DMX’s life is really going down the crapper. On Tuesday he was arrested in Arizona for speeding over 100 MPH and driving with a suspended license. In January, a judge ordered him to pay $1.5 million in a defamation suit brought against him by the mother of one of his children. DMX had said in an interview that he didn’t cheat on his wife, because the woman had raped him. He also said he didn’t remember sleeping with the woman, and he’d remember, because she was ugly. So she must have raped him. And last summer, sheriffs took away twelve of the rapper’s pit bulls due to neglect and abuse. So the easy way to sum up DMX’s life right now is that he is physically incapable of doing even one thing right.

But apparently that wasn’t enough for the guy. On Friday, police went to DMX’s home to finally arrest him on animal abuse charges. Did the guy surrender like a normal person? No, he holed up in his room, refusing to come out, and forcing the police to call in the SWAT team.

…the actor-rapper was arrested early Friday at his Phoenix-area home on suspicion of animal abuse and felony drug possession following a search of the house and, before that, a brief standoff with police when he attempted to shut himself up in his bedroom. According to the Maricopa County sheriff’s office, a SWAT team executed a search warrant on DMX’s Cave Creek, Ariz., residence at about 3 a.m. in connection with a seven-month-old investigation into reports that the Cradle 2 the Grave star had a number of malnourished pit bulls on his property.

“A guy like this DMX character with all his money and fame has no excuse for not providing proper care for his animals,” said Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. “He has a long criminal history and obviously has no respect for the law.”

DMX, whose real name is Earl Simmons, tried holing up in his room when the fuzz first arrived, but officers quickly talked him into cooperating, after which they discovered weapons, drugs and five pit bull puppies, which were taken to a nearby prison where female inmates will look after them (the pups, not the guns and drugs).

[From E! News]

DMX is due in court on the charges next week. He was also booked on four counts of drug possession. His lawyer gave some poorly worded speech about how the sheriff just had it in for DMX, because he was videotaped speeding and arrested. And apparently the lawyer thinks the sheriff somehow took that as a personal insult. Um… I’m guessing it definitely served to remind the guy to follow up on some legal issues with DMX, but I don’t think it’s exactly a personal affront.

“I think [that] Earl, when he was caught on video just this week speeding at 114 miles per hour, just rubbed it in [the sheriff’s] face, so the sheriff felt he had to do something. From what I hear, I would’ve been glad to bring Earl in if they ever requested it. I called the sheriff on numerous occasions and never, ever received a phone call.”

[From E! News]

All right then. Next time, it might be a better idea to advise your client not to keep breaking laws, instead of complaining when he gets arrested on new and old charges. Maybe feed your dogs, take care of them, treat them with dignity… and drive less than 114 mph. All those things are likely to keep a sheriff – even one with a personal vendetta – off your back.

Amy Winehouse is getting to be like Pete Doherty. It’s really difficult, if not impossible, to keep up with what she’s accused of and what she’s being arrested for. I saw the latest story that she’s been arrested, and thought that it must be mistaken, because wasn’t she just arrested like last week? It was a week and a half ago, I see, and she was arrested (or went in voluntarily, depending on who you believe) for an incident in which witnesses claim she hauled off and headbutted a guy outside a bar. She was also said to have smoked drugs on the sidewalk and to have deliberately knocked over tables and drinks in the pub. Police let her off with a caution for assault, which means it goes on her record or something but is not an official charge.

Now she’s finally been arrested for the video of her smoking crack that was published on The Sun’s website back on January 22. The next day reports came out that the video was turned over to police, so why did it take them over three months to finally call her in?

Just like the last time she was arrested, her rep is trying to spin it like it was “voluntary”:

“Amy Winehouse voluntarily attended a London police station today by appointment,” her rep said in a statement. “She was arrested in order to be interviewed and is co-operating fully with inquiries. The interview relates to a video handed to police earlier this year.”

[From US Weekly]

It’s doubtful that the police will do much to Amy for the drug-taking video as it’s hard to prove what exactly she was smoking. Amy’s music career is already in jeopardy, with her producer Mark Ronson saying “I’m not sure Amy is ready to work on music yet” and admitting that they weren’t able to finish the lead track for the new James Bond film. What will it take to get her to clean up?

She has a lot of demons to distract her. The Sun reported this weekend that her jailed husband, Blake, was plotting with his new girlfriend to try and extort money from Amy. He is said to be demanding a $6 million divorce settlement.

