Proving that you should never pick up your keys or cell phone after you’ve had too much to drink (unless you’re calling/texting for a ride and handing the keys over), rapper Lil Bow Wow tweeted on New Years eve that he was so wasted he couldn’t feel his face and that he probably shouldn’t have driven his Lamborghini. You think? The 22 year-old was hanging out with two other singers known for their great decision making skills, Chris Brown and Akon. Why am I not surprised to learn these three are friends?

Bow Wow realized what a dumb move he’d made by both driving and tweeting about it and apologized and deleted the post the next morning. It didn’t matter though because he’d already put it out there.

The Artist Formerly Known as Lil’ Bow Wow, who partied with Brown and Akon last night at LIV nightclub at the Fontainbleau in Miami, posted a message to his Twitter page just past midnight that read, “Face numb im whippin the lambo. Tispy as f*k. Just left @livmiami.”

A few minutes later, Mr. Wow wrote, “Im f**ked up!!! Ohhhh damn. Y i drive the lambo. Chris might have to drive after next spot.”

BTW, the tweet isn’t enough for cops to make an arrest.

UPDATE — Bow Wow has since taken down the aforementioned tweets and apologized, saying, “Apologize for that tweet. it was stupid and immature. not a way i want to kick my #2010 year off. i got too much good stuff lined up. my bad.”

[From TMZ]

I hope this kid learned his lesson. Not only was he driving drunk he was probably texting at the same time! I’ve heard of terrible accidents when completely sober people were trying to text behind the wheel. Why didn’t Bow Wow let Brown drive in the first place? Brown is not supposed to drink as a term of his probation, although I don’t think he has an alcohol monitoring anklet as alcohol abuse wasn’t his main problem. Maybe Bow Wow was afraid that Brown might haul off and pound him when he was sitting in the passenger’s seat. What a fool.

This photo is from 2006 but I couldn’t pass it up:

Crotch grabbing is at 18 seconds in

Akon has tossed a fan into the crowd and once dry humped a 14 year-old girl on stage, causing sponsors to pull out of his concert tour. It’s refreshing to see the 35 year-old Senegalese rapper get a little taste of the harassment he regularly dishes out to his fans. Akon jumped into the crowd at the Jimmy Kimmel live show last night and one guy reached up and squeezed his package repeatedly. Akon just kept on singing and reached down to push the hand away.

Earlier this year the Smoking Gun revealed that Akon has fabricated much of his criminal past. Akon has albums titled “Trouble,” “Konvicted,” and “Acquitted” and claims to have spent over three years in jail. He’s only done a few months in county jail for weapons possession. The Smoking Gun also has multiple examples of Akon lying about his past in interviews, including bragging about his involvement in police chases and supposedly running a car stealing ring, none of which can be verified by his record.

[Video via Towelroad.]

Senagalese rapper Akon may sexually abuse underage fans on stage and toss kids into the crowd, but he’s not the hardened criminal he and his publicity team would like you to believe. The Smoking Gun uncovered that Akon has only served a few months in county jail on gun possession. That’s vastly different from the three years he claims to have spent in jail for running a car theft ring and chop shop.

Many of Akon’s songs cover his fabricated criminal past and prison time, and his whole music persona centers on his tough thug life. His three albums are called “Trouble,” “Konvicted,” and “Acquitted.” His first big hit, “Locked Up” off his 2004 album “Trouble” features the lyrics “Visitation no longer comes by, Seems like they forgot about me, Commissary is gettin empty, Cellmates gettin food without me.” Must’ve been awful those whole few months in NJ county prison.

Akon’s ad nauseum claims about his criminal career and resulting prison time have been, to an overwhelming extent, exaggerated, embellished, or wholly fabricated, an investigation by The Smoking Gun has revealed. Police, court, and corrections records reveal that the entertainer has created a fictionalized backstory that serves as the narrative anchor for his recorded tales of isolation, violence, woe, and regret. Akon has overdubbed his biography with the kind of grit and menace that he apparently believes music consumers desire from their hip-hop stars.

