Lindsay Lohan is once again partying all night and shopping every day, which seemed inevitable once she got out of rehab, and she’s using the same old tired methods to conceal and cope with her addictions. She’s been seen out more than once toting her own personal water bottle. And someone claims they saw as assistant fill her bottle with vodka, just like she used to do before she went to rehab three times:

Lindsay raised more than a few eyebrows when she arrived at new Hollywood club Goa carrying a suspicious water bottle on December 8. “Lindsay didn’t order anything to drink but kept sipping from her bottle,” an eyewitness at the club reveals…

Another eyewitness saw the star in November at Stereo in NYC, where an assistant filled a water bottle with Grey Goose vodka.

[From In Touch, print edition, December 24, 2007]

Last week there was a story that Lohan got wasted at a party near her hometown in Long Island with her then-boyfriend, Riley Giles. The guy was said to have cheated on her by screwing another party-goer that night out in the woods, but it sounds like she was drunk by then anyway. She refused multiple offers of rides and ended up having Riley, who was also in no state to drive, take her home.

And Star Magazine has a story this week that Lohan is looking for a wealthy guy to support her trashy couture lifestyle, which could explain her brief hookup with Stavros that was quickly thwarted by jealous Paris. We reported back in September that she was begging even casual acquaintances for $10,000, and now she hopes to get a more permanent source of cash since her failing career isn’t allowing her to buy the meaningless accoutrements of extreme wealth that she’s accustomed to:

“She’s dying for some rich guy to take care of her!” [a] friend reveals to Star.

She thought she’d found one in superwealthy shipping heir Stavros Niarchos, who wined and diner her all over LA in late November. But he shocked her earlier this month by jetting off to Miami and meeting up with old love Paris Hilton.

“Lindsay says Stav’s money makes him hot,” says the pal. “She loves to talk about how he’s ‘richer than God.’”

But Stavros, 22, isn’t the only guy Lindsay’s hitting up for money. She asked ex Calum Best, the 26-year-old British millionaire playboy, for money. And she even called rapper 50 Cent, who’s helping with her upcoming album, and requested $20,000 in early December.

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 24, 2007]

Thankfully Star reports that 50 Cent refused to give Lindsay any cash. She’s said to be hard up for money since she only received a paltry $800,000 for the film Dare to Love Me. That sounds like a lot of money but it’s not enough to keep up with her lavish spending.

On Friday Lohan called into a Las Vegas radio station that was holding a contest for Hannah Montana tickets for anyone who could get a celebrity to phone in. She told the DJs that she’s “growing up” and that her “life is different now” and that she’s a “different person.” She supposedly wanted the Hannah Montana tickets for a friend’s nieces, but since she’s so hard up for cash I wouldn’t put it past her to scalp them. You could get an astronomically priced giant purse for that money that will be in style until at least the end of next season.

Lohan is shown out shopping on Saturday, thanks to WENN and Splash News. She is looking really beat lately.

David Hasselhoff is really struggling with his sobriety. The 55-year-old actor has been reported to drink as much as a gallon of vodka a night, and is suffering from extreme, severe alcohol poisoning as a result. Hasselhoff is currently back in rehab for the fourth time in two months. According to the Enquirer, his alcoholism is tearing his two teenager daughters apart. Hasselhoff has full custody of the two girls since he divorced their mother, Pamela Bach, last year. One would logically wonder how someone with such an extreme addiction could have full custody of his kids – but apparently he’s the lesser of two evils, from most reports. Hasselhoff went on an extreme drinking binge earlier this month – the sort that could kill most people.

[Hasselhoff] was rushed to Los Angeles’ Cedars Sinai Medical Center on Dec. 3 - and again on Dec. 5, the Enquirer has learned exclusively. Even more heartrending, David’s daughters Taylor and Hayley were heading to the hospital to see him “when they got a call that he wouldn’t see anyone,” an insider told the Enquirer. The girls are “devastated - absolutely heartbroken,” added an insider. Pals say the troubled entertainer often guzzles a gallon of vodka a night - and he was “extremely intoxicated” when he checked himself into the hospital Dec. 3. “David was a total mess,” a source revealed. “He’d urinated on himself, and his pants were soaking wet. He was drooling and slurring so badly you couldn’t understand a world he said. He seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness. Friends were afraid he was going to die right there!”

