For a long time Dina Lohan engaged in that time-honored Lohan parent tradition – you know the one, where they make a bunch of excuses for their kid while also blaming the media and personally attacking anyone who had the audacity to point out that there was something imperfect about the kid. This time Dina was doing it about Lindsay’s recent massive weight loss, saying she just needed to eat more McDonalds. Always the healthy solution for diet issues.

Well Dina is finally a little worried – and so is Lindsay’s younger sister Ali. Apparently they’re begging her to move home to Long Island so they can keep an eye on her and make sure she’s eating, in an attempt to get her to gain weight and improve her health.

Lindsay Lohan’s family has begged her to put on weight. The ‘Mean Girls’ actress’ mother Dina and 15-year-old sister Ali want the thin star to return to the family home in Long Island, New York, so they can make sure she is eating.

A source said: “That way Dina and Ali can look after her and stop her skipping meals. It would be the best thing for her. We know it’s stress behind the weight loss.”

But the 22-year-old star – who has reportedly lost nearly 14lbs from her already-slender frame in the past two months – has reportedly refused to leave Los Angeles without her girlfriend, DJ Samantha Ronson. The source said: “She won’t be away from Sam. She’s too insecure.”

Lindsay hasn’t even been tempted by junk food bought for her by her worried sister. The source explained: “For a while, Ali was buying her pizza, fries, chips and all her favorites. But she just sits there, taking a few bites, then picking at the rest. She really isn’t fooling anyone.”

Lindsay’s father Michael Lohan also recently revealed he is worried about his daughter’s weight. He said: “Lindsay goes through her fluctuations in weight for different roles. I’ll talk to her about it – I’ll see what’s going on.” Michael expressed his concerns on social networking website Twitter. In the first of a series of posts seemingly aimed at Lindsay, he wrote: “Eat. please.”

[From Celebedge]

Well If Michael Lohan says he’ll talk to her about it, I’m sure it’ll all be fine. Wait… no. But that’s a great way to make sure Lindsay continues not to eat, in an attempt to piss him off. Hell I hate Michael Lohan so much that I can guarantee you I’d do the opposite of anything he ever asked of me, no matter how detrimental or ridiculous. And what the hell – instead of talking to her, he Twitters? Yeah, I’m sure that’ll really open her up. Moron.

A lot of people believe it’s a lot more than stress that’s causing Lindsay to lose weight. Her past substance abuse issues make most of us think she’s on drugs again. Rarely do I consider Dina Lohan a positive presence, but in this case moving home might be a good idea. If nothing else, Lindsay’s family might finally notice it’s more than stress, and maybe get her some help. I’m sure some of Dina’s “home cooking” will get Lindsay back to her fighting weight in no time. Or whatever it is she does to comfort her kids.

Here’s Lindsay and Samantha shopping for stockings at Wolford in London on Friday. Header of Lohan and her typical meal in London on Saturday. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.

No one in the Lohan family is known for their brains. Or their academic commitment. What they are known for is their incessant attention whoring. So it should come as no surprise that young Ali Lohan has decided she prefers hanging out with older sister Lindsay in L.A. to going to classes at her school in Long Island. According to her friends, Ali has skipped so much school that her teachers are wondering if she’s ever coming back.

If Ali Lohan has her way, school would be out – forever! While she’s been spotted parading around L.A. with her famous big sis, a friend tells Start that Our Lady of Mercy Academy in Syosset, N.Y., has been wondering if she plans to walk their halls. But the 15-year-old, who recently enrolled in the private all-girls institution, loves the lure of fame out west so much, she wants to play hooky indefinitely! Unfortunately, the law may have something to say – she’s required to attend classes full-time until she turns 16.

[From Star, February 2, 2009, print ed.]

Yes, Ali can’t drop out until she’s 16, but she could get a tutor. There are plenty of kids who don’t attend traditional schools – many of them in California. If she likes it there so much, it seems to make more sense that she and Dina move. Missing a ton of school to hang out with partying Lindsay doesn’t seem like the best solution. Perhaps living in L.A. full-time and going to school full-time would be better. Then Ali could still be corrupted by Lindsay after 3 o’clock every day.