While the performer’s rap sheet does include a half-dozen arrests, Akon has only been convicted of one felony, for gun possession. That 1998 New Jersey case ended with a guilty plea, for which the singer was sentenced to three years probation. Another 1998 bust, this one in suburban Atlanta, has been seized upon by Akon and transformed into the big case that purportedly sent him to prison (thanks to his snitching cohorts) for three fight-filled years. In reality, Akon was arrested for possession of a single stolen BMW and held in the DeKalb County jail for several months before prosecutors dropped all charges against him.

So there was no conviction. There was no prison term between 1999 and 2002. And he was never “facing 75 years,” as the singer claimed in one videotaped interview.

Akon’s invented tales appear to be part of a cynical marketing plan, but one that has met with remarkable success. Few press interviews conclude without Akon being asked about his criminal exploits and his prison days. He obliges with canned and well-rehearsed claims, false as they may be, and compares his supposed nationwide operation to those depicted in the movies “Gone in 60 Seconds” and “New Jersey Drive.” And in interview after interview over the years, he always makes sure to point out the “notorious” nature of his theft ring (as if the adjective’s inclusion makes him sound even more felonious). Akon repeats the phrase “notorious car theft operation” so frequently it seems like he is reading it from a sheet of talking points.

[From The Smoking Gun]

The Smoking Gun has also compiled multiple examples of Akon lying about his past in interviews, including talking about police chases and his car stealing ring. He said “I literally owned 4 chop shops… jail was a blessing to me… I was in there for three years, and everybody I.. hung out with they’re literally dead or they’re doing time where they’re going to be 50, 60 before they get out. I got two friends on death row.”

Yeah, right Akon. You were a petty criminal who got rich inventing your past, and you just look like a punk now that it’s come out that you were lying the whole time. Unfortunately your music label is probably not going to have to issue refunds to all the fans you duped for years. James Frey got owned by the Smoking Gun, and now they’re doing the same to you.

Cops are looking for a guy tossed by rapper Akon into the crowd at a Fishkill, NY concert over the weekend. In a widely circulated clip, of which there are at least two different versions recorded by people at the show, shown below, Akon asks for an audience member, presumably a guy who threw something at him, to be brought up on stage with him. Akon then takes off his wife beater and jewelry as if he’s gearing up for a fight while the crow cheers. People put the kid up on the stage as Akon asked, and he chucks him unexpectedly back into the crowd on the other side.

Akon is heard yelling something about how nobody shuts him down, and says “Now, getting back to what I was saying.” He tries to assure the shocked crowd with “he’s all right.”

Without getting a statement from the victim, cops can’t press charges against Akon. They say they are looking for him so that they figure out if Akon’s toss was a crime.

Detective Lt. John Berlingieri of the Fishkill Police said officers were looking for the young man at the Sunday concert who was plucked from the audience by a security guard, directed to the sage, then thrown back to the crowd, the Poughkeepsie Journal reports.

“We’re trying to identify that kid, just to find out whether or not we have any kind of criminal offense,” Berlingieri told the paper. “We are looking to speak to him. No victim. No crime.”

[From People.com]

This is not the first time Akon was busted behaving badly while in concert. He was videotaped dry humping a 14 year-old preacher’s daughter at an April concert in Trinidad. He lured several women on stage with him with the false promise of winning a trip to Africa and then assaulted the teen. Akon later apologized for the incident after sponsor Verizon pulled out of his tour with Gwen Stefani.

Here are the two clips of Akon’s tossing incident:

Everyone was shocked to see rapper Akon dry-humping a hapless 14 year-old girl (some reports list her age as 15, not that it’s any more excusable) at a concert in Trinidad in mid April. The video quickly hit the net, and Akon is shown aggressively simulating sex with the girl on stage, who was let into the concert underage and was led to believe she won a dance contest for a free trip to Africa. It turns out the prize was public humiliation.