[From the National Enquirer, Dec. 24 2007 print edition]

It sounds like Hasselhoff’s friends and family have a really good reason to worry – according to doctors at the hospital, his blood alcohol level was 0.5. Keep in mind the legal limit to drive is 0.08. I was once admitted to the hospital for an allergy attack and put in the same room with a man who had a .6 BAC. At that time I didn’t even know that was possible… at least without dying. Though the man was in and out of consciousness (at one point he rose to yell at me “Abracadabra, I’m going to grab ya! Which eventually morphed into “I’m going to stab ya!”) he was still up and quasi-conscious at times. When I asked the cop who was guarding him about it, he said he’d seen a 0.8 once, and that if a person is a severe alcoholic for long enough, their body can develop a tolerance to a level of alcohol that would kill someone else. For a multitude of reasons, one would logically assume that David Hasselhoff has had a pretty severe drinking problem for a long time. Frankly, it’s amazing that his career hasn’t suffered more as a result. In fact, a TV movie version of Hasselhoff’s show “Knight Rider” is currently being planned, and David is scheduled to make a cameo appearance. I have no idea why, but I’m really rooting for him to pull through this.

Picture note by Jaybird: Header of the Hoff at the red carpet arrivals for the day 2 celebration of the Grand Opening of the Planet Hollywood Resort in Las Vegas on November 18th. Image thanks to Splash Photos.

There are a lot of significant differences between British and American English. A few are funny and lead to amusing/embarrassing anecdotes about when you accidentally told someone to light a gay person on fire and stick them in your mouth, or someone asked you where the lift was and you offered to pick them up. Things like that. Then there are the rare words that you don’t even realize mean two completely different things, because it doesn’t come up a lot. Along the lines of fag = cigarette, lift = elevator, it turns out that style = emaciated crack whore. Victoria Beckham has said that she loves Amy Winehouse’s “sense of style.” Clearly something was lost in translation.

International fashion icon Victoria Beckham, 33 loves struggling Soul singer Amy Winehouse, 24, and her ‘unique’ sense of style. Posh says: “She has a real sense of style that I just love. She’s very much a fashion icon and I adore what she wears. She’s so unique and original.”

Victoria also admits she and husband David are both fans of the ‘Rehab’ singer’s music. Posh adds: “I’ve never met her but I just love her music, I’ve always got it on at home with David and the children. She’s an amazing singer.”

[From Wicked Youth]

Posh and Amy actually have very similar body shapes. Posh got hers through her legendary sushi and oxygen diet, whereas Amy’s came about from the slightly tougher meth, beer, and blood diet. Both require strict adherence to some pretty unhealthy rules, but if you really stick with it, you can whittle your 5’3 body down to 81 pounds. And it seems like that’s the only real requirement in the Victoria Beckham style school. Amy Winehouse is just one pair of rigidly round implants away from marrying David Beckham. If I were Posh, I wouldn’t admire Amy, I’d be wary of the competition.

I don’t know if it’s a fluke or just my warped perception, but it seems like there’s an extra amount of Hollywood drunken-while-drivingness lately. Ray Liotta was arrested in February after he drunkenly hit not one, but two parked cars. That takes talent. It takes a certain level of skill just to hit one parked car. What with it just sitting there, taunting you. But then to go after another… that guy must have been really hammered. Though if you ask him, he just had an unfortunate interaction between two medications. I’m guessing it was more like two medications and the twelve beers he washed them down with, but whatever. Technicalities I suppose.

Ray’s been given a pretty lenient sentence, compared with a few of our jail-serving celebrity friends.

Actor Ray Liotta has pleaded no contest to a reckless driving charge after police say he drove into two parked cars. Liotta initially was charged with misdemeanor driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol. He could have faced up to six months in jail if convicted of that charge, Mateljan said.