Worst case scenario, Ali should have a tutor traveling with her if she’s absent from school for long periods of time. Obviously hanging out with Lindsay is a terrible reason not to be in class, but she’s Ali’s sister – there’s no way to keep Lohan from morally bankrupting the girl. With that family, it’s just bound to happen. The best you can hope for is to make the young ones follow the rules for as long as possible, just in case they surprise us and end up doing something useful.

Here’s Ali going shopping with Lindsay and their mom Dina on January 23rd. Images thanks to Bauer-Griffin.

Lindsay Lohan’s “younger” sister Ali is 15 years old. Or at least that’s what we’ve been told for the last couple years. The problem is that Ali has a certain kind of bone structure that makes her look much older than she is. And not in a sophisticated way, like Elizabeth Taylor or Brooke Shields did when they were younger. There’s something creepier about the way Ali looks old.

Somehow, photographer Jonathan Ressler decided Ali should be included in his “Extraordinary Women” exhibit. This is confusing on a number of levels. First off, Ali is very much not a woman. Secondly, she has done nothing extraordinary. And that’s not an insult – she’s 15, she hasn’t saved the world yet. I mean she’s a Lohan so I don’t expect she’ll ever do much more than spend too much time in rehab, but it’s not fair to hold Ali accountable for what she’s going to do in the future. And last… actually, just her being a Lohan is a good enough reason why she shouldn’t be included as an “extraordinary woman.”

What in the world were the prerequisites? “Must look 45. Must give vague but unavoidable impression of sadness, desperation, and whiskey. Must be able to give camera empty, vacant, chilly stare.” Obviously Dina Lohan’s prints are all over this crime. I have no idea how, but somehow Dina made a photographer go blind.

Thanks to Dlisted for the story idea.

Here’s Ali traipsing around Times Square on a freezing day yesterday. Images thanks to Splash.

In case all the makeup and tight clothing she wears weren’t enough of a sign that she wants to grow up faster than normal, Ali Lohan, 14, told Life & Style that she can’t wait to start driving. She also has her first car picked out, a BMW truck.

“I’m so excited (about turning 16),” Lohan told Life & Style. “I always ask my mom, ‘Can I drive your car in the parking lot?’ And she’s like, ‘No.’

Lohan has another two years before she’ll be able to get a learner’s permit, but she told the magazine she’s got her first car picked out. “I want a BMW truck!”

She might be planning on chipping in for gas money though — Lohan recently filed paperwork in L.A. County Superior Court for a work permit to allow her to record with Maloof Music producers.

The Maloof family owns the Palms Casino in Las Vegas, which was often the setting for Ali and her mom Dina’s reality show “Living Lohan,” which also happened to be a Maloof production.

[From MSNBC's The Scoop]

Ali turns 15 at the end of this December. Under New York law she can’t get a driver’s permit to start driving under adult supervision until she’s 16 and maybe she’ll have moved out by then anyway. Can you imagine Dina in the passenger seat while Ali was trying to learn how to drive? She’d probably sit there chatting on her cell phone the whole time and only look over at Ali occasionally, saying “you’re doing great, baby.” When Ali got into the inevitable accident, Dina would justify it as normal and expected. “What could I do? She really wanted to drive.”

Ali Lohan and her mom, Dina, are shown at the “8th Annual Animal Fair Magazine ‘Canine Comedy” Halloween Pet Costume Party on 10/27/08. They didn’t bring a pet. Credit: PRPhotos

There are really very few people as easy to make fun of as a Lohan. In fact the only challenging part of it is to figure out which one is easiest to make fun of. They all provide their own wonderful strengths and weaknesses. Not as people or anything, but in terms of providing comedic fodder.

Here’s a great example of how desperate for attention Dina and Ali Lohan really are. Last night Animal Fair Magazine (“The premiere lifestyle magazine and website for animal lovers”) had its 8th annual Halloween pet costume party in Manhattan. The event was $50 a ticket for standing room, $100 for a seat at a table, and $2,500 to reserve a table with bottle service. All the proceeds benefited the Humane Society of New York. The only mandatory attire was pet costumes. In terms of humans, they suggested you show up in anything you’d wear to take your pet for a walk on Halloween.

