Yes, Dan Akroyd is a “wild and crazy guy,” but a recent infomercial type video released on the internet has many asking just how crazy. In the 8-minute long clip, Akroyd appears to be hawking a new vodka, quadruple distilled, triple filtered through diamonds, which gives it a unique light, sweet, creamy taste.

At this point, no one is able to discern if the video and website are sincere or a well placed viral campaign, possibly for the anticipated Ghostbusters 3 movie said to be in the works. As NY Magazine pointed out, Akroyd makes a direct reference to “ectoplasm” in the sales pitch, but it does seem to be meant as a mocking reference to his most popular movies.

Dan Akroyd has had a very keen and public interest in the paranormal and extraterrestrial for a long time.  He’s even been on CNN discussing UFO’s in a very serious and educated way, so the idea behind Crystal Head Vodka isn’t the suspect part of the “ads” as far as Akroyd is concerned.  In fact, over half the video sounds like the beginning of an episode of Unexplained Mysteries.  But watching them, you won’t be able to keep from expecting him to say if you buy a bottle of Crystal Head Vodka today, he’ll throw in a Bassmatic for only $14.95.

There are times when you think it’s possible this guy has immersed himself a little too deep into his other-wordly interests and came out a little bit the crazy for it and this is a genuine product, but when visiting the Crystal Head Vodka website, it’s impossible not to notice that there is no place to click to order yourself a nice bottle of “triple Herkimer diamond filtered Newfoundland deep aquifer pure spirit vodka”.  Which would be the perfect Halloween night, sit on the front porch getting toasted and yell at all the little trick-or-treaters to get off your property.

Burlesque performer and International sensation Dita Von Teese, 35, launched her new line of undergarments with Wonderbra today, posing with a giant bra with a sequin bow design on the cups. She was also shown flanked by models wearing the line, which feature retro-inspired prints and styles.

I’m not a big Dita Von Teese fan – she’s too haughty for my taste, but that’s part of her appeal I guess. Wonderbra could not have picked a better spokesperson, though. Dita exudes retro glamor and this collection is seductive with pieces that range from elegant to naughty. I would definitely wear some of these bras.

Dita’s new line is available at stores online and in the UK starting today. You can find a store near you on SexyScienceByDita.com.

Photos are from WENN and courtesy of Wonderbra.

Here’s a video promoting the line:

We were not paid at all to promote this product.

Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld have put out their second ad for Microsoft which only makes a moderate amount of sense. It features the two mega rich middle aged men living in a house with what’s supposed to be an average American family. It’s a bit more amusing than the last ad in which they struggled to try on shoes at a mall, which isn’t saying much. This commercial will not do much to improve the image of the most widely used and derided computer operating system. What are they trying to say? That Microsoft is middle America – that they’re middle America? As I mentioned in our article about the first ad, I liked the swirlie doodle ads about people’s business dreams better.

While I have to admit that Bill Gates is kind of funny and endearing, it still doesn’t make dealing with his software any more tolerable. It’s like they want us to embrace Microsoft despite its many flaws because it’s just like everyday life. Sh*t happens and it’s occasionally somewhat amusing if you have a low-key attitude about it. Now excuse me while my computer reboots because it’s just downloaded the latest Vista “update” which will force me to re-register several programs. I wish I was kidding.

When are you coming out with an operating system, Google? Please save us from this inane excuse for an OS. And don’t tell me to switch to a Mac, I’ve already paid for all this software. Do any of you use those free open source operating systems like Linux or FreeBSD? Can an average person work those or do you have to be a techie?

Let me take this opportunity to recommend a free Microsoft Office alternative called Open Office. It’s put out by Sun Microsystems and is just as easy to use and powerful as Office. It has a word processing program like Word, a spreadsheet program like Excel, and it even has a Powerpoint alternative. And you can save all your documents in formats that work in Microsoft Office for when you need to share them. I’ve used it for several months without a problem and it’s saved me hundreds on software. So bite me, Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates. You wasted millions on these stupid ads that just cement how clueless you are.

Thanks to E! Online for the heads up on the video.

Jerry Seinfeld is said to have been paid around $10 million to represent Microsoft in a campaign that will cost the company $300 million. There are surely more ridiculous douche-tastic commercials coming, but this one takes the cake. Pretty much literally, considering the ending, which people on The Huffington Post are saying basically means “let them eat cake.” This commercial makes no sense, isn’t funny, and just brings it home how out of touch Microsoft is. Seinfeld isn’t funny or relevant anymore, but they figured they’d hire him and he does seem like an apt representative for their shitty brand.

I really liked those Microsoft commercials with the little swirlies and doodles that showed the possibilities with the software. And the Amy Sedaris bunny-run cakeshop ads were genius. Both made me feel a little better about putting up with Microsoft products for hours daily, but this ad just makes me want to switch to a Mac.

