Carrie Underwood looked incredible at last night’s Grammys in a high neck long sleeve white and silver sequin Gomez-Gracia gown. It was demure yet sexy and featured a subtle cut out at the back. Our friends at Red Carpet Fashion Awards write that her black clutch was “too heavy for this look,” but I disagree and find it kind of striking against the white. I like her poofy hair and her heavily done eyes paired with neutral lips. In some shots her eyelashes look like caterpillars they’re so huge. It’s overdone but somehow Carrie pulls it off. Carrie was up for Best Country Solo performance, for “Mama’s Song,” which went to Taylor Swift for “Mean.” She performed a duet last night with Tony Bennett, “It Had To Be You,” which was flawless. (You can watch it here.) I loved her performance gown as well and she switched up her hair for that too, opting for flowing waves.

Kate Beckinsale was done to the hilt as usual, only this time she attempted a more “casual” look that’s just as constructed as everything she puts out there. I think Kate looks gorgeous, as she always does, and I like that she has her hair pulled up in loose curls. It highlights her pretty face instead of bringing attention to all the fake hair she has. Kate was in a short Zuhair Murad one-shoulder cream gathered gown with a black ribbon detail. It also featured a trailing chiffon scarf-like loop at the side. It was a decent dress and appropriate for the event but it looked like it should have been knee length instead of so short.

Miranda Lambert was in a peachy-biege embroidered cap sleeve Pavoni gown that had some superficial features in common with Taylor Swift’s dress. I don’t love it and found it somewhat predictable, but it looks nice on Miranda and I like her styling. Kaiser and I were talking about this dress and she thinks it’s very pageanty and similar to a lot of the other tacky dresses Miranda wears. It’s not bad for what it is I guess. What’s up with her shoes, though? Look at her toes peeking out under her dress.

Julianne Hough really rocked a tight sleevess black and grey Kaufman Franco with abstract bamboo-like stripe detail. I love this dress and find it both contemporary and very flattering. Julianne’s styling leaves something to be desired, though. Her makeup could be bolder and her hair is kind of underwhelming with that center part that ends halfway down her scalp. Still, one of the better dresses of the night.

On the other hand Alicia Keys took contemporary too far in this Alexandre Vauthier Couture. Red Carpet Fashion Awards has a photo of the dress on the runway and Alicia paired it with the exact same shoes the designer used. Her feet look crammed in there and like her toes are trying to escape. That’s just the design of the shoes, and it’s so unflattering. Those padded shoulders coupled with that poofy hair just looks ridiculous. Plus she had the worst accessory of all.

Photo credit: Apega/WENN.com and KM/FameFlynet Pictures

I don’t have much to say about this story other than it reinforces the idea, in my mind, that Swizz Beatz is one shady piece of work. Swizz has been married to Alicia Keys since July 2010, and the marriage has been bookended by scandals. Before they even got hitched, Swizz was called out as a deadbeat father, a cheater and a liar. After everything became official, Swizz has dealt with tax problems, plus even more reports that he was screwing around on Alicia. And now this scandal – Swizz is going to be questioned by the FBI for his role in a file-sharing website called Megaupload. It’s not as sexy as a cheating scandal, but it’s still pretty sketchy:

Alicia Keys’ husband, Swizz Beatz, was tangled in crisis meetings with his legal team on Friday as the music producer faces possible questioning by the FBI. Beatz is CEO of Megaupload, a file-sharing Web site shuttered by the feds Thursday over Internet piracy claims.

Four of the site’s top executives were arrested, but Beatz was not named in the 72-page indictment filed Thursday by the Justice Department. Sources tell us Beatz believes he may be questioned by the FBI and is considering hiring a criminal defense lawyer. If convicted, the arrested executives could face up to 50 years in prison for the largest copyright case in history.

Beatz “expects to be questioned by the FBI,” a source close to his camp told us. “He’s the CEO of the site.”

When Page Six first revealed last week that Beatz was CEO of the Hong Kong-based file-sharing site, Megaupload lawyer Ira Rothken didn’t dispute Beatz’s position in the organization and acknowledged that Beatz persuaded Kanye West, Will.i.am and Sean “Diddy” Combs to participate in a promotional video for the site.

Rothken changed his tune Friday, telling the blog Venturebeat that “[Beatz] was negotiating to become the CEO, but it was never official.” Rothken didn’t get back to us to explain his altered view. Sources tell us Beatz has been CEO of the company for close to a year.