“Ray had some unexpected drowsiness from the interaction of some medications prescribed by his doctor,” said his attorney, Blair Berk. Under the terms of his plea, Liotta was placed on three years’ probation and ordered to enter a 12-hour alcohol education program, according to court documents.

Liotta was arrested in February following the non-injury crash in the Pacific Palisades section of Los Angeles. He will have to pay $1,328 in restitution and fines and pay the owners of the damaged vehicles, the court papers said.

[From Yahoo! News]

I have to tell you, while I understand extreme sleepiness, if it were that bad, I’d pull over. If you’re so tired that you’re swerving into parked cars, I imagine the only thing on your mind would be finding a parking space. Hitting one car, and then going on to hit another, probably won’t get you home into bed any faster. I’m continually amazed at how many celebrities drink and drive. If broke college students can manage to get it together and call a cab, I think you can too. Seriously, when you can now legitimately be compared to Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Lindsay Lohan, wouldn’t it have been better to just pull over and take a nap in the gutter?

Picture note by Jaybird: Header image of Ray and his daughter at the “Bee Movie” premiere on October 28th. thanks to PR Photos.

I really relish the Amy Winehouse stories. You always need that person who is so messed up that you look like a saint in comparison. I could be having the worst day of my life, but I can still say, “Hey, at least I didn’t snort some blow and then walk around through the streets of London in the snow with no pants and a thong on my forehead like Amy Winehouse.” Okay technically Winehouse hasn’t done that yet, but that’s probably only because it hasn’t snowed yet in London this year. Give it a few more months, and I guarantee you it’ll happen. Though it’ll probably also somehow involve her bloody ballet slippers.

On Wednesday, Amy got dressed up all purdy to visit her husband in jail. And by dressed up, I mean some kind of pink halter top, that now-infamous red push-up bra she was wandering around wearing on the street a few days ago, and a surprisingly well-coiffed beehive. Home only half an hour later, she was crying, looking disheveled, and had lost her keys. Despite the throng of paparazzi outside her home, Amy thought it smart to lay on her back on the wet street (still in the aforementioned halter top) and slide under the gate. Because what celebrity doesn’t do that now and again?

Lying on her back on a wet pavement and in a flood of tears troubled Amy Winehouse has certainly lost something. But on this occasion, however, the only thing the fallen star noticed was missing was the keys to her house. Amy, 24, today returned to the property she shared with locked-up husband Blake Fielder-Civil after moving out on Monday claiming it held “too many memories”.

After a 30-minute visit to the jailbird in London’s Pentonville Prison earlier this afternoon the crying jazz singer realised she had no way of getting in. However, never one to eschew drama, Amy decided the best way of getting inside would be to crawl under the courtyard gates. So, with the waiting crowd of paparazzi who have become a daily feature of her life, she lay down on the wet pavement and wriggled through.

The extraordinary gate scenes are the latest example of the star’s increasingly erratic behaviour recently. At 4.15am this morning she was pictured making a dash to a 24 hour store in Bow to pick up a giant box of ice pops.

[From the Daily Mail]

At what point does someone get declared legally insane in England? Because I’m pretty sure that – whatever that point is – Amy is well beyond it. I think she may be crazier than Britney Spears. She’s just not endangering the lives of innocent little children, thank God. Amy is so off her rocker that I can’t really tell if she’s trying to get attention, or is just so out of it that she doesn’t notice – or care – that the paparazzi is photographing her wandering around without shoes at two in the morning… which happened not once but several times last week. I hate to say it, but I’m starting to agree with what a lot of our commenters are saying… if she keeps this up, she’s not going to be around for much longer.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Amy right before she slid under her gate. You can see photos of her actually sliding under on the Daily Mail’s website. Images thanks to Splash Photos.

