This video is so graphic I’m not posting it here, and you can go on over to Gawker to watch it. This proves that Anna Nicole Smith will stop at nothing to get some cash, because she sold this video for $1 million dollars. I don’t know why I’m surprised, considering that her claim to fame was marrying an 89 year-old guy she met while stripping the afternoon shift.

I’m pretty grateful that this was taped off the television instead of being directly transfered to video, because the added bit of blur gives it that much less of an edge, but it’s still really cringe-worthy. If Danielle was still alive he would be mortified, and this footage is sure to haunt Dannielynn for the rest of her ridiculed life.

Yesterday I ignored Anna Nicole because I was Halloween hungover and almost as sick of her as I am Madonna. Madonna talked more crap about baby pawn Davie Banda, saying people don’t understand why she has a child of a different color and that she doesn’t consider that more shocking than her horse-themed S&M show (Tickets still available!) or her new children’s book (in stores soon!)

Like Madonna, Anna Nicole is still making disturbing, unbelievable headlines as the latest news in her sad saga is released. There was a report that Anna wanted to bring Daniel’s body with her if she got deported from the Bahamas for not being a bona fide homeowner. She was actually said to be considering exhuming him to take him to the states with her. I really hope that’s not true, but considering that she took over a month to bury him and then asked the undertaker at his funeral if she could bathe him, it sounds plausible.

Daniel’s toxicology report reveals he had seven drugs, not just three, in his system at the time of his death. He was on several cold medications, a sedative, and yet another antidepressant along with the deadly combination of Lexapro, methadone, and Zoloft that was said to have killed him. One of the drugs he was on was Amitryptaline, a mild antidepressant that is sometimes prescribed for unspecified muscle and joint pain. I was on Amitryptaline several years ago when I suffered a drug interaction from just that and Neurontin, which I was given for bad circulation. The effects were so severe that I had slurred speech for hours and had to go to the emergency room. If that’s what happened to me with two drugs it’s not shocking that a cocktail of similar drugs would kill someone.

The man who claims he’s the father of Anna Nicole’s less than two month old newborn claims in new court papers that she dyed the tyke’s hair to get her to look more like her the other guy she claims is the father. He says that in clips he saw of an upcoming “Entertainment Tonight” interview with Smith the baby’s hair is now dark when it was blonde when she was first born. He think Anna dyed the baby’s hair and says it’s “horrendous” and harmful to the child.

Anna Nicole had pneumonia recently and had to be treated at the same hospital where she gave birth and Daniel died. Her lung needed to be drained of excessive fluid after severe pain sent her to the emergency room. The illness was blamed on a “cold snap,” but as Mollygood points out it’s been consistenly warm in the Bahamas so it’s more likely that she’s just worn out from too much drugs and drama.

Oh yeah, and she’s also battling an eviction notice from yet another guy she once claimed was the father of her baby. Confused yet?

Anna Nicole managed to kept her foolish mouth shut for almost two months, but that’s going to change soon. An interview with her will air tonight on “Entertainment Tonight” spinoff “The Insider,” in which she wonders aloud why God didn’t take her instead of Daniel. We are wondering the same thing.

Anna Nicole Smith was indeed served eviction papers by yet another man who could potentially be Dannielynne’s father, as we reported yesterday.

It turns out that Anna was banging a guy in Florida at the same time she got sperminated by the most likely candidate, paparrazi photographer Larry Birkhead. The other guy was a wealthy old real estate developer, and true to form Anna tried to pin the pregnancy on him since he has more cash and she’s still waiting for the over half a billion she thinks she’s owed for being married to a 89 year-old man for just over a year.

The other guy, Gaither Ben Thompson, told Anna that there’s no way he could be the father of her baby since he’s had a vasectomy. Anna was forced to admit to him that the baby was Birkhead’s:

Sources say in May of this year, Anna Nicole contacted Thompson to say that he was the father of her soon-to-be-born baby girl. It’s especially interesting because we’re told that Anna Nicole had contacted people familiar with Thompson inquiring about his wealth. That’s when Thompson dropped a bombshell — that it was impossible for him to father a baby because he had already had a vasectomy. Days later, sources say Anna Nicole confessed to Thompson that Larry Birkhead was the father. Birkhead, an entertainment photographer who had a relationship with Anna Nicole, has filed legal papers in Los Angeles to establish paternity.

What’s more, Anna was hanging out with her creepy lawyer, Howard K. Stern, down in Florida at the same time she was screwing Thompson. This lends credence to Larry Birkhead’s claim that Howard is just Anna’s buddy and methadone supplier and there’s no way he’s the father of her newborn.

The house worth $1 million where Anna is staying in the Bahamas, and upon which her residency depends since she claims to be a homeowner, is owned by Thompson.

Thompson gave her the house in August because he felt sorry for her and expected to be paid back. Indeed, Anna seems to have netted enough from photo ops to be able to afford mortgage payments, but Thompson says she hasn’t given him anything and has to get out by October 31st.