“Swizz is satisfied that he isn’t being investigated for any wrongdoing because had this been the case, they would have picked him up at the same time as the others,” a source said. “Swizz had no idea this was coming. He is very much in the dark about this investigation.”

Meanwhile, Keys’ camp is not commenting about the Web site, which she endorsed with a video testimonial.

A source added, “This appears to be a situation where Swizz agreed to be the CEO of Megaupload without first doing his due diligence about the company.”

Both Beatz’s lawyer and a rep for Keys declined to comment.

[From Page Six]

Innocent until proven shady? Or Always and Forever Shady? While I could have been convinced of the idea that Swizz had no idea what was going on with the website in general, the back and forth and contradictions about Swizz’s role in the company seems like some kind of cover-up, right? And why are we supposed to believe that Swizz isn’t involved in the company if his wife and his friends all gave testimonials on behalf of the company?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I’m not a big fan of making fun of someone’s overly-large forehead, because seriously, they can’t help it. Plus, I’m so opposed to bangs, I much rather see an adult woman’s forehead than have to look at some bangs trauma. In Tyra Banks’s case, I will admit that she generally looks better with a “softer” hairstyle, anything less severe than this Croydon Facelift she was working at last night’s Keep A Child Alive Black Ball. Incidentally, most attendees wore white and black… but not TYRA. Of course not. She wore this cheap-looking purple gown and worked her forehead like a Kardashian. That’s who Ty-Ty reminds me of here – Kim Kardashian. Neither woman should wear their hair pulled back this tight EVER. It makes Tyra look like a Disney villainess.

I’m also including some photos of Alicia Keys, who was the hostess of the event, and Swizz Beatz, who is still playing the dutiful husband (in public, but in private it’s a mess). I don’t even know what ‘Licia is wearing.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Here are some new photos of Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz at the premiere of the new Broadway play, The Mountaintop. Incidentally, I would love to see this play too – it’s a fictional account about Martin Luther King Jr.’s last night before he’s assassinated, where he’s talking to a waitress for most of the night. Samuel L. Jackson stars as King, and Angela Bassett is the waitress. Anyway, lots of stars came out for the premiere performance, but it was Alicia and Swizz who caught my eye because they were so loved up and “happy happy happy” for the cameras.

What consistently surprises me about Swizz and Alicia is that no one ever calls them out on their really sketchy, ridiculous union. I mean, I gossip and you guys gossip with me, but Alicia and Swizz never get called out in legit media. And Swizz is basically like an Ashton Kutcher, or a Tiger Woods or something. He’s got a ridiculous amount of scandal attached to him, but because Alicia is every woman’s sister (or something), their relationship gets the white-wash.

The latest white-wash is about Swizz’s years-long sexting (and more) relationship with a young woman named Christina Elizabeth. Bossip broke the story, and they got an exclusive with Christina too. Here’s part of what Christina had to say:

I’m only making this statement because I’m being put out there as a liar and I am very embarrassed. I would like to confirm that the rumor about Swizz Beatz cheating on Mashonda with me is absolutely true. I would also like to confirm that the rumors about Swizz “sexting” me, even in his present marriage, are absolutely true. I am also confirming that I lost my cell phone and someone else posted all the stuff that you see on the internet.

I’ve known Kasseem since 2007. We met at Solange Knowles’ (whom I do not associate with) birthday party in Houston, TX. A gentleman from Kasseem’s entourage approached me and said that someone wanted to talk to me. After I asked who it was, he pointed at Kasseem. I knew he was “Swizz Beatz”, but I did not know anything else about him. I gave him my phone number and he called me right away and invited me to eat at Katz’ Deli on Montrose Blvd. The next morning, he invited me to accompany him at Radio One (979 The Box) for his interview. Afterwards, we went back to his hotel room but we DID NOT HAVE SEX. A couple of hours later, he had to leave so he could catch his flight. He hugged and kissed me in public as if he were a single man.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks later. He invited me out to Miami with him and I gladly accepted. I met him in Dallas and we flew to Miami together. My last minute ticket placed me in coach and his ticket placed him in first class, but he switched his first class seat with the guy sitting next to me so he could sit next to me. In Miami, we stayed at his friends beautiful home. This is where we became sexually active and this is where I found out he was married. He snuck me through the house and it was all odd to me until I found a gift with Mashonda & Kasseem’s name on it. I asked him later on why he was cheating on her and he basically said she wasn’t being the wife he needed. He also said that if she asked if he was cheating, he would not lie to her, but he wouldn’t come right out and tell her.

