Thanks to reader Millie for sending us this People article debunking basically everything we’ve gleefully reported about the worlds most famous couple. Almost nothing, except the fact that Brad and Angelina are in Africa (or Angelina is, at this point) is true:

Damn! That just about blows every stupid thing we’ve written about them out of the water. My faith in the gossip industry is just about nil. They even make up quotes from people I actually know, and I’m not that connected.

Angelina did give a few real quotes in her Dateline interview that the press is blowing out of proportion. She said she can’t quite believe that she’s pregnant and is in denial about it, and that she plans on adopting more children.

She also supposely said that’s she’s not morbid, but that’s not from her Dateline interview and is just some random quote so who knows if it’s true?

16 month-old Zahara Jolie-Pitt suffers from rickets, a bone disorder that she developed while in an Ethopian orphanage. When she came down with a cold, Brad learned that rickets makes her more susceptible to all sorts of diseases that are common in Africa, including malaria and yellow fever. He became concerned for her health and brought her back to the states for medical care. Babies get sick a lot and Zahara will probably be fine, but this reopens the conflict between Angelina and Brad as to where Angelina will give birth:

You know Angelina will do whatever she decides, and won’t let someone else tell her where to have her baby. She is said to be planning to use a birthing tub in a Namibian hospital for a water birth. I had most of my labor in a birthing tub and found it to be very relaxing. It’s a nice alternative to medication and is said to be as effective as an epidural.

Update: Angelina Jolie’s Dateline interview:

Here are pictures from People Magazine online of the world’s most beautiful family. You may have seen most of them already, but some are new.

Angelina revealed in an interview with Anne Curry that her due date is about a month away. She is now said to be expecting a boy that they’re planning on naming Africa:

People reported a couple weeks ago that Jolie bought clothing suitable for a little girl and was overheard saying that she was expecting a girl, so chances are high that either one of these rumors is true.

Meanwhile the Jolie-Pitt Naimibian wedding rumor is further fueled by the fact that Brad bought a special “wedding crystal” that local custom dictates grooms give to brides on their wedding day:

As Millie commented on our article about the rumored Namibian wedding, maybe Angelina will go through with it - as long as it’s a local ceremony and not legally binding in the states.

Thanks to Just Jared for these screencaps from Angelina’s Today show Interview. It aired this morning at 7am and will be shown in full on Dateline on Sunday at 7pm. Just Jared also has parts of the interview transcribed. Angelina is advocating for education for children around the world.

The Today show interview is not on YouTube yet, but you can watch it online with Internet Explorer only (cause it’s MSNBC of course). Here’s the video.

Here is another interview with Angelina from her pre-Brad days. She discusses a boy in Africa that she met during her UN ambassador work who particularly moved her. Try not to cry when you watch it.

There’s a rumor that Brad Pitt requested that Catherine Zeta-Jones’ character meet an untimely death in Oceans 13, due to the nasty comments about his relationship with Angeilna made by her husband, Michael Douglas:

Brad may seem like a pansy now that he’s holing up in Namibia with Angelina, but he may be capable of being fierce when someone mocks him. Or maybe Angelina put him him up to it.

Update: Al Pacino has joined Oceans 13.

Angelina’s exclusive interview from Namibia with Ann Curry will air on the Today show tomorrow morning at 7am and on Dateline Sunday at 7pm. Angelina says she doesn’t talk about her relationship with Brad either to the press or with Brad himself and that she hopes to bring awareness to the need for education for children around the world.

She also said she knows the sex of the baby, but won’t reveal it.

Here’s a picture of Angelina with Anne Curry.

Just Jared has these beautiful candids of the Jolie-Pitts in Namibia, published in Hello! Magazine. The couple obviously posed for the pictures and most likely gave the proceeds to charity.

The accompanying article covers the recent news you’ve already heard about the couple in a very flattering light. Brad and Angelina didn’t grant an interview or provide any new quotes, and let their “philanthropic adviser” speak for them.

There are some interesting tidbits in the article. One passage about Angelina’s revelation that she needed to make a difference in the world is particularly touching:

They may have found some peace in Namibia now that the government is on their side and they’ve deported some pesky photographers. They’re undoubtedly hoping to take some of the heat off by releasing these beautiful pictures.

Several reports have Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie getting married in Namibia any day now. Last month’s rumor that they were getting married in Italy turned out to be false of course, but in this case they’re actually in the location where the wedding is said to be, so it may happen.

The main points supporting the wedding theory:

Proving that her charity knows no bounds and is on a different level entirely than the lame attempts by her boyfriend to save the world, Angelina Jolie is planning to buy a country in Dubai and set it up for African refugees. The Bosh reports:

Jolie will also take out an ad in USA Today next week begging for the US to intervene in the long-standing genocide in The Sudan:

The US could have stepped in and stopped the violence in the Sudan long ago, but the neocons decided they wanted the oil in Iraq and choose to invent a genocide over there. Saddam Hussein may have gassed Kurds in the 80s, but US news outlets downplayed the event at the time. Now an actual genocide has been happening in The Sudan for about three years and no one is doing a thing about it. Saving hundreds of thousands of lives would have cost a fraction of the total of the Iraq war, but no one has given it any attention. Ironically that’s why we pay attention to celebrities. It’s easier than dealing with the tragedy and hypocrisy of the real world, and we’re just as guilty as anyone.

Brad is gearing up his own philanthropic efforts. He will join “environmental group Global Green USA to sponsor a competition that will choose architects to rebuild parts of hurricane-devastated New Orleans.”

Back to our regularly scheduled gossip.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have come under fire for closing off roads to The Burning Shore Lodge where they’re staying in Namibia. They’ve also been criticized for the agressive, over-the-top behavior by their security team, headed by a security guard who was once charged with murder. So far their guards have pepper-sprayed a photographer and grabbed one local female reporter around the neck!

The latest news is that a photographer was beat totally senseless by one of their secuirty guards - right in front of Brad and four year-old Maddox!

They need to get some new help right away, because it’s unacceptable for people to get beat up or even threatened by the thugs on their staff. Maybe they’ll realize that they can’t let their staff hurt the paparrazi when they’re slapped with some huge lawsuits for the damage they’ve caused.

Here are some pictures of Brad Pitt shopping in Paris a little while ago. [via]

We realize that we reported the demise of Angelina and Brad’s relationship just yesterday. Just because they’re fighting it doesn’t mean that they have to break up. A story came out in Britain’s Mirror claiming that Angelina and Brad might get married in Namibia!

They’re staying at the Burning Shore Lodge again, and just stopped into the Etosha National Game Park for a few days. (Thanks to Glitterati for clearing this up.)

The story that they’re planning a wedding is totally speculative, but it sounds promising that their family is flying in:

Of course Angelina is due next month, so that could explain the relatives flying in. Still it seems kind of early to have people visit, so it’s possible that they’re planning a wedding!

Here are the pictures of the resort where they’re staying that we’ve already posted.

This doesn’t sound true to me, but I didn’t think that Angelina and Brad would move their family to Africa, either, so it might be more than just a rumor. Angelina Jolie is said to be thinking of getting rid of Brad Pitt once their baby is born:

While this could be true, she is also due soon and is probably more sensitive than usual. Hopefully she will change her mind once the baby arrives.

Meanwhile their over-agressive security forces are pissing off the locals and threatening people, and the new tattoo on Brad’s lower back has been revealed as a Sanskrit Buddhist blessing meant to protect his adopted son, Maddox. It is similar to the tattoo that Angelina has on her back. Will the guy ever get an identity of his own? No wonder Angelina’s tired of him.