If Anna gets deported to the states because she no longer has a house in the Bahamas she could be legally forced to get paternity testing due to Larry Birkhead’s lawsuit. Anna and Howard claim the baby is Howard’s due to “timing,” but have refused to submit to any DNA tests. Anna and Howard did not show up for a meeting in the Bahamas with Birkhead’s lawyer on Monday, making it seem like they’re avoiding the paternity issue at all costs.

The complexity of Anna’s situation is probably completely lost to her, but at least the methadone is taking the edge off. She took 39 days to bury her son Daniel after he died of a drug interaction in her hospital room. She wailed unconsolably at the funeral, and asked the funeral director if she could take her dead son’s corpse home for a warm bath.

It’s hard to imagine how the Anna Nicole Smith saga could get any more Shakespearean. (Unless Daniel was the father of her baby, Howard was really a woman, and all of them go to jail. That sounds like a fitting outcome.)

Anna Nicole Smith and Howard K. Stern’s drug den in the Bahamas is rented, and they haven’t paid anything for it, so the owner might evict them. What’s more is that he’s also rumored to be the father of Anna’s baby. Who isn’t?

Meanwhile add Anna’s half-sister, Donna Hogan, to the list of relatives that are trashing her. Her sister says she’s a “freaking waste of a human being” for waiting so long to bury her son but managing to get married and sell the pictures in the very long interim. By the way, her sister is also publishing a tell-all book about Anna that will come out next month.

Among the revelations in the book is Donna’s suggestion that Anna’s long-dead husband, billionaire J. Howard Marshall, could be the father of Dannielynn because Anna “always talked of freezing [Howard's] sperm”

According to Hogan, Smith “doesn’t even know who the father of her children is,” and suggests that her newborn’s father could be her late husband, millionaire J. Howard Marshall, because Smith “always talked of freezing the old man’s sperm.”

Last week, an attorney for Anna said she would not submit Dan-nielynn to a DNA test demanded by ex-boyfriend Larry Birkhead, who believes he, not her lawyer Howard K. Stern, is the daddy.

Anna’s own mother said just last week that Daniel’s death was suspicious and that Howard K. Stern should be investigated.

Daniel Smith was finally buried yesterday after dying accidentally from a drug interaction 39 days prior. In the long interim between his death and funeral, his mother Anna Nicole Smith staged a fake wedding, bribed the Bahamian government to fast track her citizenship application, and brokered lucrative deals with photo agencies for pictures of her commitment ceremony and her son’s last precious moments with his new baby sister.

Now Daniel has finally been buried in a mahogany casket, wearing his favorite trucker cap and jeans. His mother wore a custom-designed mourning outfit by the same designer who cobbled together her play wedding dress:

I’m so glad that Anna was able to wear custom couture to her son’s funeral.

While Anna’s pathologist has said that Daniel died from a drug combination of the antidepressants Lexapro and Zoloft along with the heroin substitute methadone, the Bahamian authorities have yet to make an announcement as to the cause of death. The Bahamian police investigation is complete, with the findings handed over to the attorney general’s office, who will determine if an additional inquest is needed. I wonder if Anna and Howard bribed that guy yet.

The photographer who claims he’s the father of Anna Nicole’s baby, Larry Birkhead, has filed suit to get her lawyer, the other guy who claims to be the baby’s father Howard K. Stern, to take a paternity test. He also put up a website for his newborn (site has automatic music) to let the little one know how much he wants to meet her.

I’m getting sick of this whole soap opera, but I really want to see Howard K. Stern and Anna Nicole Smith get some jail time for supplying Daniel with the methadone that killed him.

Daniel Smith died about a month, and his mother had plenty of time to stage a mock wedding and work out lucrative deals with photo agencies. One thing Anna Nicole Smith hasn’t done, however, is find time to hold a funeral and burial for her tragically departed 20 year-old son.

Friends and family held a memorial service for him in Mexia, TX this weekend, where he lived as a young child. Of course Anna didn’t attend. Her ex husband, who is not Daniel’s father, was there and friends remembered Daniel as a happy, playful child.

Meanwhile Bahamian authorities have come to the US to continue their investigation into Daniel’s untimely death. They interviewed doctors to try and figure out how Daniel obtained the lethal antidepressant and methadone combination that resulted in an accidental drug interaction. They say they have not found evidence of criminal activity, but considering that Anna Nicole’s ex boyfriend claims she’s a methadone addict it seems they just as easily could have stayed home and interviewed Anna and Howard to figure out what happened.

Anna Nicole is trying to fast-track her residency application to the Bahamas by bribing the government to the tune of $10,000. She sent a check to the Bahamian immigration minister in the hope of obtaining citizenship as soon as possible. It’s unknown why she would do this, but it probably has something to do with Larry Birkhead’s paternity claim on her newborn. Unwed fathers have almost no rights to their children in the Caribbean.