After that trip, he invited me to meet him in Philly. I was picked up from the airport and taken to a club where he was performing at. Him and his crew jumped in the truck and we drove to VA from there. In VA, we got on a tour bus and drove to multiple destinations. After that, I flew back to Miami, he got sick and I got stranded in the Miami airport overnight. I flew back home to Houston the next day.

Later that week, he went on an overseas trip with Mashonda. I received a call from him saying “My wife is about to call you. Tell her nothing happened.” When Mashonda called me, this is exactly what I did. He did not contact me after that. They got a divorce and although we stayed in contact afterwards, there was nothing too drastic. I’m guessing this is when he was dating Alicia. Recently, we’ve been contacting each other (as you’ve all seen), but I haven’t physically seen him. We were making plans to, but I had to work and I wasn’t going to take off work to go see him. I live on my own, I have responsibilities and I strongly believe that if you are not contributing to those responsibilities, there is no reason for me to neglect them to entertain you. I am a very independent individual and the people who know me will tell you that I would never hold my hand out and ask for anything and if I do, I have a very hard time doing it.

Even though Swizz offered and offered and offered to buy me things, the only thing I accepted was plane tickets to go see him. He’s a wonderful man and I had a great time with him as well as a great relationship. Of course he’ll deny the whole thing and of course Alicia will stand up for her man. It’s understood.

Chris

[Christina Elizabeth’s statement to Bossip]

In an interview on a radio show, Christina Elizabeth also discussed her relationship with Swizz further, which you can read and see here. When asked if she still had feelings for Swizz, she said, “No, I don’t think so, I don’t think so. Even at the age of 19 I wasn’t like ‘Oh, I’ma be with him.’ I saw the reality of it all I guess.”

Just thought I’d remind everybody about this latest in a long line of sketchy, tacky infidelities while you were looking at Alicia and Swizz. Obviously, he’s a totally d-bag, but I hate her too for actively participating in this fraud.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Here are some more photos from last night’s premiere/screening of Lifetime’s Five, that project in which five celebrity women directed stories about breast cancer. It’s like If These Walls Could Talk, only it’s about breast cancer. I just covered the Jennifer Aniston stuff here. This post is just about Demi Moore and Alicia Keys, two of the other directors.

First up: the fashion. Demi is wearing Chanel. It’s… not very attractive. I think the patterned fabric on the top looks really dated. Plus, Demi looks like she’s losing too much weight, right? Extreme diet? Next subject: Demi and her face. We were talking about Demi’s face yesterday too – it’s looking particularly odd these days. Now, Demi rarely has that puffy, over-stuffed look that many Botoxy women get. Demi usually looks, to me, like she’s had an enormous amount of surgery. It’s about her eyes, the tightness of her jaw, the immobility of her forehead (which, granted, could be Botox). I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – there comes a point in time when everything catches up to a woman with lots of plastic surgery – they suddenly look OLDER than their age, more so than if they didn’t do anything.

Next up: Alicia Keys, who was the only lady on the red carpet to actually walk the carpet with her man. Yes, Swizz Beatz was there, showing the world that Alicia knows that he’s a dog who sext-cheats on her (at least), and she’s fine with it. How empowering! Alicia’s suit is nice, and much like Aniston, ‘Licia was flashing her bra. I also included Alicia’s “day” look yesterday, in which she wore a jumpsuit and looked like a fancy mechanic.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Well this is shocking. NOT (as Goop would say). Bossip is reporting that Swizz Beatz has been messaging (“sexting”) another woman. Bossip doesn’t have many details, like who this other woman is, but the site does have a photo of the Blackberry screen, which includes a message allegedly from Swizz writing that he wants to “f–k the sh-t out of you asap make it happen wow!” Also, they’re sending each other photos and trying to coordinate their schedules so this girl can fly out to meet him, I guess. You can see the photo here, at Bossip.

Meanwhile, Tale Tela seems to have more details about the alleged cheating, and the girl. According to their sources, the girl’s name is Christina Elizabeth, and she’s 23 years old. Also, Christina and Swizz met in 2007, back when she was… 19?!? And the source says that Swizz and Christina have been in contact with each other all of that time. Apparently, Christina lost her Blackberry, and someone found it and figured out that she’s been sexting Swizz for years. Or more.