High end shoe retailer Johnston & Murphy has made the decision to no longer display in-store ads featuring new spokeman X-Files star David Duchovny, 48. Duchovny announced last week that he was suffering from a sex addiction and was currently in rehab for treatment. The actor has two children and has been married for 11 years to actress Téa Leoni. According to the NY Post, the NY store on Madison Ave. is no longer displaying the Duchovny ads, with a store employee saying that “We got the call from corporate this morning to take him down.”

Duchovny’s campaign was a new one for the retailer, and their press releases ahead of the August launch touted the actor’s image and even tied him to the brand, using the tagline, Johnston, Murphy & Duchovny:

The X-Files: I Want to Believe opened in an underwhelming fourth place among the top ten movies this past weekend, but actor David Duchovny is No. 1 at men’s sportswear, footwear and accessories company Johnston & Murphy, where he will star in a national campaign breaking in August.

The effort, via Toth Brand Imaging, Cambridge, Mass., is anchored by a print campaign that will launch in September issues of such publications as Esquire, Forbes, Fortune and Men’s Health. Support includes Internet and POP. Spend for the campaign was not disclosed.

The ads show Duchovny, with a pensive look on his face, wearing Johnston & Murphy sportswear and shoes and, in some creative, accompanied by accessories such as a briefcase and other leather goods. Text reads: “Johnston, Murphy & Duchovny.”

The effort is part of the company’s recent strategy to rejuvenate the 157-year-old brand “by portraying a fresher, more dynamic and relevant image in the marketplace, as well as promote emerging categories such as luggage, small leather goods and outerwear.” Former ads have featured musician Ziggy Marley, BMX rider Mat Hoffman and football star Tiki Barber.

“We’re thrilled to have David Duchovny as part of our ad campaign,” Jason Dasal, vp-marketing at Johnston & Murphy, Nashville, Tenn., said in a statement. “David embodies success and confidence, along with a great sense of style, communicating the ideal image for the Johnston & Murphy brand.”

[From Brandweek]

I wonder if Duchovny’s contract had any stipulations about his personal life. You can see why the brand wouldn’t want to be associated with him after this, and I bet the person who came up with that pitch is kicking themselves for tying it so closely to Duchovny’s character. At least he has his legs crossed in the ads, although he looks kind of skeevy to me now considering what I know about him.

Extra! has Jessica Simpson’s new Stampede Lite Beer ad. The singer sits on some hay in the back of a pickup truck, her jacket open to reveal her bouncing cleavage, a white cowboy hat on her head. Simpson’s mouth is open in a kind of passive sex doll way, and her eyes have a vacant stare that suggest she’s ready for anything and will just lay there and take it. The beer is positioned to the lower right of the ad and it looks positively phallic, especially considering its placement relative to Simpson. I’ve seen worse beer ads, though, they’re pretty much the norm. There were billboards a few years ago that featured women in bikinis looking like they were the beer that seemed especially obnoxious.

Here’s what AdAge calls the most sexist beer ad ever – an ad by Heineken featuring female robots pulling kegs out of their stomachs. Jessica Simpson with her mouth agape and that wasted look in her eye is nothing compared to this, but we’ll have to see what she puts out for video ads:

80% of all beer in the US is consumed by men, with light beer brands more popular than regular beer.

I have clearly been living in New York for too long. I’ve just become jaded and unable to be shocked. Because I just watched Eva Mendes’ new advertisement for Calvin Klein’s Secret Obsession and didn’t think anything of it. But apparently the ad is so racy that it’s been banned from American television. There is a teeny bitof nipple at a few points, but my eyes must be getting worse because I didn’t see anything all that offensive. But I guess it’s still just way too shocking for any of us to even think about viewing.

What a waste. Spoilsport American TV network bosses have banned this advert featuring EVA MENDES for being TOO sexy. In the steamy commercial for Calvin Klein’s Secret Obsession perfume, the gorgeous actress writhes topless on a bed.

Eva admitted she was “thrilled” that the ad was considered too saucy for US broadcast. Eva, 33, said: “I love it. That means the ads are totally Calvin, totally provocative and a little controversial.” She continued: “In the commercial you’ll see me rolling around in bed a lot, that’s basically all I do. I have been a fan of Calvin Klein’s Obsession ads since I can remember.” She added: “I love to feel super-feminine. I love dresses and skirts and dislike jeans. I think what makes a woman sexy is confidence.”

Creative Director of the advert Fabien Baron said: “This country really needs a new president — this country is so messed up. It’s such a joke and it’s quite upsetting, frankly, how hypocritical this country has become. It’s OK for children to see people killed by guns? Spreading a little love right now would be a good idea. She is being a little sexy, but they are not provocative.”

[From The Sun]

While I’d totally agree that this country needs a new president, I seriously doubt George Bush had much to do with the banning of these ads. A new head of the FCC would be nice. This has a lot more to do with some overly-restrictive government body that’s had nothing to do since Nipplegate officially wrapped up a few weeks ago.

I can kind of understand why this shouldn’t be shown on Nickelodeon and maybe during certain hours where young children are most likely to be watching television. But I don’t think it’s that sensationally raunchy that it needs to be banned altogether.

