Megan Fox’s pan-Asian catface has been the official crotch of Armani for what seems like an interminable length of time. Part of that isn’t Megan’s fault – I think the Armani people were so thrilled with themselves for hiring Megan that they kind of went overboard with the incessant “new ad” releases every time Megan’s Official Face changed, or every time her mouth farted. Maybe it was the last “new ads” (which weren’t really new) that were released and heavily criticized, or maybe Megan no longer sells… whatever happened, Megan’s crotch is being replaced. By Rihanna. Eh.

She may be a pro at scoring beauty endorsements, but it looks like Rihanna’s hot-body assets are finally getting the worldwide recognition they deserve!

The Grammy-winning artist, 23, has been named as the new face (and body) of Emporio Armani Underwear and Armani Jeans, the label announced on Monday in a release.

The Fall/Winter 2011-2012 ad campaign, which was shot in New York, will debut in September across both national and international markets.

Rihanna follows in the footsteps of sexy siren Megan Fox, who modeled for the label in a 2010 campaign and was reportedly paid a six-figure salary for her work. (Footballer Cristiano Ronaldo was the actress’s male counterpart in the ads.) Prior to Fox, Victoria and David Beckham posed for the label in 2009.

For the “S&M” singer, this marks her first fashion endorsement deal. She currently holds posts as a celeb spokesperson for CoverGirl (since 2007) and NIVEA (which she landed this past May).

[From Us Weekly]

I don’t hate most of Rihanna’s pictorials, and Armani gets some talented people to work on their campaigns, so maybe it won’t be that bad. Rihanna’s got a great figure, and I am not opposed to Rihanna trying to sell me some Armani booty shorts, or even a tank top. BUT…you know that if Rihanna has her way, it will be Armani S&M, bondage gear crap, with really dark images. Ugh. That’s what I fear. That, and the Kool-Aid hair.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Since Rachel Weisz up and married her crazy-hot jumpoff Daniel Craig, she’s been keeping a low profile. There have only been a couple of candid shots of her – you can see some here, at Pop Sugar, where it looks like Rachel is flashing her wedding ring. It’s a grainy pic, and I don’t really see the “bling” being discussed – it just looks like a wedding band to me. Anyway, since we don’t have those pics, let’s look at these new images from Rachel’s new ad campaign for Bulgari that were just released. Well… I mean, I love her. I’ve loved her for a long time. I have a soft spot for brunette bitches, and Rachel is always one of my top choices for Hot Girl Friday. She’s like the brunette, biscuit-y version of Michael Fassbender: I know I should find her sketchy, but I just get turned on. Rachel is gorgeous, so I have to wonder: was it necessary to Photoshop her this much? She has laugh lines, and that’s okay. She doesn’t need to look like a plastic doll reclining on a lion.

The ad campaign is for Bulgari’s Jasmin Noir perfume. You know who else is a “face” of a Bulgari scent? Clive Owen. I’m just saying… whoever picks the models at Bulgari knows what they’re doing. The campaign was shot by Mert Alas & Marcus, and yes, she’s wearing Bulgari jewelry.

Ad photos courtesy of SassyBella.

The latest face of L’oreal’s men’s skincare line, L’Oreal Paris Men Expert, is scruffy grumpy Hugh Laurie of House. Hugh will represent the line overseas, like Gerard Butler and Patrick Dempsey before him. Now, I can see Dempsey and maybe Butler representing men’s skincare, but this just seems beneath Laurie. I’m trying to separate him from his character on House, for whom this role as spokesperson would be laughable. From what I know of British Laurie he’s quite down-to-earth and not at all Hollywood. But I guess that makes him the perfect score for a skincare line. Here’s more, from The Daily Mail:

And today Hugh Laurie is cast in an unlikely new role, as the male face for L’Oreal Paris Men Expert products.

He joins fellow Hollywood stars Gerard Butler and Patrick Dempsey, who are already ambassadors for L’Oreal Paris.

Hugh said: ‘At first I thought it was a mistake, but then I realised that

L’Oreal wasn’t looking for models but for people with strong personalities, who are worth it…and who aren’t afraid to proclaim that using cosmetics can be a very masculine decision after all.’

