I finally caught an episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, haven given up my stance that I couldn’t watch it anymore after learning that Taylor Armstrong’s husband killed himself following filming for this season. (I could only hold out a few weeks.) They’ve ratcheted up the drama and bitchiness and have a new scapegoat in Brandi Glanville. Kim Richards is so looped and drugged out of her mind that you can no longer understand most of the things she says. It’s hard to watch, and the women are getting even more catty and nasty, probably at the insistence of producers. Brandi comes across very well. She did get angry and lashed out at the women last week (accusing Kim of doing crystal meth in the bathroom, which may have been accurate given Kim’s behavior) but she was just defending herself. I find her likable, normal and much more relatable than any other cast member.

One of the more colorful secondary characters is Adrienne Maloof’s bitchy chef, Bernie. We saw Bernie tut-tutting this week as Adrienne’s neighbor Lisa Vanderpump attempted to show Adrienne how to cook a chicken. Adrienne actually put dish soap on the chicken while attempting to clean it, (you can watch that here) and she was so surprised that this was not acceptable that it didn’t seem like a put on to me. Maybe it’s just easier for her to look surprised since her face is permanently frozen in that position.

Bernie hates Lisa, and he’s been shown bitching about her on the show. He gave an hilariously snarky interview to the National Enquirer about her this week, and it could just be cleverly disguised promotion for Real Housewives. I can imagine the show’s creators telling him to fight with Lisa and say rude things about her. If that’s the case it’s brilliant to mix up the feuds like this. Either way, these quotes need to be repeated:

Wealthy Brit Lisa has targeted her co-star’s chef in a trashy Twitter campaign, complaining that he’s getting too much on-air time.

And that’s left a bad taste in Bernie’s mouth.

“I dislike ‘the Brit’ because she’s rude and treats people, like me, as if we are all HER servants!” fumed Bernie, who has served up gourmet fare for such celebs as Drew Barrymore, and Will and Jada Smith.

“Lisa uses that condescending accent of hers to be disrespectful, and I will no longer tolerate her ‘better than thou’ attitude!”

The feud started simmering last year when Lisa, who owns Beverly Hills restaurant Villa Blanca, insulted Bernie’s cooking at Adrienne’s Christmas party – in front of hundreds of high-profile guests.

“Lisa- who was living directly across the street from Adrienne – showed up two hours late and then complained because most of the food was gone!” the 39-year-old chef divulged.

“I cooked a lot of food, including four turkeys and a ton of side dishes… it must have been delicious because the guests ate it up!”

When Lisa then made a negative comment about the kind of food being served, Bernie defended his cooking – and Lisa was “mortified” that he had the gall to answer her back, he says.

“The next day I talked to Adrienne about it, and she told me to never let anyone disrespect me and told me even when I am on duty I could always defend myself.”

Lisa is also furious about comments Bernie has made about her on the show.

“I believe my remarks have send the Wicked Witch of the West into a complete frenzy!” he said.

Bernie also takes issue with Lisa letting her… Pomeranian Giggy sit at the dining table, joking that he was going to deep fry the pup!

“Don’t get me wrong, I love animals but not at the table – and certainly not drinking out of crystal,” he said.

According to Bernie, Lisa has taken her complaints to Bravo execs in an attempt to reduce his screen time.

“Obviously, they didn’t listen,” he added, “because I am on the air more than ever!”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, November 7, 2011]

That dude is 39? Really? I love that Adrienne told him to defend himself, and that he’s standing up against Lisa. As we saw in this week’s episode, Adrienne really needs him. He’s hilarious too, I love his facial expressions, and people want to see him on camera. Also, that was so trashy of Lisa and her husband Ken to let their dog sit at the table with them and drink right out of the glasses! Who knows what was set up by producers, though.