Here is the video; it’s obviously sorta SFW.

35 year-old British actor Jude Law has been gradually losing his hair and has been seen out with a much more prominent widows peak as the crown of his head is exposed. That’s nothing to be ashamed of and since my mid 20s I’ve been attracted to men who are bald or balding for some reason – not the paunchy type with wisps of a comb-over, but the proud guys who cut it short or shave it off and don’t try to hold on to their hair. Law is kind of in between and has cut it short at times but has also grown it back and hasn’t rocked a bald head like Bruce Willis.

In Law’s latest ad campaigns for Dior and Dunhill he’s had either some cosmetic or Photoshop help with his hair. The Daily Mail points out that he’s sporting much more growth at the top. It’s not really his decision whether advertisers chose to make his hair look like it did five years ago, but it’s pretty obvious that it’s not the same. Law’s rep says there hasn’t been any retouching done, though:

The widow’s peak so starkly evident in more recent photos has been filled in.

The style makes 35-year-old Law look a little more as he did when he first became famous in movies such as The Talented Mr Ripley.

While women in the public eye often have imperfections airbrushed out, Law has had perfection brushed in – either through artful hairstyling or plain artistry.
Airbrush expert Chris Bickmore said: ‘I wouldn’t say it was hairstyling as they can’t style hair that isn’t there.

‘It’s definitely been retouched to bring hair into the gaps where he’s receding.
‘It’s not really that difficult a procedure, no more than one and a half hours.’

A spokesman for Jude Law said: ‘I can categorically say there has been no digital enhancement. It is nonsense.’

[From The Daily Mail]

Law was most recently spotted out with model Lily Cole, 20. He’s definitely trying to turn back the clock in his personal life as well as with his hair.

There’s nothing shocking about airbrushing, though. Women in magazines are subject to it constantly so men may as well be worked over too.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s Jude Law’s high profile advertising campaign for Alfred Dunhill and Dior. The campaign was shot by acclaimed photographer Greg Williams, who was responsible for behind-the-scenes stills of the recent Bond and Bourne movies. Images thanks to Splash.

Anthony Dixon / WENN
Puffy has a $100 million deal to promote Ciroc vodka and Kanye West is the face of Absolut in new egocentric ads that don’t even reveal they’re promoting anything more than Kanye-ness.

There are new “Be Kanye” spoof ads featuring little tablets that promise to turn you into Kanye West that are actually ads for Absolut. According to the “Be Kanye” ads, vodka can solve all your problems and make you rich, arrogant and attractive to women. Because all you need to do to feel good about yourself is get wasted.

Granted you have to google and visit the website to see the ads to realize that they’re substituting little pills for vodka and making it seem like a cure all. Removing the product from the ad makes you do that extra bit of work that supposedly connects you to the brand or whatever marketing people would call it in that ridiculous jargon-filled way that they speak. JayBird said she saw these ads a couple weeks ago in NY and looked them up at home. They must be effective because JayBird did it and here we are giving them free advertising.

When Diddy did a presumably blind taste test on Ellen of four different vodkas he made a face at the vodka that turned out to be Absolut and had trouble telling the difference between Ketel One and Ciroc, saying they both went down well. That was more convincing to me than these ads, because I care if a vodka tastes smooth and helps me preserve the sexy. I want to be me, but with a buzz and without a hangover the next day.

Be Kanye Covert Ad:

More obvious ad where all the clubgoers try to be Kanye to get the ladies:

McConaughey grilling in May, 2007. Credit: Splash News
Matthew McConaughey has recorded a new radio ad for the National Cattleman’s Beef Association and after listening to it I want to savor a filet mignon and touch myself.

Here’s a link to the audio for the ad.

He says: “You see those hickory smoke signals? That’s a sure sign it’s grilling season in the land of lean beef. Some strip steaks sizzling, tantalizing the entire suburb. That delicious aroma is all the motivation you need to seek out its source. Because out here a neighbor is just a friend you haven’t fed yet. Discover the power of protein in the land of lean beef. Beef, it’s what’s for dinner.”

With those few words, McConaughey has conjured up images of luring me to his trailer with the smell of grilling meat, sometime in the pre-Camila era. Fantasy is always sexier than reality, though. We published photos of McConaughey grilling last year and he looked pretty scruffy and was likely stinking of b.o. at the time. But he’s cleaned up now that he has a girlfriend and a new baby. I can always eat a burger and dream.

OK! Magazine has new details of McConaughey’s newborn baby, Levi. They say he “has his dad’s curls and his mom’s dark hair.” They also say Matt is helping out with changing the baby and giving him baths in order to give Camila a break. The upcoming issue of OK! features Jessica Alba and her baby Honor on the cover. McConaughey reportedly made a $3 million deal with the magazine for exclusive photos of Levi. He’s only a week and a half old at this point so it may be a little while before he makes his debut.

Thanks to US Weekly for the heads up on Matt’s ad.