The men’s grooming business has grown significantly over the past two years, with British men now spending more on skincare than ever before.

And Laurie could be the ideal model to attract men who fear their masculinity will be threatened by using cosmetics.

Laurie has won critical and popular acclaim for his portrayal of the curmudgeonly but brilliant Dr Gregory House in the hugely popular U.S. medical drama House.

But after eight series it seems he may be ready to leave the Vicodin-addicted misanthropic character behind and try something new.

He told the Radio Times: ‘The end of [the eighth] season, right now, looks like the end of the show. That is as far as they have got me for.’

The 51-year-old is estimated to be paid around £250,000 [$400,000 USD] an episode – now making him the best paid actor on television.

[From The Daily Mail]

There’s also this video of Hugh in which he kind of makes fun of his new gig. I just love hearing him speak in his regular accent. I still find Hugh as a skincare spokeman puzzling but the guy might feel more secure with a few more million in the bank now that House is possibly winding down. That’s probably the motivating factor behind this. He used to talk about how he was afraid he would lose his gig on House, and now that it’s possibly looming after the next and eighth season it could have convinced him that this wasn’t a bad idea.

Hugh Laurie is shown on 5/3/11 and 5/7/11. Credit: WENN.com

Below is the first video/commercial for Angelina Jolie’s Louis Vuitton ad campaign. It’s not really about buying luxury leather goods, though. It seems more like a travel ad for Cambodia. Which is to say… after watching this, I felt like “Damn, I should travel more” rather than “Damn, I should buy a Louis Vuitton handbag.” As we talked about when we saw the first print ad from the campaign, LV and Angelina are working on something called the “Core Values” campaign, which is basically like “Louis Vuitton applauds people who aren’t JUST pretty, but have something to offer the world.” People like Bono and Mikhail Gorbachev also do “Core Values” ads.

It’s nice. Angelina looks very pretty, and the shots are about her lovely face rather than her odd feet. The script is “In 2000, Angelina Jolie made her first trip to Cambodia… It was a journey that would change her life forever.” Because it was in Cambodia that Angelina decided to become a UNHCR goodwill ambassador, and adopt her son Maddox, and buy a huge tract of land and turn it into a nature preserve, and build a hospital, etc.

Screencaps from the video, plus Jolie’s LV print ad.

These are some photos of Tobey MaGuire for Prada menswear looking like he’s a convicted investment banker biding his time until his house arrest is over. He looks trapped and annoyed, and like he’s staring off into the distance, wishing for a career that has passed him by. We haven’t heard much about Tobey since Spiderman ended (and is subsequently being rebooted without him) but I never expected him to represent a luxury label – or any label for that matter. This is a guy who is notoriously careful with his money, who grew up being raised by relatives, and who has admitted that he’s budget-conscious. He doesn’t seem like he would actually buy Prada, nonetheless model for them. It’s a strange choice for Tobey, but it makes sense for Prada. Tobey is famous, he’s relatively elusive, and he’s A list. He just seems so listless in these ads.

Despite the fact that he basically fell off the cultural radar when the “Spider-Man” trilogy ended, and also considering he has never exactly been considered a heartthrob, Tobey Maguire is nevertheless the face of the new campaign for Prada’s menswear.

Describing this unexpected, unconventional choice, Miuccia Prada is quoted in The Hollywood Reporter as saying: “his mood is transfixed and pensive, full of vibrant intensity and mystery.”

Meanwhile, for his part, model Maguire is (also unexpectedly) a big fan of the Prada head:

“Miuccia Prada has inspired a culture of creativity that is woven through every aspect of her company, from her collections, her campaigns, to every design detail in her stores,” the actor said in the THR story, adding: “I have such admiration for her artistry and I’m thrilled to be a part of Prada’s fall campaign.”

We… really don’t know what to say. He looks pensive? Confused? Forlorn? Pallid? Going out on a limb here, but somehow we don’t see teen girls across the country ripping these ads out to paste on their walls.