Now, who would have predicted this turn of events, if this story is true? Oh, right. EVERYONE. Swizz has four baby-mamas that we know of - and he was fooling around on his now ex-wife Mashonda with both Alicia and his British bird Jahna Sebastian, who still isn’t getting any child support from him. The man just has issues.

These are photos of Swizz and Alicia during Fashion Week, over the weekend. We told you, ‘Licia. We told you he was a dog. You knew he was a dog too – but you wanted him anyway.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Oh, THIS is interesting. The October issue of Glamour Magazine features Jennifer Aniston, Demi Moore and Alicia Keys. The point of getting these three women into a photo shoot together is so that they can raise awareness about breast cancer, and promote their Lifetime project, Five. Five is a two-hour movie which is really five short films directed by these women on the theme of breast cancer.

But the idea of these three women in a room together… it’s fascinating. You know that both Aniston and Keys are homewreckers, right? And Demi… well, she’s just in a sucky marriage to a sucky person. Demi also looks very uncomfortable that she’s sharing the same lighting as Aniston and Keys, two younger women with much less “work”. I wonder what Alicia and Jennifer have to say to each other? Well, both of them are pretty New Age-y and “the spirit of the goddess compels me to Speak the Universal Truth”-like. The full Glamour piece is here, and here are some highlights:

Aniston is “interviewed” by Kristin Hahn, one of her closest friends, and executive producer on Five. Aniston talks about how she and Hahn got involved: “Well, about a year ago, Susan G. Komen for the Cure approached you and me with the idea. We were intrigued by the challenge of creating short stories that would defy audiences’ expectation of the subject. We wanted to balance the drama with humor and irreverence because that’s what’s helped our friends who’ve faced this get through their treatment…we wanted stories that were informative without being heavy-handed. Oh, and they needed to be brilliantly written. Other than that, our goals were small.”

Aniston on raising awareness: “Because we don’t yet have a cure, and cancer has grown 30,000 snakes out of its head. We need to go at this Medusa with all the firepower we’ve got, from research and legislation, to awareness and early detection, to support groups and compassion for everyone who walks through this. We need to show up for them, to talk to them, to not be afraid. We want people to walk away with hope and information but feel incredibly entertained. Cancer affects all of us, whether you’re a daughter, mother, sister, friend, coworker, doctor, patient. These films touch on that reality. The film I directed is called Mia, and it’s about a woman who takes her diagnosis as a death sentence and gives up—only to discover she’s gone into remission. We want people to know it is very possible to conquer breast cancer.”

The last time Aniston was “giddy”: “Putting my feet and handprints in cement in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theatre [on the historic Hollywood Walk of Fame]. That got me giddy! It was a milestone in my career, which was surreal because I still think I’m at the beginning of it. I remember when they told me about the honor, I thought, Really? I mean, I just did Ferris Bueller [the TV show]. I just did Leprechaun! I don’t understand! I thought, I just had a year of failures. [Laughs.] I’ve never lost that feeling of “Oh God, I hope I get this job!” I don’t want to get too used to any of this because then entitlement sets in, and that’s the kiss of death.”

Aniston on being 40, and remembering her 20s: “Being this side of 40 feels like what I should have felt being this side of 25: in my body, in my heart, happy with my life, and OK with whatever bumps in the road present themselves. Honestly, whatever angst-y times I’ve had came after fame, which we both know was after 22. When I was 22, I was having a ball! I would have nothing to say to myself. [Laughs. ] I was living in Laurel Canyon with my best friends, including you, and we were dreaming of creating things like Five.

Aniston on wearing the same bikinis year after year: “…and I’ll wear it for as many years as the strings still tie! Bathing suits now have so much hardware on them that they singe your skin. When you take your bikini off, it looks like you’ve been branded with crop circles and lightning bolts and words like Gucci!”

Aniston: “I couldn’t be in a relationship without … A human being! OK, in all seriousness, I would say I couldn’t be in a relationship without equality, generosity, integrity, spirit, kindness and humor. And awesomeness.”

Aniston on setting the record straight: “There’s not enough space in this article. Not even enough pages in this magazine! The truth is, most celebrities are doing the same things most other people are doing every day…work, have dinner, hang out with your friends when you can, try and keep up with the crazy world we’re living in and squeeze in some zzz’s. There’s not nearly as much stealing and obsessing and middle-of-the-night secret calls to ex-boyfriends and scheming and cheating [as they lead you to believe]. Most of it’s just bulls—t, however entertaining.”