Charming, right? It wasn’t exactly the most A-list event, but it was for a good cause, led to some good photo ops, and the animals seemed to have a good time. But apparently the Lohans didn’t read the invitation too well, because they showed up dressed as pets. And forgot to bring their pet. And were both conveniently slutty, in their own special way.

Congrats, Dina. Even in a room of animals, you’re still dumber than every living creature there.

Shown below are Piper Perabo and Wendy Diamond, Whitney Thompson, Bethenny Frankel and Jill Zarin, Beth Ostrowsky, Nicole Fiscella, Miss Teen USA Stevi Perry, Jill Zarin, and Wendy Diamond attending Animal Fair Magazine’s Pet Costume Party last night in Manhattan. Photographer: L. Gallo. Images thanks to WENN.

Whenever I try to conjure up an image of the most empty, useless person I can think of, the face that normally comes to mind is a hodgepodge of features distinctly recognizable as belonging to the Lohan family. And in case I had any doubt that each of the Lohans is utterly selfish and terrible, I think I’ve found proof positive that they really are.

Remember a few months ago when Michael Lohan’s father passed away? Michael made a big deal out of Lindsay not coming to see her grandfather and somehow made it sound like Dina was keeping the kids away from the funeral – even though Lindsay and one of her brothers are over 18 and Dina has no say over them. However it turns out young Ali didn’t show up for the funeral either. Why? She needed to get her hair extensions done.

If you recall, about a month or so ago, I posted a little thing in here about how Lindsay Lohan skipped the funeral of her grandfather because she was in an argument with Michael Lohan. I said she should have gone and most of you said she didn’t have to. Hey, at least she had some kind of reason for not attending. I mean in retrospect if she had gone, Michael would have probably just tried to sell the photos of it anyway, so he is probably just pissed he couldn’t go out and acquire any more items from the Right Said Fred line of clothes.

But, one person who was also not there was Ali Lohan. Not caught up in a huge squabble with her dad, one wonders what her excuse was for not showing up. Well according to Fox, the reason Ali didn’t show up at the funeral was because she didn’t have time to get her hair extensions done the day before and didn’t want anyone to see what horrible hair she has.

Ummm. I guess we can congratulate her for telling the truth instead of making up some kind of in bed with the flu story. Can you even comprehend how shallow someone must be that they would not attend the funeral of their grandfather because they didn’t have time to get hair extensions? What the hell has this world come to? How vain can a kid get? I’m sure it was a horrific drama for her, but don’t you think that the parent she currently lives with would have at least acted like a parent and told her to get the f**k to the funeral? Yeah, well the mother of the year obviously didn’t do that because she was probably more concerned with how the look would affect her future commissions. She has to make a living after all, and she only has so many kids.

[From Crazy Days and Nights]

With any other family I’d call bullshit on that story, but it’s the Lohans so it’s probably true. How hard can it be to put your hair in a ponytail? Or if Ali were truly stressed about her hair, then wrap it in a bun so nothing’s hanging down. Granted a bun on a teenager who already looks sixty isn’t the best option, but it is what it is. Definitely better than skipping your grandfather’s funeral. I do appreciate that she didn’t make up some bullshit excuse, but holy cow, that’s low. I’m sure that did a lot to encourage familial peace.

Here’s Ali and her hair extensions along with mom Dina leaving Henri Bendels in NYC last Monday. Images thanks to Fame.

Last week it was reported that well-respected manager Johnny Wright offered to meet with Ali Lohan and possibly become her manager. This would have been a huge coup for Ali and possibly led to an actual career where she could be more than just the lead-in to a joke about Dina Lohan. Dina, however, being Dina, completely blew the entire thing for her. She still wanted to keep Ali’s entire manager fee for herself – which leads one to wonder, exactly how she thought Johnny Wright should be compensated.

