Thanks to reader Millie for e-mailing me to let me know that I’m not Obsessed had the Shilloh baby pictures that are coming out in People and Hello!. Unfortunately they had to be taken down, but we’re under the radar for now and found them on the Saving Face Forum. This family is so cute that we feel sort of bad questioning Shiloh’s parentage.

In the press conference with Brad yesterday, Angelina dismissed claims that she may marry the supposed father of her newborn baby, saying that they are committed to their children, but that “to have a ceremony on top of it is nothing.” Getting married is nothing indeed, Angelina, especially when you have no plans to do it.

These photos are from Italian Vanity Fair.

Update: higher quality images thanks to CelebVent and originally from JustJared.

The National Enquirer says that Angelina is freaking out because she had sex with someone else right around the time she conceived Shiloh and that Brad Pitt might not be her biological father!

If Brad is a cuckhold (I just love using that word) that’s obviously much worse than having to deal with moving around the world at your girlfriend’s whim, and he might not put up with it!

The Enquirer could have made this up in order to move copies, but given Angelina’s sexual past it’s kind of believable. That’s incredible! At least the baby is passably Brads for now. We’ll have to see what she looks like when she grows into her features.

Here’s the latest real picture of the world’s most famous couple and baby from People Magazine. (Thanks Millie!)
The rest of the pictures come out in People this Friday, June 9th.

Thanks to Tabloid Whore for the story.

Angelina and Brad did their bit for Namibian tourism by confirming that Shiloh will have Namibian citizenship in a press conference today. They praised the medical care they received in the African nation and tried to justify their extreme security measures. They also said they’re coming back to the states in just a few more days:

Pitt said he’s going to work on “Oceans 13″ next, while Jolie will concentrate on her role as a mother.

Our favorite reader Millie says of these pictures that Angelina “looks fantastic and is clearly breastfeeding.” We agree. To borrow an expression from The Bastardly, Ow!

Angelina and Brad are shown with Namibian first lady Penehupifo Pohamba, regional governor Samuel Nuujoma and Child Welfare Minister Marlene Mungunda.

Thanks to Hollywoods Best for these photos and Just Jared for the interview text.

Jennifer Aniston is said to have broken down in tears upon hearing that little Shiloh had seen the light of day. This sounds like crap someone would make up, and I have very little faith in the British rags, so take it for what it is:

Jen may say she wants children but she balked when asked by Regis if she ever babysits Courtney Cox’s daughter, Coco, practically shouting “No!”.

The good news for Jen is that her career may be salvaged even if she is indifferent and infertile. “The Break Up” did much better than expected at the box office and bested “X-Men 3″ despite terrible reviews.

Here she is at a press conference for “The Breakup” in Sydney. Thanks to Hollywood’s Best for these photos.

Thanks to commentor Tink for pointing out that Shiloh has teeth in the picture of her on the cover of “Hello!” magazine that came out today. This means it’s probably a clever PhotoShop job. I couldn’t find any pictures of Angelina looking down like this, but if you’ve seen a similar image that could have been used to make this composite please let me know.

According to BabyCenter, only 1 in 2,000 babies is born with teeth:

It’s possible, but improbable that this picture is real. If this is a real photo, Shiloh is rarer than we thought.

Update: Thanks to everyone who commented and pointed out that:
a) Teeth in newborns is not that rare
b) This could be camera glare on the baby’s gums, which may be calloused from breastfeeding
c) These pictures are real because everyone’s getting cease and desist letters to pull them. (Except for me, since I’m under the radar. Maybe next week they’ll threaten me. In the mean time, I have no clue.)

Thanks to MollyGood for landing this picture of Shiloh Nouvel before anyone else that I’ve bothered to check.

These first pictures of the world’s most famous baby launched a bidding war at Getty Images, with representatives from celebrity magazines staying up all night to get a chance to buy the images:

For now we just have a low res cover of “Hello.” The rest of the pictures are sure to come out in ten minutes or so.