Demi Moore on how she started on Twitter: “Originally, Ash and I were just playing, seeing what it did and what it meant. I’m intensely private, and I’ve openly shown annoyance at the paparazzi. That’s served in the past to create an image of me where I’m always frowning or looking angry. I saw Twitter as this opportunity to connect with people and actually show a side of myself that is much lighter. And all of a sudden people were getting to know me, and I was connecting with people. At its core Twitter is about sharing, and I think that in life we never feel better or more energized than when we’re giving to someone else.”

Demi on what makes her “giddy”: “I’m an old-school romantic, so I get giddy when Ashton shows me another way of saying “I love you”—any little thought or gesture that’s playful or sweet. We leave Post-it notes for each other; some have been sticking up for five or six years! For me, it’s the small things. The first day of filming Charlotte, Ashton sent this bouquet of soft blue flowers with a card that said, “I believe in you.” I put them in this little room that I parked myself in while we were shooting in the rest of the house, and that was the room that we shot my movie’s final scene in. “

Alicia Keys on reality singing competitions: “I used to watch American Idol a little bit. My grandmother sucked me into it, and I was like, “Why am I watching this, Nana?” Initially, I felt like it was showing people that to be an artist you’re just supposed to get on TV. But as time passed, and the industry changed, I started thinking of it as an outlet for people who otherwise wouldn’t have any opportunity to be heard. Now I think it’s a good thing. When you’re talented, you’re talented.”

Alicia calls her relationship a “blessing”: “Yes. It’s beautiful because rarely, I think, do you find a relationship where you can experience things equally. In fact, I think that’s my favorite word and the most important word when it comes to relationships: equality. And that’s what we’ve been able to find. We encourage each other equally. We’re excited for each other.”

Alicia remembers the exact moment she fell in love with Swizz: “I do remember the exact moment. If I told you, I would have to kill you, but it was something that he planned, and he planned it so beautifully and thoughtfully that in that moment I remember thinking to myself, Oh my God, I’m so in love with him.”

On baby Egypt: “My son, Egypt, makes me super giddy, especially when he laughs. His laugh makes me laugh like a maniac! I do think about [what kind of man I want him to be] a lot. He’s going to be a man in this world. It’s a beautiful blessing that I get to help raise a man. And I want to show him as much as possible.”

Why she named her kid Egypt: “ It was a time of transition. There were certain people [I was working with] who weren’t right. I had friends who weren’t right anymore. I was tired and I had overworked myself and burnt myself out. So I went to Egypt by myself. When I saw what was built there, it made me understand how powerful we are, that we can create anything. And I felt like I needed to create things that were timeless too.”

[From Glamour]

There are lots of interesting parts to the interviews (which were conducted separately, because I guess Aniston, Moore and Keys didn’t want to spend that much time together) that I didn’t get to, but you can read the whole piece if you’re interested.

My favorite moment, the part that made me LOL? It was Demi! When she was talking about Twitter and she said, “I’m intensely private, and I’ve openly shown annoyance at the paparazzi. That’s served in the past to create an image of me where I’m always frowning or looking angry. I saw Twitter as this opportunity to connect with people and actually show a side of myself that is much lighter.” Intensely private? The paparazzi took some photos of her frowning? Poor, poor baby. And now look at her – a famewhore who tweets bikini photos of herself after her husband bones randoms.

Photos courtesy of Glamour.

People Mag did an interview with Alicia Keys, and it came out a few days ago. I’ve been brooding about it for that long. I know some of you defend her, especially now that she’s gone “from homewrecker to housewife” and she’s a new mom and everything. That does make me more sympathetic towards her, but at the end of the day, Alicia still bugs. Big time. She openly had an affair with Swizz Beatz while he was married to Mashonda, she stuck by him as he went through paternity drama with another woman (Jahna Sebastian), she’s stuck by him even though Jahna says he’s a deadbeat, and even through Mashonda’s repeated public hissy fits. Basically, Alicia is the soul version LeAnn Rimes, only somehow, I think that Swizz is WAY more disgusting than Eddie Cibrian. And it pisses me off that Alicia’s behavior has gotten the legit-media whitewash. It pisses me off that Alicia gets to sit down with People Magazine and utter lines like “”There are so many similarities between us, it’s just mind-blowing. It’s really cool to have met my equal.” Her “equal”? Gurl…

It seems that married life is agreeing with Alicia Keys.