[From OMG.yahoo.com]

This is not the same guy who said that he was “very conservative with my money,” or that he would do fine without it. “If you stripped away everything I’ve got – the money, the fame, the possessions, everything – I know that I’d find a way to get along, because, basically, that’s what I’ve had to do all my life.” Guys who talk like that don’t drop thousands on designer outfits, but maybe they’re willing to wear them and pose for some pictures when their film careers have slowed considerably. Tobey has three movies coming out next year. This year, he had a film that premiered at Sundance and he was the voice in a video game. Before that he was in 2009′s Brothers.

Photos via Hollywood Reporter and Ad Week.

This is the new ad for Marc Jacobs’ perfume Lola, starring 17-year-old Dakota Fanning. What’s up with the Fanning girls lately, huh? I guess it’s not really their fault that stylists, designers and photographers keep putting them in these “Lolita” photo shoots, but at some point, maybe their parents should say something? In Elle’s case – with the Blackbook and Marie Claire photo shoots, which I considered much too adult for a 13 year old – I expressed my hope that the “Lolita” styling was just about how easily Elle’s “look” can easily go to that retro Jean Shrimpton/Twiggy vibe. As for Dakota, who just graduated high school but isn’t yet legally an adult, I feel like she signed on to this Marc Jacobs campaign with her eyes wide open. I mean, did they have to pose her with the “flower bottler” right on her crotch?

At just 17, Dakota Fanning is still a year under the legal age of consent in her home state of California, but this trifling fact doesn’t seem to concern Marc Jacobs. The 48-year-old designer chose to place the teenager in a provocative pose – in homage to a 1950s novel about sex with an under age girl – to sell his new perfume, Oh, Lola!

Jacobs’ long-term collaborator Juergen Teller shot the Twilight star in Los Angeles wearing a girlish, pink scalloped polka dot dress. The background, is similarly juvenile – it’s monotone pastel pink compounding the innocence of the composition. But then a large bottle of the scent, featuring it’s signature rose-top has been placed provocatively in between the young starlet’s legs. The teenager clutches it as she tilts back lasciviously and stares intently into the camera.

New Yorker Jacobs admits that his intention was to portray the young woman as a re-boot of the tragic character in Vladimir Nabokov’s 1955 novel, Lolita, which tells the story of young girl’s sexual relationship with a much older man, who becomes her step-father.

He told Women’s Wear Daily: ‘When we were speaking about who to use in the ads, I had recently seen The Runaways…I knew she could be this contemporary Lolita, seductive yet sweet.’

The iconic novel tells the story of sexual predator Humbert Humbert and his exploitation of his ‘Lolita’ from the age of 12.

Ironically, this is the age at which Dakota first posed for the successful designer.

The pull of Jacobs is so strong that Fanning admitted she was: ‘humbled by the offer and said yes immediately.’ Dakota recently graduated from high school and joined her peers to receive her diploma. She attended classes at the $30,000 a year private school in North Hollywood and last year was crowned Homecoming Queen. But despite her Hollywood career Dakota insists that she is a down-to-earth normal teenager.

She said: ‘I have such a normal life when I’m not working… It’s just nice to be around people you care about and who know you best.’

[From The Mail]

So, Marc Jacobs wanted to create this creepy, sexualized image of a 17-year-old girl who looks 13. Gross. Of course, Jacobs also sexualized himself for the ads for his men’s cologne Bang:

So… he doesn’t have the best judgment. By the way, CB wanted me mention that Justin Bieber (of all people) is in trouble because his perfume Someday blatantly rips off the Lola flower bottle. You can see photos of the two bottles here, at E!.

Ads courtesy of Google.

Here is the first ad for Angelina Jolie’s newest ad campaign, for Louis Vuitton. Several months ago, it was announced/rumored that Jolie had signed on to a Vuitton campaign for a sum of around $10 million. Soon after, she and a few of her kids flew to Cambodia, where she was photographed by Annie Leibovitz for the campaign. I like the image a lot, I like how Jolie looks subdued and not fancy and made up. What I hate are her feet. She’s a beautiful woman with one glaring flaw that comes up in too many photo shoots – her feet are totally jacked and gigantic. It’s weird. Anyway, WWD got the preview of the campaign, plus an interview with some LV people:

She’s barefoot, wearing her own clothes, no makeup and toting her own elegantly weathered monogrammed Alto bag. Yet Angelina Jolie looks radiant and completely in her element, reclining on a wooden boat in a verdant, lakeside landscape in Cambodia’s Siem Reap province. Jolie discovered the country in 2000 when she filmed “Lara Croft: Tomb Raider,” and it sparked her humanitarian activism.