Update: slightly bigger version from Just Jared.

Brad Pitt may be jealous of the former murder suspect who is running Angelina Jolie’s security force. Angelina calls the head of her security team, Mickey Brett, her “rock,” and seems to relinquish control to the man who has been her bodyguard since 2001. She’s supposedly even asked him to be Shiloh’s godfather:

[via]

If that’s true it doesn’t bode well for Pitt, who’s been widely blasted for serving as Angelina’s nanny, adopting her hobbies and interests, and generally catering to her every whim. Angelina may seem like she wants a “yes” man, but wimpy guys are easily discarded. Brad may look like less of a man when compared to a tough security guard who can set limits with Angelina.

Mickey Brett is considered a thug and is said to be responsible for the heavy-handed tactics of the Jolie-PItt security force in Namibia. Journalists have been followed, threatened, and beaten senseless for trying to get pictures of the famous family. Brett was suspected in the 1993 hiring death of a British tycoon, but was eventually cleared of charges due to lack of evidence

Pitt is said to be fed up with the heat and seclusion in Africa, and it’s reported that he plans to move the family back to the states in early July so that he can start work on “Oceans 13.”

Here are pictures of Pitt taken in NY about a year ago. [via]

This sounds completely fabricated, but a supposed 20 Century Fox “executive” says that Angelina Jolie gave Brad Pitt STDs while they were filming “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.” He goes on to speculate that she needed a C-Section due to herpes

This would have been partially believable if it were not for the fact that the writer speculates that most all celebrities who had C-Sections recently did so due to herpes. Unnecessary C-Sections are incredibly common, and Angelina’s baby was said to be breech. It’s also completely untrue that most cesearians in healthy young women are due to herpes.

It’s a juicy bit of gossip, but one that’s totally false - just like the hot story of Angelina having lesbian sex in the bathroom.

Brad Pitt’s parents are now in Namibia visiting their new grandchild. Brad and Angelina are said to be returning to the states July 1st so that Brad can work on Oceans 13.

Thanks to the PopBitch e-mail newsletter for pointing this out. An easy nickname for Shiloh Pitt is Pile ‘O Shit!

The poor girl is named after the place she was conceived and has a name that’s not only weird, but quite easily mocked.

Brad and Angelina may not have anticipated the hysterical Spoonerism of their baby’s name, but they did prepare for her blogging future. They’re not taking any chances and had their lawyers snatch up most variations of the Shiloh Pitt domain name on Saturday when the baby was born.

PopBitch also states that Angelina and Brad’s thugs are so unrelentless that they followed a journalist home and totally harrassed her. They also say that a female journalist got the scoop on Angelina’s birth by sleeping with one of the male doctors at Swakopmund Cottage Hospital:

I do like Angelina and Brad, and I think they meant well by holing up in Namibia, but their staff is out of control and it makes them look like clueless squatters. It’s also a sad commentary on the state of the gossip media when a “journalist” trades sex for a story. (If you send stories I’ll give you a shout out at least. Just send me tips at info@celebitchy dot com.)

We reported yesterday that Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt got her middle name from her architecture-loving daddy Brad, who admires French architect Jean Nouvel. The source we quoted thought Shiloh might be a tribute to the place where Brad and Angelina made sweet love to conceive the baby, but said that was uncertain:

It turns out that there’s a Shiloh in California and Brad and Angelina were there nine months before the tot was born. How freaking original:

That’s dumb, especially since Shiloh is a weird name that’s hard to pronouce. David and Victoria Beckham named their first son Brooklyn after his place of conception, but they’re not as bright as the Jolie-Pitts and can be forgiven for using such a trite baby-naming convention. Brooklyn also isn’t that bad of a name for a boy.

Not only is Shiloh going to have to live with that weird name, she’ll be cursed with visions of her parents having sex when people ask her how she was given her unique moniker. Even if your parents are super hot like Brad and Angelina, you still don’t want that image in your head.