The girl is the daughter of a minister, and she says she’s sorry that she went to the concert and that she was hurt by the rapper:

I got carried away, I started to dance as well, but I never thought it was going to be like that,” Danah Alleyne told the Trinidad Express. “I was shocked. My head was hitting the floor.

Akon’s corporate sponsors Verizon, who are sponsoring the tour he opens with Gwen Stefani, have severed all ties with the show and refuse to be associated with such controversy.

They have also pulled ads for Akon off their mobile phone service.

Representatives for Verizon would not explain why they stopped sponsoring the Stefani/Akon tour, but it’s not that much of a stretch to assume it’s because of Akon’s simulated rape.

Akon is a Senagalese American, and his father back in the west African nation of Senegal has four wives, all of which he considered his mother. He said in an interview with a radio station that he also has multiple women in his Atlanta household, but he took that back in an interview with Vibe magazine, and said that he just has several girlfriends and they don’t all live with him. Akon has spent a total of five years in jail on various convictions, and was once a drug dealer.

According to Wikipedia, Akon owns a diamond mine in South Africa. When asked about conflict diamonds, he said “I don’t even believe in conflict diamonds. That’s just a movie. Think about it. Ain’t nobody thought about nothing about no conflict diamonds until the movie came out.”

Maybe if this happened in the states this guy would be slapped with a huge civil and criminal lawsuit and would have to pay millions to that girl’s family as well as attend sexual harrassment education classes and therapy. As it is, he’s living large and has so far just lost a sponsorship for such a despicable act. Hopefully his entire career will be affected.

Here’s the video of Akon violating that girl:

Akon completely lost his rag in a concert he gave in Trinidad last Thursday night. He dry humped a fourteen year old girl on stage like a rabbit on crack, as well as conned ladies into dancing like video ho’s onstage for a pretend trip to Africa.

Coming from the man who sings Smack That, I am not surprised:

From the Trinidad Express:

International superstar Akon lived up to his name as he conned seven ladies into dancing onstage during his performance on Thursday night at the Zen nightclub in Port of Spain.

The star from Senegal managed to convince the ladies, who made their way onstage, that they were taking part in a global contest and that they could earn a fabulous grand prize trip to Africa if they won.

The competition was then filmed by Akon’s crew and later revealed to be a mere sham for the entertainment of the audience present, and an even greater potential global audience, as he promised to upload the footage onto the popular Internet video website www.youtube.com.

Later on, Akon would have his way with the petite young lady (who won the contest): turning, twisting and even flipping her body, while mimicking sexual positions and acts all over the stage for three consecutive rounds.

His DJ, Virgin Islands native Benny D, even joined in during the second round and together they sandwiched the young lady on the floor of the stage. In the end, Akon declared himself the winner, even though the crowd adjudged that his female volunteer had won the contest.

This clip is completely messed up– I can’t think of any other words that come to mind. And what’s the poor girl to do–there isn’t any penetration so it isn’t exactly sex, but aren’t there any laws out there against dry humping a minor in a bad rapper threesome or anything?

It is absolutely shocking that a teenager can go out dressed like a five dollar hooker, be let in a club (where they probably served alcohol) and star in an amateur porno for Akon’s amusement and publicity purposes. That shit wasn’t sexy or right–it was completely degrading.

Akon is allowed to sing whatever crap songs he wants and teenagers are still going to buy it, unfortunately. There are a lot of impressionable girls out there who aspire to writhe next to Akon in his videos, instead of getting a proper job where you don’t have to wear clear heels to feel your best. It’s sad–I know teenagers nowadays learn about sex quite early on, but they don’t need any further encouragement from idiots like these.

Picture Note by Celebitchy: Header image is from Vibe.com, where Akon says his comment about having multiple wives like his dad back in Senegal was blown out of proportion.