She’s the latest celebrity to pose for Louis Vuitton’s popular “Core Values” campaign — and surely the only one who brought four children to the photo shoot, some of whom had to be shooed out of Annie Leibovitz’s frame.

“People are not used to seeing Angelina in this situation,” said Pietro Beccari, Vuitton’s executive vice president, unveiling the image exclusively to WWD. “I like the fact that it’s a real moment. This travel message we give through personal journeys is a fundamental one for the brand.”

The ad is slated to break in the International Herald Tribune on Wednesday, followed by a range of news, general interest and lifestyle publications, including Vanity Fair.

Beccari declined to disclose budgets for the media buy, or comment on reports Vuitton paid the American actress millions for the shoot. He would only say Jolie donated an undisclosed portion of her fees to a charity.

The campaign is expected to run for at least 18 months alongside a few other recent “core values” personalities, including Bono and Sean Connery. Vuitton introduced the advertising concept in 2007 as a way to trumpet its travel roots and showcase its perennial monogrammed leather goods as a balance to its fashion-driven marketing — and to reach a broader audience. Other personalities who have posed for Vuitton include Mikhail Gorbachev, Keith Richards and Catherine Deneuve.

Also on Wednesday, Vuitton plans to post a teaser on its Web site, louisvuittonjourneys.com/cambodia, foreshadowing an interview with Jolie that will be posted later in the month. In it, she is expected to discuss how her visit to Cambodia was a life-changing experience, awakening her to the plight of Third World countries. She adopted her eldest son, Maddox, from Cambodia and she and husband Brad Pitt established the Maddox Jolie-Pitt Foundation, which is active in community development and conservation in the country.

“This campaign is about a very special person and a very special journey,” Beccari said.

And a storied handbag. Beccari showed off several paparazzi shots of Jolie toting the Alto carryall, which is believed to be at least six years old. The style is no longer in production, but “we are considering to re-edit it,” Beccari noted.

[From WWD]

This dude is probably talking about these photos of Angelina and Brad shopping for Shiloh’s fifth birthday party, in which Angelina’s LV bag can be seen. I have to admit, I’m not a tremendous fan of LV’s monogrammed pieces, BUT I like the idea of this ad campaign, and I think it’s done very well. I just wish I wasn’t focusing on her feet so much.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WWD/LV.

Here are some newly-released print ads for Jennifer Aniston’s gig with SmartWater. There are so many SmartWater ads with Aniston – I remember the first few campaigns, Aniston was fully clothed, and there was, like, poetry about bottled water as Aniston was seen tossing her hair back. In the past year or so, SmartWater decided to sex it up and Aniston has been seen with less clothes, which I think she enjoys – she loves taking off her kit for photo shoots in general. The above image is the better photo from this latest round, I think. Her body looks great, it’s a cute little outfit, and Aniston’s face is Photoshopped to look like Natalia Vodianova. It’s a lovely pic, but Aniston doesn’t really look like that. Also: why are these images being released now? They were obviously shot months ago, before Aniston’s haircut. Why now? Why this week?

The second image is kind of weird. I’ve never seen a celebrity exit a limo with a dazed look and a bottle of SmartWater in their hand. But sure. Why not? Aniston probably needs to hydrate after doing vodka shots in the back of the limo. Or who knows, the SmartWater bottle could be filled with vodka, like Linnocent fills up her Red Bull cans with… liquid crack, I guess.

By the way, in other Aniston news, I thought this one of the most interesting stories of the week: you know how Aniston is moving to NYC and she bought two huge apartments in the same West Village building that she’s going to turn into one even bigger, two-floor apartment? Well, Aniston purchased the apartments under the name “Norman’s Nest Trust” – Norman is her dog. Her dog owns the apartments. Well, her dog’s trust owns the apartments. Odd. I’m sure there’s a business explanation for it, but that story just amused me.