Two more men besides Larry Birkhead and Howard K. Stern have claimed to be the father of Anna Nicole’s newborn, Dannielynn, but it is thought they are speaking out for publicity reasons.

Anna Nicole’s tragic trashtastic tale is the story that just keeps on giving.

Daniel’s body is still in the Bahamas awaiting word from Anna as to what to do. If I’m jumping the gun by calling her irresponsible for not burying him yet let me know. She could be in denial or something, but it seems uncaring to not have taken care of matters by now.

When I saw these pictures of Anna Nicole Smith and Howard K. Stern’s wedding I kind of cringed a little. Anna looks strung out and greasy faced, especially in the picture of her holding her baby. The whole thing seems like a ridiculous stunt considering that she had a baby and her son died just three weeks ago.

The accompanying article is a fluff piece about how great the fake wedding was and how Anna’s been coping with the tragedy of losing her son after supplying him with methadone.

When asked why they had the stupid ceremony in the first place, a different one of Anna’s lawyers claimed they needed the “adrenaline rush.” It looks like the cash for the pictures was a bigger motivation.

Larry Birkhead has filed suit at an LA courthouse claiming paternity of Anna Nicole’s newborn Dannielynn. In statements given to the press, he insists that Anna Nicole and Howard K. Stern are just friends, that there’s no way Stern is the father of Anna’s baby, and that Stern was often hanging around the house when he visited Anna. He also claims that Anna miscarried an earlier baby she conceived with him.

These pictures destroyed any shred of sympathy I had left for Anna. I wish her well and I hope her baby gets the care it needs, but she and Howard need to be questioned and put on trial to determine their role in Daniel’s death.

Photos from People Magazine. There is also one picture from Splash News Online of Larry Birkhead arriving at court to file paternity papers.

Anna Nicole’s quick weight loss and loopy public appearances make a lot more sense in light of the lawsuit filed by the man who claims he’s her baby’s daddy. Photographer Larry Birkhead says Anna is addicted to the heroin substitute methadone and that her lawyer Howard K. Stern is her dealer. In a lawsuit asking for custody of Anna’s newborn, Danilynne, Birkhead claims that Anna escaped to the Bahamas right before she was due to give birth in order to avoid drug testing, with the added benefit of denying him paternity rights.

He also says that not only is Howard K. Stern not the father of the baby, but that Anna initially shopped around for another man to pose as her baby’s daddy:

If this is true it sheds light onto why Anna was overheard screaming “You did this!” when she first found her son Daniel’s lifeless body. Daniel died from a lethal combination of methadone, Zoloft, and Lexapro. He only had a prescription for Lexapro. Howard might have slipped him a little something extra to help him relax after his long journey to meet his new baby sister.

That’s incredibly sad. Anna and Howard need to be taken into custody soon and questioned about Daniel’s death.

Anna Nicole Smith and Howard K. Stern held a “commitment ceremony” aboard a yacht attended by an officator and some of their friends. While it was initially thought to be a wedding, it turned out to just be a bizarre ceremony with no legal purpose. They issued a statement condemning the press for invading their private party with jetboats delivering champagne, but it sure comes off as hypocritical now. It turns out that they invested the money from selling Daniel’s last photographs into throwing a fake wedding so they could sell the pictures and make bank.

Getty Images, the photo agency that purchased the rights to the last heartbreaking photos of Daniel Smith with his mother and newborn little brother sister, also paid $1 million for the pictures of the bullshit wedding:

Now that no one feels sorry for Anna at all, she’s getting sued by her baby’s daddy for paternity rights. Photographer Larry Birkhead claims that he’s the father of Anna’s baby, not her drugged lawyer, Howard K. Stern. Stern told Larry King that he’s the father, but skirted the question when asked if he would take a DNA test, and said he would have a paternity test only if “legally compelled.” Birkhead has called him on his comments, and has filed suit to have Anna and the baby tested for both drugs and paternity:

Anna’s just about to crawl back into the career hole she emerged from when she starred in that annoying reality series and lost a ton of weight with gastric bypass. She squandered public sentiment with opportunism. If she can’t get ahold of the billions of dollars she married her ancient second husband for, at least she can take advantage of her newfound tragic fame to make a quick buck.

In a move that screams “totally inappropriate publicity stunt,” Anna Nicole and her drugged lawyer, Howard K. Stern, had a “commitment ceremony” aboard a yacht complete with guests, an officiator, and speedboats delivering champagne. They claim it was meant to be a private affair, but then why did they invite guests, hold it at sea and make it look like a wedding?

Yeah, the first thing I wanted to do when my baby was three weeks old was go party it up with my partner. Now, it’s understandable to have a gathering for friends and family who came out to see the baby and comfort Anna, but why hold a “commitment ceremony?” It seems really hackneyed to me. Anna deserves every happiness and all, but this is a dumb move and people are going to stop feeling sorry for her soon.

No one believes this guy is the father of her baby, and holding a faux wedding isn’t going to change anything.