Thanks to Splash for these photos of Amy supposedly waiting for a pizza outside a recording studio yesterday. She’s an exhibitionist, or maybe her skin was so itchy she wanted to strip down for better scratching access. Why is she holding a jar of mayonnaise up to her face?

Mug shot via TMZ
CSI star Gary Dourdan pulled a George Michael and was found by police passed out in his car at 5:21 this morning in Palm Springs, California. Cops must have searched his vehicle because TMZ reports that he was arrested on suspicion of heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs. He is now out of jail after posting bail of $5,000.

——–possible CSI Spoiler below——–

This week’s National Enquirer reports that Dourdan was canned from CSI for his drug and alcohol problem, but that he’s telling people he was fired:

“CSI” star Gary Dourdan claims he quit the show - but he was fired due to drug and alcohol abuse, say sources!

Gary - who plays criminalist Warrick Brown - is telling pals that he decided to walk away from the hit CBS drama, but show insiders insist that studio brass gave him the boot after weeks of tension on the set.

The 43-year-old actor has confessed in interviews to “reckless periods” when he abused drugs and alcohol, but claims he quit cold turkey in his 20s. Despite that, insiders say the show’s producers got fed with Gary’s drugging and boozing - and pulled the plug on his TV crime-fighting career.

When contacted by The Enquirer, CBS wouldn’t comment on the reasons for Gary’s departure.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, May 5, 2008]

The Enquirer reminds us that Dourdan pled no contest to misdemeanor battery in 2005 after it was alleged that he beat and raped a former girlfriend. And remember that video that TMZ posted last summer of Dourdan chasing and taunting a paparazzo instead of the other way around? Dourdan is said to have beat up the guy and smashed his head on the pavement, but it’s hard to tell from the videos they have up, which are pretty shaky because the victim is carrying the camera. There’s a lot of running and swearing going on, and whatever happened it’s clear that Dourdan is taunting the poor guy.

In response to Dourdan’s photographer beat down in mid July, 2007, CBS issued a statement that he had not been dropped from the show. It looks like he’s out of there at this point and that it’s not like getting busted for drug possession is going to affect his already-tanked career. Gary Dourdan’s bio is still up on the CSI website, but look for a statement from CBS about his employment status in light of his recent drug bust.

Alright, stop. Collaborate and listen. Vanilla Ice, aka Rob Van Winkle, has been arrested after yet another domestic dispute with his wife in which he pushed her around. Rob, who most recently appeared as his angry self on VH1’s “The Surreal Life” a few seasons back, was taken away to cool off in the clink after a heated argument with his wife, Laura.

Rapper and recent reality TV star Vanilla Ice was arrested and booked into the Palm Beach County Jail on Thursday night on a charge of simple domestic battery after his wife called deputies to say her husband was hitting and kicking her.

Deputies arrived at their Wellington home around 7:15 p.m. to find the 40-year-old star, whose real name is Robert Van Winkle, on his motorcycle, two blocks from their home.

Back at the house on Trianon Place, Laura Van Winkle appeared uninjured and was less forthcoming, saying she did not want to deal with media attention but wants a divorce, according to a deputy’s report. She said her husband had not hit or kicked her, but had pushed her.

“He started yelling at me for going out to buy a bedroom set. In front of my daughter,” she told a deputy, the arrest report says. “I’m sorry I can’t say any more until I talk to an attorney.”

Her husband, in turn, told deputies that he and his wife had been arguing since the previous day.

He said his wife is bipolar and takes medication but still has irrational and argumentative episodes and had thrown a picture frame from a rear balcony to the ground, where it shattered near him and their 8- and 10-year-old children.

He denied pushing his wife, the report says. He said he left on his motorcycle so they could cool down.

It’s not the first time he has been arrested in South Florida. In 2004, he was booked into the Broward County Jail on a domestic battery charge, records show.

[From The Palm Beach Post]

Actually, that domestic battery charge in 2004 wasn’t his first time, either: the washed-up rapper was also arrested in 2001 for putting his hand over his wife’s mouth, hitting her and pulling chunks of her hair out. It sounds like this guy likes to physically intimidate his wife, and then blame it on her for being bi-polar. Maybe a divorce isn’t such a bad idea. Word to your mother.

Vanilla Ice is shown below in January, 2004 thanks to PRPhotos. His most recent mug shot is in the header.

Paris and Nicky Hilton’s little bro, Barron, was sentenced today for his Feb. 12 DUI arrest. The teen faces a suspended license for a full year, as well as probation. Which is more than Mischa Barton got for driving without a license, DUI and possession of a narcotic.