Photos courtesy of WENN, SmartWater via The Mail.

Above is a preview of why Emma Watson dropped out of college. Her Lancome contract! This is the first print ad for Emma Watson’s campaign for Lancome’s “Tresor Midnight Rose” Fragrance. Isn’t it just awful? While I’ve never gotten on the “Emma Watson is Beautiful” bandwagon – I find her cute, not stunning – she is so much prettier than this image. Honestly, the paparazzi got better, more attractive photos of Emma WHILE SHE WAS SHOOTING THE AD. Maybe she’ll look great for the Lancome commercials. Maybe Lancome should have chosen some styling that didn’t make Emma look like Justin Bieber.

At the perfume launch yesterday (you can see photos of Emma’s Carmen Miranda style here), Emma said: “I didn’t really like perfumes before because I thought they were heavy, but this one is really light and playful. I feel lucky to embody a fragrance I am so crazy in love with.”

Meanwhile, Mario Testino must be smoking crack, because he was the one to shoot Emma for this campaign, and here he is puffing Emma (and himself) up: “I’ve watched Emma grow up. She was a little girl when I first worked with her, then I shot her for Burberry, then British Vogue, then Lancome. The great thing about Emma is that she’s a chameleon; she can communicate anything you ask.” Testino must have asked for “The Bieber” then?

Ad preview courtesy of Hollywood Life, additional pics courtesy of Fame.

Oh, come all ye peasants, and gather round, for our Peasant Ambassador has an announcement! Dame Gwyneth Paltrow has been named the new face of Coach! How… gauche. She used to be the face of Tod’s, for the love of God. At least when she represented Tod’s, she knew that a peasant would have to shell out four-figures to buy one of her recommended purses. But Coach? Some of those things go for a peasant-friendly $100. GASP. And some are made from (EEK!) nylon. Oh, how the mighty Goop has fallen.

From “Glee” cameos to penning a cookbook and launching a career in country music, Gwyneth Paltrow is clearly looking to cultivate a wider audience and her latest move fits that bill. Coach Inc. confirmed that Paltrow will also serve as a brand ambassador for the international campaign to mark its 70th anniversary this fall and next spring.

Shot by Peter Lindbergh on a Manhattan rooftop, the print, digital and outdoor ads will only be used for select markets in Asia and Europe, including France, Spain, the U.K., Portugal and China.

“I grew up in New York City and I’ve always thought of Coach as the quintessential New York brand,” Paltrow said. “I’ll never forget getting my first Coach bag.”

The images will break in international September books. Coach’s president and executive creative director Reed Krakoff called Paltrow, who in the past played model for Tod’s and Christian Dior, “a natural choice.…She embodies the spirit, energy and elegance of the Coach brand,” he said.

[From WWD]

“I grew up in New York City and I’ve always thought of Coach as the quintessential New York brand…I’ll never forget getting my first Coach bag.” Ugh. Gwyneth continued, “My first Coach bag was given to me by my spiritual advisor/admirer when I was six years old. I asked my father, ‘What is this tacky thing?’ And he said, ‘Don’t worry, my beloved, we’ll bedazzle this junk with rubies and diamonds, so it will be worthy of you.’ So that was my first Coach bag, and it’s so bonkers (as they say in cultured London), as I was just telling my best friend Beyonce the other day, ‘Isn’t it funny that poor people can’t afford Hermes?’ And Bey said, ‘You should do something about that, love. People need you to speak out on this issue!’ So I asked for counsel from my bestie Deepka Chopra and he said ‘You, my dear Gwyneth, would be a good fit for Kate Spade.’ Isn’t that brilliant? But Madame Spade and I talked about it as we were making caviar meringues, and we decided it wouldn’t be the best fit. Finally, my dear best friend the Dali Lama called me on my rotary and said, ‘I’ve got it, dear princess, you shall be the face of Coach!’ And so it all happened for me, because everything is always about me!”

Photos courtesy of Fame.