When someone close to you dies, everything kind of seems like it stops. It’s hard to pay attention or care about all the other details in life because they suddenly seem insignificant. That’s kind of how I felt about the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season premiere in the wake of Russel Armstrong’s suicide. What’s more is that all the petty infighting and extreme superficiality that make up the show are hard to stomach when you realize the toll it took on one of the castmembers. Russell made the decision to take his own life, and that was his alone to make. When you’re watching the events that lead up to his suicide, it’s not possible to get the same kind of voyeuristic enjoyment out of them. I’ll probably continue watching this season as I want to see what happens when Brandi Glanville is finally introduced. It was very hard to watch the season opener, though.

First off, the show opened with only the most cursory coverage of Russell’s death. We’ve heard that they were going to do some kind of “suicide special,” and that they’d re-edited the show to remove Russell. All they did to cover the news of his suicide was to have all the women except Taylor gather at Lisa’s house and discuss how it affected them. That scene lasted less than five minutes. Everyone was crying except Lisa, and then Kyle summed up the producers’ stance on his death by basically saying life, as in the show, must go on. She explained during the sit down that “Plenty of men, their wives leave them and they don’t kill themselves. You cannot feel responsible for that. Nobody can, it was his choice.” Later she narrated, “For me, it’s very hard to move forward because it’s such a tragic situation. And so many people have been left hurt by it. And as difficult as that is, life goes on. It has to.”

They put up a disclaimer before the show that “The events depicted in this series were recorded before the death of Russell Armstrong” and that was it. Then they launched into a madcap recap of last season and it was like we were thrust back into their stupid world where people can get mortally injured and no one is supposed to think twice about it.

I started a recap of this episode, but I’m not going to bother including it all here. The big scene was an argument that Kyle had with Lisa’s husband, Ken, at a dinner party thrown by the Maloofs. Taylor opened up to the group that she was in therapy with Russell to try and save their marriage and then Ken said a bunch of dumb cliched sh*t about how he would never go to a psychologist. “I want to try and sort it out myself… If I had to see a therapist to make my marriage better I would feel weak.”

Then Taylor took off to the bathroom crying and Kyle tried to comfort her. In the bathroom, Taylor delivered the best line of the night. “You’re carrying a little dog all dressed up in clothes. My husband’s in therapy and that’s weak?” I only wish she had said it to Ken’s face. Then Lisa came in to put on her lipgloss. It was a bitch move considering how many freaking bathrooms there are in that house. Lisa narrated that Taylor was “manipulative” for crying. It was incredibly rude, and she should have apologized to Taylor for the fact that her husband was an asshole to her. Back at the dinner table, Kyle tried to defend Taylor to Ken and then Lisa got all pissy and they left.

The rest of the season is going to be a lot more fighting and a lot more overspending and I honestly don’t think I’ll watch all of it. Again, I want to see Brandi but I don’t need to see these bitches fighting about nothing among themselves and with their husbands. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

There’s another new star worth mentioning. Adrienne got a little dog named “Jackpot” and they’re trying to set up some kind of rivalry between Jackpot and Lisa’s dog, Giggy. Jackpot is adorable, but it really made me wonder what happened to that beautiful German Shepherd that Paul bought Adrienne for her birthday. She probably hates that dog just like she hates Paul.

There was one humorous moment when Kim walked into the party in a bejeweled pant suit. Is it country and western, just really fug, or both?

Update: Here’s the video of the intro where they discuss Russel’s death.

If you’re not in the U.S. you can watch the trailer here

As Kaiser mentioned in the earlier story about shirtless Eddie Cibrian representing some bath and bedding line, his ex wife, Brandi Glanville, has been announced as joining The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. All the original six castmembers are back. Brandi isn’t an “official” castmember, probably because they don’t want to pay her on par with the others, but she’s on the show as a “friend.” The second season premieres on September 5th and a new trailer has been released. (Above) The first thing I notice is that it’s comical watching these heavily botoxed women try to cry, as mean as that sounds.