Barron Hilton pleaded no contest to DUI charges Wednesday in a Malibu, California, courthouse.

His license was suspended for a year, and he was placed on three years’ probation. He must also attend a three-month alcohol program.

In addition, Hilton, 18, is required to visit a Los Angeles County morgue and attend a lecture given by Mothers Against Drunk Driving, Celebtv.com reports.

The younger brother of Paris Hilton was arrested February 12 for having a blood alcohol level of .14 — nearly twice the legal limit — unlawful use of a license and driving without a license.

[From Us Weekly]

I’m glad that this kid is being held accountable for his actions. Hopefully he will take it more seriously than his older sister did the first time around and keep himself out of trouble. It seems like his parents were a lot less accommodating to Barron than they were with Paris after her arrest- it’s reported that when Barron was arrested, his parents let him wait it out a while in the holding cell before bailing him out- and that Paris outright refused to bail him out.

Former ‘OC’ actress Mischa Barton, who hasn’t had much of a career since being killed off that show, is supposed to be entering a plea agreement for her DUI bust last year. Barton was stopped last December for suspicion of DUI and the cops also found marijuana on her. Because, why just drink and drive like all those other Hollywood starlets, when you can drink, get stoned and drive?

“O.C.” wanna been Mischa Barton has decided to take a plea bargain in her DUI case — clever girl that one.

A source tells TMZ that at her court date on Thursday she’ll plead no contest to the DUI charge. In exchange, the marijuana charge will be dropped and the driving without a license rap will be reduced to an infraction.

Greasy’s ex-GF will then have to serve three years of unsupervised probation, attend an alcohol education class and pay a fine.

A source tells us this is “fairly standard” for a first-time offender like Miss Mischa, who was arrested last December, adding that she’s “learned her lesson.

[From TMZ]

“Fairly standard,” my ass! Maybe it’s “fairly standard” for Hollywood starlets, but if Mischa had been driving anywhere else in the country, she would be wearing an orange jumpsuit right now. Which might be an improvement over her regular attire. This girl is absolutely useless in my opinion- a shitty actress, not all that pretty and a horrible dresser — and that was before I remembered she actually used to date Brandon Davis. And don’t even get me started on her last ex, Cisco “Bocce Balls” Adler. As for learning her lesson, my guess is that Mischa learned the following lesson: she is not famous or talented enough to turn a DUI bust into a career boost. If it didn’t work for Lohan, it definitely will not work for her.

Mischa Barton is shown after lunch at La Scala on 3/28/08 wearing shorts and a “Bite Butts” t-shirt, thanks to Splash News.

Anne Hathaway’s boyfriend, Italian businessman Raffaelo Follieri, is in hot water over a bad financial deal again. It seems Follieri, who is quickly becoming the new Stephen Belafonte, wrote a $250,000 check to a PR agency- and it bounced. Shad-y.

Anne Hathaway’s Italian stallion was just arrested by NYPD for allegedly bouncing a real big check his ass couldn’t cover. Follieri went willingly with police officers — no handcuffs — to work out the check fiasco. His lawyers, we hear, are sorting it out and he is now out of police custody.

Police tell us Zac Braff-alike Raffaelo Follieri was popped for one misdemeanor count of issuing a bad check — he’s still in police custody, being booked. A source tells TMZ that the check was written for around $250,000, and when the bank said insufficient funds, it wasn’t even close. Apparently, the devil wears knock-offs!

That’s hardly the end of the bad news for Follieri. A DC court just ordered him to pay almost $250,000 to a PR firm that he still owes for work they did.

[From TMZ]

If you recall, Follieri, who is quietly disliked in Hollywood for apparently living off his A-list girlfriend, was sued last May by a supermarket mogul for mishandling $55 million of his money, and was accused of mismanaging funds from a charity foundation he set up with Hathaway. Anne, honey, take my advice and run far, far away from this clown before you end up Amy Winehouse to his Blake. The dude’s bad news.

Anne Hathaway and Raffaelo Follieri are shown outside the Waverly Inn on 3/9/08, thanks to WENN.