Today seems to be the day for drunken celebrities. Okay that’s not fair. Everyday is the day for drunken celebrities. But today seems to be the day for drunken celebrities with DUIs who are sentenced to alcohol education programs. That narrows the field down by at least 20 percent. Multiple DUI and drug user/possessor Nicole Richie was temporarily excused from her court-ordered anti-drinking program since she’s eight months pregnant. She was given a standard medical leave. Something tells me it wasn’t good for the baby to hear the words “drunk off my ass” “high off my ass” and “I was so wasted I fell on my ass” over and over again at such a critical stage of development. I have an image of Nicole’s baby in the womb holding a bottle of Heineken instead of milk. Wait do babies drink milk in the womb? They must, otherwise they’d starve, and it’s way cuter to pretend they do. Not so cute to pretend it’s drinking a brewski, but let’s be honest, kids emulate what they hear. So it was probably best Nicole go home and relax until she can leave the kid with a sitter.

Mom-to-be Nicole Richie has been granted a leave of absence from her court-mandated anti-drinking program, her rep confirms to People. The program suggested the Simple Life star take a leave because they were worried for her safety, according to her rep. “They offer that option to anyone with a medical condition of any kind,” the rep says. “She is not receiving special treatment.”

Richie, 26, who is eight months pregnant, must complete the 18-month program as part of her plea deal in her second DUI conviction. She was sentenced in July to four days in jail, fined $2,048, and required to sign up for the program. (In August, Richie served just 82 minutes at the Lynwood Jail, where pal Paris Hilton did her time.)

The alcohol-education course consists of 52 hours of group counseling, bi-weekly face-to-face interviews and 12 hours of alcohol education. Participants are also encouraged to attend 12-step meetings.

[From People]

Do you remember when your mom or dad would drag you on “adult” errands when you were a kid? You’d sit there, bored off your ass with a bunch of Cheerios to play with. And even as a kid, you knew that was kinda lame. I mean at least give me Fruit Loops, something with a little variety and color. Stimulate my developing cerebral cortex here. Now can you imagine instead of the local craft supply store, you’re sitting in on your mom’s bi-weekly face-to-face alcohol interview? Awesome. Hey if nothing else, it’s probably interesting enough that you don’t care about your damn Cheerios anymore.

Picture note by Celebitchy: Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are shown at the launch of The Richie-Madden Children’s Foundation at Los Angeles Free Clinic on 12/3/07, thanks to WENN.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers was arrested yesterday afternoon at Dublin Airport after a drunkenly yelling at a female worker. She told him he couldn’t get on the flight as he was clearly too inebriated, which angered him and resulted in his shouting, “I will get on this flight no matter what” over and over again. Rhys Meyers has been to rehab twice in the last few years – this last time in April – which he left after only two weeks. Rehab is boring after all, I’m sure it’s fine to leave because you want your freedom and to be able to go out and have lunch with your friends. How could sobriety possibly compare to that?

Match Point actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers has been arrested after an alleged drunken row with airline staff. The Irish actor reportedly launched an angry tirade of abuse at one female worker when she told him he was “unfit to travel” at Ireland’s Dublin Airport at around 2.30pm on Sunday.

The 30-year-old star - who was trying to board a British Midland flight to London after appearing on Irish TV show Tubridy Tonight on Saturday - repeatedly told staff: “I will get on this flight no matter what.” One source said: “After being told he couldn’t fly he flew into a temper and started screaming at this woman. She seemed to be very upset by the whole ordeal.” Police arrested the star at the airport and took him to the nearby Whitehall Garda station where he was charged under the Public Order Act with being drunk and disorderly and a breach of the peace.

Speaking outside the station after being released on bail, a disheveled Rhys Meyers said: “I said the wrong thing to the wrong woman at the wrong time.”

[From News.com.au]

It occurs to me that the problem isn’t that he said those things to the wrong woman, the problem is that he said the wrong things at all. It’s not like there’s a right person Rhys Meyers could have screamed at. He’s one of those actors who’s very face has always annoyed me. He just has this “I think I’m the greatest thing ever” air about him, and it makes me want to smack the cockiness right off his face.

Rhys Meyers is on the cover of this month’s Details. There’s a very bizarre interview with him in which he mentions his alcoholism (and how he never touches the stuff anymore) along with screaming out “PUSSY! I want pussy!” through the streets of Dublin for no apparent reason, and then burning the fake hair off his jacket sleeves with a lighter in a café during the interview. His reasoning being that it’s something to do. Alright, totally normal.