The whole thing reeked of ego. And though Ali’s camp confirmed that they took a meeting with Wright, his side is now saying that they’ve never met with the Lohans and he’d never consider managing Ali’s career. The response is really terse and it’s clear he’s pissed as hell about something. I’m guessing Dina’s ego and the resulting wasting of his time.

FAMED music manager Johnny Wright is not only saying, “Thanks, but no thanks” to Dina Lohan – he slams her and her daughter Ali in a statement to Page Six. Lohan sources said Wright – who steered the Jonas Brothers and Justin Timberlake to the top – offered to manage Ali’s career. At the time, Dina told us via a rep she was interested and would take the meeting. But forget that.

A scathing statement from Wright’s company states: “Johnny Wright would like to set the record straight regarding his involvement with Ali Lohan.

“Johnny Wright has never met with Ali Lohan, has never been introduced to Ali Lohan, nor has he had a meeting with Ali or Dina Lohan regarding Ali’s music career. While he wishes Ali Lohan the best in all her endeavors, Mr. Wright has never had any intention of speaking with Ali Lohan regarding her career. Any story that has surfaced about such a meeting holds no merit and is completely false.

“Wright Entertainment Group has never had any interest or intention of adding Ali Lohan as an artist on the company’s roster, which currently includes Justin Timberlake, Jonas Brothers, Janet Jackson and Ciara amongst others.

[From the New York Post]

That last paragraph implies a lot. Both that Dina is a moron for passing on the opportunity to have Ali managed by someone with such a client roster… and it also is implying that Ali isn’t good enough to be a part of Wright management. Which she definitely isn’t at this point, but part of being a good manager is cultivating a career. Dina obviously has some experience because she managed Lindsay, but I would think it takes a special kind of talent and experience to successfully brand a younger sister in a way that is unique and separate from the older one.

Though they deny ever taking a meeting with the Lohans, it’s pretty clear that Wright is pissed and insulted – not that I blame him. But really, the joke is on Dina. She’s so dumb and full of herself that she has no clue that whatever attention she’s getting is because people are laughing at her stupidity, not admiring her business savvy like she’d hoped.

Here are Dina and Ali at the “Georgia Rule” premiere in May 2007. Images thanks to Fame.

Dina and Ali Lohan on 7/2/07 outside Lindsay’s 21st birthday. Credit: TRP/Fame Pictures

Infamous mom-ager Dina Lohan is reported to have blocked daughter Ali’s chance to be managed by star-making manager Johnny Wright.  Wright, who has managed *NSYNC, New Kids on the Block, The Backstreet Boys, The Jonas Brothers, Janet Jackson, Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake among others, offered to manage Ali Lohan in her quest to be a chart topping pop star. 

Dina Lohan was apparently unhappy with the possible arrangement and as a result, Ali refused to join Johnny’s team. “We’ll see if Ali’s mom Dina will be into it. She wants full control and the full manager’s fee for herself,” the source explains in a further statement.

When asked about (the) rumor, a publicist from Lindsay Lohan‘s younger sister gives no answer. Instead of providing a statement referring to the issue, they only said that they indeed met with Johnny’s firm.

[From AceShowbiz]

I don’t even know the right words to describe Dina Lohan, well, I do, but not appropriate ones.  Ali may have had a chance at legitimacy, but Dina isn’t in it for her kids or their aspirations, Dina is in it for Dina.  Ali isn’t completely without talent and Johnny Wright probably could have gotten people to listen to All the Way Around, Ali’s single she recorded on Living Lohan.  It’s not polished, and she is over produced, but so are most teen artists. 

Johnny Wright was a part of the reality music competition, Making the Band, with Diddy, and manages the winners, pop group Danity Kane.  He’s got the touch that makes kids stars, but Ali doesn’t get the chance.  Dina Lohan doesn’t make stars, she makes celebrities, for all the wrong reasons.  And she wants to be the biggest one.

