction. Now Keith is back in treatment and it’s unknown when he’ll be released. His publicist says this is to be expected while someone is in recovery:

His publicist, Paul Freundlich, told the Associated Press of Keith’s Christmas vacation: “This is a natural occurrence at this point in his treatment.

“He will continue with his rehab upon his return.”

The Mirror is reporting that pop star Robbie Williams has urged Nicole to stand by Keith in his time of need, but I’m not really sure that’s true.

News came out right around Christmas that a 23 year-old “model” claimed to have been dating Urban up until a month before he married Nicole. A picture was published of her posing with Urban, who she claims was drunk or on drugs throughout their entire two year relationship. People say that the picture isn’t recent and calls the woman’s story into question as it shows Urban with a tattoo on his wrist that he had altered in 2005.

I thought this was a joke when I first read it on aggregate news engine WeSmirch (from which I get a lot of stories - props to them.) Page Six is claiming the “biggest proof” that Nicole Kidman is trying to get pregnant is the fact that she’s sporting bangs now. She was said to be pregnant for like the past year for various reasons, so I thought they were being funny, but no, The Post says that it’s evidence she’s laying off the Botox to prepare her body for pregnancy. Bangs are the newest hair trend, couldn’t that be the reason she changed her style?

NICOLE Kidman is not pregnant - yet. She’s said to be trying with her husband, country crooner Keith Urban, even though Urban is still in the Betty Ford Clinic. The biggest proof Kidman is trying to conceive is her latest haircut: She just got bangs to hide her forehead. As a Hollywood insider said, “If Nicole is pregnant or trying to get pregnant, she will have to stop all Botox treatments like Courtney Cox Arquette did when she was pregnant. It would show most on her forehead.” A rep for Kidman didn’t return emails.

Kidman told reporters at the “Happy Feet” premiere that she wanted to have a bunch of kids running around and her hair flowing down to her waist on a tropical island like in some Gauguin painting. I thought that quote was made up because it sounded pretty hackneyed, but who knows.

Meanwhile Keith Urban, Nicole’s husband of five months, is out of rehab. Now they can focus on that pregnancy that all the tabloids are rooting for:

Country singer Keith Urban is out of rehab and has reunited with his wife of five months, actress Nicole Kidman, Us reports exclusively. The couple had brunch on Sunday at the Polo Lounge in Los Angeles.

They were last seen together on November 12, outside of the Betty Ford Center in Palm Springs, where Urban was being treated for alcohol abuse.

Urban had been in the in-patient rehabilitation program since October 19 and was expected to stay there for 35-40 days. Urban’s rep said the singer is “still undergoing treatment.”

Pictures are of Kidman at an Omega event in Geneva, Switzerland. She does look to have gained a little weight and looks healthier. Pictures found at Saving Face Forum and from Celebrity Nation.

Star is running a story with the headline that Keith Urban’s cheating sent him into rehab. Inside the article, though, they say that the cheating took place back in March way before their June wedding. Keith is said to have screwed a pr0n star for three full hours at a bachelor party. Nicole must have forgiven him because she ended up marrying him and supposedly knew about it. The article kind of half-suggests that Keith’s infidelity is the reason he’s drinking so heavily now.

Sources close to Nicole say Keith had to fess up to Nicole after reports came out that he had bedded a porn star for three hours at a wild bachelorette party in a ritzy L.A. hotel in late March. Keith had reportedly also been drinking champagne that night. Nicole was “cut to the bone” after learning the truth. “She’s grown up enough to know that boys will be boys,” says a friend of hers. “She didn’t threaten to leave, but she told him he had a lot of bridge burning to do.”

[From Star print edition, November 6, 2006]

It seems like the actual reason may have more to do with the expected failure of his new album, which is out November 7th. He desended into drug abuse after his first album flopped, and he seems to have reverted to old habits again. His first single off the album, a tribute to Nicole called “Once in a Lifetime,” is said to suck.

People reports that “he’s a perfectionist” and that pressure from recording his new album may have pushed him over the edge.

People also says that Nicole and Keith will weather this storm together, but I’m not so sure

“She is standing by him,” a friend says of the actress. “The have a commitment to each other. It’s incredibly painful, but they’re working it out together.

[From People Magazine print edition November 6]

We’ll see how things turn out for Nicole and Keith, but with Keith cheating on Nicole in the spring, then heading to rehab after just four months married, it just doesn’t look good.

Thanks to Sammie’s effluvia for these magazine stories.