Rhys Meyers himself no longer goes to those sorts of mobbed, cacophonous venues. A notorious partier, he’s recently sworn off alcohol. “I didn’t drink until I was 25, and I never drank every day, but when I did, it was bad. It would be a couple of days that just wouldn’t work out for me, waking up with a hangover. Drink doesn’t fit into the groove of where my life is going.”

Rhys Meyers, now 30, has been in rehab twice. “I want to do really good things with my life,” he says. “And drinking is not synonymous with that. The [Richard] Burton days, the [Peter] O’Toole days, they are gone.”

[From Details]

I guess not so much. Sometimes you can just tell when people are “functional” alcoholics who will probably remain that way for life because they don’t suffer any severe consequences for it (though everyone around them often does). Rhys Meyers strikes me as one of those guys.

More details have come out in the Shia LaBeouf drunken arrest at Walgreen’s incident, and it does sound just like the drug store stand down that we assumed it was. He was asked to leave the store, he didn’t, and he got arrested. There’s no mention of screaming, shoving, or tantrum-throwing, and it seems like the guy wanted to go about his business and pick up some items and the security didn’t like the way he was weaving down the aisles and told him to get out. Shia stood his ground and got some publicity out of the deal.

If you’re going to be arrested for drunken conduct, this is the way to do it. Shia wasn’t driving, he wasn’t knocking shit over, he didn’t beat anyone up, and it doesn’t even sound like he was all that rude. I like to spend my time browsing in the drug store too, so I can’t fault the guy for asserting his right to shop at 2:30 in the morning after a few drinks. Considering all the other drunken antics he could be up to, Shia is still aces in my book.

All this article says is that he was out drinking, he went to the drug store, refused to leave, then got arrested. If there was more to it than that we would be hearing about it:

LaBeouf, a rising star who is in Chicago to film a movie, was at the Underground nightclub, 56 W. Illinois St., on Saturday night and left about 2 a.m. Sunday, said Maura Daley, a club spokeswoman.

She declined further comment, but added: “His unrelated incident is very unfortunate, and we wish Mr. LaBeouf all the best…”

The 21-year-old actor who starred in “Disturbia” and “Transformers” and is the star of the upcoming Indiana Jones sequel, was arrested about 2:25 a.m. in the Walgreens at 757 N. Michigan Ave., police said.

A security guard called police after LaBeouf refused to leave the 24-hour store, said Monique Bond, Chicago police spokeswoman. He was asked to leave several times, she said. The guard signed a complaint, and the actor was cited on a misdemeanor count of trespassing, police said.

“The report does not indicate that he was with a group. [It] appears that he was alone,” Bond said. “[There is] no indication of damaging property or interfering with other customers.”

LaBeouf, a California resident, was taken to the Near North police district and posted bail about 7 a.m., police said. His next court date is Nov. 28.

[From The Chicago Tribune via ONTD]

Maybe there was shoving or screaming, but even though this is a respected paper, I have to think they would have thrown that in there if it happened. The way this scenario plays out in my head is that Shia needs some contraceptives because he’s about to get lucky and is thwarted by an over-eager security guard. He says “no, I’m not going to leave” and stays in the store, being repeatedly harassed. The poor guy gets arrested and forfeits his evening hookup, but at least we all hear about it and he starts to achieve the level of fame that he deserves.

Isn’t that the cutest mug shot you’ve ever seen? Good job, Shia, now don’t go doing it again.

If all I heard was that a celebrity was arrested for being drunk at a drug store, my money would have been on Britney at CVS. In my imagination she’s not combative despite her umbrella-wielding history, and is apprehended for opening up makeup and trying it on, discarding packages as she stumbles down the aisle.

Transformers star Shia LaBeouf was arrested at a Walgreens in Chicago over the weekend after security asked him to leave and he refused. It was 2:30 in the morning when the cops came, so maybe he’d just had a marathon drinking session and really wanted one of those little packages of ice cream they sell there. I love those, because they get you into a lot less trouble than a full pint of Ben and Jerry’s.