[Information on Johnny Wright from MySpace]

I wish the press would stop encouraging that slimebag Michael Lohan into thinking people actually give a crap about what is going on in his stupid life. As usual, Lohan felt the need to call the media and give them the up-to-the-minute scoop on his latest drama with his kids and ex-wife. As you recall, Michael couldn’t wait to call OK! Magazine while his father’s corpse was still warm and whine to them about how Lindsay, Ali and his other kids probably wouldn’t attend the funeral thanks to his ex-wife Dina. Now, Michael is singing Dina’s praises and says that his kids will be attending the funeral after all. In case anyone cares.

Despite a brief, and quite public, war of words, it seems that all is once again well in the Lohan household. Or at least on its way to being so.
Lindsay Lohan’s father, Michael, told E! News he is set to call truce and reunite with his famous daughter and the rest of his offspring at a burial for his father, Richard, who passed away in New York last Thursday after a battle with cancer.
While devastating, the elder Lohan said the passing of his 73-year-old father has brought his family closer together, and while Lindsay was not present for her grandpa’s funeral, she will be present for the final service.
“She is going to be at the burial,” Lohan told E! News. “All my kids will be there.”
And it’s not just with his daughter that Lohan has laid down his verbal swords.
“And I can’t believe how great Dina has been,” he said of his ex-wife. “She has been wonderful. She has been the woman I married. She has been great.”
Lohan said the outpouring of support from his immediate family during this difficult time has been particularly touching.
“You will not believe it. I give a lot a credit to my son Michael. He has been the glue. He is growing up to be an amazing young man.”
Lohan said he also has a somewhat unorthodox funeral planned for his father, which will be held the last weekend of September in New York.
“My father always wanted to be cremated,” he said. “He wanted to have his ashes sprinkled in our county in Cold Spring Harbor, in the harbor. That was his favorite spot. So that is what we are going to do. We are going to get on our boat with probably like 50 or 60 people and go out. We are just going to sprinkle them together as a family.”

[From E! Online]

It really is hard to determine who is the biggest attention whore among the Lohans. As obnoxious as Lindsay and Ali are, the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree here. As much as I hate Dina Lohan, she hasn’t exploited the death of a family member for attention- at least so far. So I guess that makes Michael the winner.

Michael Lohan is shown talking to Kim Kardashian at a Hamptons club on 5/25/08. Look at how he’s pinching her cheek. Credit: ROC/ Fame Pictures

Ali Lohan on 5/7/08. Credit: HRC/WENN

Lindsay Lohan, infamous author of the drunken “adequite” Blackberry manifesto, has taken to firing back at rumors via her MySpace blog. Her latest diatribe is in defense of her younger sister and her mom amid rumors that Ali Lohan, 14, had breast augmentation surgery.

hey everyone..
i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
so, here’s the visual…
me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me…
one of them being, “Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?”
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my response simply was, “Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!”
i was caught out of nowhere so i didn’t really come up with the proper response at the time.. there’s many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money!
All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.
i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet!
It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye…
i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.
in a more positive light…
i got some great clothes from alexander wang and i miss samantha cuz she’s out of town
have a wonderful day everyone~

[From MySpace.com]

I love how she uses words like “disconcerting” and “manifest,” but then in the very next sentence uses “cuz” and a sad face. Brilliant. Also, I have to point out that the store she and her friend were shopping in wason Robertson Blvd. in LA – the street where there are more paparazzi per capita than anywhere else in the world. So her surprise at seeing photogs “out of nowhere” is a bit much. Other than that, I guess we have our answer on the teen boob job. Maybe Ali was just wearing a really good push up bra that day.

Note by Celebitchy: Yesterday we ran a story first suggested by US Magazine that little Ali Lohan, 14, either had a boob job or was wearing a massively breast-enhancing bra. She looked a lot different than earlier photos, but we also have to take into account the fact that she’s a teen girl and that they can mature quickly. Most of you voted for “growth spurt” in the comments, although you said Ali does have Dina for a mom and you wouldn’t put it past her to get surgery for her daughter at such a young age. Lindsay is widely rumored to have had a breast job at 17 after her boobs grew seemingly overnight. Ali is younger, though, which suggests her changes are due to hormones, not saline. Maybe Lindsay should work on talking to her sister about dressing a little less sexy and quit blaming others for asking questions about it.