“It’s so fly,” the singer tells PEOPLE. “There’s something great about feeling at peace and ease with your partner and knowing you understand each other. I really enjoy that friendship.”

Keys, 31, who will celebrate her one-year anniversary with producer husband Swizz Beatz on July 31, adds that being like-minded with her mate helps keep things harmonious.

“There are so many similarities between us, it’s just mind-blowing,” she says of Beatz, 32 (with whom she welcomed a son named Egypt last fall). “It’s really cool to have met my equal.”

In fact, the two are so in sync that Keys even trusts Beatz (real name: Kaseem Dean) with helping her pick outfits for public appearances.

“I can say, ‘I’m not sure about this look for the BET Awards. What do you think?’ and I know that he will honestly tell me exactly what’s up,” she says.

The singer, who is also celebrating a professional anniversary – with the re-release her 2001 debut album, Songs in A Minor – says her wedding day tops the list of her favorite moments over a very eventful decade.

“When I walked down [the aisle] and saw him, I could barely hold myself together,” she says. “It was so beautiful – just about he and I and our love. The wedding was one of the best days of my life.”

[From People]

From the way the other women in Swizz’s life tell it, Alicia deserves no sympathy because she went into this whole mess with her eyes wide open, and if and when Swizz starts boning other ladies, Alicia should have known that karma was going to eventually smack her in the face. Will she still be participating in the whitewash if and when that happens? Or will it suddenly be, “Oh, poor Alicia, she got cheated on by such a dirt bag. He wasn’t HER EQUAL. He’s wasn’t SO FLY.”

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

There’s really no delicate way to put this – Alicia Keys unveiled her new wax figure at Madam Tussauds in New York yesterday and it looks like her white half sister! The features are off a little, which is typical, but more than that it’s too light. It could possibly be the lighting or the flash. Madam Tussauds’ African American celebrities, such as Will Smith, Beyonce, Denzel Washington, and Rihanna all look closer in skin tone to their originals. (Update note: Alicia is of mixed ethnicity.) It’s possible this is closer to how she looks without bronzer, as some commenters on Bossip are pointing out. A lot of people are also mistaking the wax Alicia with the black pants on for the real Alicia, because you would expect her wax figure to be wearing a dress. So I guess it’s hard to tell.

Another thing people are noticing is that they made her figure a little thick-looking in leather pants. She just had a baby eight months ago and they possibly took her measurements recently and made the mold completely accurate. She looks hot, but I would ask them to shave a size or two off me, and it’s been six years since I had my last kid. It’s a courtesy they owe you when they’re preserving your figure for posterity. It’s like airbrushing with wax – make my hips look skinnier damn it.

Alicia was on Good Morning America yesterday, where she performed Fallin and Butterflyz. She just put out a 10th anniversary edition of her first CD, Songs in A Minor. It seems like a lazy move to just do an anniversary edition, but I guess she’s busy with little Egypt and that beak nosed tax evader husband of hers. I don’t like how she ended up with that scammer, but I can’t be too hard on her. She’ll end up getting hurt in the end for sure.

I like her hair better wavy with the wax figure, but she had it curly on GMA and that was so pretty too. I love that she switched up her hair but left her dress the same.

Photo credit: Fame and WENN

Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz stepped out in London last night for the “Keep A Child Alive” benefit which raises money to provide treatment and support to families with HIV/AIDS in Africa and India. Completely noble cause, and I won’t knock it. I’m just here to talk about fashion, post-baby bodies and the fug dirt-bag-ness known as Swizz Beatz.

Alicia wore a “custom Givenchy Haute Couture by Riccardo Tisci custom-made long bustier black gown” (ID credit: Red Carpet Fashions). From the front, I love it. I think Alicia looks elegant and prettier than I’ve seen her look in a while, despite the too-pink lipstick. From the back… yikes. That white panel, plus an ass flounce, plus the tacky belt? It’s too much.

Can I just say? I’m so happy that Alicia has stopped with the forehead jewelry. It was getting too much, and every time Bossip called her “Cleopatra Keys” I thought “yeah, right on.” But you know she’s still Cleopatra Keys in her mind. She named her baby Egypt, for the love of God.

As for Swizz and his deadbeat ass…he looks like hell. Alicia could do so much better, but whatever. She’s happy. I won’t harp on about it, especially when I think their shelf life is limited and I’ll probably be covering their divorce soon enough.

Photos courtesy of WENN.