It doesn’t sound like LaBeouf was disruptive so much as stubborn and holding his ground. He was said to be cooperative with police and to have posted bail a few hours later, at 7 a.m.:

Chicago police say actor Shia LaBeouf was arrested at the Walgreens at 757 N. Michigan Av. around 2:30 a.m. Sunday after repeatedly refusing to leave the store.

A security guard repeatedly told LaBeouf that he wasn’t welcome and had to leave because he appeared to be drunk, police said.

When the actor refused to leave, the security guard detained him and called police.

After he was arrested, LaBeouf was “very courteous and polite,” and he posted bond before 7 a.m., police said.

LaBeouf, 21, of Glendale, Calif., was charged with misdemeanor criminal trespassing. He is scheduled to appear in court in Branch 29 on Nov. 28 at 9 a.m.

[From CBS2Chicago via WeSmirch]

There was an article in last week’s Star Magazine titled “Does Shia LaBeouf feel like a LOSER?” in a big all-caps font like that. They said he was upset because he never gets recognized, and that he was pissed because he was initially denied entry to the T-Mobile Sidekick LX launch party in L.A:

The 21-year-old Transformers star was denied entry because even the doormen didn’t know who he was! When the party promoters realized their mistake, they ran after Shia, and convinced him to come back - but he wasn’t happy. “Shia came back, but not before he ripped off his wristband and chucked it at one of the promoters,” says an eyewitness. “He threw a bit of a fit - it definitely bothered him.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, November 5, 2007]

Poor Shia. He will probably get recognized a lot more after this profile-raising drunken stand down. He is also set to star in the new Indiana Jones movie, which is due for release in the US on May 22, 2008.

Shia is shown at the premiere of Hot Rod Movie on 7/26/07 and at the Transformers premiere on 6/27/07. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Lindsay Lohan’s new minders must be a hell of a lot less sycophantic than the last bunch. Apparently they’ve gone around to a bunch of her old haunts and told the servers not to give her alcohol – no matter how much Lohan asks. One would hope that if she were really serious about her sobriety, she wouldn’t be hanging out at those types of places in the first place. But that’s the conundrum that is Lindsay Lohan. Why be totally safe and sober when you can just act like you are?

Lindsay Lohan’s aides are going out of their way to make sure the actress/singer stays sober after spending much of the summer in rehab, they’ve told staff at all her old hangouts not to let her drink alcohol. The Mean Girls star found this out for herself when she tried to order vodka at Los Angeles’ Viceroy hotel on October 19.

A staff member at the hotel reveals Lohan spent an hour sipping water, but felt the need for something stronger as her friends started to get tipsy. A source tells Life & Style magazine, “She was fine at first, but it was obviously too soon for her to be around people who were drinking, because she later asked the server for a vodka. “But her people had called ahead and servers were told not to give in no matter how often Lindsay asked for alcohol.”

Despite denials about the incident from Lohan’s publicist, a guest at the Viceroy, who overheard the exchange between the actress and a waitress, tells the publication, “I heard the waitress say that she was sorry but she wasn’t allowed to serve her. Lindsay walked out soon after, looking embarrassed.”

[From ABC affiliate WWTI]

I’m genuinely surprised Lohan would try to order a drink. I’m not being sarcastic this time: everyone on the planet knows she’s been in rehab a billion times (or three, which is about the same thing). She would have to know that ordering a drink in public right now is tantamount to calling the National Enquirer herself. And though I know she’s pretty stupid, she’s dumber than I thought to put herself in a position of such temptation. Clearly she’s not serious about her sobriety. Not that I thought she was, but I assumed she’d at least try to keep up the façade for a bit longer. Should we start a Celebitchy betting pool for dates when Lindsay will be seen publicly intoxicated and/or committing some type of illegal act while under the influence? I’m betting $25 on the day after Thanksgiving.

Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Lindsay Lohan returning to her favorite pizza restaurant on the second day in a row today. Lindsay was also wearing a necklace of handcuffs with the key. Images thanks to Splash Photos.