The most interesting part of the trailer is a scene between Brandi and Kim Richards. (Around 1:20.) Brandi snipes “At least I don’t do crystal meth in the bathroom all night long, bitch” The scene cuts forward and Brandi yells “I’ll kill you” and goes after Kim while Taylor tries to hold her back. Kim retorts by calling Brandi a “slut pig.” (US Weekly incorrectly writes that Camille Grammar calls Brandi a “slut pig.”) Later, Taylor is in some kind of tiff with Kyle and/or other people while Camille and Kyle are back at it again. Lisa’s scheming ex-houseguest Cedric comes back uninvited and is asked to leave one of Lisa’s party. At the end Taylor is screaming “you have no idea what she’s done to me” in reference to someone off camera.

Along with Brandi there’s another new woman on the show, Dana Wilkey, but we barely saw her on the trailer and I doubt she’ll bring the drama like Brandi. We’ve heard that Brandi becomes the new bitch, but I’m really surprised that she’s as combative as she is with Kim. I know this show is either heavily influenced by producers or fully scripted so that could explain it. Still I’ve had the impression that Brandi is more of a pacifist type based on how she handled her breakup and the one interview I’ve seen with her. I guess not.

Brandi posed in a bikini for the paps recently – a bikini that was reminiscent of the one that LeAnn Rimes wore in a Twitter photoshoot to show her “curves.” LeAnn regularly copies Brandi’s style. I would believe that she raided Brandi’s closet or bought a bikini based on an old photo of Brandi before I would buy that Brandi got a bikini to mimic LeAnn’s. Brandi looks good and she knows it. We’re about to see a whole new side of her.

Photos via Access Hollywood

There’s news that the entire cast of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, including classy alcoholic Kim Richards and recent divorcee Camille Grammer, have signed on for a second season of the show. I think this may speak to Kim’s need for a source of recurring income more than any desire to continue to expose her anxiety issues and her dysfunctional relationship with her mean sister. Here’s more, from Hollywood Life:

All of our favorite ladies from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are resigning their contracts with the show for a second season, HollywoodLife.com can exclusively confirm. Camille Grammer, Taylor Armstrong and Kim Richards were on the fence but they all said yes today.

“Taylor was hesitating because of the spotlight on her marriage which caused problems for her and her husband Russell, who is actually a genuinely good man,” says a source close to Lisa Vanderpump, another star of the show. “They actually have a pretty happy marriage but it wasn’t portrayed that way, but she wants another chance at showing how they really are in love with each other.”

And as for Camille? “She had the hardest decision to make after dealing with Kelsey so blatantly rushing to marry his mistress (Kayte Walsh), and she has her children to worry about,” reveals our insider. “But she is holding on strong for her children and we’ll be able to see how she deals with the grief in the new season. I’m sure she will show how dignified she can be in the face of her traumatic experience.”

“Kim and her sister Kyle obviously have a lot to work on, but they have both signed on as well,” continues our source.

“They are all very excited and will try to be more savvy about how they portray themselves. In reality, they get along better off-camera and want to show they aren’t just about shopping and cattiness.”

[From Hollywood Life]

Taylor was not hesitating no matter what she wants us to believe. She needs the money to continue hustling like the true grifter she is.

I finally watched the RHOBH “lost footage” special over the weekend and there were a couple of interesting scenes in there. I was practically crying when Lisa’s little teacup Pomeranian, Giggy, was having skin issues and the breeder told Lisa to put him down! (My mom lost her Shih Tzu very recently due to allergies to dust mites. He ultimately had to be put to sleep after he had a neurological reaction to the very toxic allergy medication the vet put him on.) Giggy turned out fine and remains one of the most pampered pets on television.

Also there was footage of Kyle viciously going after a drunk woman who was hanging on her husband at their white party. Kim spat at the older woman that she would put a “Manolo” in her eye. Leave it to Kyle to name drop a designer when she’s making threats. She also didn’t even scold her husband for not pushing the woman off. Maybe that psychic was right about him. I wouldn’t be surprised.

Photos via Bravo TV