It looks like all those anger management classes, community service, and postponed jail time didn’t do a whole lot of good in curbing Naomi Campbell’s crazy temper. Back in the day, it was mere assistants that had to fear the model’s wrath. Heaven forbid a pair of jeans goes missing, you should expect a Blackberry upside the head in two seconds flat. But it seemed like the general population was probably safe. Turns out, that’s not the case, as Miss Campbell was arrested today after she was taken off a British Airlines flight to Los Angeles. It seems the fashion maven had not one, not two, but three carry-on bags, and one went missing. She threw an absolute shit fit and was removed from the flight. But of course things didn’t end there, as Campbell continued ranting and raving in the British Airlines first class lounge. Police were called, and a fracas ensued. Campbell was arrested for assaulting a police officer, supposedly by spitting on him. What class.

TMZ has learned Naomi Campbell has been arrested at Heathrow Airport after she allegedly assaulted a police officer. Why? Bitch lost her bag!!

Campbell was pulled off a British Airlines flight to L.A. this morning after reportedly causing a huge stink when she says one of her — count ‘em — three carry-on bags was missing. The Sun says after she was yanked off the plane, cops had to be called because the supermodel was told she was unfit to fly. The anger management class superstar was hauled away “ranting and raving” from BA’s first class lounge after allegedly assaulting an officer. Where’s an assistant when you need one?!

Witnesses say they heard the model scream “get off me, leave me alone” as she was taken to the Heathrow police station. Hide your Blackberries!

[From TMZ]

Sky News reported that Campbell spit on a police officer. She is one of those people that you actually want bad things to happen to. I often sit at my desk, dreaming of small, petty problems that could befall Naomi Campbell and cause her to completely snap. Who assaults a police officer over a lost bag? Who beats an assistant over jeans? Let’s be real, how many pairs of jeans do we really think Naomi Campbell actually owns? Not that it’s any big surprise, but clearly anger management doesn’t do much for those that really need it. There are just some people who walk through life with a feeling of entitlement, and they rage at any and everyone when the rest of us don’t understand just how much better they are. Really, I’m sure Naomi will explain that it was the airline’s fault, the cop’s fault… pretty much everyone’s fault but her own. Let’s wait for a perfectly written statement of remorse from her publicist tomorrow.

Here’s some old shots from a photo shoot of Naomi looking all sorry for herself.

Move over, rehab. There’s a new fad among celebs- these days, you’re not anyone in Hollywood unless you’ve got your own personal, creepy stalker. Not one to be outdone by the likes of Tyra Banks, Pamela Anderson and Catherine Zeta Jones, “Say Anything” cutiepants John Cusack has a female stalker who likes to show up unannounced at his home. And no, she doesn’t stand outside holding a boom box over her head, playing Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes,” just in case you were wondering.

A woman who showed up Sunday outside John Cusack’s Malibu home — despite a restraining order barring her from approaching the actor — was arrested on suspicion of stalking, Los Angeles County sheriff’s officials said Monday.

Deputies were called to the 24000 block of Malibu Road about 7 p.m. Sunday after a cab driver reported that a passenger was refusing to pay a fare for a ride to that area.

As deputies approached the scene, they were flagged down by Cusack, who told them that he recognized the woman in the cab and that she had been stalking him.

Emily Leatherman, 33, was booked on suspicion of felony stalking, violating a restraining order and petty theft. Leatherman, who was booked at the Malibu-Lost Hills station, was being held in lieu of $150,000 bail, said sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore.

“She was arrested and had violated a previous restraining order taken out against her by Mr. Cusack,” Whitmore said.

[From the LA Times]

She didn’t have a car, so she took a cab to John’s home- even though she didn’t have cab fare! That’s dedication right there. The mug shot of this chick is really creepy; her eyes look totally dead. John, if you need someone to keep you company and make sure the scary lady doesn’t come back, I’d be happy to help. I’m an excellent markswoman, and I make a mean meat loaf. Call me!

Poison drummer Rikki Rockett was arrested in Los Angeles LAX Airport on Monday on an outstanding warrant for rape in Neshoba County, Mississippi. It is thought that he has been released from police custody and no details are known about the rape charge.

46 year-old Rockett had just arrived in LA from New Zealand, where he had performed with other Poison members at the heavy metal show Rock2Wellington.

According to Wikipedia, he owns a drum manufacturing company, “Rockett Drum Works,” that he started in 2007. He is a vegan and animal rights activist and has a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

While I thought Poison had disbanded long ago, they’re still together and touring and released an album last year.

Maybe we’ll learn more about what Rikki was exactly charged with.

Details from DailyNews.com and TMZ.

Rikki Rockett is shown in the header at World Fest on 4/17/05, thanks to WENN. He is shown below on 10/27/07 at the Guitar Hero III launch party, thanks to PRPhotos.